Destined for the Star (Starstruck) (17 page)

Then, suddenly, she came to think of something that made her frown with worry.
 

”But what about your family, Nate? Won’t they be disappointed if you don’t spend Christmas with them?”

”I think they’ll be okay with it. My mom already knows about you. She’s thrilled I finally found someone to love. I think she’s hoping I’ll make her a grandmother again soon,” he added with a wink.

She laughed.

”Maybe we should get to work on that right away, don’t you think?” she teased. ”We don’t want to disappoint her now, do we?” she asked, cocking her brow wickedly at him.

”Great idea, babe, I’ll get right on it!” he joked and moved as if to mount her again. Then he bent down to kiss her instead.
 

”But now you’re distracting me again,” he murmured. ”I was actually going somewhere with that.”

”Oh yeah? Where?”

”You know that Thanksgiving is coming up soon?”

”That’s a big holiday in your country, isn’t it?”
 

”Yes, it is,” he said, ”and this year in particular, I have a lot to be thankful for.” He smiled tenderly and pulled a wayward curl back behind her ear. ”I was wondering if you would like to come with me and spend Thanksgiving with my family?” He seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for her reply.
 

She looked at him, momentarily at a loss for words.

”Really?” she finally croaked. ”You want me to meet your family?”

”Yes, I do. Very much,” he murmured. ”Will you come?”

”Yes,” she whispered. ”Yes I will, if you really want me to.”

”I do. I can’t wait to introduce you to them,” he beamed and planted a kiss on her forehead.

”What if they don’t like me, Nate?” she asked, suddenly overcome with nerves.
 

”Don’t be silly, sweetheart, they will adore you,” he promised. ”Just like I do.”

”I hope so,” she fretted. ”Don’t you think they’d rather you had met some nice cowgirl instead of me?”

”No cowgirl in the world could ever make me as happy as you do, love, and that is all that matters to them. That I’m happy. They will love you and be so happy for us. I promise.”

”How many days do you think you can get off work?” he asked a little later.
 

She thought about it for a moment.
 

”Rashid won’t be happy to give me time off so soon again but he knows he owes me, so he won’t put up much of a fight. How many days should I ask for?”

”A week would be good, ten days even better, ’cause I want to show you where I live too. I want you to meet Sadie.”

”But you live close to your parents, don’t you?” she asked in confusion. ”In Oklahoma?”

”Actually, I live in California,” he said, squirming a little under her gaze.

”Why?” she asked, even more confused.
 

”It’s a long story, love,” he hedged, ”and I will tell you all about it soon, I promise. I just don’t want all that,” he made a sweeping gesture, ”to encroach on this,” he pointed to the space between them. ”I’m so completely happy here with you, and we only have a few days left before I have to go back to all that. And I would prefer not to think about it right now.” He looked down at her and traced circles across her skin as he spoke. ”After you’ve met my family and see where I come from, I’ll tell you all about that other part of my life, the complicated part.”

”You’re scaring me now, Nate,” she whispered. ”Are you a drug dealer or something? An arms dealer? What?”

”No, no,” he laughed. ”It’s nothing bad, nothing like that at all. I promise,” he said, when she still didn’t look convinced. ”It’s just that I have sort of a high profile in certain circles,” he said, struggling to explain without giving away too much, ”and I don’t want all that to come between us now in the beginning, when we’re just getting to know each other. Trust me, none of that is real, it’s just part of my job. A truly bizarre part of my job,” he added, staring off into space, a crease forming between his brows.

”I don’t understand,” she admitted.

He looked down at her again, so much tenderness in his eyes.

”I’m Nate, just Nate, the man you fell in love with by some crazy miracle. The man who loves you more than words can say.” He caught her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes. She felt as if he laid his soul bare for her to see.
 

”Please, trust me, Olivia. I’m just Nate,
your
Nate, for as long as you’ll have me.”

”Forever”, she whispered.
 

”Forever it is then,” he echoed and kissed her.
 

