Defender for Hire (13 page)

“Do you know who it was?”

“I didn’t while I was in Kenya, but Jack told me afterward that it was Anna.”

Logan nodded, jotting notes in a small notepad. “Okay. That’s a good start. I’m going to head to the office and make a few calls. Maybe someone from the mission board can clarify a few things for me. If you think of anything else that might be helpful, give me a call.”

“I will. Thanks.” Tessa followed Logan down the hall, holding the door open as he stepped into the late-morning sunlight.

Seth moved up behind her, his hands sliding around her waist and settling on her abdomen. “I need to leave, too. I have some paperwork to catch up on at the office,” he said, his breath ruffling her hair and tickling her ear. “Will you be okay with just the patrol car out front?”

She nodded, but she didn’t feel like she would be.

She felt as if she would fall apart if he let go of her, felt as if his arms were the only thing that stood between her and danger.

“Are you sure?” He nudged her around and looked into her eyes.

“I’ve been okay on my own for a long time. I think I can manage.” She tried to keep her tone light, tried to smile. The last thing she wanted was for him to spend his entire day worrying about her.

“Stay inside. Okay? No walking with Bentley. No answering the door unless you know exactly who it is. Don’t go to work, to the grocery store or out on a drive, either.”

“Anything else?” she asked wryly, but she was touched by his concern.

“Yes,” he responded.

And then he leaned down and kissed her as if he meant it forever.

FIFTEEN

B
y four in the afternoon, Tessa was bored to tears.

Without work to take her mind off her troubles, and without a nice long run to perk her up, she felt draggy and morose.

She also felt like calling Seth. Just to check in, to see how his day was going.

To hear his voice.

She frowned. She should be more interested in calling Logan and finding out if he’d found evidence that his theory was correct and that Andrew was alive.

Just the thought made her shudder.

She’d spent five years believing that Andrew had paid the ultimate price for his crime. That had made keeping the secret more palatable.

But if he were alive, if he’d actually faked his death, then she’d been a fool.

She walked into her room, lifting the framed photo that she kept on her dresser. It was the only one she left out. She and Daniel on their wedding day. No sign of what would come. No huts or Kenyan villagers. Just the two of them standing in front of the little church they’d been married in.

She took it from the frame, running her finger along a fold she’d made years ago and pulling it open. Andrew was to the left of Daniel, smiling into the camera.

She’d almost cut him out of the photo when she’d returned home from Kenya, but she hadn’t had the heart. She’d still wanted to believe that he’d made a mistake, that he’d been greedy and thoughtless but without malice.

She was beginning to think that she’d been wrong.

She pulled her cell phone from the back pocket of her jeans and dialed Logan’s number, leaving a voice mail message when he didn’t pick up.

Outside, daylight was already fading, gray-blue dusk shadowing the landscape. A patrol car sat at the curb in front of the house. Tessa could see another at the corner of the street.

She should have felt safe.

She didn’t.

She pulled the curtains closed, left the light on in her room, told herself twenty times that she shouldn’t call Seth. He’d done enough for her. Too much, really. Sure, they’d shared a couple of kisses, but that didn’t mean she should call him every time she wanted someone to talk to.

“Cookies are the answer,” she announced to Bentley, and he opened an eye from his position near the fireplace, his tail thumping once on the floor. “You agree, right?”

He moaned, his eyes drifting closed.

So much for company while she baked.

She measured ingredients, following a recipe for white chocolate macadamia cookies that she’d learned during one of her foster placements. The wind picked up as she creamed butter and sugar together, the soft howl beneath the eaves sinister. She ignored it. She was jumpy. That was all. Too much talk about Kenya and the massacre.

And about Daniel and Andrew.

The only family she’d ever had.

That was why she hadn’t wanted to believe the depth of Andrew’s depravity. She sighed as she took out the finished cookies and slid the next pan in. The house smelled like sugar and vanilla, and her stomach rumbled. She ate a hot cookie, shaking her head as Bentley meandered into the room and sniffed the ground.

“Sorry, boy, I didn’t even drop a crumb.”

She reached for a second cookie as Bentley lifted his head and barked once, limping toward the front door.

Seconds later the doorbell rang.

Tessa hurried to the door, cookie in hand.

She glanced out the peephole, her heart doing a funny little jig as she looked into Seth’s handsome face. “Hold on.”

She unlocked the door and fumbled with the bolt, finally managing to slide it open.

“Hi,” she said as she pulled the door open and stepped back to let him in.

Cool air swept in with him, carrying the fresh scent of the rain that had just begun to fall. She inhaled it, her heart racing as he closed the door.

