Diary of a Wedding Planner in Love (Tales Behind the Veils Book 2) (26 page)

April

Saturday, April 5th

I should have been wary when Mel said today's wedding would make me feel right at home. After all, I left my hometown years ago because it didn't feel like home to me.

They'd booked a private ranch deep within the Green Swamp. Thankfully, the barn for the reception had electricity and running water, but the ceremony was in the middle of a freshly mowed field. You couldn't take a step without bugs swarming up into your nostrils, eyes, and ears, and the possibility of stepping on a snake stayed ever-present in my mind. I saw more than one rat roaming dazed and confused through what used to be its home.

It didn't surprise me when the wedding party arrived in a four-wheel-drive swamp buggy, but the bride riding in behind her daddy on the back of his dirt bike proved a little much even for my country background. She hiked that white dress up around her hips, which gave the guests a glimpse of her horseshoe garter. Her veil flowed out from under her pink cowboy hat, trailing behind the dirt bike to create great shots for the photographer.

The groomsmen, who cleaned up surprisingly well in their tuxedoes, had monogrammed spit cups because the bride wanted everything in her color scheme of black and pink. Because nothing says elegant and put together like groomsmen spitting tobacco during the ceremony in matching black cups with their names painted in pink.

The bridesmaids were equally as elegant in their pink cowboy hats and black satin gowns with hot pink bras underneath. The bride proudly explained when I walked into the stable area they had set up as a dressing room that she chose strapless gowns so the pink bra straps could show. Classy, I tell you.

The reception set-up was eerily familiar to me. And not just because of the barn. She had the traditional country wedding staples of Jordan almonds, salted peanuts, and pastel mints, and the buffet included cocktail sausages in barbecue sauce and homemade pimento and cheese sandwiches. Fancy ones, mind you, with the crust cut off the bread.

"Who catered this?" I asked Mel.

She rolled her eyes in response. "Her aunt, Ethel. She's supposedly done over a hundred weddings. How many you reckon were in a barn?"

"Did you just say reckon? Wow. Look at you blending in with the surroundings. How'd we end up with this one? I mean, technically, we have clients of all budget levels, but with Aunt Ethel at the helm, why'd they need us?"

"The bride wanted a coordinator. I think we cost more than the wedding itself, but she's happy."

Actually, the entire wedding group seemed happy. The groom changed into jeans and a T-shirt, and the bride put on an adorable black sundress with the same pink cowboy boots and pink cowboy hat she wore during the ceremony. They laughed and danced all night, dining on barbecued pork from a huge black iron smoker in the back of a truck and drinking beer from kegs at the bar.

The best man was single, which I know because every member of the wedding party, as well as the mother of the groom, and mother of the bride, made sure to tell me. They even casually mentioned him being quite smitten with me. And that he'd love a date. Or a dance at the very least. He got neither.

He was cute, I guess. Courteous. Country. A gentleman by all appearances. Well, other than the spit can, but in areas of the country where I come from and where this family came from, that's accepted gentlemanly behavior. He came over and talked to me a couple times. Sweet. A little shy.

But I had no interest at all. Mel even suggested maybe I hit the dance floor with him for a slow song, but it really didn't appeal to me.

I don't know. I guess at some point I'll be ready to move on from Cabe. Hell, I sure seemed ready in Paris, didn't I? But looking back on that, I think it was an escape. Grabbing onto something to keep from feeling. To keep from dealing. I don't know if Jack called tomorrow how I'd feel about him, or if I'd even want to see him again.

Definitely not ready to consider anyone else, though. Mel says I'm holding out waiting for Cabe to call. For him to come back. And maybe somewhere down inside, I am. But I think if he were going to, he would have. You either love someone or you don't. I may have been blind to it for a very long time, but once I became aware, I could no more deny my feelings for him than deny my own existence. So if he hasn't called back by now, he ain't calling.

So I'm sure someday I'll start watching the road for a new prince to arrive. But for now, I'm learning to be happy without one. Much less pain and stress that way.

Tuesday, April 8th

Melanie nearly tackled me before I could even put my bags down this morning. Chaz told her he turned in his resignation. I'm sure on some level I felt sad about Chaz leaving, but I couldn't focus on anything but the possibility of a senior position opening up.

