Dawn Annis (15 page)

Did she dare trust again? Shane was not Sidney. She knew that. Shane was kind, gentle, and caring. Feelings she had enjoyed only with her mother and Smithers. She believed Sidney’s feeling for her would change for the better as their marriage progressed. It wasn’t to be.

Shane’s emotions, his very way of life, was genuine. He wasn’t someone who hid his true self from others. The truth of Shane was there for all to see. No hidden reasons, no manipulation. Anger, kindness, irritation, or caring. Whatever emotion he was feeling was there out in the open. He knew no other way.

Chapter 20

Nervous excitement filled Kate. She hoped Shane would come. Afraid he wouldn’t. She sat in her chair by the fire, her leg across her knee, her foot twirling in rapid circles. She rose and moved to the table. She picked up the brush and ran it through her hair once again. She couldn’t remain still, the thought of him ever present. She walked to the window. Pushing the draperies aside, she gazed out at the loch. Its surface was painted silver by the bright moon.

She saw him at the evening meal, of course, but hadn’t the opportunity to spend time with him. She spent her evening talking with Seamus, checking on his progress. Soon she would be able to declare him fit. His bruises had disappeared and his chest was healing as she expected.

Kate’s heart jumped into her throat at Shane’s patterned knock. She gulped a deep breath, drawing her courage. She opened the door wide for him to join her. When she closed the door, she stepped up to Shane, took his face in her hands as he had done to her so often, and kissed him. Shy at first, she’d never sought a kiss from a man before now. But Shane’s reaction gave her confidence.

Kate opened her mouth and tentatively thrust her tongue to meet Shane’s, deepening the kiss. He seized her invitation. He held her, inviting more. With her lips, her tongue, and her body, she pressed closer, her hands grasping his shoulders, then moving around his neck. She shifted, her belly cradling his manhood. He shook. He moved his hands, one around her back to bring her even closer to him. The other glided down to her bottom, tilting her hips toward him, exploring her mouth with his own.

“I had not expected this, lass,” Shane said, breathing hard. “I expected it would be an evening of quietly discussing fields and crops. Livestock and gardens. Repairs and gathering food stores.” Shane sucked in his breath and held Kate close. He ran his hands through her thick hair. “I expected another night of lying in my own bed, frustrated. Staring at the ceiling, trying to get ye out of my mind so I could sleep.”

“I have other ideas,” Kate whispered in his ear. She had made up her mind.

Shane picked Kate up and cradled her in his arms as he made his way to her bed. Tenderly, he laid Kate down. Kate was so intent with Shane and his touch she barely realized her clothes were no longer on her body. Instead, they lay in a heap on the floor. Shane paused to rid himself of his clothes and soon warmed them both as he laid beside her.

As he kissed her, Shane traced with the rough pads of his fingers from her cheek to her shoulder scratching slightly as he moved to her breasts. He suckled then blew gently across her nipples causing her sweet insanity. He lavished attention to one breast and then the other, gently cupping each, caressing. Kate arched her back, begging for more. Shane found her lips. She clung to the kiss, an anchor in her tilted world. White-hot pleasure pooled in her loins. His hands then moved, seemly of their own volition down her waist and across her hip to her thigh.

Kate tensed. Her mind whirled with feelings of doubt, feelings beyond her control. She knew she wanted to be with Shane but her memories of Sidney flowed through her mind. Memories of him biting the breast Shane so lovingly caressed. The scars on her back from the beatings she had endured and the mocking laughter of Sidney’s cruelty. Doubt threatened to overwhelm her. A tremor coursed through her.

“I am not him, my love. I’ll not hurt ye.” Shane brushed her hair from her face with his gentle hand. “Ye are with me. Ye have nothing to fear.”

Shane continued to stroke her, clasping her to him. His touch caused her to shiver again, this time from the intensity of her senses. She calmed herself. Would she let Sidney ruin this moment, the sheer beauty of this moment with Shane? No! Her brute of a husband would not take this from her. He would not steal one more minute from her.

She embraced Shane, who had his strong arms around her. Felt his body, warm and safe. She knew Shane wouldn’t hurt her. He would protect her, keep her safe. Even from himself, if she asked it.

Shane knew Kate had warred with herself however briefly. He held her tight and kissed Kate’s worried brow until it eased. She relaxed and he knew she had won the battle. Her kisses told him it was in his favor.

