Dissonance (9 page)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

K
enzie was grateful to Annabeth for staying the night, even if she didn’t think it was entirely necessary. Sure, she was a mess of emotions and feelings that she didn’t understand and was trying to ignore, but that didn’t mean she was going to binge and purge. No. She’d made way too much progress to go down that path again. She had too many positives in her life now, including the resurgence of her singing career. Because this song
would
mean a resurgence. Kenzie believed that. She could sense it.

She arrived at the Music Row recording studio to find Chase already there, relaxing in the lounge area with headphones on. He gave her a nod when she walked in the room.

“Hi,” she said.

He frowned and pulled the headphones off. “Did you say something?”

“Just ‘hi.’ I said ‘hi.”

“Oh, okay. Hi, yourself.” His tone wasn’t frosty, exactly, but it wasn’t warm, either. Not that Kenzie would blame Chase for being cold after the brush off she’d given him. She deserved it.

“What are you listening to?”

“An indie band called Continental Divide,” Chase said. “They opened for us on our tour last year.”

“Nice.” Kenzie walked over to the coffee pot and poured herself a cup. It wouldn’t have the flavor of gingerbread or hazelnut, like she preferred, but it was still coffee. “Does it relax you, listening to other people’s music?” She figured it must, since he’d suggested it to her yesterday. Was that how he’d ended up spending his evening, while she ate pizza and got a primer on relapse triggers from Annabeth?

Chase shrugged. “Sometimes, yeah. Not always.”

Okay, he definitely wasn’t a conversationalist this morning. Was it because of nerves, or because he was pissed off at her? Kenzie wanted to believe it was only the former, but she doubted it.

Fortunately, they were spared further awkward conversation when Keith came in the room with three other men, whom he introduced as the sound engineer, the mixer and the master-er. “Are  you two ready to go?” the producer asked after the introductions were complete.

“I think so,” Kenzie said.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Chase agreed.

Keith nodded. “Good. We’ll get the click track down, then record the rhythms, followed by the harmonies and the melodies,” he explained. “Once we have all the tracks, and we’re happy with them, you two can be on your way, and these guys will work their magic and layer it all together into one incredible song.” He looked at Chase. “Carey tells me you’re anxious to head back east?”

“Yeah, I kinda am. I’ve got projects there that need my attention.”

“Then we’ll get this done. If any of your parts need re-recording, we can arrange for it to be done in a studio up there,” Keith said. “Heck, with our technology today, we could probably record this whole song without the two of you even being in a room together. I don’t want to do it that way, though. You guys have chemistry, and I want to be able to play off of that to enhance the feeling and emotion of the song.”

Kenzie only half-listened to the rest of the exchange. Her brain was too busy trying to process the first part. Chase was planning to leave Nashville, and from the sound of it, he couldn’t wait to go. Probably because she pushed him away. Good work, Kenzie. Way to make a mess of things as usual.

***

One or two takes? What a foolish thought that had been. If Keith was demanding in rehearsals, he was even more so when it came to recording. By noon, when lunch was delivered from a sandwich place down the block, it was obvious to Chase that there would be nothing fast about this recording session. The producer was true to his word, though, and they got it done in one day, even if it was a long day.

His obligations were satisfied, at least until the live performance. But that was still a month away. In the meantime, Chase was free to leave Nashville. Too bad it was the last thing he wanted to do. He took his time packing up all of his stuff, hoping maybe Kenzie would say the words he wanted to hear.

“So I guess this is it,” she said.

They were words, but not the ones he wanted. No, she was making it all sound very final, like she couldn’t wait for him to go, when all he wanted was for her to ask him to stay.

“I guess so, yeah. I talked to my bass player last night. He’s ready to get back to work,” Chase said. It was a lie, but Kenzie didn’t have to know that. Besides, Chase figured he could coax Jordy back pretty easily if he set his mind to it.

“Oh, that’s good for you, then.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely time.” Chase shuffled his feet and looked at the floor. Damn, this woman had sure managed to mess with his head and his heart. He’d come to Tennessee, brash and cocky, fully prepared to reject the producer’s pitch and be on his way. And now here he was, all but imploring Kenzie to ask him to stay.

“I understand,” was all she said. “Gotta get back to work.”

“Right.” Except he didn’t have to. Not at all. Chase could stay as long as he wanted, if he wanted. All he needed was a reason. “So, um, thanks for showing me around your city.”

“My pleasure,” Kenzie said. “Nashville’s an easy city to show off.”

The city. She was always quick to praise the city, yet she offered no kind words for the company she’d kept for the past few weeks. The man she’d all but begged to take her, right there in a dingy stall in the restroom of a honky tonk bar, and when Chase did just that, and made her come, she’d all but screamed his name, with little regard for whether they’d be caught. Great. One more blow, straight to the heart.
Get out of here, Chase, before she brings out the dagger.
He swung his satchel over his shoulder. “All right, I guess I’ll see you in Las Vegas.”

“Vegas?”

“The awards show, remember?”

“Oh, right. The ACMs. We’re singing our song. Sorry, I’m tired.”

