Don’t Forget to Remember Me (6 page)

“Yes. You don’t have to come back for my
walk either. Dad can help me.”

“Julia,” I admonished her.
“I
want
to help you,
okay?”

She smirked. “Okay. Is this you being a
moody ass?” she quipped.

“Uh…yeah,” I acknowledged.
“And, no more arguments from your
stubborn
ass.” We both were laughing lightly.

“Okay.”

“You
will
have them page me when it’s time for your walk,
right?” I cupped her face in my hand and bent down to kiss her
forehead, closing my eyes as I felt her warm skin beneath my
lips.

“Okay. Take your
time.
Obviously
, I’m not going
anywhere.” There was fear behind her eyes, even as she tried to
joke around.

I took her hand and looked at her seriously.
“Julia, I know this is a little scary, but it will pass, okay? Do
you trust me?”

“Yes. I mean, I don’t even know you, but…I
feel like I can trust you.”

I smiled and held her
hand. “That’s because you
do
know me, honey. I’ll never let anything hurt you,
I promise.” It was the truth, but I felt like I was lying to her by
not telling her what we really meant to each other. She swallowed
and her eyes burned into mine, holding my gaze. I felt as if I were
drowning and the only way to save myself was to kiss her mouth and
share her breath.

“Later, when you come back, will you tell me
about us? About the time I’ve lost? I’d like to remember.” Her eyes
were soft and searching and she was slightly trembling.

“You will. I promise, okay? You just need
time. Until then, we’re all here for you.” I brushed my thumb along
her jaw line in a whisper soft touch and bent to kiss her forehead.
“I’m so happy you’re okay. Shit, I was scared. I don’t know what I
would have done,” I said against her skin and breathed in her
scent. Her little hand wrapped around my wrist and as I pulled back
from her I squeezed her hand.

“We must be really good friends. You make me
feel…very safe and happy. It was nice to meet you.”

My heart squeezed
painfully again. “You mean it was nice to
see
me. And yes, we’re very close.”

She smiled and nodded. “Okay, yeah.”

“Get some rest and do your best not to move
too suddenly, okay sweetheart?”

“Doctor’s orders?” she asked softly and
looked up at me with her large green eyes.

“Nope.
Ryan’s
orders. I’ll be back later,” I said
as I forced myself toward the door. The nurse with the pain
medication walked in as I left to go find the others.

In the hallway I was greeted with another
doctor that I didn’t recognize. He didn’t work in trauma, so I’d
never seen him before. He was a few inches shorter than me with
dark hair and broad shoulders, maybe in his early thirties.

“Ryan Matthews?” he asked.

“Yeah?” I put my hands on my hips as I
stopped in front of him. “And you are?”

“Dr. Spencer Moore. Tom Brighton asked me to
consult on the Abbott case.”

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Moore.” I extended a
hand and he shook it warmly. “Consult in what capacity?”

“I’m a psychologist and psychotherapist. He
explained to me that Miss Abbott had a bad accident involving a
head injury, and also lost a child, is that correct?”

I’d managed to push that misery to the back
of my mind, but now the pain came back in a rush. I pinched the
bridge of my nose as my eyes closed. I quickly opened them and
focused on his face. “Yes. She has several injuries.”

“And memory loss?” I
nodded and he continued, “Well, after the MRI we’ll know more, but
Tom feels, based on the previous
two, there
is probably no physical reason and so it may be
psychological. Probably the loss of the child. I’m just here to
counsel her and help her talk through any feelings of confusion she
might have. Basically, to help her cope to the point
that
she
regains her memory.”

I didn’t say anything for a moment and the
silence was getting uncomfortable. I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Ryan, I’m told the young lady is your fiancée, so am I correct in
assuming that the child was yours?”

I dropped my eyes and nodded once. “Yes, it
was mine.”

“I’m so sorry for you both. If you need to
talk, please feel free to call me. It’s important to let her
remember on her own and since you can’t talk with Julia about this,
you may need an outlet.” He handed me his card with his office
numbers.

“Thank you. My family is here, and I’m
really just trying to concentrate on Julia right now, but maybe. I
appreciate the offer.”

“Julia…” he said her name and raised an
eyebrow. “A beautiful name.”

“She’s beautiful in every way. She’s
perfect.”

“She’s lucky to have someone so devoted.
This could be a tough road and she’ll need all the support she can
get. I’m going to go introduce myself to her now. I’ll keep you in
the loop.”

“Thanks. I have to get to my rotation. I’ll
check in several times today. Nice to meet you.”

We shook hands and I turned to leave at the
same time my mother and Ellie returned from down the hall.

“How did it go?” Elyse asked gently. The
concern on her face very apparent and I tried to reassure her.

“Pretty well, I think. She’s alert and her
eyes are clear. She’s going to be fine, Mom.” I ran a hand over my
face as my eyes blurred. “She’ll be fine,” I said again, more to
myself than to her.

“Are
you
okay?” Her worried eyes were
skeptical.

I nodded. “The most important thing is that
Julia is alive. I have faith that her memory will come back, so
it’s a waiting game. Dad and the other doctors don’t want us to
tell her too much. It’s best to just let her remember at her own
pace.”

Ellie grabbed my hand. I knew what was
coming next. “Ryan…” she began hesitantly but I didn’t want to get
into this conversation right now. I had to do my rounds and didn’t
need to fall apart.

“It’s okay. I know what you’re going to
say,” I said tightly as my jaw clenched and she squeezed my hand
again.

