Doctor January (21 page)

Beth looked around the bar in the staff club. It was still early and there was no one there. She had just finished her first session with the counsellor and was still feeling raw and exposed. It had been odd talking to a stranger about the things that Gordon did. It was reassuring that the counsellor had listened carefully and told her, in clear terms, that yes, Gordon had been bullying her and she was absolutely right to leave him. Hibs and Lara had been telling her the same thing for a long time, but it helped to hear it from someone outside of her social sphere. Someone with no vested interest in any of them.

Hibs was joining her there for a drink. She quickly checked the decking outside, but it was too overcast for anyone to be sitting out there. She was early and rather than sit in the bar by herself, she decided to go the lounge to see what was on TV.

The lounge was at the other end of the building and she had to pass the front entrance to get to it. A quick glance at the doorway told her Hibs wasn't there. She walked briskly past the various doors to the snooker room and toilets. She was almost there when she heard a sound behind her. Some sixth sense made her tense.

‘Beth,' said Gordon. ‘At last.'

Her heart raced. She hadn't seen Gordon since the night she'd run from him. She forced herself to take a deep breath and turn round. He was behind her, closer than she'd thought. ‘Gordon. What—'

‘I saw you come past. I followed you.' He examined her face, as though working out the weakest spot. ‘You haven't been returning my calls.'

Beth's throat felt like it was closing up. She cleared it. ‘Yes.'

‘Why? What's happened?'

She shook her head. It was hard to speak to him when her heart was trying to escape through her neck. How could she have ever found him attractive? The mouth that she'd thought so beautiful was twisted into a sneer. His eyes were thin and malevolent. Suddenly, she was acutely aware of how empty the place was. If she screamed, how long would it be before someone came running?

‘Look, Beth. I'm worried about you. You need help. You're turning away from your boyfriend—'

Beth clenched her fists. ‘You're not my boyfriend.'

‘Babe. See what I mean?'

She took a step back, petrified of him. While he still made her feel this way, she would never be free. ‘I'm not paranoid,' she said. ‘You … you abused me.'

He laughed. ‘I never did anything you didn't want me to do to you.'

‘You raped me.' She wanted to shout it, but it came out in a whisper.

‘That's slander,' said Gordon, his voice irritatingly reasonable. ‘And mental. You're having those paranoid delusions again. You should get some help for that. Maybe speak to your GP?'

He was doing it again. For a small, insane moment, she believed what he was saying.

‘I should have mentioned to your supervisor about your mental condition,' Gordon continued. ‘Maybe I still should.'

It was the mention of her work that did it. Something inside Beth clicked. ‘You used me. You bullied me, harassed me for weeks. And when I didn't do what you wanted, you raped me.' Her voice was stronger now. This was how Gordon operated. He said his piece with such conviction that she believed him. Well not any more. Hibs was right. He did it because he could get away with it. There was only one way to stop it. ‘There's a term for that, you know. It's called abuse. I'm going to report you to the police.'

Gordon sneered. ‘Don't be silly.'

Behind Gordon the light changed. Beth glanced over his shoulder to see Hibs enter the corridor, very quietly. Relief flooded her body. She glared at Gordon. ‘We'll let the authorities decide that.'

Gordon's arm drew back. Hibs moved so fast that Beth could barely work out what happened. Suddenly Gordon was on the floor, his arm twisted behind him, with Hibs leaning over him.

‘Oh. I should have guessed. The nerd in shining armour.' Gordon sneered.

‘I don't think you're in any position to be insulting people,' said Hibs. He looked up at Beth. ‘Okay?'

‘Yes.' She took a step towards Gordon. ‘Stay away from me, Gordon. And if you do anything to Mila, or anyone else, I will support them in pressing charges. They may not believe one of us, but two …'

‘I don't know what you're talking about, you mental bitch.'

‘Now, now.' Hibs moved and Gordon's face twisted with pain. ‘Apologise.'

Gordon growled through clenched teeth. Hibs moved Gordon's arm a fraction. ‘I can break your arm, you know,' he said conversationally. ‘Now apologise.'

