Drunk With Blood (11 page)

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Authors: Steve Wells

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BOOK: Drunk With Blood
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33. The Ai massacre

Joshua 8.21-29

Number Killed: 12,000

The king and people of Ai

After stoning and burning to death Achan and his family (
32
), Joshua was back in the genocide business.

God told Joshua to do unto Ai as they did unto Jericho, except that this time the Israelites could keep some of the loot for themselves (instead of giving it all to him).

Thou shalt do to Ai and her king as thou didst unto Jericho and her king: only the spoil thereof, and the cattle thereof, shall ye take for a prey unto yourselves. Joshua 8.2

So that’s what they did.

They killed the soldiers,

Joshua and all Israel … slew the men of Ai ... so that they let none of them remain or escape. 8.21-22

murdered all the women and children,

Joshua drew not his hand back, wherewith he stretched out the spear, until he had utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of Ai. 8.26

burned the city,

Joshua burnt Ai, and made it an heap for ever. 8.28

killed the King of Ai, and hung his dead body on a tree.

The king of Ai he hanged on a tree until eventide. 8.29

Just like God told them to do.

And, finally, after they were done killing all the people, Joshua killed some animals as a “peace offering” to his bloody god of war.

Then Joshua built an altar unto the LORD ... and ... offered thereon burnt offerings unto the LORD, and sacrificed peace offerings. 8:30-31

One thing I really like about this story (What’s not to like?) is that this time I don’t have to guess the number of victims. The Bible tells us how many were killed: 12,000.

And … all that fell that day, both of men and women, were twelve thousand. 8.25

34. God stops the sun so that Joshua can get his killing done in the daylight

Joshua 10.10-12

Estimated Number Killed: 5,000

Amorites

Joshua and the Israelites slaughtered or enslaved the people from every city that they came across. They killed everyone in Jericho (
31
) and Ai (
33
) and enslaved the people of Gibeon (Joshua 9.21-27). So the neighboring cities were getting kind of nervous.

Five kings from these cities (the Amorite coalition) decided to attack the Israelites. Then God gets involved.

God tells Joshua not to worry; he has given the Amorites into Joshua’s hand, and the Amorites would just run away when they were attacked.

The LORD said unto Joshua, Fear them not: for I have delivered them into thine hand; there shall not a man of them stand before thee. Joshua 10.8

So Joshua attacked, but it was God who did most of the dirty work. He “discomfited them” and even “chased them along the way.”

The LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way. 10.10

But God was just getting started. He threw down from heaven giant hailstones and killed even more Amorite soldiers than the Israelite army.

The LORD cast down great stones from heaven upon them unto Azekah, and they died: they were more which died with hailstones than they whom the children of Israel slew with the sword. 10.11

Then God made the sun and moon stop moving for 24 hours so that Joshua would have plenty of daylight to finish killing off the Amorites. (It was this verse, among others, that got Galileo in so much trouble. If God stopped the sun from moving, then the sun moves around the earth.)

Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites ... Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon. And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. ... So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day. 10.12-13

So in this killing, God got directly involved. He slaughtered people, “chased them along the way,” cast down huge hailstones from heaven, and, at Joshua’s request, he stopped the sun from moving for 24 hours. You just can’t ask much more from a God than that.

Here’s how the Bible puts it.

There was no day like that before it or after it, that the LORD hearkened unto the voice of a man: for the LORD fought for Israel. 10.14

(Since the Amorite coalition consisted of 5 cities, I put the number killed at 5000. 1000 for each city.)

35. Five kings killed and hung on trees

Joshua 10.20-26

Estimated Number Killed: 10,000

Five Amorite Kings and their soldiers

In his last killing (
34
), God got right in there and “fought for Israel.” He “discomfited them ... and slew them with a great slaughter ... and chased them along the way.” He “cast down great stones from heaven” and made the sun (and moon) stand still still so that Joshua could get his killing done in the broad daylight. God hadn’t been so busy since he made all the stars in a single day.

But while God was busy chasing people, throwing stones, and stopping the sun and the moon from moving, the five kings got away. They were holed up in a cave like Bin Laden.

But these five kings fled, and hid themselves in a cave at Makkedah. Joshua 10.16

When the Israelites found them, Joshua told them to roll some big stones over the mouth of the cave to trap them, and then chase and kill any of the Amorite soldiers that were trying to get away. He told them to “smite the hindmost of them” (kick their butts).

Pursue after your enemies, and smite the hindmost of them; suffer them not to enter into their cities: for the LORD your God hath delivered them into your hand. 10.19

So that’s what they did.

And it came to pass, when Joshua and the children of Israel had made an end of slaying them with a very great slaughter, till they were consumed. 10.20

Then they opened up the cave and brought the five kings to Joshua. He and his captains then do something strange: they put their feet on the necks of the kings.

Joshua ... said unto the captains of the men of war which went with him, Come near, put your feet upon the necks of these kings. And they came near, and put their feet upon the necks of them. 10.24

While they are doing this, Joshua says

Thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies against whom ye fight. 10.25

So I guess God does this to his enemies, too.

After Joshua withdraws his feet from the kings’ necks, he does what he does best: he kills them.

Joshua smote them, and slew them. 10.26a

And hangs their dead bodies on trees until evening.

