Drowning (Tears of Sin Series) (23 page)

“Why should I help you?” She reaches to the floor and grabs her half-full tumbler of something amber. We have to wait while she downs the rest of her courage. “All you've done is destroy our lives.”
I run my hand along the back of her neck, massaging the tense muscles, and she leans into me. I'm not sure how she's managed these people.
“Dad is looking for some USB drives that have been taken from his house. I'm here to beg you, if you have them, or if you know where they are, please tell me.”
“Begging, Alice?” Rowena sits up, and drops her dainty feet to the carpet. Her blonde hair is somehow still perfectly smooth, and even around the bruises, she’s managed to maintain her painted face. “I thought that was beneath you. Maybe if you had begged, he'd have left you alone.”
I can't imagine a mother, any mother, knowing what that sick fuck did to a little girl not being completely repulsed.
Alice glances around the room. “Why was he here?”
“The same as you. Looking for some damn old movies. I don't have the fuckers.” Rowena refills her tumbler with the expensive whiskey sitting on the coffee table. She twirls her glass, and swallows back a gulp that would have even made me cough. “You know, Alice, I know what is on those films. It's sad that he can't function in any capacity without his nightly rewind. Did you know that?” Alice pales. “He jerks off to your screams. Not you. Just the sound. That's why I left him. And until today, he's been happy to leave me alone.”
“So you don't have them.” I finally find my voice because Alice is in shock. Every bone in her body is frozen, and her hands are fisting the legs of my blue jeans. “If you don't we'll leave, but if you do, you need to turn them over.”
“No, I don't have them.” She glances up at me. “I'd give them to the police if I did. But he kept them under lock and key.”
I’m so disgusted that I have to point this out. She could have turned him in long before even without the USBs. “But you knew about them?”
“I heard him once.” She purses her lips at Alice. “Beating it to a horrific sound. He nearly beat me to death that night. I left, and I'm not going back.”
Alice breaks from her trance, shaking her head and sighing. “What does he have on you?”
Rowena looks at Alice like she's stupid. “Are you kidding? Look at this place. I couldn't afford all this luxury on my own.” She's sold herself for a house and a lifestyle. A disgusting whore in designer clothes and plastic skin.
“Come on, Alice, let's go.”
Her shoulders droop, but we make it past the housekeeper with the sorrowful eyes. “Take care of that girl. She needs a break.”
She needs a lifetime of breaks, and I mean to give them to her. Once I’d realized that I love this girl, I knew I was done. I’ll do anything for her. Anything to make sure we get past this, and she has the happy life she deserves.
I help Alice into the truck and hurry to my side. “Where now?”
“I have no idea.”

I’
M NOT REALLY SHOCKED THAT
Rowena couldn't help me. She'd probably have turned them in by now. It's not that she’s necessarily evil as much as an opportunist. I glance at Seth. He's scowling at the rearview mirror and making sure he doesn't look at me. “Thank you for going with me.”
“Baby, I'd do anything for you.”
I don't say anything. There's been too much happening in the last week, and I'm not sure exactly how to handle any of it. He pulls into the valet parking at the Four Seasons and tips the older man that takes his keys. “Let's get a room for the night.”
“You don't have to do this. We could just go back to the apartment.”
Seth’s eyes are guarded, and it worries me. “We need to sleep, and I don't think we were followed. I could use some peace and quiet and a change of scenery.”
I wait while he pays for the room. The receptionist flirts with him, but I can't blame her. Seth is killer on the eyes.
We ride the elevator in silence, and I wait for Seth to unlock the door to our room. His hands rest on my lower back as he ushers me inside. It’s a calming reminder that he’s here for me. I toe off my shoes and drop my jeans before crawling in bed. Seth does the same, but he also pulls his shirt over his hair, leaving him in only his tented boxers. I arch a brow in his direction.
“I can't help it.” He glances down at himself, rubbing a hand along the waistband of his black boxers, and then glances back at me with a heat burning in his gaze. “It's been days since I've had you close to me.”
