Devil's Despair Box Set: Books 1-3 (97 page)

Sarah

The note on top of Trav’s pillow reads:

Went to get breakfast. Back in a few minutes.

Bags are packed.

Wake up happy, Sarah. I did.

- T.

Lifting my head from the pillow, I find the clothes Trav laid out for me to wear home. I smile at his old sweatshirt, which sits on the dresser next to a pair of my jeans. No underwear in sight.

Figures.

As I lay back in bed I look to the ceiling and close my eyes try to forget seeing Travis in so much pain. Although I remember my own anguish from losing Bean, watching Travis go through his old home, the one he shared with his favorite person, was gutting. Travis still harbors pain and anger. He hasn’t yet come to an understanding that his father leaving was an accident. He blames his dad for leaving as if he could’ve helped it. Travis hates pity, but I’m sorry for him anyway.

As I’m walking around, straightening the rest of the house, I notice Trav’s been gone far longer than the few minutes he told me he’d be. The rain outside is hitting the windows and the wind is knocking tree tops off balance. The sky is dark, which allows the eeriness to seep in and swallow me in doubt.

I run my fingers over the books on the shelves of Hayden’s father’s den, and come across some of the classics.
Old Man in the Sea, Moby Dick, Tom Sawyer.
It’s fitting Brian Flynn would own books like these. He was far more cultured than anyone else in my life. I take in a breath of relief as I think how far he and Hayden had come in solidifying their relationship.

I jump as the rain pounds harder and a clap of thunder snaps above the house. Trav’s been gone too long. It’s been over an hour.

I don’t have my cell phone since Trav disposed of it at the beach the way he did. I don’t smile at this memory. I’m still too pissed about its
murder.

Looking outside, I notice a small break in the clouds above and determine I need to call Travis and find out where he’s gone. There’s got to be a neighbor with a phone around somewhere nearby.

Putting on my shoes and throwing on Trav’s sweatshirt, I make my way outside, but not before taking a moment to inhale the scent of him on the fabric.

I’ve only been to the house a couple of times and I don’t remember seeing any homes along the way, so I close the door without locking it and make my way up to the road ahead. I decide to take a left.

Walking a short distance, I see a house about the size of Brian’s set farther off the road and decide to head to the door to see if someone’s there. It’s Sunday morning, surely someone’s home.

A small, frail, older woman answers before I have to ring the doorbell a second time. She’s dressed in a yellow muumuu and looks to be about Bean’s age before she died. My heart aches in my chest.

Her small smile invites me in as I explain I’ve been left at her neighbor’s house without a way to reach anyone.

“You kids and your phones,” she says, again reminding me of Bean. “I’ll fetch my cordless and you can make your call with that.”

“Thank you,” I tell her, sitting quietly on her old-fashioned fuzzy burgundy couch. I’m thankful the rain stopped or I’d be soaking wet.

Her small lap dog, which she told me was named Champ, sits growling at me in the corner as I wait for her to return. Her cat, a yellow and black bundle of fur, purrs loudly as it stares at me from the chair across from where I’m sitting.

Once she hands me the phone I realize the only number I’ve ever had memorized is Ace’s. Biting my lip, I’m unsure if I should make the call. He’d find out where I am and what we were doing before we have a chance to sit him down and explain. Travis would be pissed if I did this without him.

“You gonna make your call, honey?”

“Yeah, I need to, but I don’t remember the number.”

“Those phones you kids use nowadays are worthless, I tell you.”

Clicking the green dial button out of nervousness, afraid that I’ll mentally fall apart in this small woman’s presence, I make the call to Ace. He doesn’t answer, so I leave a voice mail telling him where I am and what I need. I keep it brief, not giving too much away.

After eating breakfast—chocolate chip cookies and milk—which I found as soothing as I did when I was a kid, the phone rings and the woman quickly answers.

She nods while saying, “Sure, honey. Here she is.” The woman smiles briefly and hands me the phone. “It’s for you, dear.”

I sigh in relief. Whether it’s Ace or not, I’d like to talk to someone familiar. The dog still growls quietly as he watches my every move. The cat wandered off minutes ago.

“Hello?” I ask into the receiver. I hear a woman choking back a sob. Immediately, I know who it is. I’ve heard it from Raegan countless time since knowing her.

“Rae? Are you there?”

