Defender for Hire (10 page)

“I don’t!” she protested, because that, at least, was the entire truth.

He studied her silently, his eyes cold. “Randal and I are working overtime to keep you safe while we try to figure out who’s after you. You owe it to us to tell us what you know.”

“If I knew who it was, I’d tell you.” That was the truth, too.

“We’re dealing with a guy who sneaks around to do his dirty work. Someone who wants the world to see him one way, but who isn’t what he seems. A charlatan. Sound familiar?”

She almost said it didn’t, because no one in her present life was like that.

But there
was
someone from her past.

An upright citizen on the surface but as evil as they came where it counted the most.

“What are you thinking?” Seth asked. He could tell Tessa was right on the edge of telling him something—something big.

“You just described my...”

“Your husband?” Seth couldn’t imagine Tessa being in a relationship with someone who was pure on the surface and soul-deep dirty, but he’d known plenty of wonderful people who had made the mistake of believing the lies they were fed rather than the truth they experienced.

“No.” She shook her head, her eyes flashing. “My brother-in-law. I thought Andrew was one of the kindest people I’d ever known. I found out after he died that everything he claimed to be was a lie.”

“What happened?”

“I’ve already said too much.” She started to move away but he grabbed her hand, holding her in place.

“You’ve barely said anything.”

“I made a promise, Seth. I can’t break it.”

“To who?” he pressed. He had a feeling they were heading toward the truth she’d been hiding.

“I can’t say.” She pulled her hand from his. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed.”

She ran down the hall and into her room, closing the door with enough force to shake a picture on the wall.

Taryn peeked out of the kitchen.

“Lover’s quarrel?” she asked.

“Difference of opinion.”

“Same thing, isn’t it?”

“Tessa has information that could help us save her life. She doesn’t want to reveal it.”

“Why not?”

“She made a promise to someone.”

“Promises become null and void when a life is on the line. Maybe you’d better tell her that.”

She was right.

Seth knocked on Tessa’s door and waited for her to open it.

ELEVEN

I
f there’d been a fire escape outside the window, Tessa would have been tempted to use it. After she’d told Seth about the promise she’d made, about the secret she was hiding, the last thing she wanted to do was open the door.

Seth knocked again.

“Ignoring me won’t make me go away,” he said.

Too bad, because she planned to ignore him awhile longer.

She should have kept her mouth shut about Andrew. Now she was going to have to do some damage control.

“Tessa?” He wiggled the doorknob.

She’d locked it.

For once, she was ahead of her problems.

But not that far ahead. Seth probably had a key. If not, she was sure he could find a way to unlock the door if he really wanted to.

She had a feeling he’d want to.

She glanced around the room, fighting the absurd urge to hide under the bed.

The doorknob wiggled again. “You better be decent, Tessa, because I’m coming in.”

“Don’t you dare—”

The door opened, and Seth stepped into the room.

“How did you do that!” she sputtered, her heart pounding double time.

“Easy.” He glowered, his brows drawn together, his eyes flashing with irritation. “This is a safe house, Tessa. It’s not safe if we can’t get to our clients.”

“I’m not your client.”

“So you keep reminding me.”

“It’s true.” She stood her ground, not backing up as Seth approached.

“Let me make this clear, okay? While you’re here, you’re going to be treated like a client. Clients do not lock themselves in rooms to avoid questions they don’t want to answer. If they do, I open the door and keep right on asking.”

“You can keep asking, but I can’t answer your questions, so I guess we’re at an impasse,” she retorted, relieved that her voice didn’t tremble, that she sounded as angry as he seemed to be.

“That’s your choice, Tessa.” He brushed hair from her neck, his fingers skimming over the fading bruises to make a point. “The problem is that you’re in danger. Do you want to die with your secret? Or live without it? Because it seems to me, that’s what all this is coming down to,” he growled.

“I...”

“What?” He raked a hand through his hair. “Tell me, because I don’t understand how anything can be as important as your life.”

“There are plenty of things, plenty of
people
who are just as important.”

