Defector (20 page)

“She doesn’t want to return to the FEA?”

He stared out of the window for a moment. “No one does once they meet our dad. He’s charismatic. People realize that Abel’s Army is the better choice.”

“What about her family? I went to their home. Well, you probably know that since you followed me in the car.”

“Holly was worried that the FEA would target them to get to her. She was worried that one of her siblings would turn out to be a Variant and that the FEA would find out. She wanted them safe, so we relocated them. They’re perfectly safe.”

“What did you tell them? Why would they leave their home and everything behind? Why did it look like there had been a struggle?”

“We discussed it with Holly, and she knew they’d never be safe as long as they were in contact with her. We moved them out very quickly. We gave them new identities and a new house and new jobs, far away from the FEA’s reach. Trust me, they’re happier than before.”

“You changed their memories, didn’t you?”

He hesitated a heartbeat. “It was for the best, really. They’ll never find out. They can lead a normal, happy life without worrying about their daughter. Plus, their new circumstances are much more comfortable than before.”

I sucked in a breath. “You removed Holly from their memories.”

“She wanted us to,” he said quietly. “If there’s ever a time of peace, she can return to her parents. We’ll give them their memories back, and everything will be fine.”

I doubted that everything would be fine that easily, almost as much as I doubted that there would ever be peace between the FEA and Abel’s Army—not as long as Major was there, and even then . . . “I can’t believe Holly gave up her family like that.”

“Sometimes we have to let go of the people we love to keep them safe,” Zach said.

I wanted to believe him, but I wasn’t so sure.

The FEA helicopters became small black dots in the distance as we left Las Vegas behind. This was it. I was pretty sure there was no going back. I had really and truly crossed the line, and Major would never forgive me for this. Even if I decided to escape with Holly and not stay with Abel, Major would treat my actions as treason. And maybe they were. Because saving Holly was only one reason for my willingness to go with Zach. More than anything, I wanted to meet my dad.

“You’re angry with me.” He touched my hands, which were balled into fists in my lap. I uncurled them and rested my fingers loosely on my thighs. “I’m not angry. It’s just a lot to take in.” I shook my head. “Why did you kidnap Holly? Was it an accident?”

Zach snorted. “That’s what happens when Dad or I don’t take matters into our own hands.” I cocked an eyebrow in silent question. “I wanted to be part of that mission. I knew I could make you see that the FEA was the wrong choice, but Dad didn’t want to risk it. He knew Major would be close by, and he feared that I would get captured. Everything would be lost if Major ever got his hands on me.

“The mission didn’t go as planned. Will sent a too-powerful shockwave and knocked out two of our own men. Then everything got out of control. They were just trying to save their own skin, and then Jago spotted a girl in black. He said he had seen her appearance flicker; she looked like FEA, and since he had only one chance, he grabbed her,” Zach continued. “Of course, we figured out pretty quickly that it wasn’t you, but we were glad that we had Holly. She’s a great addition to our group. And we knew we could kill two birds with one stone. Holly is your best friend. We were sure you would be part of a rescue mission. We actually never considered you running away from the FEA on your own.”

I wasn’t on my own
, I thought.
I was with Devon.
My heart ached when I thought of him. I’d have to go back for him someday. I couldn’t leave him in the hands of Major.

“What about Stevens?”

Zach frowned. “You mean Harold?”

I bit my lip. I didn’t even know his first name. “The agent that you kidnapped in Livingston.”

“We didn’t kidnap him.” Zach chuckled, giving me a wide grin. “He came all on his own. He wasn’t happy at the FEA. He didn’t like how he was treated and that he was forbidden from keeping his relationship with a normal woman.” He sighed.

I nodded. It was strange to think about saving someone from the FEA. The FEA had always been the epitome of good for me. But I hadn’t known any better.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the seat. The vibrations of the helicopter went right through me, and the whir of the blades called forth a headache. This was all too much for my brain to compute. Thinking about the FEA hurt. Every time a memory of the happy times I’d spent there entered my mind, I felt like my heart was ripped out. And Alec. He’d been my friend, my protector, my love, and now? What would he become? My hunter? My enemy?