“Whose fault is that?” I make room for him to lie down. He's trying not to jar me, and somehow in all this drama surrounding my life, he's lightened the mood. I roll toward him and lay my head on his chest, careful to keep my torso from touching him.
His hands lock behind my back, and he kisses my forehead. “We'll get through this, and when we do, you and me are giving this a chance.”
I like the sound of that and hum against him. I feel safe and loved and wanted. It's a heady feeling. I kiss his chest, just over his left nipple. He inhales and one hand finds my hair, pressing my face tighter to his chest. I bare my teeth and nip him sharply. The muscles in his stomach contract under my hand. “Alice.”
I take the lead and nibble my way to his stomach, licking and sucking at each muscle ripping through his abs. He groans when I pull the waistband of his boxers down, past his erection. His hands rest on mine. “I don't want to hurt you.”
“You won't.” I wrap my hand around him and stroke twice before he flips me to my back.
I bite back the little whimper that threatens to release. If I let him know how much that action did hurt, he’ll stop.
“You...drive me so fucking crazy.” He slides my panties down and pulls my thighs over his. “Don't move. Let me love you.” My legs shake from the position, but not for long. He yanks me higher.
The head of his erection strokes over my bare clit, and I groan. “God, that feels so good.”
He does it again, and I do whimper, but not from pain. From pure ecstasy. In one smooth stroke, he enters me halfway. I'm still so tight, and he has to work to find the end of me.
“Alice. I love you.” Tears fill my eyes. I've wanted to hear that so much. All my life. “Don't check out on me, okay.” I nod, and he hits the end of me with more force.
It's pleasure and pain that makes my stomach jump. His strokes are long and slow, with a little bump at the end, and it only takes a few minutes before I'm panting. Crying. Aching. I half sit up when I come, the emotions too strong to hold back.
He pulls back, the tight line of his lips stretched over his teeth show the restraint in his movements. His hands grip my hips, but he waits. His eyes searching mine.
“Seth.” I sigh his name in a dreamy escape of pleasure.
Hearing me say his name sends him lurching over me, driving deep and hard, spending his release in a gush of heat between my legs.
“Are you okay?” He's still taking care of me even when I can't think straight.
He climbs off me with more energy than I’d ever be able to summon. The bathroom door opens and the water runs. He's back in less than two minutes and pulling me into his arms. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. That was perfect.”
He runs a finger down my breast bone, watching the path of his hand. “Kind of quick.”
“Quick is okay. It was perfect.” We sink back into the bed, and I fall asleep in the warm safety of his arms, letting my troubles float away.
We spend the next day talking to people at the main house. No one knows what we’re looking for, and I believe they genuinely don’t. Of course, my dad has probably interrogated them already. We have a lunch of hamburgers and milk shakes, and then hit the three offices that my dad keeps in town. By the end of the week, we’ve spoken to at least one hundred people that might have had any kind of access to dad’s things.
It’s exhausting and mentally breaking me, but I’m picked up each night when Seth takes me in his arms. My stomach has scabbed over and is almost healed thanks to the tender care by my boyfriend. We’ve decided to be exclusive, and I’m not fighting it anymore. I think when this is all over, I’ll join the band. I like singing, and Seth’s music is crazy good. It’s time to stop hiding behind Molly and get on with my life.
The guys are practicing tonight, getting rid of some of the energy. Molly is on the couch with me, whispering about all the fun they had at the lake house. I want to go there with Seth. Escape the world.
“So, what have you guys been doing?”
“We’ve been on a mission.” I nudge her, rocking her against the arm of the couch. “Secret.”
She giggles, and I smile. I know it’s not funny, but I’m almost past the point of caring. I couldn’t find the damn drives, and Harrison is just going to have to accept it.
Molly shivers beside me and brushes a hand up and down her arms. “Are you cold?”
“They keep it like a freezer in here.” My blanket is already draped over her lap.
