Divine Phoenix (9 page)

* * * *

Nearly a week after her arrival in Clay’s home, Lily sat waiting on the exam table in Doctor Guthrie’s clinic. The paper shirt and sheet she had draped over her rustled with her movements.

She and Clay had settled into a routine of sorts. The first day or two of “rest” had been stressful. Uppermost in her mind was her fear that JT wasn’t done with his demonstration of dominance and ownership of her. Clay had told her he would protect her from JT, but what if JT found out where she was living and showed up while Clay was at work?

That thought had been unnerving, and on several occasions she’d found herself sitting on the couch, with the blinds and drapes closed, wringing her hands, her heart pounding and dizziness assailing her. For something to do one day, she’d pulled out a blank book she’d intended to use as a journal years before and her feelings about the adjustment had poured out onto the pages.

She’d told Clay about the panic attacks, and he’d suggested that she sit down and write the moment she felt one coming on. So it hadn’t surprised her when the journal slowly morphed into letters to him.

Lily found a lawyer who got the ball rolling on her divorce, and Clay had suggested they get in touch with Jack Warner, a friend of his who was a building contractor. She felt like she was making real progress.

The stranglehold of tension at not constantly working and pushing herself had finally begun to unravel so she was able to relax in the evening. Clay had been patient and kind, unchanging in his moods.

When he came home from work every evening, Clay was unperturbed when he found her on the couch, reading, or writing in her journal. JT would’ve gone on a rampage, claiming he’d been on his feet working all day and who did she think she was, lying around eating bonbons.

She’d voiced that thought to Clay, and the next day he’d teasingly brought her chocolates and a sexy romance novel. They’d laughed over it, and she’d felt even closer to him. Understood. And she’d really enjoyed the novel as well. The peace of his home had gradually sunk into reality.

“Earth to Lily.”

Startled from her reverie, Lily jumped and squeaked when she looked up. A beautiful, tall woman clad in a blue silk blouse, knee-length skirt, heels, and a white doctor’s coat stood before her.

A flush heated Lily’s cheeks as she smiled and laughed. “I’m sorry, I was daydreaming.”

“They looked like pleasant dreams judging by the smile on your face,” Doctor Guthrie said as she removed her glasses and polished the lenses before putting them back on. “You look much better than the last time I saw you.”

Lily rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. “Ugh. I can only imagine. Thank you, by the way. Clay told me that you were the first medical professional on the scene.”

Doctor Guthrie nodded and removed the stethoscope from around her neck. “Yeah. We happened to be behind you as you drove through town. You gave me a start when you slumped over behind the wheel. I’m glad you’re okay.” She breathed on the bell of the stethoscope and then applied it to Lily’s chest. “Breathe in. Out.”

The basic exam continued as they chatted for a few minutes about her symptoms and recovery from surgery. “Doctor Burns explained to me about losing one of my Fallopian tubes.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a baby. It’s just going to require some diligence on your part.” Doctor Guthrie consulted her chart. “You’re thirty-eight now, so you still have a few years if you want to have children. Go ahead and scoot down to the end of the table.”

Lily had requested the works because it had been years since her last gynecological exam. After the pelvic exam and Pap smear were done, the doctor examined her incision and removed the stitches. Lily bit her lip and her face flamed as the doctor paused and ran a gentle, gloved fingertip over the tattoo above her mound.

“Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll be right back. Oh. Did you want to start on birth control pills?”

Lily paused and then nodded.
Might as well
. The doctor smiled and left the room so Lily could put her clothing back on. Doctor Guthrie returned a few minutes later with sample packs of oral contraceptives and some pamphlets. She plopped onto the rolling stool and scooted over to Lily.

“Your pelvic exam was normal. Your Pap smear will take a few days to get results back. The incision site looks just fine. Doctor Burns did a great job and your scarring will be minimal. You can resume normal activities, within reason.”

Lily smiled. “So I can start working now?” At the doctor’s nod she asked, “Can I exercise? Clay has an elliptical machine I’d like to use. I need to lose weight.”

The doctor nodded. “Yes. Within reason. No training for marathons, though.”

Lily rolled her eyes and chuckled. “I’m just anxious to get started…Now that I’m starting over.”

“Will you be in Divine long?”

“This is my hometown. I’m back for good. I have a house I’ll be working on making livable, but in the meantime I’m staying with Clay.”

“I’d like to talk to you about the other information in your medical file.” At Lily’s cautious nod she continued. “I remember seeing old bruises on your face at the accident scene. The question of whether you’ve suffered domestic violence is moot now, judging by what I can see here. Your old medical records indicate you’ve suffered a concussion and several broken bones over the years. I saw scarring on your back and under your left breast when I examined you.”

Heart pounding, Lily finally gave voice to the words. “Yes. My husband—ex-husband—abused me. I left him last week. I’m divorcing him.”

“How are you coping?”

Lily looked at her hands, unsure how much information Emma really wanted. “I talk to Clay…and I’ve been writing in a diary. That probably sounds pretty lame…”

Emma patted her forearm. “Actually that’s a very productive step toward healing. I’m glad Clay’s there for you. He’s one of the good guys, which I’m sure you already know.”

Boy, do I ever.

“Keep journaling if it’s helping. I’ll refer you to a counselor because it’s likely that you’re suffering with PTSD. Layla Walker is a professional therapist here in Divine whom you can talk to about what’s happened to you. She’s very experienced with survivors of domestic abuse.” Emma handed her a business card and a pamphlet on the subject. “I can also give you a referral if you’d like to have laser tattoo removal done. Success of the procedure is limited by the size, type of ink, and depth of the tattoo.”

