Dark Attraction: The Corde Noire Series (26 page)

“Never?” She raised her face to his, pouting her lips together. “Then what have you been?”

*     *     *

The way the light was shining in her upturned eyes, along with her seductive pout, was eating him alive. Unable to stand his desperation any longer, Sebastian crashed his lips into hers.

The tremble of surprise from her only made him pull her closer. He deepened his kiss, and when she parted her lips, Sebastian was defeated by her surrender.

He had been able to keep her at arm’s length for quite a while, avoiding touching her, kissing her … hell, he had even been bathing alone to avoid getting too close. But now the days of agony were finally taking their toll; he had to have her.

He pushed her back on the seat, kissing her neck and slipping the wide straps of her dress from her shoulders. He wanted to rip the gown from her body and feel her supple skin. Reaching around to her back, he eased down the zipper.

She shoved his tuxedo jacket over his shoulders. Her frenzied movements seemed to match his, adding to his hunger for her. After wrestling out of his jacket, he was undoing his black tie while she ripped open the buttons on his shirt. When the cool air hit his naked chest, her hands were all over him.

Sebastian yanked the bodice down her chest, desperate to get his mouth on her nipples. He bit down hard on her right nipple and she arched into him. He was tugging at her dress, shoving it down her hips. He finally got the long gown out from under her and dropped it to the floor of the limousine.

With only a pair of black lacy underwear left to remove, he grew hard as he edged them over her thighs. Sam was reaching for the zipper of his pants, nibbling his neck.

Dipping his fingers into her folds, he almost groaned with longing. She was so wet, so ready for him. Unable to wait any longer, he pulled her hips under him, spread her knees apart, and struggled to free his cock from his briefs.

Touching his tip to her wet flesh, he closed his eyes and sighed before he dove into her. She closed around him, taking him into her with a soft moan. God, she felt wonderful.

Why has no other woman felt like this?

His desire took over and he lost all sense of himself. He pulled out and slammed into her, making her gasp. Her nails dug into his chest as he moved, driven by his need to make her his.

The urge that started as a warm rush in his groin climbed higher. Sebastian was grunting as the climax hit him, desperate to give in to his need to come. When he felt that unstoppable surge rising in him, he held her tight and thrust into her with such force, he swore she would cry out for him to stop.

But she didn’t want him to stop. Her heels pressed into his butt, encouraging him to go deeper. He complied and was merciless in his assault. She was bending beneath him, her lips on his neck, and when she shuddered, her teeth clamped down on his flesh. Her ravenous bite was the last thing he remembered before he came.

He was arching over her, breathing hard and amazed at how good it had been. Then, he realized what he had done, and his peaceful afterglow turned into abject panic.

“Shit.”

“What?” Sam cupped his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t put on a condom.” He gazed down into her face. “I wanted … I got carried away.” He moved off her and settled back on the long seat. “I haven’t been that stupid in years.”

Sam sat up, reaching for her dress. “We’re fine. My period is due any day now.”

He glanced over at her, realizing how crass he must have sounded. “I didn’t mean ….” He touched her thigh. “I enjoyed it. Very much.”

Her eyes were glistening with what looked like tears. “You did?”

“More than anything.” He helped her collect her gown. “We’d better get you dressed before Eric opens the door and finds you naked.”  

She giggled. “Wouldn’t that be something?”

Sebastian hid his anger behind a weak smile. He couldn’t let her see how disgusted he was with himself. He had let her get to him. Sam had conquered the last vestiges of discipline he had fought so hard to hold on to. Sebastian Dane was no longer a Dom. He was hers.

The sun was shining through the bedroom windows when Sebastian opened his eyes. He was tired, very tired. It was as if the emotional upheaval in his life was finally bearing down on him. Stretching to the side of the bed, he found her spot was empty.

Bolting upright, he searched the bedroom. For almost three weeks, he had been the one waking her every morning. Now, she was the one who was already up. He didn’t like how it felt.

Shoving the covers aside, he climbed from the bed and spied her dress and his tuxedo on the bench by the bathroom entrance. Stepping into the bathroom, he called for her, but she was not there. When he came out, he found her. Standing by the door to the hall, she was holding a mug of steaming coffee in her hands.

“Figured you could use this.”

When he saw her clad only her black lace panties and diamond collar, he instantly wanted her all over again. It seemed as if he couldn’t stop wanting her lately. 

“You’re up early.” He strode up to her, taking the coffee from her hand. “Are you feeling all right?”