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” Zach murmured. “I thought my memories were all I’d ever get.” I turned to face him and tried to memorize every inch of his face, just like he seemed to do with mine. His nose was a tad wider than mine, and the shadow of stubble showed on his chin and cheeks, but our similarities were striking.

“Do you miss our mom?”

Hurt flickered in his eyes. “Sometimes. But I can’t forget that she left. She took you, but she completely gave me up.”

And I realized then that we’d experienced the same heartbreak. Our mother had failed us both. “She wasn’t much of a mother to me either,” I whispered.

Questions clouded his eyes.

“She tried to be normal, but she couldn’t get her act together. She was drunk or stoned more days than she was not. And she had more boyfriends than I care to count. Every new guy was worse than the one before him.” I felt bad for talking about my mother like that after seeing her this last time. But it was the truth. She’d never been a caring mother. Her neglect would have broken me if I hadn’t gone to the FEA.

Zach’s face tightened. “Did they ever hurt you?”

“Apart from the occasional insult, they pretty much ignored me. The loneliness and disgust from our mother were much worse.”

“Disgust?” Zach asked. I realized he’d taken my hand in his. He cared about me. Heat pressed against my eyes.

“Because I was a Variant. When she found out I wasn’t normal, she called me a freak and told me I’d ruined her life.”

“That’s bullshit!” Zach’s face flashed with anger. “She’s a Variant too. Dad said she always hated herself for it. And that’s why she didn’t want me or him.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Zach shook his head. “It’s okay. Now we have each other.”

“I can’t wait to see our father,” I said. Zach looked out of the window, his lips tight.

“Is something wrong?”

He shook his head with what was probably meant to be a reassuring smile. “No. The last few weeks have been exhausting. You didn’t exactly make it easy for us. And Dad was getting more desperate every day. I was worried he’d do something stupid.”

Zach must have seen the confusion on my face. “The hatred between Major and our dad is like a festering ulcer. It can blind you to what’s right and wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

Zach looked like he regretted ever bringing it up in the first place. “Our uncle, our dad’s twin, has been locked up in the FEA’s high-security prison for twelve years. There hasn’t been a day that our dad hasn’t thought of him. They were really close, and now he hasn’t seen him for more than a decade. In all these years, Dad’s hatred toward the man who imprisoned his brother has only grown.” And I suspected my mother’s involvement with my father and Major only fueled the hatred.

I had an uncle in the FEA’s prison. I remembered what my mother had said about him.

“He must have done something to be thrown in jail, though, right?”

Zach’s expression twisted. “Many people who are locked up in the FEA prison haven’t done anything more than refuse to work for the FEA. They think having a Variation makes you the property of the FEA and thus the FBI.”

Major had ordered Alec to make sure I was under control at all times, so Zach’s words made sense. Every Variant was a possible weapon, and if a weapon didn’t fire for your side, you’d better lock it up. But I also realized that Zach hadn’t exactly answered my question. “But what about our uncle?”

“Look, I don’t exactly agree with everything he’s done,” Zach said slowly. “But our father loves him, and I can see how much it pains him to know his twin is locked up without ever getting a fair trial. Sometimes love for someone can make you blind.”

No one knew that better than me. Even now the memory of Alec’s gray eyes, of his laughter, still made my heart clench. But my love hadn’t blinded me so much I’d hurt others. What did our father’s love for his brother make him do? I opened my mouth to ask, but Zach sat up suddenly. “We’re here.”

I leaned over him and stared down, but there was only barren land and mountains of glowing red rock surrounding us. We headed right for one of the rocks. “I don’t see anything. Is it disguised?”

“Yeah. The entire complex is underground. The base of the mountain is actually the entrance.”

My eyes widened. It would be difficult to escape from an underground headquarters. The helicopter was steering straight toward the sharp rocks. I clawed at the seat as the red of the mountains filled the entire width of the windshield. Any moment we’d collide with the rock.

