Deliverance (22 page)

“You just got lucky. I was about to pass you. I challenge you to another round.”

“And I challenge both of you! Nakissa knows how good of a driver I am.” Garnier’s voice takes me by surprise. My heart beats faster. My mouth is dry. Why is he here? Other than the fact that I invited him, of course.

“You are the worst driver.” I don’t meet his eye.

Ebi happily shakes his hand. “Are you Ehsan? I’m Ebi, Nakissa’s brother.”

My face turns tomato red. “This is Garnier. How do you even know about Ehsan?”

“I read your text messages.”

“What? That’s private.”

“So what happened to Ehsan? He seemed to really like you.” I try not to laugh at the teasing in Ebi’s voice. I should be mad. And I certainly shouldn’t be encouraging him to invade my privacy. Any other time, I’d be pissed. But I’m high from the racing game, and Garnier is here and it makes me happy. Too happy.

“Ehsan lost interest. We’re not together anymore.” It’s the first time I say it out loud since Leyli isn’t around for me to talk these matters to death with. It really doesn’t hurt. And it clicks. We really aren’t together anymore. I look at Garnier.

There is an intense look on his face. Did I show my feelings too much? Does he know what I’m thinking?

“So about that challenge?” he laughs.

“Yes! I will beat both of you.”

“You just try,” Ebi exclaims.

We have three more races. Ebi wins one of them, but I win the other two. For someone who’s been driving since the invention of the automobile, Garnier really isn’t a good driver.

“What do we do now?” Ebi asks.

We play a few more games and even take a train ride meant for little kids. Garnier jokes around with Ebi and the two of them really hit it off. It’s like we are a little family and the fantasy appeals to me more than I ever thought it could.

After the arcade, Ebi suggests we buy some kabobs and have a picnic in a park. We find a small store whose smell we can’t bypass and we stock up on jujeh kabob, koobideh, charbroiled tomatoes, piles of steaming rice striped golden with saffron, and of course a few bottles of yogurt drink to wash it all down.

We spread our feast out on the grass in a nearby park. The air is fresh the way it only is around this time of year. It’s warmer than usual today, and instead of worrying about global warming, I’m going to enjoy it for what it is. And we are far from being the only ones enjoying the day this way. All around us people are spending their New Year holiday with friends and family.

“This is our first Nowruz visit,” I declare.

“We’re not really visiting,” Ebi argues.

“Doesn’t matter. I decided this is how I want to start the holiday. This is who I want to start the holiday with.”

“I think I feel the same way,” Ebi said.

Garnier leans back and smiles. “I’m also having a perfect day.”

We toast to a perfect day and Ebi quizzes Garnier about everything North America. Then, learning that Garnier has also lived in Europe, he quizzes him on everything European. When we have had enough laying around and talking, we find an ice cream shop. We walk along the streets of Tehran eating ice cream, pointing to things in store windows and speculating on the people we walk past.

We take the metro to the Grand Bazaar where we wander for hours seeing everything as if for the first time. From the merchant selling bright pink underwear imported from China to the old man tirelessly pounding beautiful designs into metal plates in the same manner his family has for generations.

The sun begins to set much too soon and we have to get home for dinner with the family. Ebi invites Garnier to join us, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.

“What would Maman and Bijan think?”

“That’s okay. I should go back to my hotel to get ready. There’s a party I need to go to.” He pauses; looks at Ebi. “Our friends whom we miss so much may be there.”

I nod. “Maybe I should go too.”

“Maman won’t allow it.” Ebi says.

“He’s right.”

“But you can sneak out. I’ll cover for you.”

“You will?”

“Under one condition.”

I raise my eyebrows at him.

“Okay two conditions. You need to tell me all about it and once I’m old enough, you have to take me along to one of these parties.”

I mess up his hair. “Deal.”

We say our goodbyes to Garnier. Ebi hugs him and tells him he wants to see him again and I remember how young my brother really is. The city is trying to force him to grow up so quickly. Some of us don’t have a choice in our circumstances, but Ebi can be spared from that fate. I can protect him.

In the elevator we make our plans. I feel bad to be lying to our parents. I feel even worse that I’m dragging Ebi into it. But I don’t have a choice. They just don’t understand. I look at the boy grinning in the elevator next to me. He’s holding a ball that Garnier bought for him, and I feel grateful towards Garnier. He brought me closer to my brother. And the best part of today is that there was not one time today that I felt he’d prefer to be hanging out with Nagissa. I smile back at Ebi.

Everything will be okay and it’s all because of Garnier. Garnier who’ll eventually leave us and return to his own country. My smile fades.

Ebi’s distraction works perfectly and I’m out of the house and into Garnier’s car before I even have a chance to worry about it. We smile at each other and I wish I could kiss him like I would if we were a couple.

“Did Davood call you?” he asks.

“Call me? Why?” Before Garnier can answer me, I receive a text message from Amir-Reza. 

“Davood wants us to play as a tribute to Roxana. Can you make it?”

“Davood wants us to play?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t it early for that?” I feel sick to my stomach. “My singing is why she died. And now they want me to sing as a tribute to her? How can I do that?”

Garnier puts his hand on my arm without taking his eyes off the road. “It is not your fault.” He sighs. “The day before she died, she needed money. A lot of money. She was in trouble with her dealer. I thought if she could pay him off, she could get herself out of trouble. I recommended for her to go to a clinic. But still, it’s my fault she had the financial means to overdose. If someone is responsible, I am.”