His hand moved from her thigh to her moist folds, his fingers exploring the heat between her legs. Kate slipped her arms around Shane’s neck, urging him toward her, settling herself underneath him.

“I want ye. I need ye,” he said as he nuzzled her ear, kissing along her jaw line, his lips on the spot where her rapid pulse fluttered.

“Yes,” Kate responded breathlessly.

“I want to be inside ye.”

“Yes.”

“Are ye sure?” He had to know she wanted him as much as he desired her, to give her the opportunity to say no. If she wanted to stop, he would, though it would cost him dearly. It was her choice.

Kate gave her silent consent as she opened her legs to him, allowing him access.

Shane sighed with shaky relief and entered her slowly.

“Shane,” Kate said in a breathless voice.

The sound of his name on her lips thrilled him. Shane knew the response she expected from him and happily complied. He entered her slowly, savoring every inch. As he moved rhythmically inside her, Kate’s hot breath caressed his neck. A sweet tension built between them.

Kate grasped Shane, forcing him deeper into herself. Soon his arousal was heightened to a peak, the heat nearly unbearable. Then he felt Kate’s climax, and together, they rode a wave of passionate pleasure.

Several minutes passed before he could speak. “Ye are beautiful, lass. How did I live this long without ye?” Shane whispered to her, supporting himself on his elbows.

Kate began to cry softly.

“My love, did I hurt ye?” Shane questioned, quickly concerned.

“Oh, no! Not at all.” Her fingers splayed across his heart as a brand. “I am so completely happy. I cannot find the words.

Shane smiled down at her and kissed the tears from her cheeks. Then he whispered her name, making it sound like a prayer.

Shane’s pride swelled with the progress his clan was making. As the days of hard work went by, he and Kate retired to her room during the nights to make slow passionate love. There in the dark, they explored their bodies and each other’s souls. They whispered long into the night sharing secrets and dreams.

Too soon it was time for Shane to leave for the MacDougall and MacDonald clans. He had discussed his leaving with Kate. They talked about it nearly every night. Neither wanted to be apart from the other for any length of time but they knew the Clan MacGregor needed support.

He had not mentioned to Kate the possible necessity of marriage to the MacDonald’s daughter. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words. He knew if he had to marry the girl it would not be for love but alliance. It need not interfere with his relationship with Kate he had rationalized to himself. Yet if he truly believed that, why wouldn’t he tell her?

“Katie, lass, I
canna
leave ye but I canna have ye on the road with me either. Too many chances I’m not willing to take with my love,” Shane said in the morning. His leaving was heavy on his mind.

“I’ll be fine right here. I don’t want you to go, but I do understand.” Kate kissed Shane tenderly. “There is plenty for me to do around here.” She placed her hand on his face. “Seamus still needs me, although he is recovering brilliantly. And my gardens need a bit of tending. We each have chores to accomplish.”

Kate paused, then said, “Let’s not speak of it. You are here with me now and I don’t want to ruin our time by discussing sad things. Besides, you will be gone and back before we know it,” Kate added. “Imagine the reunion.”

Some days later, Shane and Kate woke up to rain for the third day in a row.

“Good we got the fields planted. We will need to be draining the water off the sodden fields, though,” Shane said as he rose and dressed for the day. He watched his love as she stretched like a cat. She curled up into his arms, purring as he lay once again across the bed. Shane laughed as he wrapped his arms around his wee kitten.

“It is too cold.” Kate snuggled into the quilt around her. “Stir the fire, will you?”

Shane went to the hearth and stirred the embers, adding wood. Soon the fire blazed.

Kate rose, put on her robe, then walked over to the water basin to wash her face and hands. Shane looked on admiringly.

“Truly beautiful.” He began to walk over to her.

Kate held her hand up and smiled. “Oh, no, m’lord. You stay right over there. I’ll never be out of bed if you don’t. I promised Merta I would help her this morning. So, off you go so I can dress.” Kate let out a long, happy sigh and continued to wash.

“That’ll do, Katie, lass, that’ll do,” she whispered to herself, imitating Shane’s brogue.

Shane chuckled and made his way to the door. Just as he reached for the latch, he turned back.

“Until tonight, my love.” He winked and was gone.

Shane spent his day draining the fields with his men. His thoughts were troubled. He hadn’t told Kate of the possible marriage to the McDonald lass. Kate trusted him. He knew her secrets and she, his. Except for the one that really mattered.