O
ur blades hit the rock wall, but they didn’t make impact. They passed right through the surface, and so did the rest of the helicopter, as if the mountain was made of smoke. After a moment of darkness, we entered a huge hangar, and I realized we were inside the mountain.

“What happened?” I asked, dumbfounded. I twisted around to look back to where we’d just come from. There was the same red, solid rock, but now we saw it from the inside.

Luthor landed the helicopter in the middle of a platform emblazoned with a red cross. Trucks, tanks, helicopters, and cars filled almost every free space of the cave. The rough red of the bare rock walls glowed like fire under halogen lamps, which were affixed to the ceiling.

Zach pointed at a guy sitting in a glass booth perched at the base of one wall, his feet resting on a desk. He waved at us, made a bubble with his chewing gum, sucked it back in, and kept on chewing. “He watches what’s going on outside from screens inside the booth. And if it’s one of us, he dissolves the solidity of the rock, and we can pass through it like smoke. Not bad, huh?”

I blinked. That was the understatement of the year. This was amazing. He opened the helicopter and jumped out, then held the door open for me. I followed after him and let my eyes wander over the equipment. There were three helicopters, bazookas, missiles, machine guns, and countless crates with tags like “ammunition” or “explosives.” It looked like they were planning for war. “You’ve got a lot of . . . stuff.”

Zach shrugged. “We need to be prepared. Keeping headquarters safe is a big responsibility that we take very seriously. Too many lives depend on it.”

Then he took my hand and led me toward an elevator embedded in the rock wall. Luthor and Jago didn’t follow us. They stayed back to take care of the helicopter, but I didn’t miss the curious glances they threw our way. If this place was anything like the FEA, people would probably talk about nothing but our family reunion for days. We stepped into the large metal-and-glass elevator. Twenty people could have fit inside, but when the doors closed, the room still seemed much too small. I leaned against the cold metal, trying to stop the palpitation in my chest. Ten buttons lined the side of the elevator.

“I’ll take you to our common area first. You can meet Holly there,” Zach said. Excitement flooded me at the thought. He pressed the button for −3, and my stomach plummeted along with the elevator. Zach didn’t seem to mind the enclosed space or the fact that we were dozens of feet below the surface. Had he grown up in this place? I couldn’t imagine a small boy running around between ammunition and tanks. There was so much we had to talk about. I couldn’t wait to find out more about him and his life.

The elevator came to a halt, and the door slid open, revealing an enormous room with an open kitchen across from us. Pans and pots hung from stainless steel hooks attached to the ceiling. A sole cook was stirring something in an enormous copper pot. It wasn’t mealtime, which probably explained why he was alone. His gaze briefly darted toward Zach and me before it returned to the six massive flat-screen TVs that lined the wall to my right. They were muted, but were showing horse racing.

Tables and chairs were scattered around. They weren’t white plastic or stainless steel, like you might expect to find in a cafeteria. It looked as if every member of Abel’s Army had taken their dining room furniture with them and put it here. There were round and square tables, some big, others small, made from wood ranging from maple to oak, and some of the chairs had old-fashioned flowery covers, while others were upholstered with trendy leather. There was even a small pink table with four matching pink chairs, which looked as if they were meant for kids. Were there children in headquarters?

I didn’t get the chance to ask Zach. A door opened at the other end of the common area, and Holly stepped through it—just as I remembered her. Red, short hair and a wide smile. She looked healthy—and happy. We started running at the same time, and I almost slipped on the smooth granite floor before we finally fell into each other’s arms. I hugged her as tightly as I could, until she made a small sound of protest. I pulled back and quickly scanned her face. She wasn’t pale, and her eyes were bright with joy. “Are you okay?” I whispered. I didn’t want Zach to overhear us, but when I glanced back to where he’d been, he was gone. Apparently, he didn’t want to supervise our reunion.

“I’m fine,” Holly said. Relief surged through me.

“Are you sure?”

She let out her bell-like laugh. “Of course I’m sure.”

“I was terrified when you were kidnapped. Did they hurt you?”

