Dissonance (10 page)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

K
enzie spent a week in Florida, trying to decompress and get a hold on her emotions. She stayed in contact with Carey, who assured her that the song tracks came out great and there wasn’t a need to re-record anything. Everything was set to debut the song at the Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas.

As confident as she was in the song, the specter of a live performance made Kenzie nervous. She hadn’t performed live in more than a year, and not in front of as many people that would be at the awards show. Of course, there was also the Chase factor. Performing their song live meant seeing him again. Was she ready for that?

Kenzie sat in the audience for the beginning of the show, awaiting her turn to go backstage before the performance, but there was no sign of Chase. Was he waiting in the back? Probably. This wasn’t his gig. Kenzie, on the other hand, welcomed the opportunity to catch up with some of her peers.

“I hear you’re singing tonight,” Misty Dukes said. “Some top secret project?”

Kenzie chuckled a little. “I don’t know how top secret it is, but yes, I am. It’s a brand new song, just recorded a few weeks ago,” she explained. “I’m up about a third of the way through the show.”

“That’s great,” Misty said. “I’m so glad to see you trying to get back in the game.”

Had she ever really left the game? Kenzie didn’t see it that way, but after a personal crisis, a change in management, and a failed album, she could understand how others might, and Misty’s words seemed genuine. “Thank you,” she said. “And good luck tonight. I’m pulling for you.” Misty was up for Female Vocalist of the Year.

“That’s sweet of you to say. Good luck with your comeback attempt. Who knows, maybe next year we’ll be nominated in the same category.”

Comeback attempt? It was like she’d fallen off the face of the earth. Was that really the word around the industry, that she was attempting a comeback? If so, then Kenzie needed this song more than she thought she did. Could she count on Chase to come through for her?

***

Chase paced in the control room, watching the award show on a TV monitor, having opted not to join the audience. He preferred to be by himself before a live performance, and besides, he didn’t know any of these people, anyway. He was better off hanging out here until Kenzie came back to join him.

Kenzie. He’d seen her on the monitor, looking radiant in a green dress, and Chase wondered if she was the same ball of nerves that he was. He’d considered calling her several times over the past few weeks, but ultimately never did, preferring instead to keep his head as clear as possible so he could concentrate on the performance. They’d get through the song, then they’d talk. That was his plan, anyway. And this time, if Kenize tried to push him away, Chase planned to push back.

The door opened, startling Chase, and he turned around to see Kenzie standing there. She’d changed, now wearing a light blue dress that matched his shirt. It was obviously planned, to make them appear complementary on the stage. Like a couple.

“Hi,” he greeted her. “You look great.” Then again, when didn’t she look great? Chase couldn’t think of a time.

“Thanks. So do you.” Her lips curled in a smile. “Like a real cowboy.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Chase looked down at his western style shirt, jeans, and the cowboy boots that replaced his customary combat boots. “They countrified me for this. I’ve even got a damn hat.” He wasn’t putting that on until right before he went on stage, though. He had to draw the line somewhere.

“I love it,” Kenzie said.

“Yeah, you would,” Chase answered with a grimace.

“Aw, cheer up, Cowboy. We’re gonna knock this out of the park.”

She seemed happy, comfortable, confident, and Chase loved to see it. “Yeah, we sure are.” He’d practiced the song with one of the backup vocalists he often worked with, with her taking Kenzie’s parts, and she had nothing but praise for the song. “We got this.”

The production director stuck her head in the room. “You’re on in five.”

Chase thanked her and grabbed the hat they insisted he wear, putting it on his head. “I guess it’s showtime, darlin.’”

“Yeah. Showtime.”

***

Kenzie stepped out on the stage, trying to ignore the bright lights and applause and simply feel the lyrics of the song. Chase would join her soon, for his verse, but for now, the stage was hers, and hers alone.

She may not have thought of it as a comeback, but others in the industry obviously did, and Kenzie knew she had a lot more riding on this than Chase. This was her genre, her awards show, and these were her peers. In some ways, Chase was a novelty in the night’s entertainment. The rock star moonlighting with a country duet. All of the eyes, or at least most of them, would be on Kenzie. It seemed appropriate that she own the stage alone at the start of the song.