“What people?”

“The mission spent two years planning and building a church and an orphanage in Kenya. From the day we met until the day he died, that was Daniel’s life’s goal. His parents were missionaries to Kenya when he was a kid, and he wanted to go back to serve the people there.” She rubbed her arms, willing away the chill that settled deep in her bones every time she thought about Daniel and his dream.

“And?” Seth pulled the comforter from the end of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders, the gesture so sweet that her heart skipped a beat.

“I don’t want anything to happen to what he and the rest of the mission team built.”

“Here’s the thing, Tessa.” He leaned down so they were eye to eye, their foreheads nearly touching, his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t want anything to happen to
you.
”

“Seth, please, just let it go,” she whispered, her throat so tight she could barely get the words out.

“If I do, you could end up dead, and I could end up blaming myself. I’m not willing to go through that again.”

He cared, and cared deeply.

She could see it in his eyes, hear it in the gentleness of his voice

She cared, too. More than she should. She was almost willing to sacrifice everything for a chance to have what she saw in Seth’s eyes.

She looked away, her heart hammering in her chest, her eyes burning with tears, because she knew what Daniel would have done. He would have given up the dream for the sake of the truth. He would have trusted God to build what needed to be built. With or without his help.

“Jack Dempsey asked me not to say anything. He knows what happened in Kenya,” she said, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. In all the years that she’d held the truth close, she’d never considered doing anything but what Jack had asked of her. Now, she thought that maybe she should have been considering a lot of other things.

She wiped at the tears, surprised by them. Uncomfortable, because Seth was seeing them.

“Who is he?” Seth asked.

He didn’t touch her, and she was glad, because if he had, the tears might have turn to sobs, and then she might not have been able to speak at all. “The head of the mission board that sent our team to Kenya.”

“Why did he ask you to keep quiet?”

“He was afraid that bad press would stop the donations that started pouring in after the massacre. If that happened, thousands of lives would have been affected.”

“What kind of bad press?”

“He thought that someone on the mission team was responsible for the massacre. That his actions had angered the insurgents and caused them to attack us.”

“Your brother-in-law?”

“Yes.”

She walked to the window, staring out at the snow. She wanted to feel good about what she’d done, wanted to feel as if Daniel would approve.

She just felt hollow and old.

“I have to call Logan and give him the information. You know that, right?” Seth said quietly.

“Yes.” Her voice broke, and she blinked away more tears.

“It’s going to be okay, Tessa.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Sure I can.” He tugged her into his arms, pressed her head to his chest. “If God is in it, it can’t
not
be.”

“What if He’s
not
in it? What if I’ve just made a huge mistake?”

“You haven’t.” The words rumbled beneath Tessa’s ear, Seth’s heart beating steadily. He was so different from Daniel. Solid and muscular where Daniel had been narrow and lean; calm and steady where Daniel had been hyper and driven.

She had a feeling that Seth would love his wife above everything except for God. She had a feeling that when he made a commitment to someone, it would never be overshadowed by his commitment to something else.

She clutched Seth’s shirt, hating that she was comparing Daniel to him. Hating it even more that Daniel was coming up short.

She forced herself to step away, afraid that if she didn’t, she really would start sobbing. “I’m really tired, Seth. Can we talk more about this in the morning?”

“Sure.” He touched her cheek, looking deep into her eyes.

She didn’t know what he was searching for, or if he found it. She just knew that she could have stood there with him forever, could have waited a lifetime to find out what he was going to say.

Finally, he turned away without a word, left the room and closed the door.

She turned off the light and crawled into bed fully clothed, the comforter still around her shoulders, tears streaming down her cheeks again. She hadn’t cried in years. Now, she couldn’t seem to stop.

She closed her eyes, listening to the storm outside the window, wishing the sounds would drown out her memories and her fear.

She’d told Seth things that she’d never told anyone else. She couldn’t take that back, couldn’t steal back the words and hide them away again.

She wasn’t sure she’d have wanted to, even if she could.

Go. Don’t look back.