I hear her gasp on the other end. I clutch the phone in my hand as I hold my breath, waiting for her to say something.

Anything.

Images of Ace lying dead on a cold, hard, steel table infiltrate my mind. Decklan’s small body, broken and hurt, come next.

Hayden injured, Lacey crying, Marlee missing . . . all of them one by one play on an endless reel of frightening possibilities. Rae wouldn’t be sobbing if she and Ace only had a fight.

“
Rae!
” I cry.

I feel the hand on my back as the stranger moves in, sensing my stress and sitting next to me for comfort.

“Where are you now?” she whispers in a broken voice that is barely audible.

“Still at Hayden’s dad’s beach house.”

“I’m going to send Toby to come get you.”

“No! Where’s Travis? I’m waiting for him. I’ll go back. . . .”

“He’s not coming back to get you, Sarah.”

Wake up happy, Sarah. I did.

“No! He didn’t change his mind, Rae. He wouldn’t have left without me.” She may have no confirmation of what I’m talking about, but I do. Travis was always certain of us, more so than me. He wouldn’t leave me alone without a phone unless. . . .

Unless he had no choice.

“Accident,” I hear Rae utter through a small cry.

“No! No! No!” The phone drops from my hand when my knees hit the floor.

“Honey, is there something I can do?”

“He’s okay. He’s okay. He’s okay!” I chant to myself, scared to unleash my panic in front of this stranger.

The woman picks up the phone and listens to whatever Raegan is saying, as I sit with my elbows resting on my knees and my head in my hands.

This is not fucking happening.

Once I hear the phone disconnect, she reaches over and looks at me with eyes full of heartfelt sympathy. I wait, hoping she’ll remind me more of Bean than I had thought, but Bean’s wisdom doesn’t come from her.

She merely says, “I gave them my address. A gentleman will be here within the hour.”

Over an hour later, after Toby took a few minutes to calm me from my damning thoughts, he loaded me up in his car and explained why Travis couldn’t make it back to where I was.

He’d rolled his truck four miles from the beach house. He called Hayden after the paramedics freed him. From what Toby explained, he wasn’t critically hurt but his wounds were enough he needed a ride to the hospital. He didn’t call because he couldn’t get a hold of me; I had no phone.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Travis

I WASN’T PAYING
enough attention to the weather as I drove back from the bakery. The rain was coming down harder with each mile that passed on the last stretch of road near the house.

To avoid a large piece of debris that had fallen in the storm, I swerved hard and over corrected. The Jeep flipped twice and landed on its side. The crack I felt to my ribs due to impact hurt worse than my knee, which I now know is severely sprained. I didn’t feel the dislocation of my shoulder until I went to reach for the cell phone that sat against the passenger side of the car. Luckily, adrenaline was pumping through my system, keeping me from panicking. I was going to be fine and I knew it, I just had to get out before any oncoming traffic rounded the corner and inadvertently slammed into my Jeep.

I was only alone for twenty minutes before the first passerby crossed my path. The woman in the sedan pulled off to the side and didn’t get out of her car until she had already called an ambulance. Once she did, it was evident she was at least seven months pregnant, if Lacey and Marlee’s pregnancies were anything to go by.

After the paramedics pulled me out, I called Hayden. He knew where Sarah and I were and the reason we were so far from home. He swore silence, citing he’d fill Toby in carefully until I could face the wrath of Ace on my own.

While I sat inside the Jeep waiting for help, I relived my life with vague detail. Growing up with my dad, finding my friends and Bean, but mostly I thought about Sarah. In my lap, by my side, in my face . . . countless memories flashed before me. Since knowing her, she seems to have always been near me.

It was then I heard Hayden’s words. He told me to close my eyes and imagine a life without her. In that moment I tried, I really did. I only had to see her face twisting with her anger, hear her voice booming words to make me smile. But it was her sweet, gentle side that no one sees that caused my eyes to open in fear.

I needed to get back to her.

After I was admitted for overnight observation, Hayden left. The pain meds the doctor gave me for my shoulder, knee, and ribs caused me to tire quickly. I wasn’t able to wait for Sarah to arrive.

As I’m waking up now, though, there’s no mistaking Sarah’s presence in my small, white, sterile hospital room.

