Darkest Longings (58 page)

while he smiled at her, but as yet they had done no more than exchange a formal greeting when he arrived. Through the din of deep male voices and the clatter of cutlery he

could hear her frantic laughter, and he saw the way her

fingers trembled when she lifted her glass to her lips. He

wondered why Erich hadn’t told him how her eyes had lost

their lustrous sparkle, her hair its soft, golden sheen, and how she winced with pain every time she made a sudden movement.

The evening passed much as he had expected. There was

a great deal of talk, but nothing much was actually said, and

he gleaned little information that he didn’t already know.

He exchanged a word or two with de Gaulle about Lucien,

who, the Colonel informed him, was currently at Lorvoire

on leave. Francois felt a pang of regret; he would very much

have liked to see his brother.

‘I’m glad to say that it’s official leave this time,’ de Gaulle

remarked.

‘This time?’ Francois said curiously.

‘I had to reprimand him some time ago,’ de Gaulle

explained, ‘for taking off without permission. I left it at that,

for he’s not one to desert his post in a time of crisis, which is

when it counts. But it wasn’t the first time he’d disappeared

for a few days; his pursuit of the ladies is going to land him in

deep trouble if he doesn’t watch out.’

A little while later Francois heard Paul Paillole asking

Elise if she was all right, and as he looked up she caught his

eye, and he felt the full force of her adoration. How it tugged

at his heart! Yet the affection he felt for her now was almost

paternal, the painful love of a father for a damaged child. As

the evening wore on, none of the guests had failed to notice

her periodic moments of confusion. Her green eyes would

glaze over, and the smile on her lips would start to quiver as

she was sucked into the grip of some terrifying vision. It

lasted only a matter of seconds, but afterwards she would be

disoriented, off-balance. What was to become of her? Francois wondered despairingly. Not that he had any intention of deserting her, but how was she going to fill the

rest of such a blighted life?

At ten o’clock Charles de Gaulle got up to leave. He

wanted to be back with his regiment before morning, he told

Francois, ‘And as for thinking you’re going to persuade the

French army to lay down their arms,’ he growled, ‘I can tell

you that I for one have no intention whatever of handing my

country to the Boche.’

‘Hear, hear,’ Paul Reynaud said, helping himself from

the cigar box.

‘And that possibility would not even have arisen,’ de

Gaulle went on passionately, ‘if France had prepared

herself for this war - which men like you and me, Francois,

were predicting as long ago as thirty-three. It is a tragedy

that our country should be blighted with generals who have

blinkered themselves to events in Germany for so long.

They cannot even begin to imagine what this war will be

like, their methods are outdated, their strategy is prehistoric.

And even now, is anything being done to expand our

Air Force? I tell you, my friend, I shudder for the fate of this

nation. And much as I detest the British, at least they will

fight, and fight to the bitter end.’

It was another two hours before the others could be

prised from their brandy and cigars and the comfort of

Elise’s sitting-room, but eventually they departed encouraged

on their way by Francois, who could see that

Elise was beginning to tire. He talked to Erich at the door

for a few moments, then turned back into the apartment.

Elise was pouring him another drink. He took it from her,

put it on the table beside him and pulled her into his arms.

‘How are you, cherie?’ he murmured.

‘Better now you’re here,’ she answered.

He noticed how careful she was not to press her body

against his. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he said. ‘Have you been well

looked after in my absence?’

She lifted her face to look at him, and there was

something of the old light in her eyes as she said, ‘If you

mean, how am I getting along without sex, then the answer is

that it’s not as difficult as you might think.’

He chuckled. ‘That’s not what I meant at all,’ he said. But

how much he admired her courage in coming straight to the

point of a subject that would have proved extremely difficult

for him to broach.

‘That is,’ she said, ‘it hasn’t been difficult until now,

because you haven’t been here to tempt me.’

He looked at her warily, not knowing quite how he should

respond. Then, to his surprise, she drew his mouth down to

hers and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

‘What you meant,’ she said, letting him go and handing

him back his brandy, ‘was, how am I getting along with my

nursemaid? And the answer is, she has proved an extremely

diverting companion. Where did you find her?’

‘I didn’t,’ he confessed. ‘Erich did.’

‘Oh. My other nursemaid.’ She grinned up at him. ‘Little

Erich clucks around me like a mother hen,’ she explained. ‘I

think in some bizarre way he feels responsible for what’s

happened - there are even times when I find myself

comforting him, and telling him everything will be all right!

Isn’t that funny? But I wouldn’t be without him for the world.’

Francois grimaced. ‘If anyone is responsible,’ he said

darkly, ‘I am.’

She patted her hair, and stole a quick, nervous glance at

herself in the mirror over the hearth. ‘No, chert, you mustn’t

blame yourself,’ she said. ‘It’s done now, and no amount of

self-recrimination from you is going to change it. I’m just

glad that you’re here. I was afraid I might never see you

again.’ Her lip trembled. ‘You did want to see me again,

didn’t you?’ she said, her eyes widening like a child’s.

‘Of course.’

‘Only I got the impression, before … before you went

away, that perhaps things had changed between us. That

you were going to tell me it was over for us.’

Pulling her back into his arms so that she could no longer

see his eyes, he said, ‘No, I wasn’t going to do that.’

‘I’m so relieved.’ She laughed uneasily. ‘I don’t think I’d

want to carry on if that were true. And thank you for holding

the dinner here tonight. It meant a lot to me to know that I

was still of some use to you. You made me feel needed again.

It’s important to feel needed, don’t you agree?’

‘Yes,’ he whispered. ‘Yes, it’s important.’

‘But you don’t like discussing feelings, do you?’ she said,

breaking away from him. ‘So shall we change the subject?’

‘Aren’t you tired?’ he asked, watching her as she went to

sit down.

