Drawn to you (30 page)

“Ready to go home?” Gaby asks.

They kept me in hospital a whole week to monitor me, which was a nightmare. I hate hospitals.

I use my crutches to help me get over to my suitcase.

“I’m packed up. Can you go get Gavin to take this down to the car please?”

“Yeah, sure.” She bounces from the room.

I take a seat to wait for them when I hear someone clearing their throat. I look up and see Diane standing in the doorway. “Hello.”

“Hey,” I murmur, surprised to see her.

“I know you haven’t told your parents you were injured so as your mom can’t be here I thought I would visit.”

“Well, I’m actually leaving today.”

“Oh, silly me. So, Gaby told me things are strained between you and Finlay. I knew he wouldn’t settle down. He’s stubborn just like his daddy was.”

“Don’t talk about him.” Finlay’s angry voice behind her makes us both jump.

“Finlay, where did you come from?” she asks.

“I saw you come in. Now leave.”

“You need to move past this, and maybe not speak about it in front of other people.” She looks to me and then back to him.

“Don’t tell me what I need, Mom, and she’s not
other people.
”

She gasps and looks between Finlay and me. “Have you told her? You listen to me.” She walks over to him, pointing her finger. “What happened was between a husband and wife. We didn’t want you to find out.”

“Yeah, I bet you didn’t. I wish I didn’t know and I’ll do everything I can to make sure Gaby never finds out.”

“She never will. I’m sorry you had to. I know you’re angry and that’s fine but know that he loved her, he just needed time. He raised her and loved her before he knew she wasn’t his. He was hurt but that love doesn’t just disappear.”

A whimper comes from behind Finlay. My stomach knots as he turns to see a white as a ghost Gaby being held up by Gavin.

“Oh my God,” she sobs. Finlay and Diane rush towards her but she takes off, running down the corridor.

“Gaby, wait!” Finlay shouts before disappearing out of sight.

“What was that about?” Gavin asks, walking over to me and helping me to my feet.

“I can’t say.” He looks over to Diane who is staring at him.

“Why were you with Gaby?” she asks, her tone accusing.

“Picking Antonia up. Why?” he snaps back at her. She flees instead of answering.

“Why is everything weird lately?” he asks and I shrug. “Let me take you to the car then I’ll go look for Gaby.”

“I think we should let Finlay find her.”

“Okay.” He carries my case and I hobble along with my crutches, which are already giving my hands blisters.

Once in the car I try Gaby’s mobile but get no answer so I ring Mike to warn him Gaby will need him. When I enter my apartment, I feel grief. Nothing is the same as when I left it. The darkness rolls over me like a strong wave in a rough current.

“Thank you, Gavin. You’re a good friend. Please let me know if you hear from Gaby.”

“Is that your way of telling me to get lost?” He laughs and I give him an apologetic smile.

“I’m really tired. I just want to go to bed.”

“Sure. I’ll call you later. If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me, I’m really glad you’re home. I missed you; I could have done with an Antonia ass kicking these last couple weeks.” He looks to his feet and shuffles them like he’s kicking something

“Really? Why don’t you pick up dinner later and then we can have a good chat.” I offer.

“I don’t want to disturb you. You need your rest.”

“Don’t be silly. I will need food later and I really don’t want to cook.”

“Okay, I can do that. I’ll see you later.”

I watch him leave and then hobble over to my room and throw myself onto my bed. Finlay’s scent still rests in the fibers. It’s faded but invades my senses, causing tears to prick my eyes. I force myself up and tear at the sheets, pulling them off and hopping out to the kitchen to throw them in front of the washer. The room is too painful. How am I going to get through this? It hurts too much. He’s everywhere I look. I settle on the couch and let the tears come until sleep eventually claims me.

My home phone is bleeping with a new message. I reach over for my watch and see that it’s eight o clock. I rub my face and click the message icon. My heart pounds when I hear Finlay’s voice.