Shane wanted her to feel safe in his arms, he wanted her trust, her desire, and more than anything he wanted her in his life. This was new territory for him. He had never felt this need to protect a woman. Never felt this desire for possession. Could he let her go if it came to her leaving? She would leave, he had no doubt. What if she carried his child?

No, Kate was a part of his life now. A part he wouldn’t give up. Kate was
his
. Now he needed to make sure she knew it.

Chapter 21

“I’ve decided to leave Henry behind. I enjoy his jester humor but . . .” Shane said as he and his men prepared for their journey west.

“Ye need men ye can count on. Ye canna count on Henry.” Iain slipped a sword into the sheath on his saddle. “I dinna dislike him, he’s too eager to please and he dinna think before he acts. ‘Tis a bad combination.”

“He is rash and foolhardy. Henry is a liability I canna afford.” Shane tightened the cinch under his horse’s belly.

In their conferences to formulate plans, Shane and Iain decided, with Seamus’ help, to visit the MacDougall clan first. The ride was closer and easier as they would pass through a thin part of Campbell land. Within an hour they would be on MacDougall land. Shane hoped to obtain a few more men for the more hazardous trip to the MacDonald clan.

Shane had said farewell to Kate earlier in the privacy of her room. He’d thought about saying something to Kate about the MacDonald daughter then but still could not bring himself to it.

Shane put his foot into the stirrup and threw his leg over the destrier’s back. The beast danced back and forth until Shane set the reins, bringing him to a halt in front of Kate. She reached her hand toward him for one last touch. He looked down at Kate, into her eyes, and took a hold of her hand. He squeezed it briefly.

“Beautiful.”

He gave her a wink and a smile, and rode out of the courtyard with his men following.

The clan watched the men until they were out of sight and then one by one returned to their work. Kate stayed at the gate a little while longer, hugging herself against the morning chill, watching as the dust the riders had stirred up settled back to its place on the earth.

Smithers approached his mistress, placing his hand gently on her shoulder.

Kate turned and gave him a forlorn smile.

“I shall miss him.”

“Yes, I know you will, m’lady. He will not be gone long. Though, we’ve not had much occasion to discuss the situation we have found ourselves in and I feel we must. Let us take advantage of our opportunity.
However,
we may be overheard. Would you be agreeable to meeting with me this afternoon?”

“Yes, I would like to talk to you about all of this,” Kate said, her hands gestured above her head indicating the remarkable state of her affairs. “There is much to say.”

“Good,” Smithers said with a quick nod. “Until then.”

Smithers knew Kate and Shane were in love, as did everyone else in the clan. All one had to do was watch them as they gazed into each other’s eyes. The relationship seemed fine with the people of the clan. He noted they all had come to know and like Lady Colquhoun.

None of that mattered to him, however. He cared about Kate as a father would a daughter. He watched as love grew between Shane and Kate. He would take her out of this place at the first sign of manipulation or hurt. To his knowledge, neither had occurred.

He wanted a bit of time with her as well. Their lives had been turned upside down in the last few months and he missed, what he had come to think of her as, no matter how old she was, his little girl.

“Ye faring well, priest?”

“Yes, Seamus, I am well.”

Smithers' life as a monk at the castle had been interesting. Since he arrived as a man of the cloth with the minstrels, he’d had to remain as such. The group he traveled with had long since moved on. He, as luck would have it, had been asked to stay on by Seamus, as the clan did not have a priest. The last priest had been killed in the same raid Seamus had been injured in. With no choice but to comply, Smithers took on the duties of priest. How else would he explain his continued presence and his desire to stay?

“I have explained to you, I am not a priest but a simple monk.”

“Aye, ye are close and ‘tis good for us.”

Smithers rolled his eyes heavenward as he made his way to the chapel.

“Priest.”

Smithers stopped.

“’Tis plain my son is in love with our sweet, shy Kate. ‘Tis obvious the feelings Kate has for Shane. Gone is the quiet, lonely lass. She has blossomed seemly overnight. She has gained a bit of weight. There is now color in her cheeks. She is lovely.”

“Yes, I see that, too.”

“She tends my wounds, though they’re mostly healed. Only now, when she comes to my room, her smile fills the room with light. Her laughter comes often.”

He watched Kate as she waited outside the gate, staring down the road his son had traveled.

“I saw ye speaking with her. I pray she finds solace.”

Seamus hastened away before Smithers could question his meaning.