Authors: Matt Beaumont
God, it was good to get out of here at lunch!! Hope you feel better!!!!!! Remember what I said – I think you should definitely, definitely leave!!!!! You’re my best friend in the world and I don’t know how I could work here without you!!!!! But you’ve got to think of yourself, and you’re better than this place!!!!! Zxxx
Zoë Clarke – 1/4/00, 2:27pm | |
to: | Rachel Stevenson |
cc: | |
re: | job changes |
Rachel, thanks so much for the offer. I’m so excited that Mr. Crutton suggested me for the position. Obviously it entails extra responsibility and is a big step up. As I said I would, I’ve given it a lot of thought over lunch. In the end, though, it’s an easy decision to make. I’d be thrilled to accept – Zoë
Carla Browne – 1/4/00, 2:29pm | |
to: | Zoë Clarke |
cc: | |
re: | this shit hole!!!! |
I don’t know what I’d do without you, Zoë!!!!!! You’re the only one in this stupid bloody place that stops me from going mad!!!!!!!!!! I do
feel better, and I’ve decided that I’m
not
going to resign!!!!!!!!! I can’t let those bastards win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cxxx
Zoë Clarke – 1/4/00, 2:41 pm | |
to: | Carla Browne |
cc: | |
re: | fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
In-fucking-credible!!!!!!! That two-faced, lying cow, Rachel, has only gone and offered me the Crettin job!!!!!!!!! I mean, doesn’t she know we’re best friends in the world?!!! The thing is though, I think I’ve got to say yes. Before you go mad, I don’t want to, but I don’t really have a choice! It
is
5k more and I’ve got a
massive
MasterCard bill to pay and my gas is about to be
cut off
!!!!! And you
really, really didn’t want it
did you?!!!!!! Oh, God, what am I gonna do?!!!!!!!!! . . . Zxxx
Pinki Fallon – 1/4/00, 2:52pm | |
to: | Ken Perry |
cc: | |
re: | emergency! |
I think we need some of your maintenance guys to help us out here. There’s been a bit of an incident between Zoë Clarke and one of the other girls. Zoë’ll need a new desk lamp and PC, unless you can get the potting compost from the yucca out of her floppy drive. Also there’s a bit of blood on one of the carpet tiles. It’s only a small cut, so no need for first-aid. Ta . . .
Simon Horne – 1/4/00, 2:55pm | |
to: | Susi Judge-Davis |
cc: | |
re: | hormonal women |
Darling, have those dreadful girls finished their caterwauling yet? What was that commotion? I have to see David with a Mako idea and I would like to make it to his office with life and limb intact.
Susi Judge-Davis – 1/4/00, 2:56pm | |
to: | Simon Horne |
cc: | |
re: | hormonal women |
The coast is clear, sweetie . . . Sx
Carla Browne – 1/4/00, 3:05pm | |
to: | All Departments |
cc: | [email protected] |
re: | fuck the fucking lot of you!!!!!!! |
I’m leaving now, but before I go there’s some things you should know!!!!!!!
• Zoë Clarke is a lying slag and she gave Simon Horne a BJ at last year’s D&AD.
• She said he has a really small dick.
• Daniel Westbrooke keeps tarts’ call box cards in his desk drawer.
• The Crettin buys his coke off Vince Douglas.
• The Crettin also spent £3,500 in one night at a table-dancing club and put it through on his expenses as “qualitative research fees.”
• You can all fuck off and die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel Stevenson – 1/4/00, 3:09pm | |
to: | Chandra Kapoor |
cc: | David Crutton |
re: | urgent |
Please delete Carla Browne’s User ID from e-mail with immediate effect.
Thank you.
Rachel Stevenson
Personnel
David Crutton – 1/4/00, 3:20pm | |
to: | Harriet Greenbaum |
cc: | |
re: | cracked |