Deception (5 page)

I left the
nursery and took two steps towards the master bedroom before a little imp made
me change direction. I'd be damned if I was going to him like a lamb to the
slaughter, if he wanted me in there he'd have to drag me kicking and screaming.

"And here I
thought you were such a quick learner." I felt his hand on my nape as he
turned me around and headed back in the opposite direction. Where the hell had
he come from?

"Don't do
this Colin."

"You had
your chance, you made your choice." He marched me into the room.

"Strip."

Colin

What am I doing?
Could I really do this? What have I become? What had I allowed her to do to me?
I'd become a complete stranger, how much of one I didn't know until this
moment. The moment where I was about to rape the mother of my son. Fuck. This
couldn't be me I wouldn't let it be me, I'll have to exact my vengeance some
other way, but it wouldn't be by forcing a nineteen year old girl to my bed no
matter what she'd done, and no matter how much I still wanted her.

I threw one of
my old college t-shirts at her and climbed in on my side of the bed. She'd
spent five nights in this room, not this bed though, I'd gotten rid of that
one, couldn't stand to look at it after she left knowing we'd never share what
we had there again. Besides her scent had been embedded in the damn thing and
was driving me crazy.

She was still
standing where I left her with my shirt in her hand a confused look on her
face. Good that made two of us because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
anymore. Why I couldn't bring myself to hurt her the way she'd hurt me.

"Put on the
shirt and get in the bed before I change my mind. She hurried towards the walk
in closet for privacy while she changed. I turned my back and settled down for
a long night.

"If you
have any ideas about making a run for it in the middle of the night, first you
wouldn't get past the gate, second there're guard dogs roaming around out there
who're trained to kill on sight. And if by chance you should get by either of
those things I will find you and God help you then." I laid my head down
with my back to her as she climbed in as far away from me on the king sized bed
as she could. Just to be perverse I taunted her. I had changed my mind yes, but
she didn't know that.

"I can't
fuck you from all the way over there."

"But you
said..."

"I said
what...Come here." She took too long so I dragged her across the space by
her arm. She was stiff as a board and for some insane reason that made me want
to laugh. Why? when she was being so disobedient was beyond me. Maybe I had
become a truly perverse person.

"Relax
you'll enjoy it more" I nuzzled her neck just for effect. Big mistake. I
was hard as a fucking pike and she stiffened even more if that were possible. I
pulled her fully into me half covering her body with mine. I didn't really
intend on sleeping like that just long enough to put fear in her and then I'd
turn away and get some sleep, but somehow I found my body relaxing in a way it
hadn't in a long time, not since the night before she left.

Eventually her
body relaxed and I think she dozed off, I wasn't too far behind her.

Something woke
me in the night, what the hell was that? I couldn't place the sound. I'd been
enjoying the best sleep I'd had in forever that much I knew. The sound came
again and the heavy weight on my arm helped to farther clear my head. The baby
was awake.

I looked at her
to see if she'd awaken and go to him but she didn't even stir, probably hadn't
slept a wink since our son was born.

I went and got
him up after checking the clock it was three in the morning. He'd slept for a
good little while.

"Hey buddy,
it's your dad, you're probably hungry huh." I changed his diaper and
walked back to the room, climbing onto the bed, I tried to lift her shirt
without waking her so he could get to his food without disturbing her, at least
he wasn't crying anymore.

"Colin I
love you."

I was stopped
cold was she shitting me? Who was she trying to kid? I started to berate her
until I realized she was asleep. What the fuck was that? No, no, no, no, no.
She wasn't doing this to me again, I'd gone back on the fucking her into
submission bit but I'd be damned if I was going to fall into her trap again.
But why would she say that while she was asleep? When all her defenses were
down, I couldn't think about that now I had to get my son fed. I didn't want to
think about it, too many implications.

I woke her none
too gently by shaking her.

"Wake up
Amber, the baby's hungry." I had to start calling my son by his name, but
I hated Junior and I despised Collie, and he was way too cute for Col. His
mother calls him Anthony, I was thinking Colin Anthony but that might be a
mouthful.

She finally
roused enough to take him. She moved like an automaton, lifting the shirt and
attaching him in one smooth motion, like she'd had lots of practice instead of
just the last few weeks. She still didn't seem to be fully awake as she hummed
some lullaby to Anthony.

I watched them
together, some foreign emotion choking me, she was so fucking perfect, why was
she so perfect and how? I didn't understand any of this, she keeps asking me to
listen but I'm afraid to and I don't fucking know why. What was I afraid of?
What could she possibly say? I had the evidence didn't I? The proof of her
crimes against me; Fuck I hate being uncertain of anything.

When the baby
was done I took him and burped him on the way back to his room. His mother was
asleep again before we left the room. I came back and drew her back into my
arms, this time not so forcefully because I'm a sap. I could feel my heart
softening again and prayed to God this time I'd escape unscathed and with my
sanity intact. She smelt sweetly of mother's milk and peaches, damn I was hard
again, first time in ten damn months and it had to be her. Colin I love you. I
think I'm going to hear that just the way she'd said it for the rest of my
life. I subconsciously played with her hair the way I once use to before
falling off to sleep.

Amber

I was between
sleep and wake, that time when you're not quite dreaming but the remnants are
there. I felt better than I had in a long time. There was a hard chest under my
cheek. I smiled and hugged myself closer to the warmth. Colin, my Colin of
course, we were back in Greece. I guess I wasn't quite awake yet the dream
seemed so real. It was the best one yet I could actually smell him. I clung to
the dream a little longer knowing I'd have to awaken soon, back to reality. I
rubbed against my dream Colin like a cat in heat, full body contact.