“She chose to do this. You can’t blame yourself.”

He looks away from the road and raises his eyebrows at me.

“And I shouldn’t blame myself either, for the same reason. But to play her songs… Doesn’t it seem wrong?”

“It depends how you do it. Make it a tribute to her. Do it as a gift to her. A way to highlight and showcase her work. Do it for her and not for yourself. Then, I think it is one of the nicest things you can do for her.”

I nod. I’m not convinced, but his point is valid enough.

Garnier’s become Davood’s go-to guy or something because we have to stop by Amir-Reza’s on his request, to pick the guy up. I’m disappointed. I know this is about finding Leyli and Aude and never expected it to be a date, but I’d hoped that being alone with him would have been a nice little bonus to the whole adventure. Instead, the bonus is food. Loads of food from Amir-Reza’s family restaurant. If this keeps up, I’m going to have to start going to the gym. But the kabobs are so good it will all be worth it.

The party is at another one of those mansions that make my parents’ nice condo look like a dump. It sits up high in North Tehran, overlooking much of the neighborhood.

“Rumor is that Ramtin himself is staying there,” Garnier says.

Amir-Reza lets out a low whistle. He’s impressed for completely different reasons than Garnier and I. Actually, I’m not impressed at all. I’m scared.

“Do you know how huge it is that we could be playing for Ramtin himself? Your harp playing and singing is going to blow him away, Nakissa. You’re not going to let him steal you away from us, are you?”

I freeze. In all senses of the word. I can’t move and shivers rack my body. He would take me away. Just like he took Leyli and Aude. And though he has uses for the other two, me he just wants to get rid of.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let him take her away.” Though he’s talking to Amir-Reza, his words are for my benefit. He’s letting me know he’ll protect me. Do I need protection? I’ve ever felt this way before but I think in this case, I do.

A passphrase gets us into the compound, and Garnier parks in a parking lot full of premium imported cars. In fact, the car next to us is a bright yellow Ferrari convertible. This party surpasses the previous ones in all ways, including the uncomfortable factor. A barely dressed girl asks me if I want to join in the orgy happening in the pool house.

I make a mental note to stay clear of the pool house.

We find Davood inside the main house. He’s setting up some of our instruments on the deep red Persian carpet covered platform in the main receiving area. The walls here are trimmed and paneled in gold tones and glittering chandeliers hang from the blue tiled vaulted ceilings. The wall behind the stage proudly displays a mosaic of mirror and golden-hued tiles. My high heels make a clicking sound on the shiny marble floors. This room belongs in a palace inhabited by kings.

The lights are dimmed and more people find their way into the room. Guys and girls dressed in Chanel and Gucci and, of course, Bijan (the designer, not my step-father). My premium quality clothes are cheap compared to all the designer brands prominently displayed. Yet I realize, for the first time, that Garnier fits in perfectly with this crowd. Amir-Reza, on the other hand, sticks out like a sore thumb. I guess it’s okay since he’s 
the entertainment
. I am too.

Garnier excuses himself while Davood steps on the stage to get the party-goers attention. I nod at him and get side-tracked by a waiter dressed in a tuxedo offering me champagne. I’ve never had champagne. I grabbed a glass and turn towards the stage. I’ll take a few sips and ditch it when I’m called on stage. But Davood doesn’t announce Farâsoo yet. It’s another band he manages. I don’t know why this comes to me as such a surprise. Of course we wouldn’t be the only band under his wing. Still, I feel a little jealous.

The band has a jazzy style to it that is really lovely and relaxing. The lead singer reminds me of a Persian Frank Sinatra and I find myself swaying happily to the music while sipping on my drink. The music is lovely but it’s missing that special something that Farâsoo has. I smile into my glass. Garnier slips his arm around me and leans me towards him. His mouth is near my ear and my knees weaken. I imagine him kissing me on the spots tickled by his breath. Trailing his lips down my neck, pausing in the space where it meets my shoulder and…

“I haven’t spotted them yet. Have you seen anything?”

“Hm?”

“Have you seen Leyli or a girl that fits Aude’s description?”

I take a deep breath to shake off the mood and pull away from him so I can face him. I shake my head no.

“You stay here and keep your eye on the crowd. I’m going to explore the rest of the place.”

“Including the pool house?” I’m surprised by the ice-cold tone of my voice.

“If I have to.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

He furrows his brow at me, then shakes his head while shrugging and walks away. What’s wrong with him? How could he get me all hot and then just go off to some obscene place? I finish my champagne and motion the waiter for another glass.

I walk around the room looking for Leyli, but the crowds are getting bigger and the lights are becoming dimmer and I fear I won’t find her. Actually I fear that I won’t find her not because the place is crowded or because the lights are dimmed… but because she isn’t here. She may have been sacrificed to create a rock monster. I know this because Nagissa knows this. I push her further down into me. I’m me. Just me. I don’t want her to take over. I don’t want to also be a sacrifice.

I’ve walked around the room several times, catching sight of neither Leyli nor Garnier, when Davood calls me and the rest of Farâsoo to the stage.  

My stomach flips and my hands shake. I’ve never performed for so many people before. I’ve never deliberately walked on stage before. In one way or another, Nagissa has always pushed me. But I won’t let her out anymore. I can’t let her out. I pull myself up straight, exhale slowly and walk for the stage. I can do this.