Divided (27 page)

Unable to speak because I thought I might scream, I just looked at him. He walked back to the nightstand and discarded the condom before opening the drawer. He pulled out the mahogany jewelry box that held my engagement ring.  Turning on the nightstand light, he crawled back next to me.

“Happy birthday, I was thinking maybe we could try this again.” He handed me the box, opening it was see my beautifully crafted
Harry Winston
engagement ring with its matching wedding band.

       “So, if I go back to you...” I was sickened with myself for what I was about to say. “If we get married, will you sign my parent’s house over to them?” I asked thinking out my options. I could do this. I had nothing left to lose; my life was already in a miserable state. I saw him think about it for a second.

“No.” He retorted.

I moved so I was sitting up facing him. “Well will you sign it over to me?” He looked at the box in my hand.

“No.” He repeated.

“Why not, Marco, if I agree to marry you why won’t you sign the house over to me? I’ll buy it from you even.” I didn’t understand his thought process.

“If I sell you the house, I have no hold over you anymore. My owning that house is the only way I can guarantee that you will not leave me. You want those memories, there is a price to pay for it”

Red. I saw blood red when I heard what he said.
Own me. He thinks he will own me.
It was all I saw, fire-engine-too-close-to-the-sun-RED. Kicking the blanket off of me I grabbed my bra and panties off the floor taking deep breaths.

“Ally, where are you going? That was only our first round, you know I’m good for another two.”

“Fuck. You. Marco.” The words shot out of my mouth.

I snapped my head at him. “Fuck You. You can keep the fucking house, evict my parents, keep my fucking childhood memories, but you will
never
, you understand
NEVER,
have me. You can’t blackmail me into marrying you. Sell the fucking house, do whatever the fuck you want, but know you will never own me. You will never have a hold over me.”

I placed my panties on and walked out of the bedroom to where I left my dress and shoes. Putting it back on I walked out of Marco’s home and out of his life.

Halloween

 “Alani, this place is so small.” Melanie said as she dropped another box on the floor. I looked around at my small apartment in West New York.

“I know its small, but its mine and its home, and no one can sell it our kick us out.”

Marco had stayed true to his word. By Monday morning my parents were contacted stating they had a week to move out. With everything I had, I began the fighting process to win this battle against Marco. I knew he would never keep a house in New Jersey. It was only a matter of time before he sold it and I was going to be the first one in line to buy.

After leaving Marco’s house the night of my birthday I walked to the subway, through Manhattan, to the Path line until I was home. The two-hour commute gave me perspective, gave me hope. The will to fight back. I was disgusted and angry with myself but I was ready to fight. Marco was going to sell my parent’s home, and when he did I was coming in ready.

I consulted with Samantha. She stated that if I wanted the deal to stick I would have to buy my parent’s house with cash. I only had a little over a hundred thousand from when Marco bought me out of the condo, not nearly enough to buy the house. Melanie advised me to borrow against my 401k, so I sold all the shares that I had with Express Medical that I had earned after I was fully vested into the company. With each paycheck I also had a small percentage pulled out and each quarter I bought additional shares. I sold all of my designer shoes and handbags online.
Which hurt so much.
I was now living paycheck to paycheck. I only had enough money in the bank to cover my next six months of rent. That was it.

But I did it. I had the cash to buy my parents home. I rented a studio apartment in West New York -- it was in a terrible neighborhood, but it was all I could afford. My parents were going to stay there until I was able to close on their home.

“It is really tiny” Melanie placed the last of the boxes on the floor.

“I know, Mel, but this is what I need.”

“I still can’t believe you are doing all of this for a house.” Caitlyn said sitting on the floor of my open space studio style apartment.

“I have no choice, Caitlyn, my parents have no place to go, and it’s not fair that they lose everything because of that asshole.”

“You know, A, you are really an amazing daughter.” Caitlyn said to me.