I’m willing to have the thing cut out if I have to.
“Actually, I would very much like to have it removed. Is surgery an option?”

Emma’s brow wrinkled, and she handed her a pamphlet about the laser procedure. “Yes, but you’d have a lot of scarring and I’m not sure a surgeon would agree to it because of the large area it covers. I’d try laser removal first. There’s one other option, but first I want to ask a question. How did you feel about getting the tattoo,
before
it was done? Were you willing?”

Lily swallowed, a little embarrassed as she recalled her eager acquiescence to JT, early in their marriage. Doctor Guthrie would probably think she was a total flake for getting tattooed without first approving the design. “Actually, I was all for it. I don’t have a problem with tattoos in general, but I thought it was going to be something pretty. He said he wanted to surprise me, that I would like it. In the beginning, I loved how dominating he was. It made me feel safe, like he had everything under control. I probably should’ve had my head examined for liking that about him. He told me to trust him and I was…really stupid. Naïve.”

Emma frowned. “You put your trust in someone who hurt you. It happens, but I don’t think you’re stupid. The reason I asked about your willingness is that you might be able to have the tattoo redone. It would still be large, but it would be a design of your choosing and another step away from your old life. There’s a new tattoo artist in town who opened shop recently. Divine Ink or something like that. In any case, take your time making that decision. I just wanted to give you options.”

“Thank you, Doctor Guthrie.”

“Call me Emma.”

“Thank you, Emma,” Lily stammered then grinned, feeling relieved. “Clay said…”

Emma chortled. “Clay said what?”

“He told me I’d like you.” She held up the pamphlets and the card. “I’ll give this some thought.”

“Get in to see the counselor. I think she’d do you a lot of good.”

Lily walked out of Emma’s clinic feeling more alive and stronger than ever. Clay leaned against his truck, talking on his cell phone. It had been a long time since Lily had paid attention to a man’s physique because if JT had caught her there would’ve been hell to pay.

Now, every time she was around Clay, she noticed little things about him, like the way he held his phone just now. His hands looked strong and capable, yet gentle. His faded jeans fit his muscular body in a way that made her cheeks grow warm, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from scanning his groin area, which seemed very nicely proportioned judging by what she could see.

He gave her a warm, affectionate smile and opened her door when she approached. She was almost overwhelmed by the urge to go straight to him, knowing he’d wrap his strong arms around her if she did, but something held her back. She didn’t want him to think she was a baby who needed coddling.

“All right, Jack. I’ll tell Lily.” He ended the call and put his phone in his pocket.

“Tell me what?” She pulled herself up into the seat with hardly any discomfort at all.

“First tell me how your appointment went,” he said as he started the truck. The stereo played mutedly in the background.

“Emma said I could start work, and I could begin exercising at home, but no weights yet. She also suggested a counselor.”

She smiled when Clay turned up the volume for her as Kelly Clarkson’s “Mr. Know It All” began to play. He knew she liked that song. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever get used to him doing nice things just because he wanted to. Deep down, she hoped she had a chance to get used to it
. Down the road. First things first
. Tattoo removal and weight loss had to come next, then finishing her education.
A whole new me.

“I think the counselor would be a good idea, Lily. You’ve done great with your journaling and it’s gotten easier for you to talk about what happened in the past. It would probably speed you on the road to recovery. I’m starving. You want to grab some lunch in town with me?”

Lily nodded enthusiastically and sang along with the song quietly,
“You ain’t got the right to tell me, When and where to go, no right to tell me, Acting like you own me lately, Yeah baby you don’t know a thing about me, you don’t know a thing about me…”

Clay clasped her hand in his, and she smiled at him, feeling like she could handle just about anything. “Once I know my schedule and get the appointment with the lawyer out of the way, I’ll get in touch with the counselor. My funds are limited right now so I need to be careful.” Clay looked like he wanted to say something but then simply nodded and kept driving. “What did your friend want you to tell me?”

“Jack Warner can meet us one day early next week at the house to take a look around. He’s bringing Adam Davis with him.”

“Who?”

“Adam Davis. He’s a heating and air-conditioning contractor. He does electrical work, too. He’s also Grace Warner’s…”

“What?”

“I never finished explaining the other day. I keep forgetting that you’re new to the area.”

“I am not,” she said as Clay smiled at her playfully.

“Some aspects of Divine you’re new to. Adam is also Grace’s husband.”

Huh?
“I thought she was married to Jack.”

“She is. I was going to tell you all about this when I showed you Lydia’s statue. There are a number of polyamorous groups in Divine. They’re discreet about it, though. I have a feeling you’ll know a number of them soon enough.”

“Grace has two husbands? All that extra cooking and housework…keeping up with
two
men?”

Looking like he was bracing himself, Clay replied, “Actually, it’s three husbands.”

“
Huh
? Is that legal?
That’s
not legal.”

“It’s not legal to be married in a state-sanctioned ceremony to more than one person. Theirs is more of a…spiritual union. They bound their hearts to each other. She is legally married to Jack, but as far as they’re concerned, they are all four, men and wife.”

Lily had a hard time wrapping her mind around that concept. “And she agreed to this willingly?”
What kind of loon takes on three husbands? Wonder Woman? The dirty laundry alone would kill me!

Clay grinned and nodded. “Yes. She did. I actually designed and created all their rings.”

“But do the men…you know.”
Shut up! Their sex life is soooo none of my business!

“
No
! No, nothing like that,” Clay said as he burst into laughter. “I’m going to tell Jack you said that. He’ll laugh his ass off!”

“You better not, Clay Cook.”

“The men are all cousins, I think. They’re distantly related and have grandparents in common way, way back. When you meet Grace, you can ask her how she handles having three husbands. I think the answer might surprise you.”