Gordon said nothing and Beth saw Hibs's face harden. His jaw was clenched. She felt a flash of panic that he would make good his threat. Gordon deserved everything he got, but Hibs had never hurt anyone on purpose. She couldn't let him start now.

‘Hibs.' She shook her head.

There was a moment before Hibs blinked. It was as though he was seeing through a mist. He inclined his head to show he'd understood.

‘The only reason I'm not breaking your arm right now is because Beth wouldn't like it.' Hibs twisted, making Gordon grunt. ‘Now, if I find that you've been anywhere near her again, I will come back and finish the job. Understand?' When Gordon didn't respond, he moved the arm some more. ‘Understand?'

Gordon gasped and nodded. Hibs motioned Beth to get behind him. She moved quickly. Hibs let go of Gordon and stepped back. Gordon stood up, rubbing his wrist. ‘I could do you for assault.'

‘What assault?' said Hibs. ‘I didn't see anything, did you, Beth?'

‘No.' She kept her eyes on Gordon. She didn't trust him not to leap at her.

Gordon's eyes flicked as he checked for CCTV cameras and witnesses. There were none. Beth realised that he had deliberately chosen this place to threaten her so that he wouldn't be seen. It had worked against him.

Hibs's mouth curved into a smile, but his eyes didn't change. ‘Well, I wish I could say it was nice seeing you, Gordon, but it wasn't. Let's hope we don't see you again.' He turned to Beth. ‘What say we go somewhere else for that drink? I've gone off the atmosphere in this place.'

‘Yes. Me too.'

They turned and walked back to the main doors. It was all Beth could do not to break into a run. Hibs strode along beside her. Neither of them looked back. It was only when they were out of the door that Hibs said, ‘Are you all right?'

She felt better than she had done in ages. Okay, Hibs had come to rescue her, but she had faced Gordon down. She would go to the police. Gordon should not be allowed to do this to anyone else. ‘I'm fine. You?'

Hibs didn't say anything as he unlocked his bike. She could see a pulse in his jaw, and the tension in the set of his shoulders. He was angry, but she wasn't frightened like she would have been with Gordon. ‘Do you want to go for a drink somewhere else?'

Hibs shook his head. ‘I'm sorry, Beth. I'm not sure I'd be good company today. Maybe it's best if I just head home. I need to calm down a bit.'

She put her hand on his arm. ‘I'll come with you.'

By the time they got back to his house, the shock of confronting Gordon had eased and Beth was practically dancing with the adrenaline rush. ‘You were amazing,' she told Hibs.

‘Thank you.' He held the door open for her and followed her in. ‘I think you were doing pretty well by yourself.'

‘You think?'

‘If he'd tried to hit you, you would have run away, right?'

She thought back to the terrible, paralysing fear. Would she have run? She realised that yes, she would have at least tried. But she hadn't needed to. She was no longer afraid of Gordon. She was finally free from living under his shadow. She felt like she'd been let out of prison.

‘First rule of self-defence,' said Hibs. ‘If you have the chance to run away, get the hell out.' He took out glasses and a bottle of wine.

Beth nodded. She didn't know what else to say. Hibs clearly didn't share her sense of exhilaration.

She watched him carefully as he poured two glasses of wine. He slid one towards her and took a large gulp from the other. He was scowling. She could see the tension still in his jaw.

‘Hibs. Are you okay?'

He didn't look at her. ‘I'm okay.' He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘I'm sorry, Beth. I'm just fighting the urge to go back and hunt that bastard down. If I hadn't got there when I did … I just …' He opened his eyes and Beth saw the confusion of feelings in them. ‘If he'd hurt you, I would have broken his arms.' He took another gulp of wine.

Seeing Hibs, who was normally so unflappable, fighting to regain composure shocked Beth. Anger shot through her. Bloody Gordon. Bad enough he threatened her. But he had no right to affect Hibs like this. Her Hibs. Who was always there when she needed him. Who made her feel safe and wanted and strong. She was so angry she had a good mind to track down Gordon and beat him up herself. The strength of feeling surprised her. Why was she so protective of Hibs? The answer was there, waiting for her to find it. She loved him. She had loved him for months. Gordon's influence had masked it, but the attraction to Hibs had always been there. She had mistaken it for friendship.

