Drawn to you (27 page)

“I can’t believe you ever slept with her. She’s a slag,” I tell Finlay.

“A slag?”

“Yeah. Slut, you would call it.”

He laughs. “Well, I regret it, and in my defense I was always wasted when I slept with her.”

I physically shudder at the thought and my temper flares again.

“Baby, forget about her. Can we go? I want you to myself for a while before you have to leave me.”

Damn it, he’s pouting. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth, anger evaporating with the promise of his touch. “Mmm, sounds good. Let’s go.”

Mike comes back and Gaby launches herself into his arms. “Take me home and make love to me,” she says, gaining her whistles from Gavin’s friends.

“FUCK! Gaby!” Finlay shouts.

“Sorry, bro.” She laughs but it’s forced. She’s hurting.

“I don’t need to hear that shit.”

Finlay pulls me through the crowd. When we reach the exit, I welcome the cold blast of air and take a fresh breath.

“Here’s us, baby.” Finlay gestures for me to get in his car but my attention is honed in on Gavin who is ushering Julie into a cab.

“Just go home, Julie. I have stuff to do. I’ll call you sometime.”

He slams the door and raps his knuckles on the roof, making the cab pull away.

Finlay keeps tapping at my ass. “Come on, get in.”

“Sorry, I was enjoying the butt smacking.” I grin over my shoulder as I slide into my seat.

“Hmm, we can definitely do more of that.” He burrows his face into my neck as he slides in next to me.

ONCE FINLAY AND I
reach the airport the next day, the realization that I’m going to be leaving him hits me hard. The lonely, empty feeling that had settled in my chest before I got here is returning. I haven’t really dealt with the reasons I’m going back home. If I stop and let myself, I’ll fracture and maybe never find all the pieces of this new me that I’ve grown into.
I like her.
She’s strong and independent, she has friends, and most importantly, she has Finlay.

“God, I’m going to miss you, baby. Keep your cell charged. Shit, Antonia. Don’t cry.”

“I didn’t know I was.”

He holds me tight and my tears fall into his chest and get swallowed by the fabric.

“I love you. I’ll call you once I land.” I pull away and take my suitcase. I make him leave me outside to avoid any awkward run-ins with James. I wave and watch as he walks over and gets in his car. Tears burn down my cheeks but I swipe them and make my way inside. James is waiting and heads straight towards me. “Ready?” he asks.

I nod and follow him, ignoring his outstretched hand.

“Before we get on the plane, James, I just want to say I’m not ready to have the talk yet. Can we do it once we’re home and settled?”

He exhales, appearing relieved. “Of course. That’s what I want too.”

I study him, trying to gauge his response, but soon forget he’s there. I can’t think of anything other than Finlay making love to me all morning, and now I won’t see him for God knows how long.

After sleeping ten of the thirteen hour flight, I’m actually refreshed rather than jet lagged. I feel slightly guilty for ignoring James for most of the trip, especially when he’s been attentive, carrying my luggage and letting me use his shoulder as a pillow and drool catcher, but I obviously needed the rest. He’s being cautious not to talk about the “us” topic, which I’m grateful for. When we pull up at my parents’ house, he helps me from the car, pulls my luggage out, and carries it to the doorstep.

“I know you need some space and time so I’m not coming in. Tell your parents that I had to get straight home. But I was hoping you would come over once you’ve settled in. My parents would love to see you while you’re here.”

He smiles down at me with his blue eyes and gentle smile, and memories of us being together filter through my mind. For the most part it’s beautiful, and I have great memories that I’ll cherish, but things are different now. I’m different. The love we had was an innocent love, a child’s love. After falling for Finlay, it woke me up inside. It’s nothing I’ve ever felt before and I’ve realized there are different types of love. The love I have for Finlay is more powerful than anything I ever felt for James.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Toni? You look like you’re trying to solve the meaning of life.”

He brings his hand up and strokes my cheek.

“James, we need to talk as soon as possible, so I’ll come over tomorrow.”

He nods in agreement and brings his lips to my forehead. “Okay, I’ll pick you up at lunch time.”

I smile and bring my arm up to pull his hand from my face. “That’s fine. I’ll see you then.”

I watch him leave before opening the front door.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Daddy greets me in the hall, and the smell of vanilla hits me and floods my mind with all my childhood memories. Mom has a love for vanilla and she uses vanilla candles, vanilla cleaning products, and pot pourri all over the house. Every time I smell vanilla I think of her. The warmth of the house is like an embrace as it cocoons around me. The fire is on high in the main living room. Everything has a place; it’s pristine. There’s a huge mirror above the fireplace, reflecting light around the room. The long hallway walls hold our family’s history in photographs. I look up to see Mom standing at the top of the oak staircase.

“Oh, you’re here. Where’s James?”

“He had to go.”

“Oh, what a shame. Well, Detective Ross will be here tomorrow morning.”

Ross was the officer working our case back when it all happened, and I’m glad they’re not wasting any time.