“I’ll run and get you a sweater.”
“Thanks, Al.”
I wave at Seth, and he nods between beats. “Be right back,” I mouth, and he winks. He’s so fucking hot, and I get to have him anytime I want.
Molly’s closet is neat and maintained. Color coded by placement so that she can dress herself without help. I rummage through the whites, looking for her favorite sweater. It’s not in the closet. I turn to her dresser and fumble through the drawers. I find her sweater, but it’s wrapped around a box.
I open the lid to the box and find twelve small zip drives, stacked and cold beneath the fabric. I inhale. No. She wouldn’t keep these from me. Not Mole. My body folds, and I crumble to the floor of the closet. All the times I spent taking the punishment to save her, and she’s had the evidence to put that monster away.
Tears track down my face.
I pull the box out and load up her computer. The first zip fits into the connecter and automatically opens a window. The shadow of a sleeping child fills the screen. My father’s large frame crosses the lens for a moment, and then he’s closer to the girl. I’m frozen in the memory of that first night all over again, watching it in color and from a third-person point of view is entrancing in its horrific beauty. I can’t look away.
Screams fill the room, and I hear feet running down my hall, but I don’t register the sound. Why does she have these? Molly. My sister. I can’t believe that she’d have these and not tell me. What the fuck? My fingers are locked around the mouse. I click the next short movie and ignore whoever is behind me. I feel like the room is filled with people, but I can’t look away from the poor child suffering on the screen. There’s blood on her white sheets and a scalpel lying on the bed.
My dad looks back at the camera, and I hiss. Seth’s hand darts past my face and slams the lid to the laptop down. He’s picking me up and carrying me out of the apartment and to his room. The clack of something chattering breaks through to me, and it’s my teeth.
“Baby, no. Stop.” He lays me in bed and wraps his arms around me. I break and sob, holding on to him for everything that has happened to me. “Shhh…”
I’m angry. Betrayed. And I want to know why my fucking sister that I adore has those videos.
Seth is smoothing my hair away from my face.
I crinkle my hands in his shirt and jerk him against me. “I have to know why. How could she have those?”
“Baby, maybe it’s not what it seems like.”
I think he’s right, but for the wrong reason. I’m pretty sure it’s worse. Molly hadn’t always been the sweetest of people. I remember the times she hated me for having to share her precious house and father. She’d grown out of it as she’d turned into a teen, but what if it had all been a show.
Gabe and Molly stroll into his room, arms linked, and laughing. I’m sick, and I think Seth might grit his teeth to tiny nubs. “What are you two doing in here? We came to look for Alice and Molly’s sweater.”
I sit up and shove Seth’s hands off of me. “Molly, why do you have dad’s videos in your drawer?”
She stares at across the room in our direction. Guilt marring the beauty of her face, but I can’t tell if it’s for me or for her. Her shoulders fall, and her cane clatters to the floor. Tears well in her eyes, but don’t fall. “I was keeping them as leverage.”
Gabe darts his face to hers. He’s in shock, but much quicker to respond than me. “Against who?”
“Dad.”
I thought she loved her father more than anything. The room is unsteady, and I hold onto the bed to make sure it doesn’t slip out from under me. “I don’t understand.”
She makes it to my side and lowers herself, sitting beside me. “He’s been hurting mom. Before my accident, I caught him choking her. One day, after he’d left, I scoured his room for something, anything to hold against him. I found those in his safe. He’d made a mistake and left the password in his contacts on his phone. I didn’t look at them then, had planned on checking out what I’d found when I got back home from our trip to the lake.” She takes a breath. “After the cliffs, I realized just how short life can be, and how much we shouldn’t live it afraid. I don’t want her to be scared of him anymore.”
I ask the question that will break me, but my voice is devoid of emotion. I think this is shock. I’m pretty sure it’s hell. But the man on my side is holding me tight, giving me the courage to ask anyway. “Have you watched them?”
“Oh, Al, I couldn’t. I turned one on, but the screams scared me half to death. I put them away.”
