Authors: Patricia Wentworth
Helen shook her head.
“I can't,” she said. “Please don't think me very obstinate,” and she tried to smile. “Please don't, Captain Carlton, but I just can't go home without seeing the woman for myself.”
They turned into a narrow, dirty lane, between two rows of rickety houses with little gimcrack balconies that leaned together and seemed about to fall. At the far end, the courtyard of the serai opened. A small crowd of gaping loafers who were collected about the gate stared widely at the unwonted sight of a sahib and memsahib drawing up before the native rest house.
Again did Captain Carlton question, and receive voluble answers.
“Oh, yes, a palanquin had arrived. There was a woman in it. She had gone in there”âhalf a dozen hands pointed to one of the ramshackle doors that opened upon the courtyard. No, nobody knew where she came from. No, she had had no servant, and her palanquin bearers were not here. They had run away at once, as if they were frightened. God knew what had frightened them. Nobody else knew anything. The bearers said they knew nothing about the woman, they had only brought her one stage, from Ghara. Then they ran away as if the devil were at their heels. Who knows why they ran? Helen slipped from her saddle. She was behind Captain Carlton's back, and he did not see her. He was leaning over and talking to the men. She had heard enough. She left the reins hanging, and ran on tingling feet across the trodden mud of the yard, and before Freddy Carlton realised what she meant to do, she had disappeared behind the door to which the natives had pointed.
CHAPTER XXIX
MRS. MORTON
Where have you been this long, long time?
I have been dead,
With the stone of forgetfulness at my feet,
And the naming stone at my head.
Why did you come from the grave again?
Our tears were shed. You should have slept till the Judgment Day,
You who are dead.
Helen shut the door behind her quickly because she did not wish Freddy Carlton to follow her, and at first the place was so dark that she could see nothing.
Six feet up in the wall beside the door there was a small square window with no glass in it. A little light came in through this, and as Helen's eyes grew accustomed to the dusk, she made out the opposite wall of the room, a native string bed pushed against it, and a white form huddled upon the bed in a crouching position. Little by little, details began to emerge from the gloom. The form was a woman's form, and it was covered from head to foot with a coarse white sheet. One fold of the sheet was shaking, as if it were being held together by a shaking hand.
Helen took her hand off the latch, and moved away from the door. As she did so, the light from the window fell on her, and she saw the woman on the bed lift the corner of the sheet that shook, and look from under it. There was a gasping sound. Then Helen forced herself to speak. It was too dreadful. She must get it over.
“I cameâI saw your handâwhoâwho are you?”
Helen was never quite sure if she heard her own name or not. She never could quite recollect anything, except that her heart began to throb loudly and painfully, and that the woman began to fumble with the sheet that covered her. Her hands were very hesitating and feeble. Helen's only clear impression was the horrible one that this was a corpse struggling to release itself from a shroud. Her own flesh chilled momentarily. Then the sheet fell back, and it was dead Adela whom she saw only two yards away from her in the dusk.
The shock was so great, so sudden, so overwhelming, that Helen could feel nothing at all. She leaned against the mud wall behind her, and felt the ground waver, waver beneath her feet. Her eyes looked at Adela, and saw thin, hectic cheeks, hollow eyes, and a head shorn of all its chestnut curls. Adela's lips were moving piteously, but the noise in Helen's ears was too loud to let her hear.
Suddenly it ceased, and a chill, deadly quiet came instead. From beating violently, her heart seemed to have stopped beating altogether. From a state of wild confusion her brain passed to one of clear and cold decision.
“Adela,” she said in a quiet, intense voice; and Adela shuddered into a sob.
“Oh, Helen!” she said. “Helenâ don't look at me like that. Helen, don't!”
“Hush!” said Helen sharply.
Both women heard a man's footsteps; it came close to the door, and Freddy Carlton called aloud:
“Mrs. Morton.”
Adela made a shrinking movement, and reached for her veil, but Helen went quickly to the door. She opened it a little, and stood in the gap.
“Will you wait, please,” she said in a low voice.
Freddy peered at her, glass in eye. He looked much disturbed.
“What is it? Good heavens!”