* * *

That night she had the nightmare again. The one where she was locked in her mother’s apartment, and George was there with them, savagely beating her mother’s limp body on the floor. She was shielding the twins in the corner, covering their eyes with her hands. But there was no one there to cover her eyes and she couldn’t look away. She woke screaming and threw herself off of the bed, her only thought to get out of that apartment. But strong arms caught her and held her tight. Nate’s voice hushed her softly in her ear.
 

”Shh, it’s okay, Olivia. It was just a bad dream. I’m here, baby, you’re safe. I will never let anything happen to you. You’re safe, sweetheart, I’m here.” He turned her around so she could see him. ”I’ll never let go. You’re safe with me, baby.”

She was shaking so hard, her teeth rattled.

”T-t-t-turn on the l-l-l-light, p-p-p-please,” she stuttered.

He did as she asked.

”There. Better now?” he asked, cradling her in his arms.
 

She wasn’t able to answer him yet. She just clung to him, waiting for the tremors to abate.
 

He kept stroking her hair, it was oddly soothing. She nestled into his chest, slowly calming down.

”I’m sorry if I frightened you,” she said at last.
 

”Don’t worry about it, love,” he murmured. ”But what did you dream, that terrified you so?” His eyes burned with curiosity and concern.

She looked into them, deliberating for a second. She didn’t really want to tell him this story. It was too dark, and still too painful to talk about. But she didn’t want to keep anything from him either. So she took a deep breath.

”Nate,” she began, ”I haven’t told you what really happened to my mom.” She paused, her mouth suddenly dry with fear. She didn’t want to remember this.

”Go on,” he prompted gently.

”I need some water first,” she said, and tried to get up.

”No, stay, I’ll get it for you.”

He was just gone for a few seconds, but she started shivering as soon as his arms let go of her. He saw that, and drew her into his embrace as soon as he returned. She drank some water, and then she continued.

”I really don’t want you to have to hear this story, Nate. I wish I didn’t have to tell you, but I can’t stand keeping anything from you either.”

”It’s okay, baby. I want to know what it is that frightens you so. I want to know everything that’s happened to you. I’m strong enough to take it, Olivia, whatever it is.”

”Okay then,” she acquiesced. ”My mother, Lilian was her name.” She hadn’t said her name out loud in such a long time, because it hurt too much, but it felt like a release, saying it to Nate now. ”She didn’t die in an accident.” She started trembling again, and Nate wrapped his arms tighter around her. ”George, my stepfather, the boy’s father, he… he killed her, Nate. He killed her,” she repeated and looked up into his eyes, letting the despair she felt bleed out of them.
 

Nate was quiet for a few seconds, just staring at her in horror. Then he crushed her to him.

”Oh, God, Olivia, I’m so sorry. So very sorry to hear that.”

”And then he killed himself,” she said.

”Oh, baby,” he took hold of her face and looked at her with such tenderness and pain. ”I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say.” He was quiet for a second, searching her face with his loving gaze. Then he gasped. ”Was it you who found them?”

”No, Nate,” she looked at him disconsolately, ”I was there when it happened.”

He stared at her in shock.

”You were there?” he whispered in utter horror.

”We all were,” she said hollowly.

”What do you mean?”
 

”The twins too,” she said, staring at something far away. ”He held us all hostage, Nate.” She looked up at him, feeling her face go numb with the terror of that day. ”She had finally mustered the courage to leave him, a few months before. We were hiding in a new city, and things were starting to look up; the women’s shelter had gotten us an apartment. No one was supposed to know where we were.” She pushed herself to continue.

”George was in prison at the time. I had finally managed to convince Mom to press charges against him and he was convicted. But she still loved him, despite everything he’d done to her. I don’t understand that, but she did. He wasn’t always abusive to her, you see,” she said and looked at Nate. ”The first few years they were together, they were very happy. They seemed crazy about each other. And he was a good dad, to me too. He didn’t make a difference between me and the boys. Those first few years he made me feel loved and as if I was just as much his child as the twins were. He was a good man, when he was sober.” She paused for a moment to take a deep breath.

