Darker Water (3 page)

“And
that,
ladies and
gentlemen
,
is exactly what I’m talking about.” He ran his
thumb across my skin, along the thin space between my jeans and my
shirt, his eyes never leaving my mouth. “Say thank you.”

I swallowed. “Thank you.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Better, but
you’ll need more practice. If there’s not an app for it, there
should be.” He started walking again. “Now say, ‘Carson, I’m going
to let you do whatever you want to me for as long as you want to do
it.’”

I laughed. “Nice try.”

“It was worth a shot.”

I couldn’t remember ever being this
comfortable with someone I’d just met. Obviously a good thing,
seeing as how I’d be having sex with him really soon. But—

“Do you do this a lot?” Oh my god. Even
I
heard the fear and insecurity in my voice. Please, make it
stop. Please?

“That’s a vague and serious-sounding
question.” He led me towards a liquor store. Awesome idea—I was
going to need a few drinks. But instead of going in, he leaned up
against the glass and crossed his arms. “If you mean do I pick up a
lot of women in coffee shops, then no. If you’re asking me if I
have a lot of sex? You’d have to define ‘a lot’ and I would
probably still say ‘not enough.’ But I’m always safe, and I get
regular check-ups. If you’re asking me if I’m having a hard time
deciding how fast I want to walk because part of me can’t wait to
get you naked and the other part is actually having a great time
hearing your do’s and don’ts, then I’d definitely say yes.”

“What would you say if I asked if you were
honest?”

“I’d say, ‘Always’.” His eyes didn’t leave
mine. “And then I’d tell you I
really
want to sleep with
you, but you need to understand upfront that I don’t date or get
involved. With anybody, not just you. If that’s not the same thing
you want, then I will very happily continue this conversation all
the way to your place where I will
keep
being honest and
tell you that it was great to meet you but I have to say goodnight.
So…” His eyebrows went up expectantly.

He was so far from being the perfect guy, and
that was what made him so perfect for me. No expectations, no
emotional crap, no frog.

“So…” I started walking again, not checking
to see if he followed. “While I think it’s really hot when a guy
talks dirty, certain terms must be agreed upon beforehand.”

Carson started speaking when he was a step
behind me. “Oral sex is never obligatory, just very, very
appreciated. That also means when I go down on a woman, it’s
because I
want
to be there, and she better not get all shy
about it. I hate that.”

“Nice.”

“Wait, there’s more to that one. A woman
should love her body at
least
as much as I do.”

I liked that one a lot.

“Okay, your turn now,” he said with the most
honest smile I’d seen in a really long time.

It took me a minute to think of another. And
then I did—one that I’d never have admitted to anyone I knew. “A
guy shouldn’t make a face or laugh when he hears a woman’s deepest,
darkest fantasies.”

“What do you mean? Like what kind of
fantasy?”

“I don’t know. Like that I want to try
fooling around with another woman and be tied up and—”

“Fuck,” he groaned, then I did but for a
different reason. I could tell from his expression that he’d
deliberately set me up for that. And I’d completely fallen for
it.

“That wasn’t nice.”

“True, but it was highly enlightening, don’t
you think?”

“I can’t believe I just told you that.”
Although, honestly, putting it out there was freeing. And horribly
embarrassing.

“Me neither, but I’m really glad you did. Now
walk faster.”

“I hope you’re not this hurried in
all
things.”

He stopped and turned to me, cupping my chin
and leaning close. “I plan on exploring every curve of your body
until you’re begging me to be inside you. Then I’m going to make
you wait while I make absolutely sure I’ve been everywhere. When
I’m ready, I’m going to take you. Slowly. I’ll set the pace, not
you—not the first time, anyway.” He took a breath but, at some
point, I’d forgotten how. “So should we keep power-walking to my
place or would you rather take a casual stroll around the
neighborhood?”

“Walking. I’m walking,” I said quickly. “Come
on, we’re walking!”

His building had a doorman, the lobby was
gorgeous, and I couldn’t wait to see what his apartment looked
like. He didn’t seem like someone who could afford a place like
this.

