Desire Disguised (16 page)

He knew what to do. Ben always seemed to know what to do. Kissing, touching, pulling away to look, and then bending to her again, he touched her in places that shouldn’t have felt so good from his attention. Her earlobes, her hands, the skin at her waist where her shirt had ridden up, all tingled and glowed with every kiss and stroke of his gentle lips and fingertips. Her breath rattled in and out in rapid puffs, and Cara was suddenly sure she didn’t want to be wearing clothes. She wanted him to kiss and touch her everywhere, make her whole body feel as if she was going to burn up from the inside.

“I want to go in.” The groaning sound of her voice would have startled her if she wasn’t already so disoriented. She lifted herself up from the lounger, and Ben rocked back on his heels to watch her, his dark eyes fixed to hers.

“You want me to go.”

“No. Come in with me. Please.”

She stood up, sure she wanted more from him but not outside where the flivvers could see and other residents could hear any uninhibited sound she had a feeling she might make. Ben held her arm as she swayed on her feet, her legs momentarily disconnected from her control.

She struggled with the door until it finally opened, and she reached out a hand to his to pull him inside. The touch of his skin against hers steadied her, and she kept walking until she reached the sofa where she collapsed in a heap and pulled him down. His expression was cautious as he leaned over her. Cara slid her arms around his shoulders and kissed him on her own.

“We don’t have to do this,” Ben spoke against her lips, and the movement made her shiver.

“I know.” Cara searched his eyes for any sign of reluctance and saw only Ben wanting to please her.

“We can talk if you’re worried about Mat.”

“I’m not.” Feeling daring, Cara moved her mouth to his neck, to the spot she’d felt his pulse just moments before. She licked and sucked in imitation of what he’d done to her, and Ben’s distance disappeared. He lowered himself over her, sliding one of his thighs between hers as he pressed his hips inward. The weight of his body thrilled her, and Cara pushed herself against him as hard as she dared.
More skin, more skin
was her only thought as she tugged at the fasteners of her shirt to open it and expose more of herself to Ben’s mouth. His fingers pulled at her tank as his mouth teased against the top curve of her breast.

Exhaling a shaky moan, Cara flung her head back against the sofa cushion as Ben nuzzled aside the cloth barrier and took her hard nipple in his mouth. His hand cupped around her breast, and she clenched her fingers against his scalp to keep him on target even as bolts of pleasure rocketed from her breast to her toes and came to rest between her legs where a tremendous ache grew.

She didn’t know she’d been moaning his name until he released her nipple and gazed at her, his lips wet and a flush over his cheekbones.

“What’s wrong, Cara?” he gasped and swallowed hard as he studied her.

“Nothing, nothing. Please help me.” She didn’t know the next step, only that she had to have him touch her. She’d done it to herself on occasion, but the idea of Ben’s hand on her in a similar fashion made her shake with desire. She slid one hand down to her hip, her fingertips brushing against her sex and stared up at him, hoping he’d understand. She didn’t look away as he breathed hard and frowned slightly.

“You’ve done this before?”

She nodded, reluctant to tally up how many times she’d masturbated. Why she should be embarrassed to admit that when she pined for so much more, she couldn’t understand. “A few times.”

Two long breaths later, he eased his intent gaze from her and glanced down her body. He bent his head and moved one of his hands to join hers, and she was exultant. Seeing his big tanned fingers next to hers made her shake.

Without any more delays, they both worked to open her trousers and pull them away. She pushed them to the far end of the sofa with her feet as Ben returned to kissing her, his mouth touching her lips in the same gentle rhythm as his fingers as they stroked up her inner thighs and nudged between her legs. Every shake and shiver she’d felt converged on that small, anxious part of her body he barely touched. He pressed his fingers to her sex, the fabric of her underwear a silky friction against her folds. A few movements of his hand made her arch against the sofa. Oh, she wanted him to
touch
her.

Cara released her hold on his shoulder and pushed her hand down her body to tug at her undergarment, desperate for him. She bumped against his wrist, and he froze. She continued to fumble with her clothing. She’d waited so long, why was he stopping now? Ben quirked a smile and pulled her arm back around his neck.