“That’s fine. I’m tired so I’m going to go straight to my room.”

“I thought you might want to go out to dinner.”

I look to Daddy with pleading eyes.

“Just let her rest. It was a long flight,” Daddy tells her. I smile at him, pick up my suitcase, and make my way to my room.

It hasn’t changed since I left; the pale pink walls hold all my medals and certificates, and my posters of teenage crushes. I dump my case down and throw myself on to my bed. The pink satin covers crumple as I get comfortable and dig out my cell phone. Once it lights up with life, I scroll through and find Finlay’s name. He replies after a couple of rings.

“Hey, beautiful. I was thinking of you.”

I smile even though he can’t see me. “I already miss you. Does that make me clingy?”

“No. I miss you too. I missed you before you even got out my car.” He sighs heavily and I lay back onto the mountain of pillows. “Where are you? It sounds quiet.”

“I’m in my room, on my bed.”

He groans, making me chuckle.

“Really? Are you trying to kill me, baby?”

“Sorry.” With another laugh, I change the subject. “I have a meeting with the detective in charge of the case tomorrow so I should have more of a clue how long I’ll need to be here.”

“That’s good. Call me as soon as you finish the meeting.”

“I will.”

“So, how was your flight? Did Mr. Perfect keep his hands to himself?”

“I slept most of the way, and I told you, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to James. You’re my Mr. Perfect.”

He sighs again and I wish I were there to reassure him. For someone so gorgeous and successful he can be insecure, which I know is because of the cheating his mother did. My heart hurts for him.

“I love you, Finlay Hayes.”

“I love you, baby.”

“I’ll call you before I go to sleep.”

“Okay.”

I end the call and the ache I feel is almost unbearable. I don’t want to be here, I want to be at home wrapped up in everything Finlay Hayes.

DADDY’S SITTING AT THE
dining table when I come down the next morning, reading the newspaper, while Mom is frying eggs.

“Hey, sweetheart. Sleep well?” she asks when she sees me. Daddy lowers his paper and smiles

“Yes, thank you.” I take a mug and poor some freshly brewed coffee into it. I hold it to my nose and inhale. Flashes of Finlay play in my mind like a film, making me smile and nibble on my bottom lip.

“What are you smiling about?” Daddy asks.

“Nothing, Daddy.”

The doorbell chimes and Mom unties her apron and throws it onto the table as she rushes past me to open the door.

I sip my coffee and Daddy gets up to greet Detective Ross as he enters the kitchen with Mom.

“Good to see you again,” he says.

“Let’s go through to the front room,” Mom says.

I take a seat in the leather armchair and watch Mom fuss with coffee and biscuits for Ross, who takes the chair opposite me. He pulls out some files from a briefcase.

“How are you feeling, Antonia?” he asks.

“I just want this over with.”

“Well, that is why I’m here, so let’s get straight to it, shall we?” He smiles. “The man in custody confessed so if you correctly identify him as the man who committed those crimes against you, there won’t be a trial, just a sentencing court date.”

I let out a breath and unclench the muscles in my stomach. “Do you believe it’s him?”

Detective Ross is close to this investigation and knows every detail of the crime, so his opinion can prepare me. If he thinks it’s him then it more than likely is. He shifts in his seat, placing the files on the floor and bringing his hands out in front of him “He claims to not remember the details. The man that held you captive that day killed with ease and took pleasure in the pain and humiliation of women. He was coherent in the moment and would savor it to revisit when he’s alone. He enjoys it too much to not remember.”

Tears build and fall from my eyes. Mom drops to sit on the arm of the chair I’m in. “So you don’t believe him?” she asks.

“No. I think this man has mental health issues and made a false confession only after an officer quizzed him about the past crime.”

“So this is a waste of her time? We thought you had him, but he’s still out there?” Daddy gets to his feet.

Detective Ross reaches forward, taking my hand. “I know this is hard but I need you to do this so we can rule him out. If he gets charged for this crime, the case gets closed and whoever is guilty gets away with it.”

Sobs retch from my chest. “I’ll do it.”

“Good girl.”

It’s not him; it’s nothing like him. How could they make me believe if only for a heartbeat that it might actually be him when he’s nothing like him? I shake my head
.

The silence is deafening in the car on the way to James’ parents’ house. I can see him turning to look at me from the corner of my eye but I don’t say anything.

I ran from that place. I needed to be away from everything that brought back pain and memories. I didn’t give Mom or Dad a chance to bring me home. I asked James if I could go back with him to get this talk over with instead. I need to be on the next flight out of here.

James’ house is beautiful. The drive way is the size of a football pitch, the dark slate tiles on the roof blend with the rich colored brickwork perfectly, giving it a modern but expensive feel. James helps me from his car and doesn’t let my hand go. I’m on my feet and he’s pulling me through the front door, up the stairs, and into his room. He releases my hand and stands in the middle of the room gazing at me.