“Yeah, me too. It was a long day.” So long that he should probably stay the night and catch a flight out in the morning, but Chase was increasingly anxious to leave. “Anyway, I guess I’ll see you around.”

One last chance, Kenzie. One last chance to ask me to stay.

She nodded and said simply, “Safe travels.”

There it was. The dagger. She couldn’t just let him down gently. No, she had to bring the dagger.

***

Coward. Coward. Coward. How many more chances, how many more openings, could he have possibly given her to ask him to stay? Yet Kenzie still couldn’t do it. Even as she watched him leave the studio and walk down the street, she’d opened her mouth to call after him. And no sound came out. It was like she’d lost her freaking voice.

Now Chase was gone, on his way back to New Hampshire and his band, probably ready to forget all about her. And who could blame him? She was a coward and an idiot.

Kenzie blinked back tears as she pulled out her phone and dialed her aunt. “Audrey, it’s me,” she said. “Is this a bad time?”

“There’s never a bad time for you, sugar.” Her aunt’s soft, Southern drawl was immediately comforting. “Is something wrong? Have you been crying?”

“No.” Kenzie sniffled. “Just allergies.”

“Mine always used to flare up this time of year, too,” Audrey said. “It’s been much better since I moved. Maybe you should come down to Florida.” It was the same request her aunt had been making for the past year and a half, ever since she left music behind and moved to Coral Gables with Eddie.

Every single time, Kenzie had said no, but now something changed.  “That’s exactly why I called,” she said. “I need to get away for a little while. I thought I’d come see you.” She had to find something to occupy her time, and staying in Nashville would leave her with too many thoughts of Chase.

***

“I need to get to Boston,” Chase said, approaching the airline ticket counter. “As soon as possible.”

“Next flight to Boston’s not until tomorrow morning,” the agent said.

“Morning.” Exactly what he’d been afraid of when he’d hastily packed his belongings and rushed to the airport. “Are you sure there’s nothing else tonight? No red eye or anything?”

“No, I’m afraid not. The best I can do for you is Los Angeles. You might be able to catch a red eye from there, if you’re really that anxious to get out of here tonight.”

Los Angeles? It made no sense to go there first, then try to catch a flight to New England. It probably wouldn’t get him home much sooner than if he waited until morning to leave Nashville. But Chase didn’t want to spend another night in a city where all he’d be doing was missing Kenzie. No, the sooner he got out of Tennessee, the better. “Yes, I am. Go ahead and put me on the L.A. flight. I’ll figure out where to go from there.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

C
hase eventually made it to Boston, and then back to New Hampshire, but by a far more convoluted route than necessary, thanks to his desire to get the heck out of Nashville. At least he was back, though. It was time to get to work. He’d even gotten a start on lyrics to two songs during the flight. Okay, so they were lyrics about finding love and then losing it. Whatever. He was known for being brooding, anyway, so these would totally fit. Now Chase just had to get Jordy back into the fold. So far his bass player wasn’t responding to messages, which did nothing to improve Chase’s mood. Was everyone shunning him now?

Instead of going straight home, he went by Colin’s house first. Taylor answered the door, holding her son on her hip. “Chase, you look like hell.”

He rubbed a hand over his weary face, certain her assessment was true. “Thanks, Taylor. I love you, too.”

“I know that,” she said with a chuckle. “Colin said you were down in Nashville working on a new song. When’d you get back in town?”

“I landed at Logan a couple hours ago and drove straight here. I flew all night. Nashville, Los Angeles, Boston.”

“Seriously? I know it’s not always easy to fly into New Hampshire, but surely there are more direct routes than that. What are you running from this time?” She opened the door wider. “Come on in, I can fix you something to eat. Colin’s at the hospital.”

Chase decided to ignore the comment about running from something. “Of course he is.” It was one reason—but far from the only one—why Chase had chosen to follow a different path with his life than the one expected of him. “So you’re not working today?”

Taylor shook her head. “It’s Saturday, and I work for the state. That’s not always a good thing, but it usually means free weekends.”

“Oh, right... sorry. In my line of work, it’s easy to forget what day it is. Especially when I’m rehearsing or recording.”

“Understandable. I had days like that as a social worker, too, before I switched to probation, and Colin does when he’s on call.” Taylor strapped her son into a booster seat at the table before walking over to the refrigerator and pulling out a carton of eggs. “How do scrambled eggs sound? Or maybe a breakfast burrito?”

“Either is fine,” Chase said. He was starving after flying all night, so anything would sound good, and Colin’s wife definitely knew her way around a kitchen. “Thanks, Taylor. My cousin sure got lucky when he found you.”

She grinned. “No argument there. So tell me, how’d the song go? Did you get it all done?”

Chase nodded. “We did, yeah. We worked on it the entire day yesterday, but we got all the tracks recorded.” So far, he hadn’t heard anything about the need to re-record any portion of the song, but then again, he’d been on a plane all night. “It went well.”

Taylor leaned against the counter, facing him, while she mixed eggs in a bowl. “Okay, so what’s wrong? What are you doing showing up at my house first thing in the morning after flying all night?”