He’d changed into black slacks and a button-down blue shirt, his black coat open to reveal his gun holster. One hand in his coat pocket, the other wrapped around a brown paper bag, he looked tough and unapproachable, but his smile left her breathless.

“Hi yourself. I finished my work early and thought that I’d stop by,” he responded, his gaze dropping to the cookie she held. “You were baking.”

“Yes. White chocolate macadamia.”

“One of my favorites.”

“Want one? I have a couple dozen that I shouldn’t eat.”

“Shouldn’t or won’t?” He took the cookie from her hand and bit into it, grinning when she frowned.

“Shouldn’t. And that cookie was mine.”

“You said you had a couple of dozen more. I figured you could spare this one.” He finished it off, brushing crumbs from his coat. “Besides, I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

“I can make you something,” she offered

“That would be nice,” he said softly. “But I brought something for us to share.” He held up brown paper bag.

Tessa caught a whiff of curry and hot peppers. “Chinese?”

“Thai.”

“One of
my
favorites.”

“Glad to hear it. Piper will be, too.”

“Piper?” she asked as she led the way to the kitchen.

“My sister. It was her suggestion. She said you were a well-traveled woman and that you’d probably enjoy ethnic food.”

“You called your sister to ask what I might like to eat for dinner?”

“She called me to see how my shoulder was doing. I decided to pick her brain and put her knowledge to good use.” He smiled and set the bag on the kitchen table.

Her heart responded to his smile, her senses alive with the sight and scent of Seth. He filled her kitchen, and if she let him, he’d fill her life. She could feel it happening, feel the empty place in her heart filling up with him.

“Sit down. I’ll get the plates.” She turned her back to him, standing on tiptoe and reaching for the plates on the top shelf of the cupboard.

“You’re awfully short to be keeping things on shelves this high,” Seth said mildly as he grabbed the plates for her, his chest pressing against her back.

“I’m not short, and the plates are up there because I never use them.” She sidled out from between him and the counter, because being there was not good for her state of mind. When he was that close, she couldn’t think straight.

“You don’t eat at home?”

“Not big meals. It’s not really worth my while to cook for one.” She glanced at Bentley who hovered on the threshold of the kitchen. “And a half.”

“A half? That dog is three of you.” Seth pulled cartons from the bag and opened them, the spicy aroma that drifted out making Tessa’s stomach growl.

“Thai basil chicken?” she asked as Seth spooned some onto each plate.

Seth nodded. “Another one of Piper’s suggestions.”

“Your sister is a smart lady.”

“I’ll tell her you said so when I see her.”

“You’re going for a visit?” she asked, the thought of Seth leaving town more upsetting than she wanted it to be. They weren’t attached at the hip—he could do what he wanted when he wanted.

But she’d miss him.

“She’s coming out here for Thanksgiving. My entire family is. Parents. Brothers. Sister. Spouses. Nieces and nephews. The whole shebang.”

“That sounds like fun.” She’d always loved the idea of a big family. She’d wanted at least four children, but Daniel had thought one or two would be plenty. He hadn’t wanted anything to distract from his work and had insisted they wait at least five years before they considered adding to their family.

They hadn’t made it to their fifth anniversary.

“It will be, and I was thinking—” he paused as he dug plastic utensils from the bag “—that their visit would be the perfect opportunity for all of you to meet.”

“You want me to meet your family?” She knew she sounded shocked. Because she felt shocked.

“Sure. It’s not often we’re all together. If we wait until the next time it happens, it could be a year.” Seth pulled out her chair and nudged her into it.

“Do you realize that we haven’t even been on a date, and you’re talking about me meeting your family?”

“I bought you Thai food, Tessa. Do you know how many miles I had to go to get it?”

“Seven.”

He laughed. “Yes, and do you know how tempted I was to eat it all before I got here?”

“You’re a saint, Seth, but that doesn’t mean that this is a date or that I should meet your family.”

“Maybe not, but you might as well know that I’m too old for games, and I’m not interested in taking things slow.”

“Seth—”

“I wasn’t looking for anyone, Tessa. Sometimes, though, we don’t have to be looking to find what we need.”

“What if it doesn’t work out?” she asked quietly, her heart beating double time. “What if you only think you need me? What if—”

“Then we won’t have lost anything for trying.” He touched her hand, his palm warm against her skin.

Except our hearts,
she wanted to add, but the food smelled wonderful, and Seth’s eyes were the same blue as the evening sky, and it was easy to let the thought slip from her mind when he was looking at her like that.