I raced into Laura's office as soon as I heard.

"Is it true? Is Chaz leaving?"

"It would appear so." Laura answered me without ever looking up from her computer.

"So can I apply for his position?"

She looked at me then and removed her glasses, sliding them up on her head.

Lillian came over from her office and leaned against Laura's office door frame. "I recall mentioning you needed a degree. Have you somehow gotten one since we spoke?"

"Well, no, not yet, but-"

"No buts. The senior planner position requires a degree. Besides, your experience is limited to this office. We're looking for someone with varied experiences." She turned to go back to her office.

"But, but, yes, it's limited, but I don't see it as a bad thing. In fact, it's a benefit. You've both trained me. You know what I can do. Isn't your training the best experience I can have to do things the way you want them done?"

Laura sat back in her chair and answered me. "Actually, it's often better to have a mixture of backgrounds in an office to bring in best practices and fresh points of view."

I looked back and forth between them in disbelief. "So basically you're telling me I won't ever be considered for the senior position. Not even if I go back to school? Because I don't have outside experience?"

"I wouldn't say
never,
Lillian, would you?"

Lillian looked back at Laura as she spoke, then shrugged and raised her eyebrows in indifference. "Never is a strong word. But you're not ready now. Keep working." She turned and walked away. I had been dismissed.

I stopped on the way home and picked up fast food French fries, a whole tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and two packs of wine spritzers. Then I took a bubble bath, put on my pajamas and preceded to have a self-pity party with a junk food feast. I wished I could call Cabe and talk it all over with him, but since he was also part of my misery, I was on my own.

So I ate and drank it all away. Cabe not calling (and thereby not loving me), Lillian not allowing me to advance, my job completely sucking, and my life being a waste in general. When I had eaten all the fries, drank all of the spritzers and put a heavy dent in the ice cream, I washed it all down with a good dose of salty tears and settled myself in front of my laptop. I was just across the border of being drunk, and the mixture I'd put in my stomach did absolutely nothing to get along with the roiling emotions that had taken up residence there.

But I was determined. I had a mission. A plan. I had research to do to back it up.

And now, two hours later, I have materials in hand to support my plan. I will walk into the office tomorrow and show them the newer, more confident Tyler. The one who can fly to Paris alone and make her way around the city. The one who left home and everyone she'd ever known to escape heartache and make a better life for herself. The one who gave up the man she loved to hold out for someone who could love her back in a healthy way. I'm going after what I want, and I'm not taking no for an answer. Something's gotta work out, for Pete's sake!

And who's Pete, by the way? Why are so many things done for his sake? What did he ever do for us?

Wednesday, April 9th

I brought in bagels and cream cheese and asked Laura and Lillian if I could speak with them for a moment in the conference room. I presented Lillian with a bagel I'd prepared just as she likes them, with her favorite chive cream cheese and crushed potato chips. She accepted the bagel and the request for a meeting, but she didn't look happy about either.

I laid out the handouts and timelines I had printed last night.

"What's all this?" Lillian asked, arching her eyebrows with a facial expression that would have struck fear in lesser women. I had a plan, though. I was mentally prepared for her disdain.

"While it certainly does not equate with a bachelor's degree, I found several nationally accredited certification programs for wedding consultants. I'd like to propose that I complete one of these programs, whichever you choose, and receive accreditation. The classes involved would further my education in our field, and with accreditation, I could obtain membership to be involved with local chapters of event management organizations. In the fall, I intend to register at the university to complete my studies and earn a degree in event management. This accreditation would serve in the meantime to show you my level of commitment and increase my qualifications for the senior position."

I had rehearsed the speech so many times last night and this morning that my words flowed together without pause or hesitation. It's possible I didn't even take a breath. I sounded like a recording being played back much faster than normal. But at least it didn't give them any time at all to interrupt.

"I realize this still leaves the issue of outside experience. I very much enjoy being a part of the Lillian and Laura team, so I don't want to quit my job here just to get experience somewhere else so I can come back here to get promoted. So, I was thinking maybe you could ask one of our fellow planners in the area to allow me to intern for an event. I could work on an entire wedding from start to finish to observe their processes, counsel with them to get best practices and feedback, and gain experience under different leadership."

I inhaled and sailed into the ending of my speech before they could protest.

