Donovan's Struggle, an Erotic Romance Novella (Anam Céile Chronicles) (2 page)

“That day at me father’s that you touched me hand, I think I
knew you loved me then,” she confessed.  I could not prevent the candid smile which
came onto me face then.

“Aislinn, always have I loved you, since the day first I did
see you in your father’s barn,” I affirmed softly, stroking her cheek with me
fingertips.

She gazed at me incredulously, her eyes searching mine fer confirmation.

“Why then, did you hold me off fer so long?” she asked me.

“Oh, Aislinn.  I knew there was something special about you,
and desperately I did wish to become better acquainted with you, trust me,” I
spoke the words with utter sincerity. “But, you were still so young.  I had to
wait.”

“Wait fer what, exactly?” she snapped at me impatiently. 
“I’ll have you know I had already waited
years
to merely lay eyes upon
you!”

Leave it to Aislinn to go from loving to irritated in the
blink of an eye.  Blame it on her red hair, I do.

“Me apologies that you had to wait longer than I,” I turned me
eyes down.  “But I had to do it right, wait fer you to be of the proper age.  I
hoped to gain your father’s approval . . .” I started to rationalize, yet I
know where that left me.  Never did we gain her father’s blessing.

“Why is everyone always so overly concerned with being
proper?” she queried, exasperated.  “Can we not simply do what we
feel
?”

“’Tis just the way things are, Aislinn,” I spoke softly, stroking
her hand in attempt to smooth things over.  “What kind of world would we live
in if everyone were to act upon their feelings?”

 “Happier, doubtless!” she retorted.  “I just don’t see what
would be so wrong with it!”

Having nothing left to say on the matter, I gazed at her and
sighed, patting her hand.   While I loved her childlike naivety, also could I
see where it may lead to the occasional dilemma.

A
islinn’s eighteenth birthday
fast approached.  As planned, I whisked her away to the Cliffs of Moher to
propose to her.  How I treasured seeing the elation upon her face when she
realised where it was I had brought her.  And her fearless spirit never ceased
to amaze me as she wished to stand right at the edge of the cliff to look out
at the raging sea below.  Fearing fer her safety, I held onto her tight.  I
seized the opportunity to begin wooing her with me words, anxiously working me
way towards the proposal.

 “Trust in me and you will find a heart so true,” I promised
her.  “All I wish is to give the best of me to you, be the man you deserve, if
you’ll allow me to be by your side always.”

Forever enthralling me with her mystical behaviours, Aislinn
lifted her hands from caressing me, relishing the feel of the breeze whispering
through her fingers.  A smile materialized upon her face as she leant her head
back, the wind sweeping her thick hair back with it.  So enchantingly beautiful
she was!  Never could me eyes grow accustomed to taking in the extent of her
beauty. 

Me eyes still affixed to hers, I worked me hand through her
mane, grasping the back of her head, and lifted her face upwards to bring her lips
to mine fer a deep kiss.  Rarely requiring any encouragement in this, she returned
me kiss with fervour.

Slowly, she lifted her lips from mine, allowing her eyes
gaze upon mine, tracing along me face with her finger.  “Here in this very
moment, ‘tis exactly where I am meant to be, right here with you,” she confided
to me in a whisper. 

“Aislinn, your hair it is magnificent with the wind in it, your
eyes as bronze jewels, your lips a magical world, me true escape.”  Me eyes
deepening with intensity, I expressed to her the true sentiments of me soul. 
“A goddess you are!  And I cannot believe I am lucky enough to have you to love
me!”  With me heartfelt words, her eyes melted under mine.

“I want you infinitely in me heart, Donovan.  When I look
into your eyes, I see all I need.  The person I aspire to be is everything you
are.  I know all I need is this.”

“Oh, Aislinn!  You are so much more than you know,” I told her,
whispering the words to emphasise how they mattered
.  How can she possibly
aspire to be more than what she is here and now, when to me she encompasses the
universe and stars?

“I’ll remain beside you ‘til the last beat of me heart . .
.” I affirmed to her. 

Instead of the heartfelt sentiment I intended, she seemed to
find offense in some way.

 “If you were to cease to exist,” she stated clearly, “so
would I.”  The troubled expression upon her face told me she was utterly
serious!

“There is no
if
,” I stated plainly.  “Just when,” me
voice was poignant in its sincerity.

“No!” she cried, her eyes full of naïve skepticism. 
“Together forever we must be!”

Then she simply buried her face in me chest, and whimpered.

“We will always have forever in each moment we share
together.  Fer these moments are all we truly have.  In the end, life is merely
just a collection of moments, is it not?” I expressed in an attempt to
encourage her.  I disliked nothing more than seeing Aislinn not of her
characteristic jubilant self.

I know what I can say to bring her back.  What better
time than now?

“Aislinn,” I whispered tenderly, lifting her chin so that ii
could gaze into her eyes. “There is something I need to say to you.” 

Still pouting, she lifted her eyes to mine and waited.

“Incredible ‘tis.  To see the sunrise in your eyes, no
matter the time of day!  I aspire to awake to that sunrise each day of me
life.”  Taking her delicate hand within mine, I dropped down to one knee, holding
the ring within me hand, nervousness settling in me gut.  “Aislinn MacAuliffe,
I love you with all I am and promise to fer all the days of your life.  Will
you do me the grandest honour of becoming me wife?”