She nodded and clasped her hands behind her back. “I, ah … had to get up early.” Her eyes shot to the floor. “My period started, so I won’t be able to walk around naked for a few days.”

“It’s okay, Sam. I understand.” He took a sip of coffee and then peered into the black liquid. “I want to talk to you about last night.”  

“I shouldn’t have gotten so tipsy. I’m sorry.”

She made a move to walk away, but he held her forearm. “That’s not it. I wanted to talk about what happened in the car.”

“What about it?”

“I don’t usually attack women like that. I also haven’t forgotten to use a condom in a very long time. I wanted to apologize for that.”

She knitted her brow. “Apologize? You don’t have to apologize, Sebastian. It was the first time in weeks that I felt you wanted me, not as a slave or sub, but as me … Sam.” She eased closer to him. “I wish it could always be that way.”

He squeezed his coffee mug so tight, he thought it was going to shatter in his hand. “It was a lapse in judgment.”

The hint of devastation in her blue orbs troubled him. “Whatever you say … Master.” Her hands went to the collar around her neck. “I forgot to give this back to you last night.”

“I was thinking … we should consider your training at an end. I want you to remain here with me.”  

“You want me to stay, permanently?”

He put his coffee mug down on his bedside table. “Yes. I think it’s what we both want.”

She glanced down at the collar in her hand. “You want me to stay as your sub, right?”

“Of course.”   

“But last night in the limo, I wasn’t your sub … I was yours.” She stared into his eyes. “Before I can give you my answer, I need to know how you feel about me.”

The comment impacted him like a nuclear bomb. How did he reply? How did he tell her how much she meant to him, without sacrificing his position as her Dom? Love was death to any Dom-sub relationship, because love made two people equal.

“I care for you, Sam.”

“Care?” The pain in her voice reverberated around the bedroom.

“Don’t ask me to give you more than that. I can’t.”

She dropped the diamond collar on the bed. “I understand.” Heading to the bedroom door, she called over her shoulder, “I’ll get started on breakfast.”

He wanted to run after her and tell her all the confusing and terrifying feelings in his heart.  Instead, he made his way to the bathroom, plotting how he could get out of the house on a Sunday. Sebastian needed to spend some time away from her. He needed to figure out his next move.

*     *     *

It was after noon when Sebastian returned from his office, having told Sam he was going to catch up on paperwork. But that hadn’t been what he had really done. After making some coffee, Sebastian had sat down at his desk and spent most of the morning thinking … about her. He had devised a hundred different ways to tell her how he felt, but every show of emotion went against his grain as a Dom. It was as if there were two sides to his heart: the one that wanted Sam, and the one fighting to remain what he was.

Entering his penthouse, he listened for any sounds of her, but it seemed eerily quiet. Guessing she was in his office—where she spent most of her time—he trotted up the stairs. When he passed his open bedroom door, something made him stop and look inside. The bed had been made, and his tuxedo and her dress put away. He went to the bathroom to see if she was there, and then it struck him.

Her toothbrush and hairbrush were missing from the vanity countertop. Racing to her closet, he inspected her clothes. The ones he had purchased for her were still there, but when he opened the built-in dresser, he discovered the jeans and T-shirts she had brought with her were gone. Even the black duffel bag was absent from the closet floor.

Dashing from the bedroom, he went to the stairs. Bounding down the steps two at a time, his heart racing, he ducked into the kitchen. On the island, he discovered a pink slip of paper.

Sebastian,

I wish I could put into words what being with you has meant to me, but I think you already know. Thank you for the offer, but I can’t go on being your sub. After what we shared last night, I just can’t continue. I don’t want to be your possession any longer. It would be betraying what I feel for you. What I have always felt for you.

I hope one day you find happiness with another. You deserve it. More than anyone I know.

Take care of yourself. I’ll miss you.

Sam  

Sebastian stumbled against the counter. His world had just been snatched out from under him. How in the hell could he go on without her?

The emptiness of her bed, the silence of her bedroom, the chill of not having him next to her … all of it was too much for Sam. Lying in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, she fought the urge to cry, yet again. It was all she had done since returning home. She couldn’t eat, couldn’t think, and now she couldn’t sleep.

Sam tried to occupy her mind with a list of things she needed to do to get her life back in order, without much success. As long as Sebastian was in her head, moving on was going to be a challenge.

It was a little after three when Sam gave up on sleep and got out of bed. In her bathroom, she stood for what seemed like hours staring at her image in the mirror. She didn’t recognize herself any longer. The bright girl she had been was gone, replaced by the hollow features of a woman … a woman in love.