Hibs finished his glass of wine and sighed. He seemed to be getting back to his normal self now. He leaned against the work surface, his long legs stretched out. Beth stepped into the gap between them and gave him a hug. Hibs wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She could hear his heart beating against her ear. ‘I love you,' she said.

Hibs went still. ‘Pardon?'

She leaned back so that she could look at him. ‘I love you,' she repeated.

The smile on his face could have melted an iceberg. Beth laughed. She took his face in her hands and kissed him. He kissed her back with ferocity. She reached inside his T-shirt and felt the sleek muscles underneath. A little shiver ran through him at her touch. She pulled at his top and he helped her pull it off him. Then he did the same with hers.

Still kissing, he moved her backwards into the living room until she landed on his sofa, displacing a pile of papers. He moved away from her lips and kissed his way down her body. Beth relaxed and let him work his magic. When he had carefully kissed, stroked and explored every part of her, he pulled her on top of him. Beth closed her eyes and felt the world explode in her head.

Clarissa had organised wine and nibbles for the launch of the WIS calendar. The bar in the Staff Club was crowded. All the men featured had been invited and Anna had arranged a display on one of the chrome tables so that she could sell the calendars.

Beth was apprehensive that Gordon might come to the event. She hadn't seen or heard from him since the incident in the corridor a few weeks before. She hoped she'd seen the last of him, but she kept an eye on the door anyway, just in case.

Clarissa wafted over and handed her a glass of wine. ‘Well done, Beth. I have to admit, I didn't think you'd manage it, but you've done a good job.'

Beth wondered if Clarissa realised how patronising that sounded. ‘Well thank you for your resounding endorsement.' She waited for Clarissa to move off, but she seemed to have something on her mind. ‘Can I help you with something?'

Clarissa looked down at her glass. ‘Well, actually, I was wondering if … er … is Dr April single? Do you know?'

The naked guy? ‘I think he is, let me ask Anna.'

‘No. No. Don't.' Clarissa's face flushed with what looked like panic. ‘It's okay.'

‘He's over there,' said Beth. ‘You could talk to him. Do you want me to introduce you?'

‘I …' Clarissa cast a quick glance across to where Dr April was chatting to Lara and, judging by Lara's polite expression, boring her.

‘Better to regret something you've done than something you haven't,' Beth said. Seeing Clarissa hesitate, she grabbed her arm. ‘Come on. He's really nice.'

She dragged Clarissa across the room. ‘Hi, Nick,' she said.

‘Oh, hello.' Dr April smiled, showing his even teeth.

‘Nick, this is Clarissa.' Beth steered her over. ‘She's the chairwoman of WIS. She works on hormones. Nick's work is on kinase cascades.'

‘I know,' Clarissa said. ‘I read the blurb on the calendar.'

‘Oh. Okay. I'll leave you to connect up the two parts of the signalling pathway, then. I'll just borrow Lara for a minute.'

As they walked off, Lara leaned in and whispered, ‘Thanks.'

‘You're welcome.' She studied her friend, noting that she looked a lot less teary than she had done in the weeks before. ‘How are things with you? You look … better.'

Lara nodded to acknowledge what she'd said, but didn't smile. ‘I'm improving,' she said. ‘It's hard. I miss him. But I'm getting better at living without him.'

Beth put a hand on Lara's arm and gave it a little squeeze. ‘It was the right thing to do then.'

Lara nodded. ‘Painful, but right. Yes.' She gave Beth a small smile. ‘I'll be okay. I'm getting on with stuff.'

They passed Anna, who was chatting up a random punter, persuading him to buy a calendar from her. ‘You could give it to your mum as a Christmas present,' she said.

The guy laughed. ‘Tell you what; I'll buy a calendar if you give me your phone number.'

‘Deal.'

Beth shook her head as Anna scribbled her number on a piece of paper. ‘Shameless.'

‘Seems to keep her happy.' Lara turned and studied her. ‘And you? How are you coping?'

‘I'm okay, actually. I've started writing up my thesis. I feel so much better about everything now that I know I'm not going to be stuck in Roger's lab forever.'

‘And how are things going with Hibs?' said Lara.

Beth smiled and glanced over to where Hibs was chatting to one of the other men from the calendar. ‘He holds my hand.'