”But then something happened and he started drinking again. He was an alcoholic, you see. When he was drunk he turned into a monster.” She trembled at the memories of the abuse, the long, dark nights that she hid in her room listening to the terrifying noises coming from George going berserk, praying desperately to whomever might be listening to keep her mother safe, to keep her alive.
 

”Oh, baby, I’m so very, very sorry,” Nate murmured and pulled her even closer.

She felt it all rush out then. She couldn’t stop the torrent of words. She didn’t want to anymore, it was a relief to finally share it with him.

”I don’t know how he found us. They let him out on parole over the weekend. He managed to escape, somehow, from the officer who was supposed to stay with him, and then he went on a drinking binge. I don’t know who told on us, but someone must have revealed our whereabouts, because he showed up that Saturday afternoon. My mom wouldn’t open the door at first, but he threatened to kill himself if she didn’t and she gave in. I guess she couldn’t stand the thought of him dying. I don’t know.” She shook her head. Nate stayed quiet, just trying to take it all in, she guessed.
 

”When she opened the door, he stormed in, screaming all kinds of awful things at her. He accused her of cheating on him, called her a whore, screamed that she had never been faithful to him at all, that the boys weren’t his and that now we were all going to die. That’s when we realized he had a gun. Mom tried to talk sense into him. But he was so far gone, nothing could get through to him. He hit her across the head with his gun and she fell to the ground. She was still conscious as he dragged her by the hair into the living room. I think she must have known what was going to happen then, because she screamed at me to get the boys out of there. That was the last time I ever heard her voice.” Her voice cracked at the memory. Tears were running down her face but she didn’t even feel them.
 

”I couldn’t get them out, though, because George pointed the gun at us and told me if I moved even a centimeter he would shoot all three of us. I was paralyzed, I didn’t know what to do. When he turned back to Mom and started beating her, I crawled into the corner with the twins next to me. I covered their eyes as much as I could, to keep them from seeing what he was doing to Mom, but they must have heard it all anyway.” She was shaking again but Nate’s strong embrace kept her from losing it completely.
 

”He was beating her with his fists, and with the gun, kicking her… I screamed at him to stop until my voice broke, but it was as if he didn’t even hear me. The sound, Nate, the sound of his blows to her body… I’ll never forget it,” she choked, looking into his eyes.
 

”She was unconscious by then, but he just kept at it. That’s when I realized that he wouldn’t stop until she was dead and when she was he would kill us too. I just knew it. So I grabbed the boys and ran for it. We were already at the front door when he noticed. He came after us then, with a roar of rage, and I fought to get the door open. Praying to God that he wouldn’t shoot the boys until I could get them out. But my hands were shaking so much, they kept slipping off the lock. And then I suddenly heard a shot and felt a searing pain right above my left ear. At the same time the door somehow fell open, and I pushed the boys out, trying to scream at them to run, but my voice was completely gone. No sound came out. Still they must have understood because they ran down the stairs as I heard a second shot and felt this insane pain in my side. I looked down and there was so much blood, I was sure I was dying. The pain was so excruciating I passed out. ” She looked up at Nate.

”Nate, I loved her so much. But I couldn’t save her. I didn’t save her,” she choked, the tears intensifying again.
 

”Olivia,” Nate’s tender voice enveloped her, ”no one could have saved her. Even if someone somehow had managed to call the police right away, they would never have made it into the apartment in time. He was armed and very dangerous, they would have had to tread very carefully. You saved the boys, your mother would be eternally grateful for that. And I bet, wherever she is now, she knows what you did and is so proud of you,” he murmured into her ear, all the while rocking her soothingly in his arms.
 

”I wish she hadn’t died, Nate,” she cried. ”I miss her so much.”

”I know, love, I know.” He held her and let her cry herself out in his arms. She cried for a very long time. And he held her so patiently and lovingly until the tears finally stopped. She felt a release then, one that she hadn’t felt before. She could suddenly think of her mother in happier times, without her mind inevitably skipping back to that last hellish hour.