Those were the last words Daniel had spoken to her. She’d never forgotten them. They’d followed her for five years, and she thought they’d probably follow her for the rest of her life.

She’d always believed that he’d been telling her to leave the village, urging her to go in case the insurgents returned.

But he hadn’t seemed frantic. Even near death, he’d been at peace, concerned for her rather than for himself.

Maybe he’d known how difficult it would be for her to move on. Maybe he’d realized how much she’d struggle. Maybe he’d wanted his final words to be ones that would send her into the future without regrets.

If that were the case, she’d really messed things up. Instead of heading into the future, she’d clung to the past, keeping a secret that had tied her to all the things that she most needed to let go of.

A soft sobbed escaped, and she pressed her face to the pillow, muffling the sound until she finally fell asleep.

TWELVE

T
he sun rose sharp and bright outside the apartment building, its golden glow gleaming on the dark hardwood floor and drilling into Seth’s eyes.

He wasn’t happy about it. It had been a long night, and after four hours of sleep, he wasn’t quite ready to be awake.

He grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured coffee into it, gulping down a mouthful that scalded the back of his throat.

“You should have waited for it to cool,” Taryn said dryly, her fingers tapping restlessly on the kitchen countertop.

“I need my brain cells functioning. Caffeine is the quickest way to make that happen.”

“You could have had the green-tea smoothie I offered you. Are you sure you don’t want me to make you one?” She took a sip of hers, shuddering slightly.

“Seeing as how you’re nearly gagging that down, I think I’ll pass. ”

“It’s not that bad.” She took another sip, set the glass down. “Then again, maybe coffee wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Told you.” He laughed, glancing at the stove clock, then down the hall to Tessa’s closed door. They had a lot to discuss—even more than he’d imagined when he’d left her room last night. “Think she plans on getting up anytime soon?”

Taryn shrugged, her braided hair bouncing. “Why don’t you go knock on the door and ask?”

“I don’t want to wake her.”

“Sure you do,” she said with a smirk.

She was right. He did. He just wasn’t sure he
should.

He scowled into his coffee cup, his shoulder aching dully. Payback for the lift down the stairs that he’d given Tessa.

“So, does she usually sleep until—” Taryn glanced at the clock “—nine?”

“I don’t know.”

“So go find out. Knock on the door. Ask if she’s awake. You know, do normal, everyday things that normal people do, because I have a hair appointment at ten, and I’m not planning to miss it.”

“You can go.”

“You two need to be out before I leave. That’s the rule.”

“Sometimes rules are meant to be broken,” he griped.

“Obviously, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Taryn took another sip of her smoothie and frowned at the glass. “Tastes like grass.”

“I’m sure it does.”

“As soon you leave, I can dump it out and get some OJ.”

“Why wait?”

“Because I don’t want a witness to my crime. Go!” She shooed him out of the kitchen, and he went, because it was past time to knock on Tessa’s door. Make sure she was okay. Tell her what he’d learned from Logan.

He rapped on her door, shifting his weight impatiently.

“Hold on!” Tessa called, her voice muffled and faint.

An image flashed through his head—Tessa, pink-cheeked from sleep, her eyes hazy with dreams.

The door opened and she appeared, eyes red-rimmed, damp hair pulled back, skin pale. The scent of flowers and berries drifted around her, the aroma as compelling as sunlight on a winter morning. He wanted to touch her silky cheek, feel the warmth of her skin beneath his hand.

Take her in his arms again, hold her like he had last night. Having her in his arms had felt like coming home—comfortable and comforting with just an edge of something fantastic and new. He wouldn’t have minded experiencing that again, and it took everything he had not to reach for her.

* * *

Tessa felt electricity in the air and instinctively took a step back, her cheeks flushed.

“Sorry for the wait. I thought a shower would wash some of the fog from my brain,” she explained even though he hadn’t asked. She felt nervous, edgy, anxious. She wanted to say that lack of sleep had caused it, but she knew better.

Seth was the reason.

His eyes. His voice.
Him.