“Not out here,” Ben rumbled against her cheek after he’d lowered his head back to hers.

“Where?” Was there some sort of code to this sort of thing? Had she gone in the wrong order? Cara pushed down a flutter of anxiety.

Without saying anything, Ben stood and pulled her up with him. Without hesitation, he scooped her up in his arms, holding her tight to his chest as he walked to her bedroom. It seemed like the logical place. As soon as they reached the darkened room, Ben tugged at her clothes. She was barely able to see him in the dark but that would hopefully hide any mistakes she might make, and she wouldn’t have to wonder what he thought of her body. Off came her shirt and tank, and she sensed him kneeling in front of her as he removed her underwear, his touch barely felt along the prickling skin of her hips and thighs, his warm breath tickling her belly.

He stood and kissed her again, his mouth finding hers unerringly. She could do this. She’d already had so many new experiences in her time on this planet. This time with Ben would become one of them.

Did he expect her to take his clothes off? Cara stopped melting into Ben’s mouth long enough to squint at his chest. She couldn’t see much and also couldn’t remember what his clothing had looked like, so she skimmed her hands across his chest until she felt seams and then pulled at them, all while Ben clenched his hands around her hips. When she’d unfastened his shirt and made to push it from his shoulders, he released his hold on her long enough to shrug out of the garment. His hands slid back to her body quickly, this time his fingers circled around her bottom and squeezed gently. She lifted on her toes with every movement. Everything he did satisfied her body and her mind. It was overwhelming.

“Get in.” Ben urged her to the bed, and she lowered herself, nerves tightening her throat as she shifted the coverlet away. She heard rustling fabric and knew he had removed the last of his clothing. Second thoughts intruded in all the fantastic bliss Ben had given her already. Was she sure this was the right thing to do? Was he the right person? Cara felt the bed dip as Ben crawled in beside her, and as he touched her arm and thigh she knew if she didn’t try this with him tonight, she might never have another chance.

As Ben whispered how beautiful she was, Cara sank back on the bed and pulled him with her. Her skin was hot, her muscles quivered, and her heartbeat thudded in her chest. As his fingers returned to her thighs, her legs fell open, and without a pause he returned to touching her. She could feel how wet she was and hoped it was acceptable, but as the heat and tension built she stopped caring about rules.

“Ben, can you?”

“Can I what, sweet Cara?” Ben whispered in her ear as one of his fingers slid inside her. Her whole body clenched at the invasion, and he eased away, making shushing sounds. She had to calm down or this wasn’t going to happen.

“Please do that again.” If that was part of it then she wanted to try. Ben circled an arm around her shoulders and curved her into his chest as his other hand slid back between her legs. Another probe with his finger, and as he moved his hand against her, Cara inhaled and rested her leg over his hip. That felt good, that felt right. His erection bumped against her belly, and she shivered. The idea of where he was going to put it made her tense, and she again told herself to relax. He kissed her as he stroked her, and the tender intimacy of it made something in Cara’s chest loosen and ease. She pulled her mouth from his and panted out his name, not quite sure how to tell him how wonderful he was.

“I’m here,” he rumbled, and she felt tears prickle her eyes as she detected the underlying kindness in his tone. She’d thought the man was supposed to be quick and almost rough, but Ben acted as if he’d spend all night just caressing her. Too much more delay would be unendurable; she didn’t know if she had the courage to prolong this any longer.

“I know you’re here. I can feel you everywhere.” Cara hoped she didn’t sound as frantic as she felt. She ran her hands along his chest and shoulders, marveling at the swells of muscle she found there. Did she dare reach down further and touch him? Her boldness faded, and she instead rolled on to her back, hoping that was a clear enough invitation. As if kissing him, dragging him into the room, and taking off her clothes weren’t enough. He rolled over her, shifting her legs around either side of his hips.

“Not quite everywhere,” Ben’s voice rasped as he tilted his hips forward and used his hand to guide something to press between her legs. Briefly she considered telling him she was a virgin, but all the heat in her body burned caution away. So that was it, she was that close to—Ah, there was pressure on sensitive skin, and as Ben pushed harder against her, Cara flinched at the tear of pain she felt. His erection slid in further, and she breathed out harshly, trying to relax and not fight against it.