Seth climbs from the bed and leaves the room. He’s gone for a few minutes and returns with Molly’s laptop. He hits play and sits it in her lap.
My frantic pleas for help fill the room and Gabe tips back the screen to get a better look. “What the fuck, Molly? How the hell could you have these and not take them to the police?”
A sob slips past her lips. “I know. I should have, but I didn’t want my dad to go to jail, just to leave mom alone. I knew if the time ever came, I could use them against him.”
Gabe yanks me up and into his arms. “At Alice’s expense?”
Molly closes the laptop, drowning the sound of the video. “I don’t understand.”
Seth rushes from the room, bumping his brother’s shoulder on the way out. Gabe’s going to tell her it’s me in those clips, and I can’t be here for that. Seth couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with us. I couldn’t blame him. My stomach is rolling at the hurt and anger on Gabe’s face. I’ve once against destroyed something beautiful.
I break from his arms and find Seth in the kitchen, tipping back a shot of whiskey. I lean against the counter. “Have another?”
He hands me the bottle, and I tip it back. We sink to the floor with our troubles between us. Hollering is coming from his room. An hour ago, I’d have been all over Gabe’s ass for yelling at my sis like that. Now, I want in on the action. I hand the bottle back to Seth.
“Alice, I love you. I do.” He kisses my temple. “But your family is fucked up. I used to think that mine was bad, but damn.”
I slouch against him and laugh. “I know.”
“I’m not even sure how you can laugh right now, but it just makes me love you more.” His lips caress my cheek. This moment, this man is erasing the guilt, pain, and hatred pouring through my veins with just his mouth against my skin.
“Seth, when you’ve been through the crap that I have, you laugh when you can and worry about all the rest when the time comes.” I take another long pull from the bottle and relax into the warm burn of the liquor. My mind feels lighter than it had a few minutes ago. I don’t know if it’s Seth or the alcohol.
He pulls me onto his lap and kisses me softly. “I love you.”
“You’ve said that often.”
He smiles. “I’m not going to pressure you to say it back, I just want you to know how I feel.”
“I care about you. But I’m scared to love you. I’ve never really loved anyone else before—except for Molly and look how that’s turned out.” Maybe I did love him. If loving consists of not being able to breathe when he leaves, hating the world when he’s not in it, and aching so bad for his touch, I can’t function, then yes, I guess I probably did love him.
Molly’s cane whacks the side of the kitchen cabinets. She stops when she hits Seth’s leg. “I had no idea that was you in those movies. I swear I didn’t.” Her cheeks are smudged with tears. Gabe stands by the front door. He has it open and ready for her. “But if this jackass thinks I’ll stay around and listen to just what a horrible person I am, screw that.”
She storms out of the apartment, tripping near the door. I can see the pain in Gabe’s eyes when he doesn’t help her. I’ve screwed them up too.
“I’m going to make sure she’s okay, and then I’m done. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’ll need to get her some counseling. I don’t know how you’ve all made it this far.” Gabe slams the door, and I’m left with the regret.
“Don’t.” Seth takes the bottle from my hand and tips it back. “They’ll be okay, eventually. I can kind of get why she did it.”
His words hit me harder than any whip ever could. “What?”
“Think about it, Alice. Being the oldest, we have to watch out for everyone. She tried to protect her mom. I get that.”
I’m sucking short, shallow breaths. The piranhas of fear swirl around me and I want to scream around the bubbles of gloom drowning me. This is the man whom I love, I can’t say it yet, but I trust him, and he’s on their side. Just like everyone else. “I’m out of here.”
Seth rolls up to his knees and frames my face in his hands. I’m seething and he’s either too drunk already to notice, or too stupid. “Not going to happen, baby.”
If he doesn't let me leave, then I’ll end this, and I won’t be back this time. I have nothing, but I don’t need much. He bends down to kiss me, and I head butt him in the mouth. Blood spurts from a crack in his lip. “The fuck?”