"Hmmm,
Colin how I wish you were really here."

"I
am."

I almost fell
off the bed I pulled away so hard. Oh my, what had I done? My cheeks were
scarlet I'd never been so embarrassed in my life.

"I'm...um
what...?" What was there to say? How much of my dream did I play out in that
bed? And what the hell did I say? Colin was...laughing huh, I didn't think he
remembered how. At least I hadn't seen him so much as crack a smile all
yesterday. Now when we met, that was another story, we laughed together all the
time that was one of the reasons we’d worked so well together. We both loved
having fun with each other.

It wasn't one of
those laughs where the person was laughing at you, no this was his carefree I'm
happy to be alive from the gut laugh. Thank heavens my son came to my rescue,
we could hear him working up steam on the monitor.

"I'll just
go get the baby." I said it altogether like it was one word before high
tailing it out of there. Whew, catastrophe somewhat abated. I can't sleep next
to him again, no matter what there was no way; who knew what I'd wake up doing
next time?

I fed and
changed Anthony who promptly fell back asleep, which was good because I needed
to put some clothes on. I didn't have much in the way of clothing since I'd
only been given ten minutes to prepare and I'd concentrated more on the baby
than myself. I chose a pair of low hanging jeans thank goodness I'd lost the
baby weight, not to mention a few extra pounds that I probably shouldn't have.
I topped it off with a blue short sleeved button up, since nursing my son
fashion had taken a back seat to comfort and easy access. I didn't mind though,
I'd never been into that stuff anyway. Colin's sister Terry had tried in the
little time I'd known her to drag me off shopping every chance she got. Terry,
I wondered how she'd react to me being here.

Colin was up and
in the kitchen when I finally found the courage to leave my room.

"Coffee's
ready, help yourself."

I looked at him
askance, my cheeks already ablaze. He seemed...different somehow, softer, I
don't know maybe it was my imagination. Good maybe he was in a better mood and
I could finally ask him some questions.

"Thank
you." I made a beeline for the coffee pot keeping my back to him as much
as possible hoping he didn't bring up this morning's fiasco. I could feel his
eyes on me and I grew warm, heat rising to my ears.

When I finally
turned around he was watching me over the newspaper, his eyes stopped on my
breasts. Now Colin is a breast man and where mine had been okay before, they
were spectacular now if I do say so myself. One of the bennies of pregnancy,
one of the only ones except for the baby of course; I wanted to cross my arms
but thought better of it.

"I have
some papers for you to sign whenever you're ready."

And just like
that my guard was up again I knew this morning was an anomaly.

"I'm
serious about Anthony having my family name, a lot comes with that name, in
case anything should happen to me I want to make sure my son's taken care
of."

"But..."

"This isn't
up for discussion Amber."

He went back to
reading his paper did he want me to throw the coffee cup at him?

"But I'm
not sure that I want..."

"Listen
Amber whatever's between us has nothing to do with my son, I wasn't there when
he was born, that was your choice, you will not stop me from taking care of him
from now on."

At least there
wasn't any of yesterday's venom in his words, and I did want Anthony to be
taken care of, heaven knows Colin could do that way better than I financially.
My funds were almost depleted, but what if he used this to take him away from
me? Get real Amber giving him his name doesn't automatically make you, his
mother null and void. My heart was still beating like a runaway train however;
this was a big step.

"Okay."

He finally
lowered his paper and looked at me fully.

"Wow that
was easy, I thought I'd have to fight you for at least the better part of the
morning."

Was he being
playful? What the hell did I do in that bed anyway? He got up from the table
and went to an attaché case on the side bar. Handing me the papers and a pen,
he regained his seat.

I read them
carefully I wasn't sure that this new Colin as different as he was this
morning, wouldn't try to trick me into signing over the rights to my son. They
looked on the up and up so I signed before returning them to him.

He stared at my
signature for the longest time, his brow puckered. When he finally looked at me
he looked all kinds of confused.

"Are you
ambidextrous?"

What the hell!

"Uh, not
that I know of." Now I was the one confused.

He placed the
fingers of one hand over his mouth while crossing the other over his chest. I
remembered this was his thinking look. He seemed overly interested in my
signature, what did he think I had written a fake name? That was easily proven
since my signature was very legible, I could never get the hang of the slash
and slant method some used.

He looked at me
again like he wasn't sure about something. Without another word he left the
room with the papers in hand.

"Well good
morning to you too sunshine."

"I heard
that." I almost spit coffee all over myself. I decided to play it safe by
keeping quiet and seeing about breakfast.

Colin

This isn't the
signature I had become so familiar with, what the hell was really going on here
anyway? Was I losing my mind? Nothing was adding the fuck up, I hate when that
happens.

I picked up the
phone and made a phone call.

"How'd
things go yesterday sir, was it what we expected?"

"Yes Kurt
it was just as you said, now I need something else from you."

"Name it
boss."

"Same
subject, only I need you to go back almost a year ago, anything you can find
but focus especially around the time we were here."

"I'll get
right on it sir."

"I
appreciate it Kurt thank you." I hung up the phone my mind in total chaos,
it was going in too many directions and I didn't like any of them. I hurried
back to the kitchen because let's face it I couldn't stay away from her.