Holly led me to a dark wooden table, and we sat down. “They didn’t do anything to me—except make me realize that I was on the wrong side.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Wrong side? You mean the FEA?” It wasn’t as if I was thrilled about the FEA’s actions, but hearing Holly say it came as a shock. She didn’t know about the extent of their betrayal yet.

For a moment, anger flashed across her face. “The FEA has been holding me back. I always felt like a failure with them.
They
made me feel like less, especially Major. I’ve been with Abel’s Army for only a couple of weeks, and they’ve already helped me perfect my Variation more than the FEA ever did. I feel like everything’s possible, like I can do great things.”

I touched her hand. “That’s good,” I said tentatively. “So you want to stay
here
? You don’t want to return to the FEA?”

She tensed, her eyes hard. “I won’t ever go back to the FEA. Why?” Suddenly she sounded worried. “Do you want to?”

“I—” Before I could reply, the elevator opened with a bing, and Zach stepped out. His eyes found me, and he smiled hesitantly.

“I think he wants you to go with him. Abel’s probably waiting for you,” Holly said, rising from the chair. My expression must have dropped, because she added, “Don’t worry. We’ll see each other later.” She gave me a quick hug. I turned slowly, unwilling to leave her behind, but she was already heading toward the cook.

“So how was your reunion?” Zach asked the moment I reached him.

“It was good.” Holly looked at ease as she talked to the cook, who’d finally torn his gaze away from the TVs. This wasn’t how I’d imagined my rescue mission would end.

Zach didn’t press for more, but I could tell that he was curious. He led me into the elevator and pressed the button marked −6.

I took his hand and squeezed. It felt surreal to be able to do that after all these years, and I needed his support. His turquoise eyes scanned my face. “Are you all right?”

I squared my shoulders. “Yeah. This is just a lot to process.” I swallowed. “And I’m nervous. This is the first time I’m meeting my . . . my dad.”

“I know,” he said with a smile.

The elevator halted, and the metal doors slipped open with a soft whoosh. I took a deep breath as I followed Zach out. Except for the lack of windows, this room didn’t look like we were underground. The walls were painted a bright, clean white and the floor was covered with birch planks. I could smell vanilla and maple syrup. The room we entered was huge—at least eight hundred square feet—and square. From the looks of it, it was a living room, kitchen, and workspace at once. Several doors led to other rooms. One of them opened, and a man stepped out. He was smiling.

“Finally,” he said. “I thought the pancakes I made were going to get cold. I didn’t know what you like, but I figured everyone loves pancakes.” He was tall, with short graying brown hair and, of course, those turquoise eyes. I froze. I couldn’t move, couldn’t say anything.

“They’re made from a mix, though, and probably burned, so don’t get too excited,” Zach said, looking over his shoulder at me. There was something in his eyes I couldn’t place. Maybe excitement mixed with anxiety. We’d all been waiting for this moment. I really didn’t want it to get awkward, but I was tongue-tied and could feel my eyes tear up.

Abel raised his eyebrows. “You like pancakes, don’t you?” He talked to me like it was perfectly normal for us to be in the same room, perfectly normal for him to be offering me pancakes, like we’d been spending all our lives together, like we weren’t practically strangers. And maybe for him I wasn’t a stranger. He could remember the memories Zach had shown me, and probably many more. I only wished I could remember them too.

I gave a jerky nod. “I love pancakes.” My voice was so quiet I wasn’t sure he’d heard me. He was striding toward me, his smile warm and welcoming. There were crinkles lining the corners of his eyes. From smiling too much? I wished I’d shared more of the moments that had carved those lines into his face. I felt a lump rising into my throat.

“I’ve waited so many years for this day,” he said as he stepped in front of me. He left a few feet between us, like he was worried that coming closer might spook me. I looked up at him. Tiny worry lines appeared around his mouth. I probably looked like I was going to burst into tears any second.

“Have you?” I croaked.