“Did it?” he asked, his voice husky.

“No. I think I need a few more hours of sleep for that. Or a cup of coffee.” Tessa sidled past, careful not to brush against him.

She’d learned a hard lesson from Andrew about people not being what they said they were, and trust didn’t come easily for her. But even after a long night of trying to convince herself that Seth wasn’t what he seemed, she still wanted to trust him.

She
did
trust him.

Because nothing could change the facts. Everything he’d done, everything he’d said, had been a reflection of his heart.

And his heart was pretty amazing.

She caught a whiff of coffee and aftershave as they walked down the hall, and it reminded her of long lazy mornings and conversations across the breakfast table. A million butterflies took flight in her stomach, and she had to force herself not to turn and reach for him.

She hurried the rest of the way into the kitchen, stopping a few feet away from Taryn.

“What’s the rush?” Taryn looked up from the computer screen and frowned.

“I need coffee.” And distance from Seth. A continent’s worth of distance might be appropriate. She opened a cupboard, searching for a coffee cup, her hands shaking for reasons she didn’t want to name.

“In here.” Seth reached above her and handed her a white mug, their fingers brushing.

“Thanks,” she said, pouring coffee, searching the refrigerator for cream, doing everything she could think of to put off meeting Seth’s eyes.

She’d been in his arms, her head pressed to his chest, his heart beating beneath her ear. And, she wouldn’t have minded being there again.

And again and again.

That scared her. A lot.

“This place has been dead quiet all night,” Taryn said, cutting through the tension. “I don’t know about the two of you, but I’m about ready to get out of here.”

“I feel the same. It’ll be good to get home,” Tessa responded as she halfheartedly stirred her coffee.

“I’m not sure home is the best place for you,” Seth said.

“I can’t think of any place that would be better. Besides, Bentley is coming home from the vet today. He’s a good deterrent.” She looked up from her coffee, steeling herself as she met Seth’s eyes. They were dark blue and rimmed with shadows, his face scruffy with a five-o’clock shadow. “Did you call Logan last night?”

“I did.” He refilled his coffee, took a sip and didn’t say another word.

“And?” she prodded.

“We can discuss it now—” he glanced at Taryn “—or, we can discuss it on the way to the vet. It’s up to you.”

He was worried about sharing private information in front of Taryn.

Of course he was.

His heart, again. And she just couldn’t seem to resist it.

Or him.

“We can discuss it on the way to the vet,” she replied, dropping her gaze and making a production out of looking at her watch. “I was supposed to be at Amy’s early, but I guess I’ve missed the boat on that.”

“If you’re ready, we can go now.” Seth placed his mug in the sink.

“I’m ready.” She took a last long sip of coffee and did the same, her arm brushing against his.

He stilled, his gaze dropping to her lips. The kitchen fading away. Everything faded away but Seth.

Heat shot up her cheeks, her heart thrumming crazily.

She had to get Seth out of her life.

Or throw herself into his arms.

One or the other, and she wasn’t sure which she wanted more.

“Can you two stop staring into each other’s eyes and get this show on the road?” Taryn said dryly. “If I don’t get my hair straightened today, it’s going to be like sheep’s wool by tomorrow.”

Her voice was the splash of ice water Tessa needed to tear her gaze away from Seth’s.

“I’ll get my bag,” she muttered and ran into the bedroom to grab it. The sooner they left, the sooner she could hear what Logan had said about Jack.

It had been years since Tessa had had any contact with the mission board director. She’d always assumed that he’d kept track of her, though. To be honest, she’d always thought that he was the person behind the roses.

A reminder of the secret they’d shared.

She pressed her lips together and kept silent as Seth and Taryn escorted her to the truck. The storm had broken hours ago, but the air was bitter and cold, the bright sun adding little warmth.

Tessa shivered as Seth helped her into the truck.

He pulled off his coat, tucking it around her.

“Now you’re going to be cold,” she chided.

“I’ll live.” He shut her in, rounded the truck and spoke quietly to Taryn for a minute before he slid into the driver’s seat. “All right. We’re set. Let’s go pick up your mutt. Which direction are we heading?”