Sliding to the floor of her bathroom, she knew it was true. Despite the circumstances, and Sebastian’s Dom-like ways, she had seen past his cool demeanor to the man within and had fallen desperately in love.

“Damn you, Sebastian!” She banged her fist against the vanity cabinet next to her.

As a single tear cascaded down her cheek, a flash of light from the bedroom made her glance up.

The light wasn’t from a car or passing ship on the Mississippi River; it was a glistening, ethereal light that Sam knew all too well.

Standing from the cold bathroom floor, she went to her bedroom. That was when she heard the knocking. At first, it was in the ceiling, and then moved to the wall. It was the same gentle rapping she had heard before.

Entering her bedroom, she caught a glimpse of a warm, bright light in the corner, right before it vanished. Then the knocking ceased.

“Julie? Julie McNeil?”

Silence. Sam stood, waiting for a response. Then, it came to her. The softest whisper against her cheek said, “Help me.”

“How, Julie? How can I help you?”

The only sound in her ears was the beating of her heart. After a while, when no more otherworldly voices came to her, she headed to her bedroom door.

“For once, I’d love to get a straight answer from a ghost.”

*     *     *

For the next few days, Sam struggled to pull it together. Forcing herself back into her pre-Sebastian routine, she contacted Jill Acrebee and set a date to return to work. Luckily, Jill was shorthanded and wanted Sam to start right away. Sam was happy to return to her busy schedule; she needed something to keep her mind off Sebastian.

It was the nights she came to dread. When not lying in bed awake, inundated with images of Sebastian, she would be continually hounded by the ghost of Julie. The presence was becoming more insistent. The knocking on the walls grew louder, and the unearthly light flashed on and off intermittently throughout the night, making it impossible for Sam to sleep.

By the time she returned to her ICU position at the LSU Interim Hospital, Sam was beyond exhausted. The first day back, she struggled. After the peace in Sebastian’s penthouse, the chaos of the ICU overwhelmed her.

If that wasn’t enough, Piper was at her side soon after she arrived. Filled with questions about Sebastian, her experience, and what had gone wrong. Her friend’s interrogation only added to Sam’s exasperation. 

“You expect me to buy that bullshit, Sam?” Piper roared. “You were in love with the guy. I could see it, Brenda saw it, and everyone around here knew it.”

“Please don’t curse, Piper,” she begged, reminding herself of Sebastian.

“What is wrong with you?” Piper swept a hand down Sam’s blue scrubs. “You look washed out, like you’ve lost all your fire. What happened to that insistent, bubbly little girl you used to be?”

“Little girl?” Sam snickered. “She’s gone, Piper. I left her with Sebastian.”

Piper rested an encouraging hand on her shoulder. “You can’t give up, Sam. Sometimes men take a little time to realize what they have in a woman.”

“Did Randy ever come back to you when you ended it with him?”

Piper sucked in a breath, wincing. “No, and I really liked him. I thought we could have something more, but he was too committed to his life as a Dom to change.”

“Sebastian is the same way.” Sam nodded, trying not to cry. “He’ll just find another sub to replace me. In a few weeks, he’ll have forgotten all about me.”

“The man went to a hell of a lot of trouble to win you, Sam. I’m not convinced he will give you up so easily.”

“I was nothing to him, Piper. Just an amusing toy to play with and then toss aside.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Piper chuckled as she stepped away. “When he shows up on your doorstep, give me a call so I can say ‘told ya so.’”

*     *     *

Back at The Shallows that evening, Sam was entering the elevator from the lobby when she came face-to-face with the ghost of Nathan Cole.

“Sam,” he said with an exuberant smile. “Welcome back.”

She eyed his sleek gray suit. “Shouldn’t you be moving on to those fiery pits of eternal damnation, Nathan?”

“You’re in a pleasant mood.” He punched her floor button on the console as the elevator doors closed. “How was your time with Sebastian?”

She tucked a stray brown strand of hair back into her messy ponytail. “How did you know I was with Sebastian?”

“I know everything that goes on in my building.”

A thought occurred to Sam. “Then do you know about Julie?” The horror that registered in Nathan’s eyes was like nothing she had ever seen from him before—as a man or as a ghost. “Something wrong, Nathan?”

“No, nothing is wrong.” His cool exterior returned. “Is she a new tenant?”

Sam almost snorted at his reply. The man had always been a smooth operator, but it seemed his ghost lacked the cunning he had exhibited in life. “No, she’s the ghost in my apartment. She’s been there since I moved in. I’m pretty certain it’s Julie McNeil. You remember Julie McNeil, don’t you, Nathan?” 