I smiled at Caitlyn unpacking the boxes. My parents were amazing, always giving me exactly what I wanted. This was the only way I could repay them. The money to purchase the house was in the bank and Samantha was waiting for the house to go on sale, before she purchased it as my POA.

⌘

I didn’t know how but Melanie had convinced me to join her for her company Halloween party. When she first brought it up back in September, she stated that I had to stop being anti-social and mingle with other people. At the time I thought it was a good idea but as I stood there in a cat woman costume, I was secretly cursing her for one, bringing me, and two, for making me wear this skin-tight latex costume. Melanie was busy making the rounds conversing with all of her brokers and potential new clients. I was trying not to be anti-social by standing near the bar and watching the ESPN recap of this week’s news in sports.

“Hmmm look at that pussy…. cat.” His voice screamed sex. I looked at him and there before me was a tall man standing well over six feet dressed in scrubs. His nametag said
Gynecologist –Specialist in Female Body Inspection
. Any other time in my life I would be extremely attracted to this type of man, but at this point in my life I was annoyed that he had used such a cheesy pick up line to approach me.

I flicked his nametag. “Really creative, not only with the costume but the pick-up line too. How about next time you try ‘Hey baby, you must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night’ that should work.” I said sarcastically, looking back to the TV

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so cheesy but I had no idea how to approach you. You have this ‘don’t fuck with me face,’ I didn’t know exactly how to go around that. I’m sorry if I offended you. Can I buy you a drink?”

I agreed to the drink. What was the harm in one drink, at least I wouldn’t be standing here all alone.

“I’m Chris by the way.” He extended his hand out to me.

“Alani.”

The bartender walked over and poured us both a shot. I raised my shot glass to his before bringing it to my mouth. The tequila warming my insides, I place my empty shot glass on the bar counter and the bartender handed me over another vodka sprite. Chris turned out to be a nice guy. He, like Melanie, was an account manager but not for life insurance. He was worked for a Health Insurance company. He worked long hours, liked to travel, liked football, and dining out at different mom and pop restaurants. Wanted kids, a house in the suburbs with a white picked fence. Not that I asked, he just cared to inform me.

Our conversation was all one sided. The bartender poured us a few more shots and I drank and listened to Chris go on and on all about himself. To any other girl he would be great; to me he was nothing when comparing him to Ryan.

My eyes started to get glassy as the tequila starting to have an effect on me. I pulled out my phone and sent Melanie a quick text message informing her that I was ready to leave.

“Listen, Chris, it was a pleasure to meet you but I need to get going.” I cut him off mid-sentence.

“Would I be able to take you to dinner sometime?” He said politely.

“I have too much baggage attached to me. You should run for the hills actually. Thank you for your company though.”

I turned and bumped right into Melanie. “Who is the hottie?” She eyed him up and down.

“Some guy who I think works with you, Chris something, talks a lot.” I was bored even remembering what he said.

“Are you going to see him again?”

I looked at her. “Seriously?”

“What? You’re supposed to be moving on and he looks like a good one to move on to.” A sexy smirk appeared on her face.

“No I’m too busy with work and getting ready for school to move on to anything right now.” Melanie looked over her shoulder and waved goodbye to Chris. Clearly he was her type. I smiled to myself, hopefully they could get together.

Mid November

Sunday afternoon and I was still in bed enjoying the food network. Samantha had informed me two days ago that my parents’ house was legally mine. Marco had no idea who was purchasing the house since only our attorneys met at the closing and I had spent most of yesterday moving them back into their home.  My body tired from the move, I pulled the comforter around my shoulders, allowing my mind to relax. I finally had good news.

There was a cold front moving in so getting out of bed this early was out of the question. I didn’t have any work to catch up on so there was no need to move. I also spent the last few days getting all my applications for school ready for submission. I was applying not only for the alternate route but also for a masters program. If I consumed all my time in books and homework, my heart would begin to heal from the heartbreak.