“West on I-90, and Bentley is not a mutt.”

“Then what is he?”

“A cherished member of the family.”

“I hope that your cherished family member can fit in the backseat, because I don’t think there’s going to be room for him up here.”

“He’ll fit.”

“Without chewing the leather?”

“He doesn’t chew anything but dog food,” she responded. But she wasn’t concerned with how well Bentley would fit in the truck. She was worried about what Logan had said about Jack. “You said that you spoke to Logan?” she prodded.

“I called him last night. He called me back this morning. They tracked down Jack Dempsey.” He glanced her way, his eyes dark with something she wasn’t sure she wanted to know about.

“Where is he?”

“Dead.”

She flinched at his words, pulling his coat tighter around her shoulders, wrapping herself in his warmth and scent. “When did he die?”

“Last year. He was shot during what police believed was a botched robbery attempt at his home in Houston.”

“They
believed
it was a botched robbery attempt?”

“There’s some new evidence, and they may reopen the case.”

“What kind of evidence?”

“Jack was murdered on the fourth anniversary of the massacre.”

She went cold at his words, her heart skipping a beat. “Are you sure?”

“I’m afraid so. I’m sorry, Tess.”

“Me, too,” she said.

Seth touched her hand, his finger brushing across her knuckles so lightly she should have barely felt the contact. Instead, it warmed her like liquid fire, made her want to lay her head on his shoulder, close her eyes, let him take care of everything.

Such a silly thought.

“Tessa, tell me what happened with your brother-in-law,” he said quietly.

She didn’t want to talk about Andrew, hated to even think about what he’d done, but what choice did he have?

Jack was dead. There was no way that his death—on the anniversary of the massacre—was a coincidence. Had he been killed because of what he knew? Was it possible that someone had survived the massacre and come to the States seeking revenge? A villager? A teenager who was now an adult? Someone who blamed the mission group for the tragedy that Andrew had brought down on the village?

“Logan and I agreed that anything you tell us will be kept in confidence.” Seth broke into her thoughts. “He’ll keep the investigation as quiet as he can, but it’s time, Tessa. We have to know what your brother-in-law did.”

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. “After the massacre, I found out that he’d embezzled funds from the mission and hired children from a school we were running to mine diamonds. He paid their families to keep quiet. When he died, he had a million dollars in a Kenyan bank.”

“That’s a terrible crime, Tessa, but it isn’t something that the mission board would be held responsible for.”

“There’s more. The insurgents who attacked the village were retaliating. Andrew’s crew was working in diamond mines that belonged to them. Because of his greed, twenty innocent people were killed or wounded.”

Seth whistled softly.

“Exactly,” she murmured, staring out the side window, her eyes hot and dry. Seth took her hand, twining his fingers through hers. “It’s not your fault.”

“Then why does it feel like it is?”

“Because you think there must have been some sign you missed, some way for you to know who Andrew really was. You think that if you’d seen it, you could have prevented everything that happened.”

He was right. She’d spent five years thinking she could have prevented the massacre. Five years believing that if she’d just been smart enough, no one would have died. Not even Daniel.

“Maybe I could have,” she whispered, and Seth squeezed her hand, his thumb running across her wrist.

“Nothing you could have done would have changed anything, Tess. It’s time to believe that and move on.”

He was right about that, too, but she couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat, couldn’t tell him how much lighter she felt.

Sharing the burden she’d carried had freed something inside her, loosened the chains that had held her to the past, given her a chance to have what she’d wanted all along—a fresh start, a new beginning.

A life lived out from under the long shadow of Andrew’s crime.

She wanted it so badly that her heart raced with the thought, her muscles tense and stiff with it.

“You okay?” Seth asked, and she nodded, because her throat was still too tight to speak, and because nothing she could say would compare to what she felt. Hope. Faith. Trust. All of it rolled into a ball of longing that lodged in her throat and stayed there as they made their way toward Amy’s veterinary clinic.