“Please.” Helen put out her hand. “I have hadâa shock. It is some oneâI usedâto know. Will you get bearers for the palanquin? I must take her away from here.”
“Who is it?” asked Captain Carlton in an agitated whisper, singularly unlike his usual placid tones.
“I think I had better not say yet.”
Helen spoke very slowly. It mattered so intensely what she said, what she did. For Dick's sakeâfor Dick's sake. Her brain was working all the time, but she had not begun to feel. It was as if some one had struck her heart a very heavy blow, and stunned it. There was no feeling there. Only when Dick's name passed through her mind, the numbness yielded, and was shot with little quivering pains. No, she must not begin to think of Dick. Not yet. She looked so ghastly that Captain Carlton blurted out:
“Are you going to faint?”
“Oh, no.”
Helen actually smiled. Then she turned and went back, shutting the door behind her.
“Helen, aren't you gladâto see me?” said Adela. It was quite her old fretful voice, but so weak.
Helen looked at her in silence.
She had gathered the veil about her again, and with her shorn head covered, she looked less horribly unlike the Adela of the old days. There was a high flush on her cheeks, and her eyes were brilliant under the beautiful arched brows.
“Tell me,” said Helen, standing against the wall. Her long green habit fell about her feet. Her hat had fallen back. Her face showed pale and stern against it.
“What do you mean? Oh, Helen, how unkind you are. If you knew what I have been through. Any one would be sorry for me.”
Helen's lips moved stiffly as if they were going to smile. Very stiffly she closed them again.
“You haven't changed, Adie,” she said in a queer voice.
“My hair must make a great difference,” said Adela feebly. “And I am very ill. My heart is badâI faintâoften; and I have had dysentery for weeks and weeks. That is why I am so thin. And they didn't give me enough to eat after the baby died. Anundaâshe was the only one who was friendlyâshe said they wanted me to die too. I shouldn't wonder. I shouldn't wonder if they had put powdered glass in my food, so as to give me dysentery. They do do things like that, you know. I didn't know before, but now I do.”
Helen put one hand over the other and dug her nails deep into the palm.
“Who wereâtheyâAdela?” she managed to say.
“Frank's motherâand her relations. I think she is half mad. She only thinks about her prayers. Oh, you don't know what it has been.”
“Frank?”
“Frank Manners. You must remember him, Helen, and how much in love with me he always was. He saved my life that awful day at the ghaut. Helen, don't look soâwhen Richard was dead, and every one, what could I do except marry him? He was always very devoted to me.”
Helen repeated four words mechanically: “When Richard was dead.”
Adela bridled.
“Of course under other circumstances I should have waited a year. At least a year. I have always said a year was the least. You remember, Helen, I said so to you often in Cawnpore, when we thought that Richard was dead. I said I should insist on waiting eighteen months, though poor Richard and Iâwell, you know that he never really understood me, though I think he meant to be kind.”
The tears came up in Adela's eyes, flooding their brilliance. Her voice faltered.
“As things wereâI had no choice. Helen, you do see itâI couldn't help doing it. Helen!”
“You married Francis Manners,” said Helen very slowly.
“IâI had to,” whispered Adela.
“And then?”
“He took me to his motherâa dreadful old womanâquite mad, and Frank was mad too, I think. He wasn't at all like he used to be. He took opium, and talked in such a wild way, and he must have been mad becauseâoh, Helen, at last he killed himself.”
Helen said nothing. She only leaned against the wall, and Adela went on, shuddering:
“He came in one morning, and he said, âIt is all over,' and then he kissed me quite wildly, and went away, and shot himself, and his mother came in and cursed me. It was dreadful. And Anunda said that all the English women had been murdered, and thrown down the well near the Bibi Kotee. She cried, and said that that was why Frank shot himselfâbecause he couldn't bear itâand they all seemed to think that it was my fault somehow. And how could it be?”
Adela broke off, shivering under her light clothing.
“Helen, why don't you say something?”
“Go on,” said Helen.
“They took me away in the night. They would have left me behind to be killed, but I told them that I thought I was going to have a baby. Anunda put it into my head, and said Frank's mother would not let me be killed if she thought that, and after all it was true, though I was not sure then. They took me to Lucknow.”
