Drowning (Tears of Sin Series) (25 page)

I’
M EIGHT MINUTES FROM BOARDING
the train that will take me north. I don’t really have a destination in mind. I have fifteen dollars left to my name, but I’m smart. I’ll find a job and forget about this place. They call my boarding section, and I make my way toward the gate when my phone rings. It’s an unknown number.
“Alice?”
“Yes. I’m sorry, who is this?”
“It’s Evan. You have to come to Seton Medical Center now.”
“What? What happened?” A sense of doom slides over me, and I know. “Is Seth okay?”
“No. He’s not. And we may lose Deacon. You have to get down here. Seth is going crazy calling for you.”
I hurry back to the window and try to get some of my money back. I’ll need it for the cab ride downtown. The trip is a twenty-minute commute, but it feels like hours. If Seth dies, I’ll die. I wanted to prove a point to him before, but now it all feels so stupid.
I sprint to the emergency room and run full force into Seth’s father. “Mr. James. I’m so sorry. What happened?”
He braces my shoulders and pushes me away from his chest, snapping his concerned gaze down at me. “Someone shot Deacon and beat the hell out of Seth. They were dropped off in the parking lot and left. We have no idea what happened.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “They’re trying to sedate Seth, but he’s fighting them. Please go talk to him, sweetie. I know you two are having problems.” A tear slides down his cheek. “But, please go make my boy calm down so he’ll get better.”
I hurry through the curtain and gasp when I see him. I take in a breath, using everything yoga has taught me to keep from screaming. There’s not a place on him that’s not swollen. His face is disgustingly puffy and bloody. He can’t see me because his eyes are matted closed. I hurry to his side and take his hand. “Seth.”
“Alice?” I can barely make out my name from his busted lips.
“I’m here.” I bend down, hesitant to touch his face or chest. I grip the only thing I can find not damaged—his arm. “What happened?”
He coughs, and the sound hurts me as much as him. “Harrison.” His fingers wrap around my forearm and squeeze. “Don’t leave. Stay with my dad…he’ll…keep you safe.”
“Seth. Don’t worry about me.” I run my fingers up and down his forearm, hoping to soothe him.
“He’s fucking crazy. Killed Deacon.” He lurches up. “Don’t want to lose you. So sorry.” He’s so upset, and I don’t know how to settle him down. “Need to tell you—”
“No. No confessions until you’re well. Deacon isn’t dead. I’m going to go try to find out what happened to him.” Seth’s fingers tighten around my arm. “Let me go. I’ll be back. I’m going to tell the nurse to bring you something for the pain, and you aren’t going to argue. It’ll help you heal. I need you well.”
His face follows the sound of my voice, and he’s relaxed now that he knows Deacon has a chance. “Okay.”
I kiss his hands and slide from his grip. “I’ll be back.”
If I’d never smacked into him on that elevator, he’d be at home right now, beating on his drums and creating magic with his words. I’m a fucking plague.
The nurse slips past me and adjusts his IV. I watch from the door until I see his body relax with the drug. She smiles at me and pats me on the shoulder. “He’ll be okay. He’s a strong boy. Healthy. That face may sport a scar or two, but it’ll just make him sexy.”
He's already sexy. I hold back the tears. This is my fault. I should have just taken the movies to my dad and been done with it. But, I wanted him to pay. I’d planned on getting out of the city and taking them to a news station. Revenge had driven me. Revenge at them all.
Mr. James stands when I hit the waiting room. “He’s better. They sedated him and he’s resting.”
“Thank God. I didn’t know how I would keep him in that bed.” He grabs my hands and holds them to his chest. “Seriously, Alice. Thank you. I know what he did—about the whole Molly ordeal. I’m not proud of that, but I think he meant for it to come across a different way.”
I touch his cheek and smile. “My dad did this to him. When everything comes out, it’s going to show that you’re tied to his real estate. I’m afraid it might hurt your career.”