I’ve been battered, I’ve been bruised

I’ve been hurt and I’m confused

Then you walk in my life and turn it upside down

And I find myself wearing a smile, not a frown.

The spotlight shifted, then, to the other side of the stage as Chase sang his verse.

I wasn’t looking for anything

I sure wasn’t looking for you,

Then there you were, in front of me

Now I’m feeling things that scare me,

Thrill me, Turn me upside down,

And I don’t know what to do.

Kenzie listened, enjoying the richness of his voice and the feeling Chase put into the words. If she tried hard enough, she could even believe that he was singing just for her. As his verse came to an end, they both left their respective corners and met in the middle of the stage for the chorus and the remainder of the song.

Upside down, you’ve turned me upside down

Now nothing is the same.

I’m not sure where to go or what to do

Because I’m all upside down over you.

I locked up my heart, I swore off love

Ready to go it alone

I couldn’t take the hurt again

I tried to shut you out, close myself off,

But you wouldn’t let me go.

You tried to push me away

Say it would be easier if I went

But whoever said love was easy?

From the first moment I saw you,

I knew something had changed.

Upside down, you’ve turned me upside down

Now nothing is the same.

I’m not sure where to go or what to do

Because I’m all upside down over you.

I wasn’t looking for love

I wasn’t looking for anything

But since I found you

The scattered pieces fit together

And now my heart seems whole.

I wasn’t looking for anything,

But what I needed I found in you.

Upside down, you’ve turned me upside down

Now nothing is the same.

I’m not sure where to go or what to do

Because I’m all upside down over you.

I’m all upside down over you.

Kenzie sang from the heart, feeling every single word. This was her story, hers and Chase’s, and as she sang the last verse before the final chorus, Kenzie’s eyes welled with tears.   Did Chase feel it, too? Was it the same for him?

They sang the final chorus together, their voices blending together perfectly, then Chase got the final line. As he sang it, hitting each note just right in his rich, tenor voice, his eyes locked with hers, and Kenzie could see he was crying, too.

This was real. He felt the same thing, and as the song ended and the applause surrounded them, Kenzie threw her arms around Chase and kissed him.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

C
hase could have lost himself in this kiss. It would have been so damn easy. Well, except they were standing on a stage in front of thousands of people and he’d never been one for public displays of affection. Of course, he’d never been one for public sex, either, until meeting Kenzie.

He broke free from the kiss and raised Kenzie’s hand up with his own. “Thank you!” he shouted. It was for the benefit of the live arena audience. The television broadcast would be well into a commercial break by now, and those watching from their living rooms at home probably hadn’t even seen the kiss.

Not that it mattered. Too many people had for there not to be questions. Lots of questions. Chase had no idea how he’d answer them.

“Great job, guys.” Carey met them backtsage. “I feel a hit coming on.”

“The press would like to ask you a few questions,” the production director said. “If you’re willing.” She did her best to make it sound voluntary, and it sort of was. Slightly more voluntary than taxes, anyway. Chase didn’t want to earn a reputation that he was aloof, or too good for country music, or anything like that, so he’d face the firing squad.

“Sure thing,” he said, and made his way toward the mass of reporters, Kenzie by his side.

They answered questions about how the project came to be, and they took turns giving credit to Carey. After that, they thanked Keith for his guidance and his expertise and for letting them take a chance on an original song. And that opened the door for the personal stuff.

“This is a song the two of you wrote together, right?”

“Yes,” Chase said. “I prefer to write my own lyrics, record my own songs. They have more meaning that way, they’re more personal.”

“And is
Upside Down
personal to you?” one reporter asked. “Did you feel that connection?”

Chase nodded. “Yes. It started out as one of the hardest songs I’ve ever written—maybe because it’s a different style of song—but once I got the first verse down, it ended up one of the easiest.” He turned and winked at Kenzie. “That could have something to do with my song writing partner, though.”

“What about you, Kenzie? As you sang your last verse, I think it was obvious to everyone watching on television that you were tearing up. Is this song personal to you as well?”

Good question. Chase thought he knew the answer, but was less sure Kenzie could admit it.