“Go on,” said Helen again.
“I don't know where we went to after Lucknow. We kept on moving, and I never saw any one except those dreadful native women, and they only cared for the baby. They would have been very glad for me to die. But I didn't die. The baby was born in April. I don't know where we were. I never saw anything but the one room they kept me in.”
“Yesâgo on.”
Adela caught her breath as if she were in pain.
“Six weeks ago, the baby died. It was always sickly. Then it got fever and died. Then I began to be ill. At last they turned me out. I think they were afraid to keep me. Anunda said so. They put me in a janpan and sent me away, and after two stages the bearers ran off, and I had to get others. I thought I would come here. It wasn't any farther than going anywhere else.”
There was a pause, and then Helen said:
“Dick is alive.”
Adela cried out sharply, and at the same moment Freddy Carlton knocked on the crazy door; they heard his voice and the creak of the hinge.
“Mrs. Morton! Are you ready? The bearers are here.”
Adela crouched down, trembling in every limb.
“Helen, how does he know? How does that man know? You didn't tell him. I heard what you said. How does he know?”
Helen's throat contracted.
“He doesn't know,” she said.
“But he does. He called my name. Oh, don't let him come, don't let any one see me.”
“Mrs. Morton.”
Freddy's voice was urgent. A crowd was collecting, and he was on thorns until the two women had been got away.
Helen went to the door.
“In one moment,” she said.
Then she turned to meet Adela's eyes, brilliant with fear and suspicion.
“Helenâwas he callingâyou?”
“Yesâhe was calling me.”
“You are married?”
Helen pulled the glove from her left hand and let it fall upon the floor. Then she stretched out her hand towards Adela. There was only one ring on itâa small narrow ring.
Adela looked and felt the breath flutter in her throat.
“Who is your husband?” she said faintly, and then her voice sharpened, and she repeated louder, “Helen, who is your husband?”
Helen looked at her.
Adela's colour wavered. The high bright flush went out like a blown flame. Then it leaped again higher than before.
“NotâRichard?” she said in a quick, flurried way. “No, no, oh, no, no, no! Not Richard?”
Helen bent her head. Her shoulders felt as if they supported some intolerable weight. She needed all her strength to raise her head again.
“NellieâNellie!”
Adela began to pant like a tired animal. A look of terror came into her eyes.
“I'mâgoing toâfaint!” she gasped, and suddenly she fell forwards, all in a heap amongst the folds of her widow's sheet.
CHAPTER XXX
A DAY OF JUDGMENT
Look in my eyes, you whom I love,
Look in my eyes and see,
Here is my soul, like a naked thing,
Naked to you and me.
If there be spot on the naked soul,
If there be stain of mire,
Look on it now,
O you whom I love,
Look and search it with fire.
Richard Morton looked up from his writing as his wife came into the room. The lamps had been brought in an hour before. One stood upon the table, and the light beat down upon the white papers, leaving the upper part of the room in shadow.
“You are late,” he exclaimed. “Where have you been?”
Helen did not answer. She came and stood by the table, leaning on it with one ungloved hand. With the other she took off her hat, and let it fall upon the matting.
“Tired?” said Captain Morton.
He pushed his chair a little farther from the
table and swung round in it.
Helen lifted her head with a sudden movement. Words that she had heard once flamed in the darkness of her mind.
“Lead me, O Zeus and Destiny”âthe words were blurred. She thought that they went on: “But if there be no leading, I needs must follow still.”
“I needs must follow”âthe coward as well as the brave. Only it was easier to be brave.
“Helen,” said Richard uneasily, and she slipped upon her knees and leaned forward against his breast. In a moment his arms were about her, holding her.
“Dick, do you love me?” she said at last.
“Don't you know?”
“Say it.”
“I love you.”
He spoke very slowly. At the last word she turned her lips to his, and they kissed, a long, long kiss.
“How much?” whispered Helen, with her face against his.
“As much as I know how to. More than I knew how to yesterday. More every day.”
