Don’t Forget to Remember Me (8 page)

“Julia, we need to talk
about what’s going to happen now,” Gabriel said in a serious tone.
“Dr. Brighton feels if we can get you walking
and eating,
you should be able to go home in a day or two.
We’ve been talking and wondered what you would like to
do?”

I looked at the many expectant faces turned
toward me and wasn’t sure what to say. “I guess…I don’t know what
the options are.”

“Well, you can come home with me to San
Francisco, or go with your mother to Kansas City, as soon as you’re
well enough to travel. Ellie has offered to take you back to New
York and stay with you for a while.” Dad was concerned and my
mother’s face echoed his expression.

“Why are we doing this?”
Ryan interrupted. “Julia
is not
going to go to New York right now.” He sounded
angry and looked agitated. “There shouldn’t even be any discussion
about this. Her
doctors
are here in Boston
and
I’m
…” he
stopped. “Well, there are three of us here with medical training.
Who could take better care of her? We can toggle our shifts so that
someone is always with her. I’ve already discussed this with Aaron
and Jen, so can we move on, please?”

My mouth dropped open. It sounded like he
already had it planned.

“Ryan,” Gabriel admonished. He looked at his
son and then back to me. “Julia, I know you don’t remember them, so
would you feel comfortable doing that? We understand, if not.”

“Uh…” Ryan began. “Julia, I really think
this is the best solution.”

“Ryan.
Enough
,” Gabriel said sternly.
“Julia?”

I looked from my parents, to Ryan then
Gabriel.

Ellie stepped forward and took my hand.
“We’ll support you with whatever you want to do.”

“Fuck!” Ryan muttered and shoved his hands
in his pockets before leaning up against the wall and staring at
me.

Why is he so upset?

Elyse went to her son and put her hand on
his arm. “Ryan, calm down. This is just a discussion.”

“I thought you’d be on my side,” he said
under his breath, never taking his eyes off of me.

I opened my mouth to speak but struggled
with what to say; overwhelmed with everything and amazed at the
level of devotion being shown on my behalf. The blue fire in Ryan’s
eyes kept my attention. His jaw set, the muscle in it working
overtime.

“I hadn’t thought about it, but I appreciate
your willingness to help me.”

“Julia, we all love you,” Elyse said
softly.

I looked at my parents, wondering if they
would be upset if I chose to stay in Boston. Truthfully, I knew
that Ryan would take care of me and I should be with him. I didn’t
understand why I felt that way; I just knew it was so. Maybe it was
the gravity of his response or his conviction, but whatever it was,
it was real.

“I’d like to stay by the doctors. Dr. Moore
said he can help me remember.” I looked down at my lap and fought
back the pain and emptiness that overwhelmed me. “I can’t tell you
how sad I feel not remembering you.” My eyes flitted over Ryan and
then to Harris. “And, Aaron and Jen. How can I go back to a life
and job that I know nothing about? I think it’s in my best interest
to try to figure this out, so if it’s okay, I think I’ll stay
here.”

“
With me
? Julia, we’ll move you in
with us so that we can take care of you.” Ryan’s voice was filled
with panic and I realized that I hadn’t said where I’d stay. He
thought I meant in Boston, but maybe somewhere else.

I nodded ever so slightly and he drew in his
breath in a deep sigh. “Okay.” He looked pointedly at his father.
“Good.”

The room seemed tense, everyone quiet until
the door burst open, not so gently.

“Room service!” Aaron came in with a brown
paper bag and a Styrofoam cup with a straw sticking out of it. “One
Yuppie burger and Coke for our little Jules.” His huge body and
bright grin filled the small room. My mouth dropped open in
surprise as Ellie took the bag and began removing the food to
spread it out in front of me. My stomach audibly growled at the
wonderful smells.

“Did you get the rings?” Ryan asked. Onion
rings were my favorite.

“Dude. It’s
me
. What do you think?
You said rings, you got rings.”

It was surprising how huge the burger was.
“I’ll never be able to eat all of this,” I said as I started to
reach for one of the rings.

“Don’t expect you to, Jules. Ryan will help
with that. Standard operating procedure.”

My mother opened five or six of the ketchup
packets and emptied them onto the paper wrapper of the burger. I
dipped the ring into it and took a bite. “Wow. This is good.”

Everyone laughed as I tried to lift the
burger with one hand. It had Swiss cheese, mushrooms and bacon.
Again, my favorite. “Aaron, how did you know my dinner wasn’t fit
for dogs?”

“Seriously? Ryan texted
and asked me to go to Uburger and set you up. I gotta run
though,
‘cause
Jenna is
waiting.”

“Thanks for bringing this, Aaron. I owe you
one,” I said with my mouth full.

He laughed. “Two words,
Jules.
Blueberry
muffins
,” Aaron said as he walked toward
the door. “Blueberry muffins. Jen has lots of assets, but she can’t
cook like you.”

I remembered cooking more than my mother
when I was growing up. “No problem. When I can move, okay?”

Ellie, Harris, Elyse and Gabriel left
shortly after Aaron, leaving me in the room with my parents and
Ryan. He was sitting on the edge of my bed and I shoved some of the
food in his direction. He smiled and picked up an onion ring and
ate it.

“I guess I’ll take your mother out for
dinner, Julia.” My dad ran a hand down the back of my head. “We’re
so thankful you’re okay, baby.”

I wanted some time alone with Ryan so I
hoped he wouldn’t leave too soon. He’d had a long day, and probably
had homework to do.

“Um, okay. Mom…” I looked up at her and
smiled, trying to reassure her. “Let Dad take you out. I’m going to
be okay now that I have real food,” I joked and held up my cup
before bringing the straw to my lips. “I love you.”