“Very much so,” she said. “As you all know, I’ve had some struggles over the past year, both personally and professionally. Writing and recording this song was a rebirth, of sorts, for me. Something new, fresh, and exciting. When my manager first pitched the idea of a duet to me, I had my doubts, but the more I thought about it, I realized this song, this project, was exactly what I needed.”

Chase immediately recognized the connection to the lyrics, and it wasn’t lost on anyone else, either, judging from the next question.

“It’s obviously a song about falling in love, and the two of you shared a kiss at the end. Does that mean this song represents your story? Is this a case of life imitating art?”

Yeah, I’d like to know that, too
, Chase thought, but when he looked to Kenzie, wanting her answer, wanting the truth, once and for all, he saw the fear and nervousness in her eyes. And he jumped in to save her.

“I think that’s something we’re still working through ourselves,” he said. “It’s been quite a ride, and we appreciate the support. Perhaps we’ll have an official announcement soon.” Chase signaled to the production director that they were done with the questions, and she jumped forward.

“Okay, that’s it for now.”

Thank goodness. Chase stood up, took Kenzie’s hand and led her away from the cameras and microphones and back to the room where they’d waited, circling each other nervously, before taking the stage for the performance. The first thing he did was toss the hat on the sofa, making Kenzie laugh.

“Something funny?”

“You. The hat.” She shook her head. “It’s not really your thing, is it?”

“No, it’s not. Not full time, anyway. But I can hack it now and then,” Chase said.

“Yeah. You do make a pretty good cowboy.”

He arched a brow. “You think so?”

Kenzie nodded. “You saved me back there. It’s exactly the kind of thing a cowboy would do.”

Chase shrugged his shoulders. “It’s the kind of thing a gentleman would do, too,” he said. “Anyone could see you weren’t ready for the question.”

“Oh, I was ready for the question,” Kenzie said. “We both knew it was coming. I just wasn’t ready to answer it. At least not right then.”

“Fair enough.” But now they were alone, just the two of them, away from the cameras and mics and prying eyes. “What about now? Can you answer it now, for me?”

***

Chase’s eyes searched hers, and Kenzie knew that she owed him an answer. She needed one from him, too. “I think you already know, but I’ll say it anyway. Yes, the song was personal. It was
all
personal. It was always my story.” Kenzie took a deep breath and continued, “Those lyrics about being turned upside down, they were about me, my own feelings, ever since I met you.”

“Me, too,” Chase said. “From the beginning. I didn’t need this project. I didn’t want or need anything, or so I told myself. Maybe I did, though, because as soon as I met you, everything changed.”

“It was the same way for me,” Kenzie said, the words coming like torrents now. “But I couldn’t handle it. It was too much, too soon.” She took a breath. “The feelings were too strong, and I wasn’t sure I could deal with them.”

Chase nodded. “Because you’ve been hurt. I get that. But I’m not Jesse.”

It was such a ridiculous statement, that Kenzie almost laughed. “No, you’re not, and that’s a very good thing. But even though you’re so different, it was a lot to take in at once.”

“I scared you, is what you’re saying.”

“You did, yes,” Kenzie admitted. “And it was a little too much for me to handle. So I pushed you away.” There it was. The truth.

“And instead of pushing back, I let you,” Chase said. “I should have pushed back.”

“Beg your pardon? What are you saying?”

“Just some advice I got. What I mean, I knew you were scared. I knew you weren’t ready. Heck, things happened so fast between us, I’m not even sure
I
was ready,” he said. “I should’ve fought harder, though. I shouldn’t have walked away.”

“I shouldn’t have let you walk away. That was my mistake. My cowardice.” Kenzie wiped a tear from her eye. Damn waterworks. Why couldn’t she keep them under control? “But I’m not letting you walk away this time.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you. I wasn’t expecting it. I wasn’t looking for it. But I fell in love with you, Chase. I guess you could say you turned me upside down.”

Chase smiled. “Yeah, same here. Or maybe it’s like Keith said at the beginning... remember dissonance?”

Kenzie nodded. “The chords. They’re incomplete. Not in harmony. Dissonance. They need to be paired with another chord to be complete.”

“Exactly. By themselves, apart from each other, there is dissonance. But together, they form a beautiful harmony. That’s us, Kenzie. We were incomplete. Now, together, we can be in harmony. When I’m with you, there’s no more dissonance.”