I’m home. Let me know if Gaby contacts you.

No please or hi, just distant and rude. I need to air this out with him. It’s not healthy for us carrying on like this. I gather all the artwork I’ve drawn of him and make my way up in the elevator. When the doors ping open I take a few deep breaths and open the main door. It’s unlocked and I’m relieved I don’t have to knock. Finlay is talking on the phone in the middle of the living space.

“I need to call you back.” He ends the call and throws the phone on to the couch, looking at my arms full of art. I limp over to him and drop the art at his feet. The pictures scatter, flowing over the floor, and he stares down at the images of himself.

“I need to speak and you need to be silent and listen.” I sound brave and confident, but I feel weak and scared. He doesn’t speak, he just stares at me with an unreadable expression.

“I never knew love like what I feel for you existed. You’re sketched on my soul and I can’t draw you out.” I take a few more breaths before continuing. “I never knew true pain like this existed until I met you, and I’ve seen my share of pain.” I laugh nervously. “But when I saw Julie dressing and trying to smooth down her matted sex hair, I died inside. The pain was literally vomit inducing ”

He furrows his brow, clearly unaware that I caught her leaving.

“Have you ever felt true darkness consume you, Finlay?”

“Yes, I have.”

“I didn’t do anything with James. I told him I love you and that I’ll never be with him and he kissed me goodbye; a peck that lasted all but seconds before I pushed him away and left.” I choke back the sob that’s threatening to break me.

His breathing has become heavy and he’s paled. The need to comfort him is overwhelming but I push it back as the images of Julie flash in my mind.

“I need some time to decide what I’m going to do but I feel you should know that when I was in hospital I was informed that something must have interfered with my birth control.”

His head shoots up from the floor and pierces me with his intense green eyes. I walk closer, pulling the scan picture the nurse gave me from my jeans, and I hand it to him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that could happen. I don’t expect anything, I just wanted you to know.”

I turn and leave him. I cry as soon as the elevator doors close. I control the meltdown as I reach my apartment, and when I walk in, Gaby’s sitting on my couch. I hobble over to her and slip my arm around her shoulder, taking the seat next to her. Her face is red, her eyes swollen and puffy from her own tears.

“I can’t go home,” she whispers. “That’s why I wasn’t in the will, wasn’t it? He took me out.”

I feel so helpless. My heart is too damaged to break anymore.

“He loved you. You were his little girl. I asked Finlay, and your dad didn’t have a will, Gabs, so everything just went to his sole heir. It had nothing to do with how he felt about you. And Finlay loves you more if anything. He’s going to need you. You need each other. Don’t let this change you.”

I kiss her head and she sniffles and wipes her nose along her arm.

“Can I stay with you?” she asks.

“Of course. I could use the company.”

“I’ll go get some PJs from mine and we can order pizza and watch
The Notebook,
” she tells me as she gets up to head back to hers.

She stops in her tracks and I follow her gaze and see Finlay standing behind me in the entrance. She runs to him and breaks down as he catches her and crushes her to him. I pull myself to my feet and rake my hand through my hair.

“I love you,” he mutters and she nods her head and pulls away.

“I’m going to get changed. I’ll be back,” she says before leaving us. Finlay waltzes over to me with purpose in every stride.

“Is this for real, Antonia? Is my baby in there?” He points to my stomach and I look down then back to him and nod. “What did you mean when you said you don’t know what you’re going do yet?”

I shake my head. Loud voices bellow from the open front door as Gavin fills the space. Julie’s wrapped round him like poison ivy, strangling the life from him.

“Change of plan, Antonia.” Gavin says, slurring and stumbling farther into my apartment. My body goes rigid as I fight the urge to attack her.

“I’m not having dinner but I bought you some.” He drops a bag onto the side. “I’m going up to get laid.” He grins and the skank giggles while trying to rub parts of him I don’t need to see.

“You’re not fucking taking her to mine. I warned you after last time!” Finlay shouts.