“And if I changedâif I grew ill, or died? When we grow oldâwhen trouble comesâor deathâ”
“I love you. There is no past or future, it is all love.”
“When trouble comesâ”
“We shall be together.”
“If we were not?”
He was silent, holding her close.
“Dick, if we were not?”
“Darling, what could separate us? Foolish heart.”
“Dick, kiss me again.”
He kissed her. Her lips were very cold. Richard Morton began to be afraid, very much afraid.
With a movement that was almost rough, he put his right hand under Helen's chin, and turned her face to the light. She yielded at once to his touch, and he saw her, all white in the yellow glow. There were lines upon her face that no one should have seen there for ten more years at least. Every feature seemed finer, as if the fulness of youth were gone. She stared into the flame of the lamp, and then turned a little and looked at her husband. He saw her eyes, darkly passionate, and her lips set in a strange smile.
“Helen, what is it?” he exclaimed sharply.
She spoke in a quiet voice.
“It is trouble, Dick.”
“You are not ill?”
“No. That would be easy. I am not at all ill.”
He laughed in his relief.
“Then it is nothing very bad. Tell me. Tell me at onceâyou look as if the world had fallen to pieces.”
“I think it has,” said Helen.
Then she looked at him and said very simply:
“Adela is alive, Dick.”
Richard Morton knew then what he had been afraid of. That look on Helen's face. He had heard of women whose minds became unhinged when a child was coming to them. He put his arms about her, and spoke soothingly.
“Darling, you are not well.”
Helen smiled at him in a heart-breaking way.
“I'm not mad, DickâI don't know why I'm not, but I'm not. It is true. The woman, the woman we were speaking of. It was Adela. I have seen her.”
“You'veâseenâher?”
“Yes, darling. There was a palanquin, and the wind blew out the curtains. I saw the hand that pulled the curtains in. It was white. I made Captain Carlton follow to the serai. Then I went in, and the woman was Adela.”
She spoke reasonably, calmly.
Richard Morton took her by the arm with a grip that left a bruise there.
“Do you knowâdo you realise what you are saying? For God's sake, Helenâ”
Her eyes rested on his for a moment. The desperate wounded passion in them answered for her. To hurt the thing you love best in the worldâto hurt the soul that is more to you than your ownâHelen realised it, and her eyes made the answer.
“It is impossible.” Richard's voice was quick with protest.
“Dick, it is true,” she said, “it is quite true, Dick. I brought her away. She is here.”
“Here!”
“How could I leave her? She is ill. I think she is very ill indeed. She fainted.”
“It is impossible,” said Richard Morton again, but his voice had fallen.
“It is true,” repeated Helen. “She thought that you were dead. She married!”
Richard flung out his hand with an oath.
Helen put both her hands over it, and went on speaking in the same steady and yet hesitating manner:
“It was the Nana's nephew, Francis Manners, whom she used to know in England. She thought you were dead. You must remember that, Dick; and he saved her life, and she had known him before. Then he diedâhe killed himself. He was weak, not wicked, and he couldn't stand it all; so he killed himself. His mother protected Adela because of the child. There was a baby. It died too. Then they turned her out. Poor Adie. She is so illâshe has suffered so dreadfully.”
Helen's voice had dropped to a languid, half-conscious murmur. She began to understand how it was that Adela had been able to tell her tale so calmly. When you have thought of dreadful things for long enough, they hardly seem dreadful after all.
Richard's grip upon her arm roused her.
“Helen! Is this true?”
“Yes, Dick. It is true.”
He turned from her, throwing out his arms across the table, and letting his head fall upon them:
“My GodâHelen, what have I done to you?”
Helen started. She had not begun to think of herself. It was Dick, the separation, not herself at all.
The agony of Richard Morton's voice struck through her defences. She saw herself suddenly as he saw herâstripped of her wifehood, defenceless to the world, mother of a nameless child. This was what was hurting him soâthis.
She pressed against him as she knelt, lifting his head, drawing it to her heart, holding him to her with all her strength.
“Dick, loveâloveâdon't think itânever think it. I am proudâI am proudâ” The force of her feeling broke the words, her voice trembled on them. Her eyes were shining.
