Drawn to you (29 page)

I’M STARING UP AT
my apartment building. I can see light streaming from the penthouse so I know Finlay’s home. I’m nervous and tempted to turn around and run.

“Oh my God!” Gaby’s scream echoes and she’s running towards me, followed by Mike. “You’re home!” Her arms wrap around my neck, and Mike is laughing shaking his head at her enthusiasm.

“She missed you,” he says.

“I missed her too.” I take her hands in mine and smile at her happy face. I notice a little lump pricking my finger and look down at her hand.

“Holy shit!” I breathe.

“I know. I’m engaged!” She beams. I’m frozen in shock.

“I’m sorry, it’s bad timing.” She pouts and I realize I’m being selfish.

“No, it’s just soon and you’re so young. I didn’t expect it.”

“You sound like Finlay and Mom.” She rolls her eyes.

“I’m sorry. Congratulations, I’m really happy for you both.” I pull her into a hug, and then Mike leans forward and kisses my cheek.

“It’s good to have you home,” he says.

“It’s good to have my maid of honor back!” Gaby bellows. “Go to him, Antonia. Fix this. We will be back soon and I’ll check on you. We can have dinner and catch up.”

“Okay.” I smile.

They wave goodbye and I’m back to staring up at the penthouse. It’s now or never.

My heart’s beating so fast I feel dizzy as the lift ascends to the penthouse. I’ve decided I’m going to force him to hear me out. When the door pings and opens, time slows down, my body becomes numb. The rhythmic beat of my heart is strumming in my ears. My hearing appears heightened as every movement roars in my ears. I try to tell myself my eyes are lying to me as they take in a messy-haired Julie slipping her skirt on in the corridor of the penthouse. Her eyes meet mine, a filthy smirk lifting one side of her face. Blood rushes through my veins offering movement back to my legs. My whole body tenses as if anticipating the next blow.

“I’ll never get tired of that man rocking my world,” she says.

Acid is being poured into my bones; it’s so painful, this hurts too damn much. I stumble forward as she straightens her bra and tries to tame her matted hair. She steps into the lift as I step out and the doors close.

I vomit on the floor where I’m standing, the decaying parts of me emptying out.
I’m dying. I’m dying.

The door to the penthouse opens but I can’t turn around. I can’t face him. I bolt for the stair exit.

My jacket gets caught on the rail and I stagger. I miss the top step and tumble down them in a painful fall. I cry out when I come to stop at the bottom of the first flight. The pain in my ribs screams at me. Giving me some relief from the pain in my heart. Hot blood trickles from my head into my eyes.

“Fucking hell, Antonia. No, no!” Finlay rushes down to me. “Don’t move. Don’t move! I’m calling an ambulance.”

“No!” I scream, batting his hands away from the gash bleeding all over the place. “Just leave me alone. Please don’t touch me. It hurts!”

“I’m going to help you. You’re cut real bad.”

I shove him again when he tries to get close to me. “Not the cut, you!” My ribs burn with such an intense pain that black spots appear in my eyes. His face is distorted from the blood impairing my vision but confusion mars his features. “You hurt me. You hurt me.”

He’s wearing lounge pants and nothing else. His beautiful chest is bare and his hair is wet from a shower. God, he’s just washed the skanky Julie off him my stomach stirs again like I’m being spun on a spin cycle and thrown over a cliff. I retch and vomit again.

“You’re injured Antonia. You need to go to the hospital. God, I need you to let me help you get to the hospital. Gavin . . . Gavin!” he shouts.

“They can’t fix me,” I cry, pushing to my feet. “Don’t touch me!” I snarl when he tries to help me stand up straight. I stagger down the next flight despite the agony I’m in.

I open the door and wince at the burning pain coursing through my ribs. I can hear a whistle with each breath I take.

“Fuck this. I’m taking you to hospital.” I’m scooped off my feet, Finlay’s scent surrounding me causing the pain to intensify, and then everything goes black.

I’VE EATEN TAR. MY
mouth feels disgusting and there’s an annoying beeping from my alarm. Muffled voices in the distance become closer.

“Press snooze,” I murmur, but the beeping continues. “Snooze, Finlay.” I mutter.

My eyes flutter. trying to open, but it’s hard. They feel heavy, and the bright light forces them to close again. I put my hand up to protect them from the intrusion of light, blinking a few times.

“
She’s awake.”
I squint and look to Gaby, Gavin and Finlay standing in front of me, I hear the beeping to my right and notice a machine and wires leading to my hand.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in hospital, sweetie. Damn, Antonia.” Gaby sobs and is taken into the arms of Gavin. He speaks over her head to me.

“You fell down the stairs. You have a couple of cracked ribs and a fractured ankle.”

He releases Gaby and offers me the cup on the table next to my bed.

“I don’t want him here,” I croak.

Gavin holds a straw to my lips. “Have some water. Finlay brought you here.”

“I’ll see you at home, Gaby,” Finlay says as he leaves without another word.