Watching celebrity chefs compete in the finale for a top spot on the next All Star Chef- a show Ryan watched every weekend, I noticed my phone vibrating on my nightstand. I ignored it and let it ring. I had stopped answering my phone and had been letting all of my calls go directly to voicemail, screening each one before I answered. After moving into my shoebox-sized apartment, Sundays were now my days to ignore the world, eat junk food, and lie in bed all day.

My birthday was the last time I heard from Ryan so running to my phone wasn’t top on my list. I only almost called him once. On the Halloween after I met Chris, Melanie dropped me off at home and the liquor in my system made me weak. I pulled out my phone and just looked at his name on my contact list
<3 Ryan James Kraft<3.
I missed him. I missed his scent, his embrace and mostly his heart.  Running my finger over his name I decided it was time to delete it from my contact. Since I knew he wasn’t the one calling, I didn’t care to run to the phone anymore.

My phone began to vibrate again, and again I chose to ignore it. When it started vibrating for the fourth time I figured it must be important. As I rolled over and reached for my phone it began to vibrate again. I looked at the screen and I began to have cold sweats.
Incoming call from Michael.

 
      I swiped my thumb over the screen and brought my phone to my ear.

“Hello?” I said, my voice shaky.

“Alani, its Mike, there’s been an accident. It’s bad, he really needs you.” It felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.

“I’m on my way.” I said kicking my way off the bed.

“We are at Memorial Hospital.” He said. I hung up the phone darting for my closet.

Chapter 18
Stephen

I
quickly gathered my belongings; throwing everything I could think of in my suitcase and closing it shut. My heart was racing with fear.
Please God let him be ok.

I called Katie as I changed out of my pajamas. She answered on the third ring. “Hello?” Her voice on the other side of the phone comforted me.

“Katie, are you home?” I said breathlessly into the phone. Quickly running around my room grabbing anything that caught my attention as a necessity.

“No why? What’s wrong?” she questioned, waiting for me to respond.

“Michael just called me, there was an accident, and he said Ryan needs me. I’m on my way to my airport.” I said dragging my suitcase to the kitchen.

“Fuck, I had to come into the office today. I’m leaving now, I’ll be there in 15 minutes to take you.”

I hung up the phone and watched the minutes go by, each minute that passed was a minute that I was not there with him. I didn’t let Michael get into details before I hung up. All I knew was that they were at the hospital. I didn’t know who was hurt or how serious the conditions were. I just prayed that everything was ok. I knew Michael wouldn’t have called me if something serious didn’t happen to Ryan.

Seconds felt like minuets and minutes became hours. I sat on the steps outside my apartment waiting for Katie to arrive. I had called the airline and booked the first flight out of Newark to Fargo. Being that Grand Forks was such a small city there usually weren’t many flights traveling there.

Katie’s tire screeched as she pulled up next to the curb. She had her trunk popped open, I ran over placing my suitcase inside before jumped inside the passenger seat.

“It’s going to be ok Ally.” She said, still seeing the panic on my face. “Look at me Alani! Everything is going to be ok.” I looked at her nodding, but I couldn’t stop the gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I wiped the tears away from my eyes. “God, I hope so.”

We arrived at Newark Airport and I said goodbye to Katie, thanking her yet again for bringing me to the airport. I went through check in and security, annoyed that it was taking longer then expected. I tapped my foot each time I had to wait longer than sixty seconds. Surprisingly though, the airplane was on time and I boarded quickly and silently prayed for everyone to find his or her seats so we could get going.

When we land in Fargo I darted out of the airplane, running for the baggage claim. Not once apologizing to anyone I bumped into. I couldn’t focus on politeness; I just needed to get to Ryan. I located my bag and ran over to the car rental counter, renting the same truck I had when I first came here. I thanked the receptionist, loaded the car and hit the road towards Memorial hospital. The skies were dark and gray, not at all like I remembered it. When I left there were leaves on the trees and life in the sky. Now everything looked gray and cold