When they left, Ryan remained on the bed
with me. “Do you want the television on?”

I put the drink down and shook my head. “Uh
huh. What’s texted?”

“What?”

“Aaron said you
texted
him about the
food. Is that some sort of code for something?” I took another bite
of the burger.

“Oh.” He chuckled. “It’s typing on your
phone. It works like a call, but you don’t talk, you type. The
words come across on the screen of the person you call…or text, as
the case may be.”

“Sounds weird.”

“You’re the queen of texting. We do it
constantly.”

“Really? Hmmm…” Ryan smiled and nodded. I
shoved the remaining two thirds of my burger at him. “Want
this?”

He smiled and picked it up. “Like you needed
to ask.” He took a big bite and I grabbed another onion ring. It
felt easy being with him even though I barely knew him. He picked
up the soda and took a pull on the straw. “Don’t worry, I don’t
have cooties.”

I laughed. “Something tells me I would have
your cooties by now if you did.”

His lips parted in a big grin.
“Definitely.”

“So…are you going to tell me about us?” I
asked hesitantly. He sat back a little and met my eyes. Ryan didn’t
seem in a rush to answer, like he was considering what to say.

“We’ve known each other since our freshman
year in undergrad.”

“Ellie told me that much.
But we share food and
cooties
, so…what else?”

He smiled and took another bite, and
shrugged. “Like I said, we’ve known each other a long time. We
don’t think we should tell you too much. It will be safer for you
to remember everything on your own. Can’t you just trust me?” His
comments were light and offhanded.

“That’s just it.” I rubbed
my wrist and his eyes followed my movements. “I do trust you, even
though I know nothing about you, but I’m
curious
. You can’t know how frustrating it
is not to know about your own life.”

“I told you today, we’re close. You’ve been
my best friend since the minute we met, okay?” He plopped the last
little bit of the hamburger down on the wrapper and went to the
sink to wash his hands.

“How did we meet?” I asked. He was telling
me some of it so I decided to keep on until he put a stop to
it.

“In Psych 101. Waste of academic effort. You
couldn’t stand that class.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I didn’t like it either, except we
used to write notes on each other’s notebooks. I can’t tell you too
much or you’ll laugh and hurt yourself.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the expression
on his face, but then he turned serious and looked intently into my
eyes. I had a strong urge to touch him and wished that he would
come closer so that I could.

“Hmmm…so best friends, huh?”

He licked his lips and looked away.
“Yep.”

“Like how?” I kept pushing, watching the
emotions flit across his face. He had a very strong brow and jaw
line, a perfectly straight nose. My heart sped up as my eyes fell
to the full lips.

“Are you feeling okay? Does your head still
hurt, honey?” Ryan asked.

“No, it doesn’t. Why won’t you answer me?” I
persisted with a frown.

“Julia. Let’s just concentrate on getting
you better, hmm?” He scooted closer and brushed his thumb along my
chin, electricity shot through me like a rocket. “There is plenty
of time for finding out about the past.”

Ugh!
“Why won’t you
tell me? Were we pals? Friends with benefits?” His eyes widened and
he drew back slightly. “Distant acquaintances?”

“No, no and
no
.” He stood up. “Ready
for that walk?”

“Tell me. Then I’ll walk.”

“Julia, you’re going to be
the death of me. What part of
we don’t want to influence
your memory
don’t you understand?” His voice
was coaxing and gentle, melting around me like honey.

“What’s the big deal? Was it so bad?”

“No. Not bad at all.” He
sighed and sat down again, taking my hand in his. “Like I
said,
we’re close
. Can’t you leave
it at that, please? You’ll remember soon and then it won’t be such
a mystery.”

I looked down at the hand holding mine. Ryan
rubbed his thumb across the top of my fingers.

“Hey,” he said softly and
squeezed harder when I wouldn’t look at him. We sat like that for a
few seconds until he sighed and finally spoke. “When I left for
medical school, you told me that I was the most important person in
your life.
It
was the same for me, and
that hasn’t changed, okay?”

My heart clenched inside my chest. I knew he
was important. I’d felt it since I first laid eyes on him. I nodded
but still wouldn’t meet his eyes. He bent and brushed his mouth on
my temple. “We take care of each other and I will always be here
for you, Julia.”

I turned my head slightly so my nose rested
against his cheek. He smelled of soap and cologne. Absolutely
delicious and strangely familiar. His hand came up to the side of
my neck and cupped the back of my head. “Okay,” I answered
softly.

“Now…how about that walk?”

The last few days had been joyous, painful,
amazing and freaking
long
. Julia was progressively improving
and I was spending as much time with her as I could. They’d taken
out the IV’s and the catheter and she was eating pretty well
considering her aversion to hospital food. She still stumbled at
times when she did her walking, but they’d moved her out of ICU the
morning after she woke up.

Her memory hadn’t improved, but I kept
telling myself it would over time. We’d talked and joked around and
it was bittersweet when she asked questions that she already knew
the answers to. It felt like it had when we first met, instantly
connected but not voicing or showing the real feelings.

I took a deep breath and tried to convince
myself;
she will remember.
When she did, would she remember
losing the baby, too? It scared the shit out of me. Julia was so
strong, but this was more than she’d ever dealt with. Dr. Moore,
Dr. Brighton and my father all agreed that the loss of the
pregnancy was most likely the thing triggering the memory loss. The
consensus was still not to push her memories. There was no physical
reason. Her brain tissue looked completely normal and all of her
other cognitive skills were perfectly intact. I was thankful for
that, at least. It could have been so much worse.