Her hands flew to her gaping mouth as she squealed, “Donovan!”
 I embraced her as she dropped down to fall into me arms.  As she showered me
face with her kisses, she cried, “Do you mean it?  You truly wish me to become your
wife?”

“Of course I do, Aislinn!” I responded devotedly.  “I could
not have hoped fer a more beautiful, more perfect woman to make me wife.”  Every
second seemed a lifetime as I awaited her response.

“What is it, me love?” she probed, searching me eyes.

“You do know how to keep a fellow on his toes.” 

She peered at me inquisitively, clearly not comprehending the
reason fer me statement. 

“You have yet to respond to me proposal,” I clarified with a
hopeful smile.

“Oh Donovan!” Aislinn cried with glee.  “Indeed, I will
marry you!  And to have you fer a husband will make me the most fortunate lass
that ever lived!”

Relieved at finally hearing her response, a smile erupted
across me face. 

Then I remembered the ring still clutched within me hand.  Looking
down, I opened me hand to reveal the dainty gold ring.  Nipping it between me thumb
and forefinger, I picked it up and presented to her the symbol of me commitment. 

Raising her other hand, I found the fourth finger upon her
left hand, and carefully slid the ring onto it.  Gazing deep into her eyes, I
whispered, “Aislinn, I love you more than me own life.”
 

O
f course, had I been able, surely I would have taken Aislinn as me wife straightaway
without any further hesitation.  Yet I deemed it more important to show
strength and do right by her as I had vowed.  And as I still had two years
remaining on me apprenticeship, I was compelled to wait.  At the time, those
surely were the longest years of me existence.

During that prolonged time,
our love, as well as our passions grew ever stronger.  Never did she cease to
display to me the extent of her passion. 

Aislinn was a full-fledged
woman, of that there was no denying.  Many a time did she attempt to persuade
me to consummate our love.  And did I ever long to!

Yet always, much to her
frustration, I declined her advances, in the guise of upholding her virtue. 
“Wait ‘til our wedding day we must,” I would tell her. 

One day when I went to
Deirdre’s to pick her up, wearing a simple, blue lightweight sweater.  Upon
seeing me, Aislinn’s eyes grew wide as they took me in.

“Where ever did you acquire a
sweater of such colour?” Aislinn asked me, clearly captivated as she
waltzed up to
me and fell into my waiting arms.

I saw that familiar fire in
her eyes, and it was then I knew I was in trouble.  She commenced to running
her hands over me chest and me arms, remarking on how the color of the sweater
brought out the spectacular shade of my eyes.  Although I enjoyed it immensely,
it was doing nothing to remind me to hold true to the vow I made.

I smiled at her.  “Oh, me
Aunt and Uncle they brought it back fer me from their trip to France.  Pleases
you, does it, Aislinn?” I enquired hopefully with a modest smile.

She reached out to feel of
it; allowing her eyes to fall shut under the sensuousness of the feel of its
material under her fingertips; a slow, sensuous smile spreading over her face
in answer to me question.

I took her on another jaunt,
this time over the hills of
Conamara
, not nearly as far as the Cliffs had
been, but still ‘twas a fair ride out. 

“Aislinn, please do play your
fiddle fer me,” I suggested to get me mind off of her sitting beside me fer so
long a time, her hand creeping up me thigh.  “I do so delight in hearing the
enchanting music which springs forth from your hands.”

She picked up her fiddle and
lifted it to her chin.  I smiled to meself as I listened to her begin an
uplifting melody fer me.  She truly was exceedingly gifted.  There was almost
nothing I found more pleasure in than listening to her stroke the strings of
her instrument.  Well, that is, until I imagine her stroking
my
instrument. 

But no, I cannot regard
her in that way.  Not until I do right by her and make her my wife, at least.

Ah, Connemara!  How it
exemplifies the peaceful solitude and rugged beauty of the west of Éire with
its ever-changing landscape and dramatic contrasts of sea, sky, land and bog.  The
sunbeams as they come and go cast such a range of tint, light and shadow that
constantly the mood and tone of the unique landscape be altered entirely.

One moment, I was delighting
in watching Aislinn inhaling the scent of the spring flowers, giggling at the newborn
lambs frolicking upon the hills.  And then, in the next, all seemed to
transform drastically.

The last vestiges of sunlight
glimmered through the clouds, floating past the canopy overhead.  Fer quite
some time, she and I stared in awe at the fiery blaze of the sunset glistening
over the sea.  Then all too rapidly, the sky began to transform.

Darkness as though night had
fallen suddenly altered the sky, the wind gusting as though it were the end of
the world.  We watched the lightning as it took its stage atop the clouds.  The
startled, frantic chirping of the birds as they dashed about searching fer
shelter served to warn us further. 

Out of concern of protecting
her, I suggested, “Ought we seek out shelter?”

As was usual, she
demonstrated little sense, seeming to have little concern fer the imminent
storm.  And instead, Aislinn merely wrapped her arms about my neck, gazing
deeply into my eyes.  She went up onto her toes, stretching her neck up, and placing
her full lips just below my ear, began to plant kisses along the line of me jaw. 
The feel of her sensuous, soft lips travelling along me face inspired me to
think of them travelling elsewhere— places I should not have even considered.