Raegan stands at her side near my bed, holding Sarah’s hand tightly. Sarah’s tears are falling uninterrupted down her face as she sucks in a breath to put off falling apart. Raegan’s eyes hold a strain of relief in seeing I’m okay. Sarah isn’t buying it.

“I know that sad face,” I tell Sarah, holding my arm not set in a sling out for her to take my hand. “I’m okay.”

“You’re so stupid,” she whispers and I look at Rae’s hand in hers as Rae gives it a gentle squeeze. “You’re so, so dumb,” Sarah continues her insults. This is Sarah’s way of dealing with someone else being hurt. Putting blame on them helps her through it.

“Sarah,” I start. “Come here.”

“No,” she answers. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“So you’ve said,” I answer, letting my outstretched hand fall and trying, with great effort, not to look hurt, or more importantly, annoyed.

“So dumb,” she returns again.

“Sarah.”

“Don’t fucking ‘Sarah’ your way out of this! Look at you!”

Smirking slightly at her words, I suggest, knowing it won’t go over well, “We need to get you another swear jar.”

Her eyes widen, looking enraged. “Don’t you fucking joke about this! You’re an idiot!”

“Christ, you said that already. Get your ass over here!” I’ve lost my composure and Rae’s eyes widen in surprise. They shouldn’t, considering this is Sarah and me. It’s how we’ve always been.

“I was so scared!” Sarah’s voice rises and she thrashes, letting go of Raegan’s hand. “Fuck, Travis, I thought you left me because you changed your mind!”

Once she says this out loud, my eyes dart to Raegan’s. The fear and anxiety I didn’t feel in my Jeep as I sat alone are present now, front and center.

Sarah catches my look to Rae just as Rae smirks before speaking. “I already know everything.”

Rae only knew Sarah and I had slept together and how I felt about it afterward. What we’ve talked about and done since, though, I hadn’t explained.

“Everything,” I repeat her statement partially. I’m waiting to see her disappointment, but it’s not there. She doesn’t look angry. I haven’t told her the rest.

Sarah jumps in with her irritation again, pushing away the ease I felt in Rae’s response to Sarah and I being together. “Oh, she does know,” she smarts off sarcastically. “While you were in here being all Sleeping Beauty, comfy and cozy, I had to listen to Rae lecture me on how important it is to stay calm for you. Fuck calm, Travis Kyle. I’m not staying calm.”

I smile. I can’t help it. “C’mere, Sarah.”

“No.” Her arms cross over her chest petulantly.

“You want to,” I try again, softer, with less demand in my tone.

“Sarah,” Rae says her name and Sarah’s head turns to look at Rae. Rae nods toward my bed and I open my good arm again and carefully move over slightly so Sarah can see and accept the invitation.

“Oh, fine.” Finally, Sarah burrows in to my side as carefully as Sarah can and rests her head on my chest. “I didn’t get breakfast. You said you’d get it.”

I let out a small laugh, which hurts like hell, and kiss the top of her head. “You’ve done better than I expected you to.”

“She wasn’t earlier. Jesus, she was. . . .”

Sarah lifts her head up and turns to face a now nervous Rae. I can’t see the look, but it quiets Rae and she starts walking backward toward the door.

“Ace is on his way. I had to tell him what happened. You’ve got to tell him the rest,” she says before opening it. “He’s not happy, Travis.”

“I know.”

“I’m lying,” she corrects. “He’s not unhappy, he’s
livid.
”

“I know. I’m sorry you dealt with that on your own.”

“Don’t be sorry for me, I can handle him. I worry about you two.”

She has a right to worry. We’re all well aware of Ace’s temperament.

“We’ll be okay,” I answer her concern by pulling Sarah further in to me.

“He’s dropping Deck at my dad’s, so I figure you guys have about an hour before he gets here.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re okay?” Rae asks. “You’re going to be okay telling him everything, I mean?”

“Yes.”

I’m no longer certain of anything, though. Everyone finding out has brought the reality of all of this into full view, and none of what’s happened was part of my plan.

“I’m glad you’re okay. It could’ve been so much worse,” Rae puts in, holding the door to my room in her hand.

“Me too,” Sarah says to my chest. I feel the warmth of the tears she’s hiding from Raegan and my hand rubs up her back for whatever comfort that can give her.

Once Rae’s out of sight, Sarah sits up, adjusts her body further onto mine and leans her face in close. I look down at her from my seated position and smile.