Turning back, she saw that Lara looked puzzled. She had to explain. ‘When Gordon and I walked anywhere, he used to put his arm around my waist and sort of pull me to him.' She clamped her elbow to her waist to demonstrate. ‘It was really uncomfortable. Hibs doesn't do that.' She looked over to him again. ‘He holds my hand.'

‘You mean, he doesn't treat you like you belong to him,' said Lara. ‘It's called respect, Beth. I don't think you had much of that from Gordon.'

‘I know. I can't believe I didn't realise.' Beth shook her head.

‘At least you're rid of him now.'

Beth cast a quick glance towards the door as another group of people came in. ‘Although, I'm a bit concerned that Gordon might show up today.'

‘He wouldn't dare try anything here. Not with all those people around. Just don't go anywhere by yourself. Not even the loo, okay?'

Beth nodded. ‘I know.'

She spotted Dan Blackwood enter the room, closely followed by a teenaged girl. Beth caught his eye and waved. He came over.

‘I've got your prints for you,' she said when he'd come near. She retrieved the bag from behind Anna's stall and handed it to him.

‘Thank you.' He handed her an envelope. ‘There's your cheque.'

‘Come on, Dad, open it.'

Beth turned her attention to Dan's daughter. Now that she'd figured out who she was, Beth could see the resemblance. She peered around Dan at the photos.

‘Wow. Did you take those?' she asked Beth.

‘I did.'

‘They're great.' She nudged her father. ‘Dad, they make you look kinda dashing and Indiana Jones. No wonder Mum didn't want you in the calendar.'

Dan tutted and rolled his eyes. ‘I'll get you a drink. What do you want?'

‘Rum and Coke?'

‘You can have just Coke.' He headed for the bar, leaving his daughter standing next to Beth, holding the photos.

‘Dad was really disappointed when Mum told him he had to pull out,' the girl said. ‘I'm glad we've at least got the photos.'

‘I'm sorry your mother felt that way. It really isn't that sort of calendar.'

‘Oh, I know,' said the girl. ‘These guys are all, like, old.'

Beth tried not to laugh. To a teenager, they probably did look ancient.

‘Do you do events?' said the girl suddenly.

The change of direction in the conversation threw Beth. ‘Pardon?'

The girl gave an impatient tut. ‘Do you do wedding photographs?' she said, slowly and clearly.

Did she? Why not. She supposed she could.

‘My uncle's getting married in the autumn,' the girl continued. ‘They need a wedding photographer and if you can make Dad look all cool and brooding, then you can probably make Uncle Tom look like sex god of the year.'

Beth borrowed Anna's pen and wrote her e-mail address out on a piece of paper. ‘Here. Just ask him to e-mail me.'

Beth watched the girl make her way back over to her father. A new avenue to explore. Maybe even a new career – this time doing something she knew she genuinely enjoyed and was good at. A grin forced itself onto her face.

‘What was that all about?' said Anna.

‘I think I might have just been approached for my first commission,' Beth said, still grinning.

‘Cool.'

‘Do you want to take a break? I'll do the calendar stall for a bit.'

‘Really? Oh brilliant. I've been dying to get out there and circulate.' Anna scanned the room. She gestured, discreetly, to a handsome man by the bar. ‘So I think I'll start over there.'

Beth laughed. ‘Good luck.'

It was fun standing behind the stall. People came up to her and asked her questions or complimented her about her photography. She accepted the compliments without denying them like she normally would have done. A few of the women came to ask her about the guys in the photos. She politely deflected them saying all she knew was what was on the calendars. Despite her and Anna's good intentions, the calendar seemed to have acted as a singles ad. She glanced over at Dr April, now deep in conversation with Clarissa, and Dr August, surrounded by a small crowd and clearly loving all the attention. No one seemed to be complaining.

A girl approached, holding a glass of wine. Beth's heart gave a lurch of recognition. It was Mila, Gordon's other girlfriend. No. Gordon's girlfriend. There was no ‘other' about it now.

