Darkness Before Dawn (38 page)

I walk to the kitchen with an extra bounce in my step and get the trash bag to take out while grabbing my phone to call Becky. I dial her number and shriek my news as soon as she greets me, jumping up and down enthusiastically at her answering scream.

"What made you take it?" she asks once we've calmed down.

I shrug. "I don't know. I was sleeping the majority of the day, my tits are extra sore, I feel gross all day even though I haven't thrown up, I haven't gotten my period in well over a month now!"

"I'm so excited!" she shrieks again. "What'd Cole say?"

"I haven't told him yet," I reply, biting down on my lip.

"Oh?"

"I think I'll tell him on our wedding night," I respond, wiping my free hand on my jeans.

"True and what a great wedding present! He's going to be so exciiiteeddd," she sings.

"I know," I reply with a laugh. "You want me to pick you up on Thursday?"

"Sure! We get in at noon so we should have plenty of time to shop before we leave for the hotel. Does he know where the reception is yet?"

"Nope," I reply with a smile. "Unless Big Mouth found out and told him."

Becky laughs. "Yeah, I wouldn't put it past him. You better not tell him you're pregnant unless you want Cole to find out in five minutes!"

I'm able to get some studying done before Cole gets home, but it doesn't occur to me that we have no dinner until I hear him walk in the door. I scramble to put my things away rapidly and greet him at the door, the smell of pizza stopping me dead in my tracks. Suddenly I feel like I haven't eaten in days and I quicken my steps, reaching him and taking the box out of his hands. Before I even have time to process what I'm doing, I place it on the kitchen counter, open it, and take a big bite of a slice, my chewing only slowing down when I feel his eyes on me.

"When was the last time you ate?" he asks in his pissed off voice, making me look up to find him with his head tilted sideways as he squints at me with his arms crossed.

"Lunch," I reply before taking another bite. My eyes widen and I drop the pizza before quickly wiping my hands on a napkin. "Ohmygod, I'm sorry! I didn't even say hi!" I scoot between the stools and go around the counter to wrap my arms around him, nuzzling into his chest. "Hi baby, thank you for the pizza and for always smelling so good. I missed you and I love you."

His answering chuckle vibrates through my body, coiling my insides and instantly making me want him. I run my hands flat on his hard chest up to his tie and untie it while looking up at him and licking my lips. I see the way his throat bobs when he swallows and his eyes darken as he watches me slowly undo the buttons on his dress shirt.

"Remind me to bring you pizza every night," he says hoarsely, roaming his hands all over my back and down the sides of my body before reaching back up and cupping my sensitive breasts. I throw my head back with a moan, placing my hands on the waistband of his pants as he continues to massage my breasts over the thin material of my cotton shirt. "No bra. I approve," he murmurs, dipping his head and flicking my hard nipple with his tongue.

Pleasure shoots through me and he wraps his arms around my back, bringing me flush against him as he places feather kisses over my neck working up to my jaw and finally landing on my mouth with a searing kiss. He backs away a few inches and rubs his nose against mine before sighing a breath and gazing into my eyes.

"I missed you too," he whispers against my lips. "Let's eat so we can finish what we started."

My stomach rumbles at the mention of food, making Cole shake his head and set me on my feet. I take out a notepad as we eat to go over the guest list again, just to make sure we didn't miss anybody, not that we're having the wedding of the century or anything. We've decided to keep it small and intimate, only inviting people that we truly want to share that day with.

"Have you thought more about inviting Colleen?" I ask after taking a sip of water.

Cole wipes his mouth and exhales a breath. "I've thought about it, but I really don't know. On one hand I think why not, and on the other, I don't know if I want her there. What if she tries to bring him?" he asks in reference to Camden, making my heart sink for him.

"She won't, but if you want her there, I think she should be there," I respond quietly. "As sick as it is, Camden didn't think he was doing anything wrong, Cole. I mean...he made sure that you were okay and had money. I know it doesn't make what he did right and I hate him for it, but I think he thought it was the only way."

"Yeah, that's what makes it worse," Cole scoffs. "Whatever. I don't need him. Just invite Colleen, I guess."

I place my hand on his, offering him a small smile. "Okay. Let me get your invitation," I whisper, hopping off the stool and placing a kiss on his cheek before walking to our room and into my closet. I kneel down and get my all-things-wedding box out from the corner, opening the lid and sorting through things I've collected in the past week. I smile brightly when I find the box with invitations and open it, taking out the one I custom-made especially for him and putting the rest away, before deciding I should show him how the rest of them look as well.