“I don’t give a shit about having some dirty politician backing my name.” In his anger, I see pieces of Seth breaking through. Man, these men are magnificent. “I’ve been so blind. I almost lost my boy.”
Gabe hurries through the waiting room door and takes us both into a big hug. “Is he—”
“He’s okay. They’ve given him something for the pain, and he won’t need surgery. Deacon is still in surgery. I’ve called his parents.” I sag against Mr. James, and he helps me to a chair. “It’s not your fault, Alice. Don’t you go blaming yourself about this.”
The fact that he even needs to say that makes me feel like it's even more my fault. Gabe sits down beside me and draws me into the crook of his arm. “Don’t.”
My tears slide quietly down my face, and he holds me until I relax in his arms. This is my family. These James’ men. And I’ve hurt them all. “Don’t you see? Gabe, I destroy everything.”
“No. You can’t help that you have a psychotic sadistic freak for a dad.” He pets through my curls while Mr. James and Evan go check on Deacon. “You gave us our Dad back. Seth has never been more honest about his feelings than he is now. And when we get through all of this, you’re going to help us make his dreams come true. You’re our lead, baby. Where you go, we all follow. You’ve won our hearts and our loyalty.”
I sob at his words, and he draws me into his lap. There is nothing sexual about it. He’s my brother. I’m his sister, and we love with a love that has no reason.
Gabe has talked me into coming to their home for the night and I’m settled in Seth’s old bedroom. Seth is in ICU, so they won’t let me stay. I’ll go back for the nine visiting hour. I’m in one of Seth’s big T-shirts, and it smells of him. I sit down at his desk and begin to write.

Walked into my life.
Tore up my dreams with your smile. Knocked down my walls with your heart. And now I’ll follow you over every mile.

Take me back to a place that was good. Where the water laps along the rising shore. And the grass tickles over frantic hands. Guess what. I’m not drowning anymore. Hard. Rising heat. Down the path.
Fallen. Broken. Sinking.
The children lost, and the woman is found. Don’t know what you were thinking. Need you now more than ever.
Need you to find the will.
Need you to find the strength.
With this last call, I’ll stamp my heart and bind the seal. Come back to me. Come back to me. My love, come back to me.

Gabe finds me hunched over the desk, tears seeping. He lifts me in his arms and carries me to the bed. I’m not this weak girl, but I can’t seem to find my feet.
He crawls into the bed behind me and cradles me to him. “Shhh…I knew I’d get you here someday.”
I smack his shoulder behind me, and he chuckles. It makes me laugh and relax. “Gabe, I’m sorry about Molly. I don’t think she meant to hurt me.”
“I know she didn’t.” His fingers flex against my waist. “But that doesn’t make what she did right.”
I sit up and turn on the lamp beside the bed. “Have you ever done anything wrong, even when you knew it was?”
He flips to his back. “I sold all my shares and bought into a company that has made me very wealthy. The outcome was right, but I should have told my dad.”
I lean over him, one hand on his chest. “What did you buy into?”
“It was a prototype of software for a sound boarding, but now it’s a finished concept and is going to be hitting the stores next year. I’m taking the proceeds and opening a production company.” He’d been watching my hand, but now his eyes meet mine, a sense of pride making them lighter than ever. “We’re going to create our own music and help other artists find success.”
“I don’t understand. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“My dad thought Seth was a flake for ditching college and heading into music. I’m not as strong as him. I didn’t want him to know that I loved music too.” He brushes a curl back from my face. We probably looked like the perfect couple, but I don’t think either of us felt anything other than comfort with the other. “I think I worried that it would make him think we’d ditched him for her.”
“Your mom.”
He nods. It’s infinitely the sweetest and saddest thing I’ve ever heard. These James men just keep teaching me about sacrifice.
“I get that.” He doesn’t say anything else and I take a moment to gather my courage. “I love your brother.” Holy shit. I just said it out loud. It’s out in the world and I can’t take it back.
“I know you do, Al.”