Bentley nudged Seth’s knee as he squeezed under the table and rested his head on Tessa’s feet.

“You don’t quite fit under there, big boy,” Seth muttered, but he scratched Bentley’s head and offered him a piece of chicken he plucked from a container of fried rice.

“You’re not supposed to feed him table scraps,” Tessa said, trying to sound firm. Seth could see right through her.

“I’m trying to win him over,” he explained as he fed the big dog another piece of chicken. Truth be told, he was more interested in winning Tessa over. Now that he’d found her, he had no intention of letting her disappear from his life.

“Why would you want to do that?” she asked with a nervous laugh.

“I plan on spending a lot of time around here. Being buddies with your dog will make that easier. You don’t mind, do you?” He looked into her eyes and wasn’t surprised to see uncertainty. They’d both lost someone they’d deeply loved. They’d both been changed by it. It wasn’t an easy thing to forget, and it wasn’t easy to decide to move on.

He reached across the table and took her hand, sliding his thumb across her smooth skin. “I can leave if you want me to, Tessa. You can have the Thai food, no strings attached. Just a friend doing something for a friend.”

“That isn’t what this feels like,” she said softly.

“I know, but if that’s all that you want it to be, I’ll be okay with that. No date. No meeting my family. No moving forward. I can do that if it’s what you want.”

“It isn’t.” Her fingers curved around his. “The thing is, I don’t know how to do this.”

“What?”

“You. Me. Us. Dinner.” She swept her free hand in a circle that encompassed the table, the room and Seth. “Do you know how many years it’s been since I’ve...”

“Dated?”

“That seems like a term for someone a lot younger than me.”

“You’re young.”

“I don’t feel young.”

After a moment, he nodded in understanding. “Neither do I. We’ve both lived through a lot. We’ve survived—”

“So far,” she offered with a sad smile.

“You’ll be fine.”

“We hope.”

“
I
believe you’re going to be fine, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you are.” He squeezed her hand gently. “So, how about we eat? We’re letting our food get cold while we try to hash things out.”

She hesitated, then nodded. “Okay.”

It was a start, and it was enough.

Seth smiled. “Do you want to pray, or would you like me to?”

“You can.” She bowed her head, and Seth offered a simple prayer of thanks for the food, resisting the urge to thank God for the company. The evening was young, the food smelled good and the company...

He looked into Tessa’s eyes.

Perfect.

He didn’t want to ruin that, didn’t want to scare her by pushing too fast or too hard.

Tessa picked at her food, scooping up a few bites and then putting her fork down.

“I’m not as hungry as I thought I was,” she announced, shoving her plate to the middle of the table. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“I feel like there is. You’re always doing so much for me, Seth.” She grabbed the plate and covered it with plastic wrap. “It seems like the least I could do was enjoy it.”

“If I didn’t want to do things for you, I wouldn’t. And when I do something for someone it isn’t to get thanks or accolades.” He grabbed a spring roll from a cardboard container.

“I know, but—”

“But nothing. Now, stop worrying or you’ll make me lose my appetite,” he cut her off.

She smiled, but her eyes were sad. “The way you’re packing down that food, I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Hey, it takes a lot of energy to do what I do.”

“I thought you were on desk duty until your shoulder healed. You haven’t been doing more than you’re supposed to, have you?” She scowled, and Seth smiled.

“I’m glad to know you care, Tessa. No worries, though. I’m following the doctor’s orders. I’ve just been burning the candle at both ends recently. That takes fuel. Which reminds me, I did a little digging while I was at work today,” he said, and Tessa stiffened.

“Digging into what?”

“Your past.” He’d wanted to find out more about Andrew and the mission team, and he’d pulled up old newspaper articles about the massacre. He’d been shocked to see Tessa’s tearstained face on the front of several local newspapers. She’d looked like a kid, her hair in two long braids, her eyes large in her thin pale face. The story had taken center stage on the national news circuit. If Seth hadn’t been on covert assignment overseas the year it had happened, there’d have been no way he wouldn’t have known about it.

“I guess you’re going to tell me what you found.”

“You don’t sound very happy about it.”

“I’d be happy to never have to mention what happened in Kenya again.” She walked to the window that looked out over the backyard. She’d pulled the shade, but he still wanted to drag her away, tell her that she had to be careful.

“Maybe one day you won’t, but for right now—”

“I know, Seth. I’m going to have to discuss it. I’m going to have to answer questions. I’m going to have to relive every bit of the horror.” She turned to face him again, her eyes the same misty green as Smith Mountain Lake in the morning. Looking into them was like looking into the past, like seeing the future, like returning home after too many years away.