When I go back to the kitchen, I find him typing furiously into his phone and the table is cleared of everything except the notepad. Standing on the balls of my feet, I place a kiss on the back of his neck that makes him shiver and put his phone down. He pivots the stool to face me and bites down on his lip, looking at me with mischievous eyes as he grabs my hips and pulls me between his legs.

"Nope. None of that right now," I warn, putting his invitation between our faces.

"Finally!" he groans. "I've never heard of a groom getting invited to his own damn wedding!"

I laugh and swat his hands when he tries to reach for me again as I back away and wait for him to open the envelope. He opens it carefully, and I watch as his mouth pops open when he takes out the folded ivory card stock with a half-moon on it. He looks at me and smiles before continuing to open it by pulling the moon up and unfolding it flat. My eyes are on his as they scan it and his smile broadens when he gets to the bottom. He shakes his head, placing it beside him and looking at me in awe.

"Come here," he says gruffly.

I walk over to him, letting him pull me into his arms and hold me in silence as he places occasional kisses on my forehead as his chest rises and lowers against me.

"I've been waiting my entire life to make you my wife," he whispers against me. "I wouldn't miss it for the world...besides, you haven't given me many options," he adds with a laugh, making me laugh along.

"Do you like where we're getting married?" I ask equally as quiet.

He backs away to look at me with a huge grin on his face, his eyes glowing. "I couldn't have picked a more perfect place."

I smile and run my hands over his invitation, flattening it to look at it again.

"I figured I should reply to all of those notes you've written me," I say with a smile as I look at it.

"I think I'll live with you not writing back. I don't think you can top this one anyway," he replies as he stands and scoops me into his arms and begins to walk to our room.

"I haven't shown you the real invitations yet!" I squeal.

"You can show me later, we have unfinished business to take care of." He dips me, biting my neck and making me yelp.

Walking hand in hand with Cole, enjoying a gorgeous Chicago day as we head to a high-end jewelry store on Michigan Avenue, I feel like my life can't get any better. I think we're both slowly getting to a good place in our lives as individuals and growing stronger as a couple. I lean into his arm and swing my free hand into somebody, straightening my body to apologize. My heart drops when I see Liam looking back at me, apologizing at the same time. We both freeze in place, getting pushed by all sides because of our sudden stops. I'm thankful that Cole's arms hold me from being flung with the traffic of bustle of people around us.

"Hey." He looks at me with serious chocolate eyes.

"Hey," I respond quietly.

"Let's go, babe," Cole urges, pulling my hand.

"I've tried calling you," Liam says, ignoring him. "I would really love to talk to you. I know you don't want anything to do with me, with any of us, but just one chance to explain—that's all I want."

I swallow the knot in my throat as I look into his solemn eyes. "Is it true? About Alex being my dad?"

Liam exhales sharply and Cole pulls on my hand again. "Yes, but to me, you were mine, Blake. I was the one who was there for your mom through her pregnancy, in the hospital. I was the one changing your diapers, cleaning your cuts and kissing your bruises."

"You were also the one who willingly gave her up!" Cole bites, standing in front of me to block me from Liam's view.

"For her safety! She was living with her grandmother! An amazing woman, I might add! I fucked up not being able to find her after that, I know I did! I've been paying for that for twenty-five years, dammit!" Liam shouts.

"So have I," I whisper, mostly to myself.

"So has she!" Cole yells back at the same time. "We both have. But you were an adult! You and Camden were adults! We were FOUR!"

I move off to the side closer to the building, yanking on Cole's arm so he can move with me, and Liam follows.

"I can't speak for Camden, his decisions are his. But I'm sorry, I really am. Like you said, you were four. And you were being taken care of by lovely people. I was an adult, I had to...have to live with my decisions every day knowing that I could've done things differently. Knowing I was dealing with a...look what's done is done. I know I can't change that. I know you may never forgive me, but know that I am truly sorry. Truly," he says, looking directly into my eyes so I can feel the weight of his apology.

"Okay," I reply, cutting Cole off before he starts again. "I think I'm finally at a place in my life that I can take your apology and maybe even Alex's and move on."

"Maybe one day we can get together," Liam suggests, making Cole mutter curses under his breath.

I look at him one last time—his smooth skin, brown eyes, dark hair, the lines around his mouth—and steady myself when a gust of wind flows through us, allowing me to smell him...rain. I look down at myself, my still flat but promising stomach and smile sadly. "Maybe one day," I whisper before pulling Cole out of there and continuing our walk into the stores.

"I'm proud of you," Cole says, placing a kiss on my palm.

I respond with a smile and let him lead me into the jewelry store.