“Gavin, I need to speak to Antonia,” Gaby says. He hands her the glass and exits the room. “You scared me. I told the doctors that I’m your sister so they would let me stay with you. They told me, Antonia. How far along are you? Was he an ass about it? Is that why you’re not talking? I will kick his ass.”

I shake my head and immediately wish I hadn’t. There’s a searing pain that shoots through me, making the monitor beep louder. I take a few deep breaths. “What are you talking about?”

“The baby. The doctor asked me if you knew about the baby.”

I look at her, stunned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Well, hello. You’re awake,” a plump older nurse says as she walks towards me holding a chart.

“How are you feeling?”

“Confused.”

“She didn’t know” Gaby tells her, and I look between them.

“What’s going on?” I ask, panic setting in.

“Calm down. We couldn’t do an X-ray because you’re pregnant but the doctor has examined you and he is confident in his diagnosis of your cracked ribs and fracture in your ankle. You had a nasty abrasion on your forehead which needed six stitches We have put a cast on your ankle which will need to be changed in a couple of weeks and we have wrapped your ribs to try and help your breathing, but apart from that there’s not a lot we can do for ribs, I’m afraid. You got really lucky.”

Lucky? I don’t feel freaking lucky.

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, we can’t get to the ribs-”

I put my hand up to stop her. “About the baby. I’m on the pill. I don’t understand”

“Well we need to do a vaginal ultrasound exam to determine how far along you are. The pill is a very effective birth control method but nothing is a hundred percent. Prescription drugs can interfere with its effectiveness and even some over the counter medicines.” She takes my temperature and jots down the reading from the beeping machine. “I’m sorry this is a shock to you but we really need to do an ultrasound. You took a very nasty fall.”

“Okay. Stay with me, Gabs” I plead.

“Don’t you want Finlay in here?”

“No! Please, Gaby.”

“Okay, of course.”

There are a couple of nurses coming and going. One wheels in a machine and the other lifts my blanket and puts my legs in stirrups.

“This is what I will insert into your vagina. It shouldn’t cause discomfort but please try and remain still so I can get an accurate examination reading. You may feel a little pinching.”

Gaby squeezes my hand and after a few minutes the nurse speaks again. “There you are.” A whooshing sound plays from the machine. “Do you want to see?”

I nod and she pushes the screen to face us and points to the black and white image.

“There he or she is.” She clicks some buttons. “It looks like a kidney bean at the moment but I can assure you it’s a baby.” She smiles and Gaby and I both sob.

An hour later all the nurses have left after giving me some leaflets on unplanned pregnancy and a lecture to stop taking my pill and start taking pregnancy vitamins, and to not fly again in the first trimester. I make Gaby promise me she won’t tell Finlay.

“Hey,” Gavin says from the doorway “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” I smile weakly.

“Finlay’s in the waiting room. He won’t leave. He told me not to tell you but I’m an ass so I have.” He laughs

“I can’t see him right now.”

“Okay, well Gaby’s gone to get you some clothes from your apartment. I’m going to take off and I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?”

“Thank you for being here.”

“It’s good to have you home.”

“Wakey wakey!” I hear Gaby call out.

“I’m so glad you’re here, I need to shower. Will you help me?”

“Yes, I will, let’s get you naked!” Gavin bellows.

I crank one eye open and notice the room is full.

“Hey, they didn’t tell me you were here until today,” Gabe says, putting some flowers down and kissing me on the head.

“Yeah and I have a bruised arm and leg because of it,” Gavin moans.

“Libby’s away visiting family but she’s thinking about you,” Gabe tells me.

I manage a smile.

“Fancy throwing yourself down the stairs. I will take you on a date, okay? Please don’t kill yourself over it.” Brad manages to keep a straight face while talking, then hands me a huge box of chocolates. Mike stands behind Gaby, rubbing her shoulders.

“Wow, thank you. It’s so good to see you all.”

They all begin chatting around my bed but my mind is still fuzzy, trying to process everything that’s happened. I can’t concentrate on anything they’re saying.

“There’s too many people in here. She needs her rest,” a petite nurse announces to the group, gaining her a long groan from Gavin.

“I was just about to eat her chocolates,” he moans, getting a slap in the head from Gabe. They all leave, apart from Gaby, who helps me into the shower and then into fresh clothes

“He’s here, you know?” she says in a quiet voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Finlay. He waits in the waiting area, and he makes the nurses update him, which they don’t really do because he’s not family. I think a couple take pity on that perfect face of his though, because they bring him coffee.” She laughs.

“I can’t deal with him right now. It hurts too much. Please tell him to leave.”

She shakes her head. “I have. He won’t listen to me.”

“I’m tired, Gabs. Do you mind leaving me to rest a little?” I ask, feeling guilty. She knows I’m just getting rid of her to stop this conversation but she agrees. Tears fall freely and I wonder if there’s a tear quota you can reach before you just combust into dust
.