He bridged the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. I relished the feel of his heartbeat against my ear. He felt warm and strong. My dad. This was how it was supposed to be, how it should have been all my life. My mother and the FEA had kept this from me. After all the years of searching for something, of feeling like there was a piece missing in me, I had all the pieces of my story. I finally felt whole. Warmth filled me up as I tightened my hold on him, and he in turn did the same. Tears squeezed out of my eyes. “Soon our whole family will be together again. The FEA has kept us apart for long enough. Once we convince your mother to join us and free my brother, everything will be well.”

I pulled back with a sad smile. “I don’t think Mom will ever agree to join us. She told me that she hated being a Variant, that all she wanted was a normal life.”

His expression darkened. “Normal life. Who’s to say what’s normal and what’s not?”

I shrugged.

“The FEA has destroyed many lives,” he said bitterly. He shook his head and gave me a bright smile. “I shouldn’t bring this day down with my feelings.”

“But you’re right,” I said quietly. Sadness overwhelmed me. “In the last two years, Major used me, made me feel like I was safe, only to break my trust. Everything I believed in was taken away.” It still hurt thinking about it. It hurt a lot. I wrapped my arms around my chest as if that could help hold me together. Zach had been picking at the pancakes that were piled up on the kitchen counter, but now he came over to us.

Abel touched my cheek tenderly. “You went through a lot. Your life until the FEA had been full of heartbreak and neglect, and then when you finally felt safe for the first time in your life, they took that away too. I hate to see you suffering. That’s too much of a burden for someone as young as you. I’ll help you. We’ll make it all better.”

I stared into his turquoise eyes, trying to determine what he meant. Zach moved closer and brought his fingertips up to my right temple. I tensed briefly, but the look in my father’s eyes banished my worries.

I could feel a tug at my memories. They flashed through my mind as Zach browsed through them like a catalog. Alec and I watching a movie, laughing, kissing. Kate telling me about Alec’s Dual Variation. Alec admitting he’d lied. Major giving me the pills. My mother having a shouting match with one of her boyfriends. The files with the notes about me. One by one, they all turned murky. The images were coming quicker, blurring in my mind. My mother’s face when I helped her shower, the brief flash of tenderness on her face.

Zach’s touch loosened for a second, but then his fingers pressed against my temple again. Alec kissing Kate. Alec telling me it was complicated. Major telling me I’d have to go to the loony bin. My memories started trickling away. I felt better already. But what would be left of me if all the horrible experiences from my past were gone? Who would I be? Alec always said that his past made him who he was. Who would I be once my past was taken away from me? I searched Zach’s eyes. I could see my own memories reflected in them as he swallowed them up. My head began throbbing, and emptiness spread in me, and with it came a bone-chilling cold.

“Hold on,” Zach said softly. “Sometimes cold is a side effect. It’ll be over soon.” My teeth started chattering, but I trusted his voice. He hadn’t betrayed me. More scenes flashed in Zach’s eyes. There was a funeral. There was the house in Livingston, and a boy with blond hair who lay in a puddle of blood. There was fog and a boy with a knife. There was a guy with gray eyes and a dragon tattoo on his shoulder. But I didn’t know who he was.

“You’ll feel better soon,” Zach whispered. Images followed his words. Memories—happy memories—snuck into the empty corners of my mind, filling them with warmth and light. There was a boy running through a sprinkler in underpants, yowling as the water hit him, and a toddler in diapers, a few feet away, sitting on the grass laughing. There was a Christmas tree with multicolored lights that bathed the room in rainbow colors. There was Dad carrying me on his arm, setting me down on the ground, handing me a present. My small fingers ripped at the wrapping paper. Zach knelt beside the baby, beside me, and unwrapped his own present. There was laughter and warmth and smiles and hope. I blinked. The memories crowded my brain, filled me with a sensation of wholeness, of belonging.

The fingertips dropped from my temples. Someone stroked my cheek. I turned my head and stared at a man with turquoise eyes. His hand cupped my head, and warmth flooded me. I leaned into the arm that held me. Slowly my vision cleared, and I focused on the face in front of me. “Tessa?” said a familiar voice. A good voice.

I smiled. “Dad?”

“I’m so glad you’re back.”

“Welcome home,” said another voice. Zach. He was smiling too.

I relaxed.

Home.

I was home.