This was what she’d wanted, and she needed to let it happen. Ben breathed hard too; his hand gripping her hip trembled against her skin as he rocked slowly back and forth, his erection sliding in and out in a painful way. Maybe he was too big, maybe she was too small.

Cara gritted her teeth and shifted her hips, hoping if she changed position he would fit easier. Her movement seemed to increase the pressure and she shook. Ben gasped and increased his tempo, and she wondered if she’d survive. It didn’t quite hurt, but it didn’t quite feel good; the whole interaction was so strange she didn’t know what to think.

Ben’s back muscles tightened under her hands and his movements grew more hurried before he convulsed and groaned in her ear. He collapsed against her, and she struggled for breath until he rolled to his side and pulled her with him. Cara tried to calm her breathing as she rested her head on his chest and listened to his heart hammering away.

So, that was sex. It seemed as if she should have had a bigger reaction, at least according to the romances she’d read, but at least the closeness she’d felt with Ben was nice. Maybe that sort of thing grew over time, not that she’d have the chance to find out.

Stars
. Ben gasped as his mind floated about two meters above his spent body. Cara. Naked and wet. His. Heaving out a sigh of satisfaction, he allowed himself a few thoughts of triumphant possession. She’d wanted him. He’d had her. They’d made love. It had been good, and the next time would be even better. His only regret was that they weren’t in his bed so his sheets would smell like her later.

Thinking about that, Ben reached for her, intending to kiss her, but in the darkness he missed and ended up with his mouth on her ear. That was good too. He nuzzled in and enjoyed the little shivers and squeaks she made.

Cara had been a revelation. He hadn’t expected anything of this nature to occur between them. Although he had indulged in some detailed fantasies before he’d fallen asleep the last few nights. None of them had come close to the reality of her. Her slim arms slithered against his, and she pushed at his chest with a huff of breath.

“That tickles.”

“That’s why I’m doing it.”

“You want to torment me?” Her voice was plaintive in the dark.

“Only in a good way.”

She curved against him as he worked his way across her cheek and found her mouth, caressing her lips and tongue. Cara sighed and pressed her breasts against his chest, and Ben decided he wanted to look at her. The quick glimpses he’d gotten in the living room weren’t nearly enough to satisfy him. Just that obscured glimpse of her exquisite breasts and her bare legs. Great legs, but he was in the mood to see more of the surprisingly lush body he’d felt in the dark.

“I want to see you.” He rolled away and felt for a light. He hoped her bedroom was set up similar to his and as his fingers encountered familiar controls at the bedside he activated a light and dimmed it to a more subtle level before he turned to Cara. She had pulled a sheet up to her chin and stared at him as if she wasn’t sure what he was going to do next. He reached out and tugged on a corner of the fabric and she resisted, her eyes narrowing as he pulled. For whatever reason she was reluctant, and instead of pushing her, he decided to circle around her objections. “Or you could look at me.”

Ben gestured at himself as he shifted closer to her. Cara’s eyes met his, and she relaxed her hold on the sheet. She let her gaze wander across his shoulders and chest and trail down to his groin. Her rapid intake of breath made him glance down and when he saw a few smears of blood on his upper thighs his mind went blank for a nanosecond. He knew he wasn’t injured, so it had to have come from Cara. As he put it together; her awkward movements, her sudden modesty, stars, how she’d flinched when he’d first entered her, all pointed to the obvious conclusion. He’d just taken her virginity.

He’d assumed she was inexperienced, which would be natural considering her upbringing, but she’d told him she’d done this before as she’d invited him to caress her. He’d thought she’d been with the boy she’d mentioned, the one her companion thought she’d told too much. So he’d gone ahead with what every cell in his body urged. The weight of what he’d done to her, what had happened between them blasted through him, and with a desperate instinct, he pulled the sheet away from her body, dreading what he might find.

More traces of blood on her thighs and a few on her sheets. He didn’t know what to say. She blinked a few times and tried to cover herself again, but he held on to the fabric.