“Chill out. I’ll take her to the club.”

Julie gives Finlay a glare as she pulls Gavin out the door.

He looks back at me and picks up the conversation as if Gavin and Julie didn’t just show up.

“What did you mean Antonia? That’s my baby in there. Our baby.”

“I don’t understand. Why does Gavin think it’s okay to take her to yours?”

“Gavin’s staying at my apartment. His place flooded. I thought Gaby told you. He took her engagement badly and has been hooking up with Julie ever since. I found her in my kitchen in her underwear the day you had your accident. I kicked her out. I was so angry I didn’t let her dress first. I was checking to make sure she wasn’t hanging around and that’s when I saw you and then you took off and fell.”

“So you didn’t sleep with her?”

“Fuck no! How could you ask that? Oh my God, is that what you thought?”

I laugh with shock and it turns into a sob. How foolish we both are. All for nothing. Wasted time, heartache and pain.

He closes the distance and drops to his knees in front of me. Tears fill his eyes and I look down into them. “Being without you has been like torture. I hurt so badly when I saw that text. I knew you loved me and my heart believed you would never cheat but my fucked up head and my mom’s betrayal forced me to believe the implication of that text. God, I’m so sorry.” He wraps his arms around my waist and sobs against my stomach. “Is my baby really in there?”

I bring my hands to hold his head. “Yes. Your baby is really in there.”

We all have a lot of sorting out to do. We have darkness in our pasts but this is my family, my future, my light and no matter what we will always end up together.

“What are you thinking, baby?” Finlay asks, looking up at me.

“I’m thinking that no matter what, we belong together. I’m drawn to you.”

“
YOU TOLD HIM,” GABY
says to referring to the baby. She’s standing with Gavin in the doorway.

“I thought you left?” I ask Gavin.

“I bumped into Gaby. She was upset so I stayed.” He hiccups back at me.

Finlay exhales hard but my cell making an unfamiliar noise distracts me. It’s the first time I’ve charged it since I’ve been home because of the accident. I unplug the phone, ignoring the scene playing out behind me. When I answer the phone my legs weaken, forcing me to slip down to the floor.

“I can’t believe you finally answered, bro. I’m in trouble. I need money.” I bring the phone away from my ear and look it over. It’s the same model but the chip mine has from me dropping it one time when Finlay surprised me in the kitchen is gone. The man on the phone has an evil voice. It’s the evil voice of the man who stole my life. My hands shake as I place the phone back at my ear. “James, you still owe me. I need money.” I cover my mouth to stop a scream from tearing through. I’m hyperventilating, trying to grip on to reality. “James, don’t fucking ignore me. You owe me.” Tears burn my cheeks and I finally find my voice.

“How do you know James?”

Silence. I don’t think he’s going to answer until he says, “Antonia?” My name on his lips twists my insides. His sick, deep laugh echoes down the link, mocking me. “Well, well. I didn’t think I would hear your sniffling cries again.”

“How do you know James? Who are you?” I scream.

“You have no clue, do you? Did he even tell you he had a brother? Of course he didn’t. Our parents wouldn’t allow that.”

“You’re lying. He would have said if he had a brother.”

“Oh, there’s a lot he wouldn’t tell his precious Antonia, like the fact I went down for him when he raped my girlfriend.”

“You’re lying,” I croak.

“I may have knocked her out beforehand but he still fucked her. She cried like a child when she became conscious with his little dick inside her. He never really got over it. He’s not cut out for putting whores in their place.”

I can’t breathe.

“He gave me the code.” He growls down the line. “He told me that only one kid would be there and gave me the codes he took from the sticky note in your room that you keep them on, how careless and trusting you are.”

“Stop,” I beg.

“He couldn’t access his own money without our parents knowing so he gave me everything I needed, and you were just a sweet fucking bonus.”

“No,” I whimper.

“Yes. I’ll be seeing you, Antonia, to finish what we started.”