Not surprisingly, Taylor didn’t miss a trick. “Because I was anxious to get out of Nashville and away from Kenzie.”

“Your partner on the duet?” Taylor frowned. “Why were you trying to get away from her? Do you dislike her that much?”

Dislike? No. That wasn’t the problem at all. Not even close. Chase shook his head. “Nope. I like her fine. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her.”

The bowl fell out of Taylor’s hands and shattered on the floor, and Chase rushed over to try to help her clean it up, but she pushed his hand away. “Forget the mess for a minute. Did you just tell me you fell in love with this girl while you were in Nashville working on this song?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Chase grabbed a paper towel and started to wipe up the floor, even though she’d told him to ignore it.

“So what the heck are you doing here? Where is she?”

“Back in Nashville, I assume, not that it matters. She’s got issues,” Chase said. “Lots of issues. She can’t handle a relationship, so she pushed me away.” He shrugged as if it didn’t matter, even if it did. A lot. “So I’m here.”

“Issues?” Taylor repeated. “Oh, that’s a rich word.” She rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion. “I’m sure Colin’s told you about some of the ‘issues’ I used to have?”

“Maybe a little,” Chase said. It was more than a little, but he didn’t want to get his cousin in any hot water.

Taylor laughed. “Yeah, I figured. Your family’s not big on secrets.” She swept the broken pieces of the bowl into a dustpan. “I definitely had my share of issues, that’s for sure. And I pushed Colin away plenty of times, or at least I tried to. You of all people should know that, because the first time I met you, I was trying my best to push him away.”

Chase gave a slight nod. He remembered it vividly. He’d still been at Dartmouth, and Colin had brought Taylor to Hanover for a show. At the time, she’d bordered on hostile. “You were stubborn, insisting he wasn’t your boyfriend.”

“Right, because I couldn’t deal with happiness. I was conditioned to push him away,” Taylor said. “But you know what? Colin pushed back. Never too hard, he was always gentle. But he pushed, nonetheless.” She stood upright and waved a hand around the room. “And that’s why I have all of this, including this perfect little guy.” She planted a kiss on her son’s forehead.

Chase took in the scene, and it was impossible to deny that his cousin’s wife now radiated happiness. It was a complete contrast to when he’d first met her, for sure. He thought about what Colin had said to him a couple weeks ago, in connection with Taylor’s words now. The message was clear. If he wanted Kenzie, then instead of walking away when she tried to push him away, he had to push back a little.

***

Kenzie had her good cry, then she settled in to relax with Audrey around the pool. Mid-March, and they were lounging by the pool sipping Strawberry Margaritas. There was something to be said for living in the South. It was probably still freezing in New Hampshire, where Chase was. And naturally, that was the first thing that came to her mind, because try as she might, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“It’s not that I don’t love having you here,” Audrey said, “because I do. I’m just curious what prompted the sudden visit. I thought you were busy recording that new song.”

“I was, but we’re done recording now. So here I am.” Kenzie struggled to keep her tone nonchalant.

“Crying your eyes out,” Audrey observed with a gentle smile.

“I’m not crying. It’s just allergies.”

Audrey shook her head, making it clear she didn’t believe that for an instant. “Oh, Sugar, you don’t really expect me to buy that tall tale, do you? I’ve had my heart broken a time or two myself.”

“I know that, and I’m glad you have Eddie now.”

“Me too, but that’s not who we’re talking about.” Nope. Audrey wasn’t going to let Kenzie change the subject that easily. “Who’s the guy that hurt you? Can I kick his ass? You know I’m still angry I never got to kick Jesse’s.”

In spite of her sour mood, Kenzie laughed. “Oh, you still can, if you think it would help. I don’t care. This has nothing to do with Jesse.” No, Jesse was yesterday’s news, even if she still bore the scars.

“Yeah, I figured that much out,” Audrey said gently. “It’s the guy you were singing with, right? The one I said was sex on a stick, even though you tried to deny it.”

Kenzie nodded. There was no point in denying it now. “Yes. I...” She took a drink, trying to gather her thoughts. “I did everything I could to try to keep a safe distance between us, but it didn’t work. The chemistry was too strong.” She sighed. “Maybe because he is sex on a stick.”

“Maybe,” Audrey said, but she didn’t sound convinced. “But my gut tells me it’s more. I know you too well, Sugar. If it was just about sex, you wouldn’t be here, crying by my pool. No, this is more. I think this guy got under your skin and into your heart.”

Kenzie exhaled sharply, wanting to deny it. As if. “Yes, he did, but it doesn’t matter now.  I couldn’t handle it. I got scared. I freaked out. And I pushed him away.”

Her aunt nodded knowingly. “Of course you did. It’s only natural after what you’ve been through. I have a hunch, though, that if this guy is really something special, and if what happened between you two meant anything at all to him, then he’s not going to give up on you quite so easily,” she said. “And you shouldn’t be too quick to give up on him, either.”

Kenzie gave a nod of her head, wanting to believe the words were true. Was there still a chance, or had she messed everything up?