The light of his being dimmed dramatically. Sam observed with interest as the frown on his face faded in and out.

“Julie was a sweet girl,” he finally said. “I didn’t realize she was here.”

“I thought you said you knew everything that went on in your building?”

He pretended to adjust the sleeve on his suit jacket. “There are some things that have remained hidden, even from me.”

Sam grinned as she eyed the lighted floor panel above the elevator doors. “Perhaps there’s a reason she has stayed out of reach.” She dropped her eyes to his glowing apparition. “Sometimes what we fear in life, follows us in death. Maybe Julie is afraid of you, Nathan. Any idea why?”

The elevator doors opened on the fourth floor.

“No one had any reason to fear me in life, or in death.”

Sam stepped from the elevator. “Why don’t I believe that?”   

He stood between the open elevator doors, his essence glistening in the hall lights. “Have you considered my proposition?”

She faced him. “What proposition?”

“I asked you once to help me. Find me, or what is left of me, so I can know peace. Find me and then I can leave this building and never haunt you again.”

Sam considered his proposal. “And what about Julie? How can I help her?”

Nathan glided back into the elevator. “You should probably discuss that with Julie.”

“No, I want to discuss it with you. You’re the reason she’s here, aren’t you?”

His sly grin made her stomach tremble. “Good evening, Sam.”

The elevator doors closed and then he was gone. Sam let out a loud sigh. Now she had two ghosts to contend with.

“Does it ever get easier?”

Trudging toward her apartment door, she already knew the answer. Her gift had shown her that all the turmoil people surrounded themselves with in life, continued in death. Hate, anger, and revenge were just as much a part of the spirit as love. But it was love Sam feared more than any of the other emotions. She had found it in Sebastian’s arms, and the prospect of an existence without love was becoming as empty as the ghosts who inhabited her building.

Inside her door, she let out a long, weary breath and dropped her backpack to the floor. She was so tired. Where would she find the strength to move on?

Passing her kitchen, she eyed the coffeemaker and toyed with the idea of making a fresh pot. In the kitchen, she loaded her coffeemaker with the aromatic blend of coffee and chicory she had grown addicted to since moving to New Orleans. While waiting for the coffee to brew, she became invigorated by the smell. She knew she should try and sleep, but part of her wanted to stay awake and come to terms with her jumbled emotions.

While pouring a mug of coffee, knocking began in her living room wall. The sound traveled upward to the ceiling, growing louder as it went.

“Julie, cut it out,” she shouted at the ceiling.

But the noise became more insistent. The knocking turned into banging and the entire apartment vibrated with the bone-chilling racket.

Incensed, Sam rushed toward the living room wall. She banged her fists against the plaster.

“Stop it. I can’t help you!”

The banging became even louder.

Covering her ears, Sam wanted to scream, but then she thought of another solution. Running to her bedroom, she retrieved the bat she kept under her bed. Taking the bat back into the living room, she held it, ready to swing at the spot in the wall where the thunderous sound was emanating from.

“You want to drive me crazy, fine. Let’s see how you like this!”

She swung at the wall. The thud echoed throughout her apartment. When she gazed at the spot she had hit, Sam was pleased to see she had put a deep dent in the plaster. For a moment, there was quiet. She was about to put the bat aside when the rapping returned.

Sam had reached her breaking point. Between Sebastian, the ghosts, and the tattered remains of her life, she’d had enough. Swinging at the wall, Sam vented her anger. She kept hitting the wall, again and again, knocking bits of white plaster to the hardwood floor. The incessant knocking sped up, coming together so quickly that it sounded like one continuous
boom
in her apartment. 

As the plaster began to fall away, a hole opened up in the wall. Sam felt better seeing that hole. It was as if she were beating the shit out of Sebastian for all the things he had done to her. For all the things he had made her feel.

As her arms grew heavy with exertion, she could see the studs underneath the plaster. The hole steadily grew bigger. Unexpectedly, something dropped from above.

Sam stopped swinging and raised her eyes. What seemed like a faded bit of fabric was hanging from the studs above. On closer inspection, Sam thought she saw something shiny, sparkling beneath the folds of fabric. Then, the odor hit her. Sickly sweet, like a heady bouquet of flowers, yet the aroma was artificial and pungent.

Sebastian’s comments about the smell in his apartment instantly came back to her. Had she found the cause?

Her eyes focused on the shiny object caught in the dusty fabric, and an unsettling feeling hit her. The object was a golden ring, and it was connected to a hand: a withered, black, human hand.