‘Not really.’ Then her face suddenly changed, and she

peered up at him from under her lashes and started to

giggle. ‘Oh, I see,’ she said. ‘You want to go to bed. Why

didn’t you say? Oh, Francois! You haven’t forgotten the

other things I can do for you, have you? Shall we go into the

bedroom, or would you prefer it here?’ And getting up from

the sofa, she started towards him.

‘Elise,’ he said, closing his hands over hers as she started

to unbutton his fly.

‘Yes, chert?’ she murmured, putting her head back and

gazing up into his eyes.

Dear God, how was he going to tell her? How could he

explain that he simply couldn’t let her do this?

To his eternal relief the door opened at that moment, and

a plain, large-faced woman he had never seen before came

into the room.

‘Bonsotr, monsieur,’ she said. ‘I am Beatrice.’ And from the

barely perceptible lift of her eyebrows he realized that she

was Elise’s ‘nursemaid’.

‘Beatrice!’ Elise cried, turning round. ‘What are you

doing here?’

‘I’ve come to put you to bed, Elise,’ Beatrice answered. ‘It

is past midnight.’

‘But Francois is here,’ Elise said truculently.

‘And he will still be here in the morning,’ Beatrice

declared, looking meaningfully at Francois. ‘So come along

now, no arguing.’

Elise shrugged, and giving Francois a sheepish, naughty

look, she obediently walked off to the bedroom.

‘I’ll be with you in a minute,’ Beatrice called after her.

Then turning back to Francois, she said, ‘I hope you didn’t

mind me interrupting, monsieur. I’m afraid she is like that

with most men who call. She needs to know that they - you still

find her attractive. I say you, because she calls them all Francois when she is trying to seduce them.’

‘Oh, God!’ Francois groaned. ‘I had no idea.’

‘No. Well, how could you? I hope you don’t mind staying the night. The maid has prepared the spare room for you.

It’s only that if Elise wakes in the early hours and

remembers that you were here, then discovers you have left,

I’m afraid she won’t take it too well. Frankly, I’m surprised I

managed to get her off to bed so easily now. She got herself

quite worked up earlier when she knew she was going to see

you.’

Beatrice hesitated a moment, then said, ‘I’m afraid there’s no easy way of telling you this, monsieur, but I think you should know that she has convinced herself you are

going to marry her. She tells me at least a dozen times a day

how much she loves you, how much you love her, and that

you will find the man who attacked her and kill him. Erich

reassures her on this point, since it is something she needs

to hear, but as far as you marrying her is concerned, she

refuses to understand that it is not possible. She says you

don’t love your wife, and she has all but begged Erich to

arrange for someone to “remove” her, as she puts it. She

even goes so far as to insist that he will be doing you a favour

if he does so. Of course,’ she went on, when she saw how

strained Francois’ face had become, ‘she only says these

things when her mind is obscured from reason, but

nevertheless I thought I should warn you.’

‘Warn is a strong word to use, Beatrice,’ he said.

‘She can be very determined, monsieur, as I’m sure you

know. And with the contacts she has, she doesn’t necessarily

need Erich to carry out her wishes.’

He closed his eyes as the memory of the movie stuntman,

Philippe Mauclair, swelled to the front of his mind. ‘No, she

doesn’t,’ he said. ‘And I thank you for telling me this. I shall

rely on you to inform either Erich or me if you feel there is

any danger of her pursuing this plan.’

‘Of course,’ she said. Then, after a pause, ‘Maybe now is

not the time, monsieur, but perhaps we should at some point

discuss the possibility of having her institutionalized.’

‘No!’ he said sharply. ‘No. If she had no clarity of mind at

all, I might agree - but she has already suffered so much

because of me … I will not even consider the idea. Now, I

think I’ll take myself off to bed.’

‘Monsieur,’ Beatrice said, as he reached the door. ‘There

is one other thing, I’m afraid. It is concerning Halunke.’

Francois turned back. ‘Yes?’ he said in a tight voice.

‘Corinne, your son’s nanny, managed to get a message to

me which I received earlier this evening. It would appear

that your wife thinks Halunke might be back at Lorvoire.’

Francois closed his eyes. ‘Might?’ he said.

‘No one has actually seen him.’

‘No one has ever seen him, apart from Elise.’

‘And then he was wearing a mask.’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Have you told Erich?’

‘I caught him as he was going down the stairs. He told me

to tell you he has already set out for Lorvoire.’

Francois knew he must not over-react, but knowing how

he had deceived von Liebermann, his instinct was to follow

von Pappen to Lorvoire immediately.

As if reading his thoughts, Beatrice said, ‘Erich also told

me to advise you not to go to Lorvoire. At least, not until you

hear from him. Your presence there would negate the

purpose of his visit.’

Francois seemed thoughtful, almost as if he hadn’t heard

what she’d said. ‘I’ll give Erich until tomorrow evening to

contact me,’ he said. ‘If I haven’t heard from him by then, I

shall go to Lorvoire myself.’

It was a decision he would regret for the rest of his life.

Claudine burst out of her bedroom onto the landing of their

Paris home, fastening her watch around the wrist of her

black glove and struggling to keep purse and hat under her

arm. She and Monique had taken the early train from

Chinon, and had arrived at the Bois de Boulogne around

eleven o’clock. Now it was fast approaching one, Monique

had already gone out to meet an old school friend at the Ritz,

and if she, Claudine, didn’t hurry she was going to be late

for her lunch with Tante Celine.

Finally snapping the watch into place, she started down

the stairs just as Magaly called out after her.

‘Yes, I have it!’ she cried in answer. ‘I should be back

around four, but if Solange telephones tell her she can reach

me at Tante…’ She stopped dead. Standing at the front door,

looking up at her with his piercing black eyes, was Francois.