“Youâdon'târealise,” groaned Richard Morton.
Helen put her soft cheek against his.
“I doâI do reallyâbut it doesn't matter. This isâtoo big a thing for it to matter at all. Dick, listenâwon't you listen to me? Oh, do you think I could ever be anything but proudâso proud, because I was your wife? Do you think I should ever be ashamed? I shall thank God every day.”
Richard's arms closed hard about her.
“My wifeâmy wife,” he said, and they clung together.
Then Helen lifted her head and smiled at him.
“Don't you understand now?” she said. “Oh, Dick, I think you doâI think you must. How many women have never hadâthis at all. How can I help being proud and thankful?”
After a while he loosed her and leaned his head on his hand, half turned towards the table again.
“You say she is here?”
“Yes, I put her to bed. The doctor is coming.”
“Does Carlton know?”
“No. I said it was some one I had known. He was so very kind. He asked no questions.”
There was a pause. Then Helen said:
“Dick, I must go back to her. She isn't fit to be left. The ayah is there now, but I can't leave her. She is so ill.”
It was almost a relief when she was gone. Pain should be a secret thing. It is not decent that any one should look upon great agony, least of all one who, seeing, must share it. A man upon the rack does not ask that his wife should stand beside him to watch the straining of his self-control, or to see the sweat rise cold as death upon his brow. Richard Morton was glad to be alone, and as soon as the bewilderment of anguish had passed a little, he began to think, and to plan, for he was before all things a man of action.
When Helen returned, she found him walking up and down the room, with great impatient strides. His manner had altered completely. All the emotion had gone out of it. It was short, dry, businesslike, and he frowned as he walked, drawing his brows together till they made a thin, straight line of black above the hard blue of his eyes. No eyes can look so hard as the blue eyes which are merry when a man laughs.
“Helen, come here,” he said; and when she came to him, he put his hand on her shoulder.
“Look here, we have got to keep our heads,” he said. “When Renshaw comes, you are not to let him suspect. Tellâher. She can't wishâ” He broke off, frowned more deeply still, and went on: “It's got to be hushed up, at any rate until we can get out of the country. Ultimately, I suppose, every one will know. We sha'n't hear what they say, so it won't affect us much. I can manage to get leave at once, I think. Then we will go to America. That will be best.”
Helen looked at him in a dazed, frightened fashion.
“Dick, what do you mean?”
“Was I obscure? I shall take you to America. It will mean sending in my papers as soon as we get clear of India.”
“And your career?” said Helen; but as she said it her pride leapt up, because she knew very well what he would say.
He said it with no emotion at all, as a man states a plain factâbriefly.
“You come first.”
Helen put out her hand and touched him on the wrist.
“Dick, we can't.”
A sudden passion leapt into his voice.
“Did you think that I would let you go?”
“YouâDickâyou must.”
She would have leaned against him, but his hand was on her arm, and he kept her off.
“Do you dream that I will ever let you go?”
Helen lifted her eyes to his.
“Dick, don't hold me away. Let me come to you. Now look at me. Yes, I want to kiss you. Oh, Dick, you know that we can't do it.”
“You are mine.”
“It is because of that.” Helen's voice fell low, and broke on a sob. “If we cared lessâif it meant less. We can't spoil a perfect thing. We can't destroy our strength. It would be running away. We are strong. We have so much. We can't run away. And there is Adieâpoor, poor Adie. Dick, if you saw herâoh, Dick, it is harder for youâ”
Richard Morton threw back his head with a jerk.
“Sentiment,” he said roughly, “fine words, Helen. But you are mine, and I will never let you go. Before God I won't. Shake off this folly. Rouse yourselfâdo you realise your position? Have you forgotten the childâour childâyours and mine? What is any tie to that?”
Helen raised her face to his.
“No, Dick, I hadn'tâforgotten. That was why I said it was harder for you; I shall have the child.”
He turned from her abruptly.
“What are you made of? My God, Helen, you can'tâyou can't do it.”
A clatter of hoofs came along the drive. A horse drew up at the verandah steps.
“Any one there?” shouted Dr. Renshaw.