"So I'd like to officially throw my hat in the ring for Chaz's position. I understand you'll be interviewing other candidates, but I feel my proven track record with the company, my desire for advancement, and my motivation to improve my qualifications should allow me the opportunity to interview."

I took a huge breath when I had finished, and I didn't know if I felt lightheaded from being so nervous, talking without breathing, or the slight hangover I had from drinking cheap wine spritzers.

Laura gave me a hesitant smile, and I could see I had a slight chance with her. I turned to meet Lillian's gaze, which was imperceptible as usual. That woman should have worked for the FBI. Or whatever the British equivalent is. I can't remember from the Bond movies what it's called. But you never know what she is thinking or feeling unless she chooses to share it.

Luckily for me, Laura asked her. "What do you say, Lillian? We'll be posting the position and asking for resumes. Tyler can submit hers, right?"

"Where are you going to find the time to take all this coursework, especially university classes, while interning for a competitor and managing a full wedding workload? Something will suffer." Lillian crossed her arms as she stared at me across the table, and I swear I saw a hint of glee twinkling in her eyes. She always enjoys playing Devil's Advocate in a challenge.

I had prepared for that too, though.

"Well, I've looked at the wedding schedule and found a block of time when I could complete the accreditation course with only two weddings being affected. Both of those are ceremony only, and the times do not conflict with another wedding, so I could ask Mel to cover them, or perhaps one of you."

"Why should we take on extra work for you?" Lillian took a slow bite of her bagel, much like a lioness casually toying with her prey.

"Because we're a team. Because it's the climate you've created in the office to jump in and help whenever needed. It's inherent in what we do every day and with every wedding. So I feel it's justified to extend it for a team member trying to improve her contribution to the team."

I swallowed and wished I had thought to bring in a bottle of water. My throat and mouth had gone dry.

"That may work for summer, but what about university this fall? Ongoing courses will be much harder to work around."

I nodded and formed my words carefully. "Yes, true, but the efforts invested to help me achieve this will more than pay off in the long run. I can take some classes online around my schedule, and I will know what the classroom times are so we can work around that with scheduling. As far as interning, if it's only one event, it shouldn't equate to more than an hour or so a week other than attending planning sessions. Then of course I'd need the weekend of the actual event scheduled off here."

Lillian looked to Laura.

"I don't see any reason she can't apply. We'll weigh her against the other applicants and hire the best candidate for the job," Laura said.

Lillian nodded and stood, her bagel in hand.

"One more thing," I said, my voice crackling a bit as I almost lost my nerve.

Lillian looked back at me and frowned. "Yes?"

"The accreditation program requires a mentoring internship. However, that could be waived if you would both write a recommendation and summary of my experiences here. I'd like to ask if you'd do that for me."

Lillian nodded as Laura said, "Sure. No problem."

Laura and Lillian exchanged glances before Lillian left the room. Laura gave me a side hug as we walked out together and went our separate ways to our own offices.

I floated on a high the rest of the day. Almost giddy. I had taken charge of my own destiny. True, I can't control what Laura and Lillian decide or where they put me in the end, but I'm still proud of myself for making a decision to move me forward. I've spent entirely too much of my life making choices based on what other people wanted from me or reacting to what they did to me. It felt good to pursue the things I wanted.

Lillian walked out behind me when we left today, and she waited until just before I reached my car to speak.

"Nice to see you show up today."

"I'm sorry?" I turned back to face her, unsure of what she'd meant. She smiled at me then, a genuine smile that started in her eyes and transformed the rest of her face.

"I said it was nice to see you show up today. All feisty, fiery and prepared. I liked it. I admire backbone, and I've always thought you had one in there somewhere, hidden beneath the ingrained facade of politeness. I look forward to seeing more of it."

She walked past me as I stood momentarily stunned, but she turned back as she opened her car door.

"You should have asked for financial assistance, though. The company could have sponsored your accreditation as continuing education. Probably could have covered the whole cost."

She got in her car and drove away before I could think of a response.

What the hell? Why give me these little morsels of wisdom in the parking lot when it's too little, too late? Could she not mention some of this while we are in the meeting and it would actually be of benefit to me?

What is her deal? I drove away with the same feeling of not knowing whether she's trying to help me or taunt me.