Mila examined the calendar, leafing through the sample, and Beth took the opportunity to study her. She was slim and pretty, just like in her picture on the website. Up close, Beth could see she was also petite and had an air of vulnerability about her. Yes. She was Gordon's type. Beth wondered if she had any suspicions of Gordon's other life. The one he'd pretended to share with Beth.

‘Would you like to buy a calendar?' said Beth.

Mila looked up, her eyes big and apologetic. ‘I'd love to, but I don't think my boyfriend would approve.'

‘Really? Why not?'

Mila looked away. ‘He thinks the men who agreed to do this are all posers.'

Did he now? She wondered what he would have said if he'd managed to smarm her into including him in it. ‘What do you think?'

Mila's gaze drifted back to the calendars stacked up on the table. She made eye contact for the first time. ‘I think it's just a bit of fun.'

‘You should buy one then.'

Mila shook her head. ‘Probably not a good idea, no.' She gave Beth a little smile and ambled off.

Beth stared after her. Mila clearly had no idea about her. Gordon had been lying and cheating on her all this time and now he was doing the same to Mila. She thought about what else Gordon had done and a shiver ran down her spine. She couldn't let someone else go through that. ‘Wait!' she shouted. But Mila was already on her way out.

Beth caught the eye of one of the other women from the group and waved her over. ‘Can you take over for a bit,' she said. ‘I'll be back in five minutes.' Weaving through the people in the room, she ran after Mila.

Mila was already half way down the corridor on her way out.

‘Mila!' Beth shouted. Mila stopped and turned. ‘There's something I need to tell you.'

‘How do you know my name?' Mila was looking at her sideways, with suspicion.

‘Doesn't matter.' She was out of breath from running. ‘Listen. I need to tell you something. About Gordon.'

‘Gordon?' Mila's big eyes widened further. ‘Who are you?'

‘My name's Beth Tyler. I'm …' What could she say? Perhaps the truth was easiest. ‘I'm Gordon's other girlfriend. Or was, anyway.'

‘What?'

‘Until recently, until two weeks ago, I was going out with Gordon. I had no idea about you. Gordon told me he was at swimming training every evening when he wasn't with me. I was at work so I didn't think to check.'

‘Look,' said Mila. ‘If this is some sort of joke, it's not very funny.'

‘It's no joke. Honestly. I—'

‘I don't have to listen to this.' She turned to go but Beth grabbed her arm.

‘Please. You don't have to believe me, but please listen to me. I went out with Gordon for a long time until he went to the US. When he came back, we got back together. A few weeks ago. I had no idea about you. He lied to me and manipulated me. He did stuff and then pretended I'd imagined it.'

Mila's eyes darted around, looking for rescue.

‘He tried to …' She couldn't bring herself to mention him suffocating her. It was too weird. Too intimate. ‘I was supposed to go to the department dinner with him two weeks ago and I cancelled. He was so angry he attacked me.' She was speaking as fast as possible. ‘I've reported him to the police. I've got a non-molestation order—'

‘Let go of me.' Mila's voice was pleading. ‘Please.' She sounded frightened.

Oh god, Gordon was going to wreck this girl. ‘Mila, Gordon's a bully. He gets off on intimidating people more vulnerable than he is. He tried to kill me. And then he tried to make out I was getting paranoid. I thought I was going crazy. He—'

Mila prised Beth's fingers off her arm and turned and fled. Beth didn't follow her. As Mila pushed through the door, Beth saw her look over her shoulder at her. Then she was gone.

Mila had been frightened by her. She probably thought Beth was some sort of nutter. But at least she'd tried to warn her. And if Mila ever got to the point where she doubted her own sanity, she might now consider that there was another explanation.

Footsteps came down the corridor. Beth tensed and turned, half expecting to see Gordon.

It was Hibs. He put a hand on Beth's shoulder. ‘I heard. Well done.'

‘She's going to tell Gordon,' said Beth.

‘You never know. She might have recognised enough in what you said to keep it to herself.'

‘I tried,' said Beth.

‘I know.' Hibs gave her a hug. ‘Well done, Tyler. I'm proud of you.'

Beth smiled into his shoulder. ‘Thanks. I'm proud of me too.'

‘Do you feel up to going back in?'

‘Yes.' They turned and walked side by side down the corridor. As they reached the door, he took her hand.