“Don’t tell him, okay?”
“It’s yours to give him. Not me.” He hugs me close and we finally drift into sleep.
We arrive at the hospital with only seconds to spare before they let us in ICU. I go straight to Seth’s cubicle and Mr. James, Gabe, and Evan go to see Deacon, who held on through the night. I pull back the curtain and sneak inside in case Seth’s sleeping. His eyes are still swollen shut, but they don’t look as red.
“Alice?”
“Hey, how’d you know it was me?” I’m thrilled that just my being in the room is enough for him.
“I smelled you.”
“Geez, I don’t know if I should say thank you to that.” He reaches out, and I take his hand, sitting on the side of the bed. He’s calm this morning and not wincing quite as much as he was last night. “How’d you rest?”
“Like a zombie. They morphined me up. Moving into a room later today.”
“That’s good.” I squeeze his hand, and he yanks me closer. “Seth.”
“Don’t leave. Stay with me today. I worry about you when you’re gone.” His words are hard to understand because his split lip is making it difficult to open his mouth all the way.
“Seth, come on. I’ll be here for you.” He’s clingy, and I can’t blame him. I’d probably be too if the situation was reversed. He must feel awful being so helpless. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He settles down and holds on to my hand until the nurse tells me that they’re going to get him ready to go into a private room. I kiss the top of his head. “I’m going to go check on Deacon while they take you up. I’ll find you in a few minutes.”
He nods and leans back against the pillows. “Hurry.”
Deacon is in the cubicle two spaces over. The doctors say that he'll be fine, but we're still waiting to see how fast he'll bounce back. He took one bullet to the head and one to the chest. The chest was a clean shot that went through his left pec and out his back, barely missing that big heart of his. But the head wound needed surgery to extract the bullet. Only time will tell how much he'll have to overcome.
I reach out, hovering my hand over his. I don’t want to wake him if he’s sleeping, but if he’s not asleep…I don’t know if I can handle that either. “Deacon?” He's been taken off the respirator, and other than the big white bandage on his head, he appears to be sleeping.
He blinks up at me. “Yeah.”
I sag at the gruff reply. “How you feeling?”
“Like I got shot in the head.”
“That's pretty bad.” I reach out and grab his arm. There aren’t words for how happy I am that this man is still alive. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being there for him.” He grunts but doesn't say anything else. I pull up a chair and sit with him for a while.
“Alice?”
“Yes?”
“He can't lose you. I've never seen him like that...well, not since his mother left.” He sighs and winces. “When I get out of this, we're going to take down your father. Just so you know. We'll take those zips to the police. He's—”
“I know. I'm ready.”
“I’m sorry that it's going to put all kinds of heat on you. But this won't have been for nothing.” His words are slurring, and it won’t be long before he really does slip back into sleep. I can’t wait to tell them all that he’s coherent.
I reach down and kiss his cheek. He smiles, or at least, his lips tip up.
“You're worth every minute. Every bullet. He loves you and we love him. We'd do anything for you guys. But don't let me get shot again.”
I giggle. I love this guy like a brother I’d never had. “Okay, promise.”
They've already taken Seth upstairs to a private recovery room, and they'll move Deacon tomorrow. I run into Gabe at the elevators, and we ride up together. “I was coming to find you.”
“Deacon is going to be okay. Right?” I ask.
“I think so. If no other swelling pops up, the most he'll have is a little bit of irritability, they think.”
We walk down the long hall and find Seth's room. “Hey, you.” I nod at Mr. James sitting on the small couch across the room reading the paper.
“Alice.”
“Mr. James. I'm so glad you're here.”
He arches a brow at me. “Oh?”
I’m about to take the biggest fucking leap of my life. “I need your help later today. Can you meet me at your office at noon?”
He grins up at me. “Absolutely.”
I plant my hands on the plastic foot board of Seth’s bed. “With your lawyers.”
“You bet.”
Seth reaches out his hand. “I'm so proud of you.”