He flipped around as soon as we saw a
middle-aged couple waiting for the elevator and arguing loudly.
“Mood killer, for sure. Let’s take the stairs.”

He pulled me up three flights of stairs. I
slammed into his back before the door to the stairwell had even
closed behind me, and he dropped my hand as if it burned.

“What are you doing here?” he asked someone
in front of him. I peeked around and saw an incredibly beautiful
blonde standing next to what I assumed was the door to Carson’s
apartment.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Shit, Anna. Now’s... You can’t just drop by
whenever you want. We talked about this.”

All lust quelled, I stepped away from him.
“I’ll see you around.”

“No, wait. Anna was—”

“Going to tell you about the call I just got
from—”

“Enough, Anna,” he snapped. “I get it.” He
ran a hand through his hair and came a step closer to me. “Can I
get your number?”

“Jesus, Carson,” she grumbled. “Where do you
find these women?” She leaned around him to look down her nose at
me. “Do you charge by the hour or by the night, honey?”

“By the orgasm. I make a lot more that way.”
I heard Carson laugh but kept my attention on the snob. “His name
is Carson?” I asked dramatically. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure what to
scream when I come. ‘Oh god’ is so impersonal, don’t you
think?”

Anna’s look of offense was
hysterical—
she
was the one who threw the stone. I wasn’t
going to let anyone knock me down again—man, woman, or bitchy
blonde.

“I don’t know about you,” I said, “but I
usually stick to ‘baby’ because it’s a lot safer to go generic.
Sooo
awkward when you call out the wrong name, right? Wait,
I should test it out.” I cleared my throat. “Carson, that’s so
good,” I screamed. “Yes, yes, right there, Carson!” And then
smiled. “It sounds good, don’t you think? You have a nice name,
Carson. I like it.”

“Good, ’cause I like
you
.” He stared
at me, his eyes traveling from my eyes to my lips and back again.
“And I’m really looking forward to hearing you do that again.”

“There’s a first.” Anna chuckled. “Carson
actually said something nice to a woman he’s fucking.”

“We’re not fucking,” I said. “Because you’re
blocking the door.”

He wrapped his hand around the nape of my
neck, pulled me close, and whispered, “I might be tempted to step
in to defend your honor…if you weren’t so fucking good at doing it
for yourself. But while it’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever
seen and that name thing was
definitely
the hottest thing
I’ve ever heard, it’s not going to make her leave.”

“Then what will?” I mumbled.

Anna tapped her foot on the floor but didn’t
move away from the door. “Are you going to make me wait in the
hallway until you’re done with her, Carson?”

“Are you seriously giving me shit about how I
live my life?”

“I’m not allowed to care?”

They started speaking over each other—stuff
about bad timing, there not
being
a good time, priorities,
and other things I couldn’t follow. They sounded an awful lot like
the middle-aged couple arguing near the elevators, actually.

“I’m gonna go now,” I said, not knowing if
either of them heard me. I didn’t run to the stairway, but it was
tough, humiliated in a situation that should have meant nothing to
me. The opinion of his ex or his fuck buddy or whatever Anna was
shouldn’t matter. It wasn’t a competition. Thankfully, because if
it was at all based on looks, I’d lose in the first three seconds.
I’m the girl who has long hair just so it looks okay stuck up in a
clip right out of the shower. Anna was the kind of girl who spent
three hours drying and straightening her hair before she put it up
in a clip.

Carson hadn’t promised me anything but a good
time. And this wasn’t one. But it wasn’t the end of the world or
even close to the worst thing that had happened to me this year,
either. So, comparatively speaking, I’d get over it in no time at
all.

He chased me, calling my name, but didn’t
catch up until I’d reached the first-floor landing. He grabbed my
arm and turned me towards him. “Anna is famous for saying shit she
shouldn’t.”

“She can say whatever she wants to other
people—I don’t care. But I dislike it when people call me a whore.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t actually know I disliked it until today
because Anna’s the first who’s ever called me one, but now I know I
should add it to the list of names I don’t want to be called.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, even though it wasn’t
his fault.

“I thought you didn’t apologize.”