And hanged them on five trees: and they were hanging upon the trees until the evening. 10.26b

Then he took down their bodies, put them back in the cave that they were hiding in, and covered the entrance to the cave with a bunch of rocks. The rocks are still there to this day. No kidding.

They took them down off the trees, and cast them into the cave wherein they had been hid, and laid great stones in the cave’s mouth, which remain until this very day. 10.27

(I put the death toll for the “very great slaughter” of Joshua 10.20 at 10,000.)

36. Joshua utterly destroyed all that breathed as the Lord God commanded

Joshua 10.28-42

Estimated Number Killed: 7,000

Seven kings and all their people

The title pretty much says it all on this one. It’s kind of boring reading though.

Joshua took Makkedah, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and the king thereof he utterly destroyed, them, and all the souls that were therein; he let none remain : and he did to the king of Makkedah as he did unto the king of Jericho. Joshua 10.28

The same thing happens in the same way seven times, all in about a dozen verses or so.

Then Joshua ... fought against Libnah: And the LORD delivered it also ... and he smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein; he let none remain. 10.29-30

The LORD delivered Lachish into the hand of Israel, which took it … and smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein. 10.32

Then Horam king of Gezer came up to help Lachish; and Joshua smote him and his people, until he had left him none remaining. 10.33

Joshua passed unto Eglon … and smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein he utterly destroyed that day. 10.34-35

Joshua went up … unto Hebron; and they fought against it: And they took it, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and the king thereof, and all the cities thereof, and all the souls that were therein; he left none remaining. 10.36-37

Joshua returned, and all Israel with him, to Debir; and fought against it: And he took it, and the king thereof, and all the cities thereof; and they smote them with the edge of the sword, and utterly destroyed all the souls that were therein; he left none remaining. 10.38-39

So Joshua smote all the country of the hills, and of the south, and of the vale, and of the springs, and all their kings: he left none remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the LORD God of Israel commanded. 10.40

And all these kings and their land did Joshua take at one time, because the LORD God of Israel fought for Israel. 10.42

So God delivered seven kingdoms and Joshua killed everyone in each kingdom “with the edge of the sword.”

And you can’t blame it all on Joshua, either. He was just following orders, destroying everything that breathed, “as the Lord God of Israel commanded.”

(Estimated number of victims: 7000, 1000 from each of seven cities.)

37. The genocide of twenty kingdoms

Joshua 11.6-20

Estimated Number Killed: 20,000

Jabin, Jobab, and the people of Hazor

In God’s last killing (
36
), everyone in seven cities was massacred, along with the kings, with the land taken by the Israelites. When King Jabin of Hazor heard about it, he sent a letter to all the surrounding kingdoms (those that hadn’t yet been slaughtered by the Israelites) to form a coalition to defend against the Israelites.

When Jabin king of Hazor had heard those things, that he sent to Jobab king of Madon, and to the king of Shimron, and to the king of Achshaph, And to the kings that were on the north of the mountains, and of the plains south of Chinneroth, and in the valley, and in the borders of Dor on the west, And to the Canaanite on the east and on the west, and to the Amorite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, and the Jebusite in the mountains, and to the Hivite under Hermon in the land of Mizpeh. Joshua 11.1-3

And it worked, too. All the kings (around 20 or so) joined the coalition, forming an army with more soldiers than the grains of sand on all the ocean’s beaches.

And they went out, they and all their hosts with them, much people, even as the sand that is upon the sea shore in multitude, with horses and chariots very many. And when all these kings were met together, they came and pitched together at the waters of Merom, to fight against Israel. 11.4-5

But God told Joshua not to be afraid because tomorrow he would kill them all and deliver their dead bodies to Joshua.

The LORD said unto Joshua, Be not afraid because of them: for to morrow about this time will I deliver them up all slain before Israel. 11.6a

God told Joshua to hamstring (“hough” in the KJV) their horses and burn their chariots.

The LORD said unto Joshua ... thou shalt hough their horses, and burn their chariots with fire. 11.6b

And that’s what happened.

The LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel, who smote them … until they left them none remaining. And Joshua did unto them as the LORD bade him: he houghed their horses, and burnt their chariots with fire. 11.8-9

The Israelites killed the King Jabin of Hazor and his people until “there was not any left to breathe.”

Joshua … took Hazor, and smote the king thereof with the sword: for Hazor beforetime was the head of all those kingdoms. And they smote all the souls that were therein with the edge of the sword, utterly destroying them: there was not any left to breathe: and he burnt Hazor with fire. 11.10-11

Then they did the same to all of the other kings and cities in King Jabin’s coalition.

All the cities of those kings, and all the kings of them, did Joshua take, and smote them with the edge of the sword, and he utterly destroyed them, as Moses the servant of the LORD commanded. 11.12

Joshua, of course, killed all the kings.

So Joshua took ... all their kings ... and smote them, and slew them. 11.16-17

But the most disgusting thing about this whole bloody, genocidal affair is that it was completely unnecessary. God purposefully hardened the kings’ hearts so that he would have an excuse to kill them, along with all the men, women, children, and babies in their kingdoms.

For it was of the LORD to harden their hearts, that they should come against Israel in battle, that he might destroy them utterly, and that they might have no favour, but that he might destroy them, as the LORD commanded Moses. 11.20

(I estimated 20,000 for this killing, 1000 from each kingdom.)

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