“I’ve never seen anyone as
in love as Julia is with you, sweetie. There is no way she’s going
to forget all you’ve meant to each other. I
know
she’ll remember.” Her voice was
cracking but her eyes never left my face.

“Thank you, Ellie. I know. That’s what I’m
holding onto right now.”

“She wanted that baby so much. She was so
happy; Ryan. All thoughts of leaving you and going to Paris were
gone. All she wanted was to see you. She was bursting to tell
you…couldn’t wait to get to Boston…” her voice dropped off.

The tightness in my throat threatened to
choke me and I blinked at the burning tears that wanted to invade
my eyes. I nodded and put my hand over my eyes, using my thumb to
wipe away a tear before it could fall. I felt Ellie’s arms slide
around my waist and my mother’s hand rested between my shoulder
blades. “Uhngggg…” I tried to clear the tears from my voice and I
swallowed hard. “I’m so pissed! It’s not fucking fair, is it?”

Her arms tightened and she pressed her face
into my chest and shook her head. “You’ll have more babies with
Julia, Ryan. And, they’ll be perfect.”

If I didn’t untangle from her and get to
work, I was going to lose it. My hands closed on her shoulders and
moved her out of my embrace before I angrily brushed another errant
tear from my face. “Look, Ellie, I have to stop being such a pussy
and get to work. I told Julia I’d be back for her walk, so I really
need to get going.”

A look of understanding spread across
Ellie’s face. “Okay. We can help if you don’t get back.”

“Thank you, but I want to be there for her.
See you later.” I turned and walked away. There was no way I
wouldn’t be back in time. I wanted Julia to know she could count on
me. Paul and Marin were walking back, and I could see they had both
been crying. Dad was behind them and he nodded at me, silently
communicating that he had told them about the loss of our baby. I
could tell by the way they were looking at me that they wanted to
talk to me about it, to offer comfort, but I couldn’t handle
it.

“I’m sorry. I just…I can’t talk about it
right now.” I ran a hand down Marin’s arm and she brought her other
hand to her mouth, closing her eyes in pain. I thought it was best
to give them the basics and get down to ER so I didn’t have a
meltdown.

“Julia is talking to a psychologist that Dr.
Brighton called in, but can you guys get it together before you go
in there? I don’t want her to see us all crying because it will
just make her ask questions and she might not be ready for the
answers.” I waited for them to answer. Paul just looked at me and
new tears trickled down Marin’s face. I needed to bail. “Look, I
gotta go. I love you all.”

I took one deep breath
after another as I made my way down to the ER and when I walked in
I had my emotions under control. Min, Liza and Tanner were there,
too. They all had questions in their eyes; their expressions were
full of sympathy. Even superficial Liza had sadness written all
over her face, but I ignored
them and
went
to find the chief resident so I could get right to work. It was
busy, with lots of patients and I was thankful for the workload.
The rooms
were full
and there were a few
in the area with curtained partitions. None of
the
others should have been standing around gawking
at me.

I turned and held out my
hands, shooting them a dirty look. “Hello? Don’t any of these
patients need attending to?” If they were pissed at me, they would
be less likely to make small talk. Liza’s face hardened,
she
threw down a clipboard and huffed off.

My lips twitched in the
start of a smile.
Excellent.
Min
pursed her lips upon seeing my smirk and Tanner just shook his
head. It had the desired effect, however
;
and
they scattered
, each one helping
a different doctor.

Dr. Clark was the
attending resident and,
with a skeptical gaze,
he handed me the chart of a kid who had fallen out of a tree
house. He was a short man with very dull brown hair and sharp blue
eyes, whom I respected.

“Dr. Brighton told us about Julia, Ryan,” he
began. “We all get it if you don’t want to be here.”

I shook my head. “No, she’s awake and alert.
I’m okay. I need to work. At least for a little while. Graduation
won’t wait for me and Julia wouldn’t want me to blow it when I’m so
close. She’d hand me my ass on a platter.” I knew that for a damn
fact.

Dr. Clark chuckled in response. “She sounds
like exactly what you need; someone as hard on you as you are on
yourself, Matthews.”

“She can be hard on me,
yeah, but oh so soft, too…depends on the situation.” I smiled and
pushed back the curtain
to face
the
screaming child and his parents.

My head and shoulder
ached. Every time I moved pain shot through my torso like nothing
I’d ever felt before. The scratching in my throat left the urge to
cough, but I fought against it. The few times that I couldn’t help
it, it hurt so damn
bad I
felt like
screaming.

I looked around at the
room. Typical hospital setting. A dry-erase board on the wall,
opposite the bed; the nurses’ names written on it with the
vital
statistics which were
updated
hourly.
The
television on the bracket near
the ceiling was too high to watch comfortably
.
To my right
, two IV bags dripped
silently. My left arm was in a sling and the tight bandages around
my ribs constricted my breathing. Thankfully
, the bed was elevated to prevent me from sliding down and
there were pillows propped under my arms.
I relaxed and my
mind wandered.
Where was everyone? Where were my parents and
Ellie? Where was…he?
My eyes filled with
tears.

The whole situation was confusing and
frightening; waking up with something gagging me, in pain, unable
to move and not knowing where I was. It was all very unnerving.

There had been the angel face and that
amazing voice crooning to me in low tones. He’d been holding me and
begging me to wake up…dragging me out of the darkness. There were
tears in his incredible blue eyes when he looked up at me. Deep
blue with aquamarine circles around the pupils, fringed with lots
of dark eyelashes. I couldn’t tear my own away as he told me to
stop struggling and that I would be fine. Something in those eyes
calmed me. I trusted those eyes.