“Rarely. I
rarely
apologize.”

“It was nice to almost fuck you, Carson.”

“It was nice to almost fuck you, too.” He
stepped closer, pushing me backwards with his hands on my hips. I
stopped moving when I hit the wall but he didn’t, not until his
body was flush to mine. “But I’m not letting you go until I get
something out of it.”

“In the stairwell?”

“I’ll take you wherever, whenever.” He kissed
me, slowly at first, giving us a chance to learn each other’s lips.
Then it got deeper and I learned that he tasted incredible and
masculine and was very possibly the best kisser I’d ever met.
Because I could feel his passion, understand exactly what he’d be
like in everything else—commanding, experienced, patient but only
up to a point. I wanted to see him lose control, to be with him
when it happened.

He ran his hand up my side and cupped my
breast. I think I whimpered when the pressure disappeared.
Thankfully, it showed up again, this time to grab hold of my hair
and tilt my head back so he could get to my neck.

Everything moved in slow motion: his lips
brushing my neck, his hands holding me right where he wanted me,
his hips grinding against mine. It had been a few months since I’d
been this close to an erection, but I didn’t remember them being
that
hard. He took my mouth again, pressing me tighter to
the wall, a few too many layers of clothing separating us.

“Damn,” he said after breaking the kiss and
putting his hands on the wall to either side of me, his eyes still
closed. I couldn’t help staring at his lips, watching the way they
moved, remembering the way they tasted. But the rest of him was
just as gorgeous, so I wanted to taste all of that, too. “When I
call you and invite you over, what are you going to say?”

“Um…” I swallowed and took a breath. “I think
I’ll start with something like, ‘Is Anna still there?’”

“And when I say, ‘No?’” He held back a second
longer before leaning down to my neck and running his lips across
my skin. I tilted my head farther back to give him more room to
maneuver.

“I’ll say, ‘Are you actually going to let me
into your apartment or are you planning to do me in the
stairwell?’”

“Then I’ll say, ‘I have a very big, very
empty bed to do you in and—” Groaning, he pushed himself backwards
and adjusted his cock. “Shit. We need to stop talking or I’m going
to carry you upstairs over my shoulder. Which, as much as I want to
do, is something I can’t. I wish Anna hadn’t been such a bitch but
I need to—”

“You need to do whatever you need to do.”

“No, I need to do
one
of the things I
need to do. I’m praying that the
other
thing I need to do
with the person I need to do it with will still be available to me
when I can do it. Because I’m not sure I’ve ever needed to do
anything this badly before.”

“Then I guess you should ask that person
very, very nicely.”

“Oh, I intend to be nicer to her than any man
has ever been.”

“God, I hope you can do better than that,” I
said, typing my number into his phone.

“Ouch.” He grimaced, then kissed me lightly.
“Believe me, I can. You are a beautiful and complicated woman,
Lane.” His next kiss was harder. “Say thank you.”

“Thank you.” It was more moaned than said. I
couldn’t remember ever wanting someone this much either, and I knew
next to nothing about him. But what I did know, I really, really
liked. He was blistering hot, funny, smart—

No!
My body tightened when I felt the
unwanted warmth of emotion go through me. I couldn’t let my curse
ruin another man.

“You’re not a nice guy, right?” I asked,
pushing him away. “I mean you seem nice, but that’s only because
you want to get in my pants. Once you’ve done that, you’ll stop
being nice, right?” My voice sounded frantic, desperate.

“Umm… I’m not sure how nice I am, but I
am
sure that I’m one-hundred percent screwed up and without
a doubt the worst possible man a woman could ever have a
relationship with. If I
did
relationships, which I don’t.
And I’ve never broken anyone’s heart because I don’t stick around
long enough to create any of those feelings. Does that make you
feel better?”

I blew out a breath. “Yeah. Thanks. Just make
sure you stay that way, okay?”

“Four times more intriguing,” he said,
cocking his head slightly. “At least.”

Oh shit. I needed to get out of here before I
said something stupid like…any of the things that were flying
through my head at the moment.

“Okay, bye.” That was embarrassingly lame,
but at least it got me moving.