e (31 page)

	[email protected] 1/6/00, 1:13pm (3:13pm local)
to:	david_crutton@millershanks–london.co.uk
cc:
re:	balls on the line

To be mentioned in the same breathings as Deputy Dawg and Yogi Bear is an honour of which I feel most unworthy of deserving.

You are a true friend – Pertti.

	Rachel Stevenson – 1/6/00, 1:16pm
to:	Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
re:	Zoë Clarke

Seems I got your opinion whether I wanted it or not. You had better see me.

	Chandra Kapoor – 1/6/00, 1:18pm
to:	All Departments
cc:
re:	e-mail

We need to carry out urgent maintenance on Lotus Notes and the server will shut down for approximately two hours. This will take
place at 1:30 today, so everyone should log off the system before then. We apologise for the inconvenience, but once we are up and running again we will have seen the last of e-mails that end up in the wrong hands.

Chandra Kapoor

Head of IT

	Brett Topowlski – 1/6/00, 1:29pm
to:	Liam O’Keefe
cc:
re:	bloody ada

Just back from doc’s. Can’t believe what we missed. Vin is catatonic. Does this mea

*   *   *

	Chandra Kapoor – 1/6/00, 3:15pm
to:	All Departments
cc:
re:	e-mail

I’m happy to report that e-mail is online again. Thank you for your patience.

	Zoë Clarke – 1/6/00, 3:16pm
to:	Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
re:	working relationships

What have you been saying to Rachel? She’s just had me down there for half an hour, talking to me about the importance of the job of PA to a CEO! What am I? An idiot? I know how important this job is and I can do it standing on my head which is more than can be
said of you!!!!!!!!! I’m more professional, discreet and trustworthy than you’ll ever be in a million years!!! And you know I’ve got a funeral tomorrow. This is a really bad time for me and I’m really upset and have only stayed on at work today because of my professional attitude!!! And don’t try and deny that you’ve been slagging me off! She wouldn’t’ve known about me being off tomorrow if you hadn’t’ve told her!!! As for people slagging people off behind their backs, I wouldn’t be so high and sodding mighty if I was you!!! Simon thinks you’re useless and I know that ’cos he told someone who told me. Given how discreet I am, don’t bother to ask me who it was either. You’re just jealous ’cos I’m working for David and I’ll be more important than you!!

	Zoë Clarke – 1/6/00, 3:19pm
to:	Lorraine Pallister
cc:
re:	Susi

Mate, from one un-stuck-up chick to another, this is a warning. As of Monday, you are going to be working with the bitch from hell!!! She’s a fucking little Hitler!!!! She waxes her top lip!!!!! Anyway, any tips you wanna give about working for David, pass them on. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours!!! I’m going now. I’ve got a really traumatising bereavement to cope with, but I’ll be in on Monday – in my new job!!!! We’ll go for a JD & Coke then! Loveya. . . Zxxx

	Susi Judge-Davis – 1/6/00, 3:20pm
to:	Rachel Stevenson
cc:
bcc:	David Crutton Simon Horne
re:	Zoë Clarke

Rachel, I’m forwarding an e-mail I just received from Zoë. This is the kind of behaviour I have to put up with on a daily basis.

I’ve emboldened the parts that I find the most offensive. This isn’t a formal complaint – strictly FYI.

ATTACHMENT

	Zoë Clarke – 1/6/00, 3:16pm
to:	Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
re:	you two-faced bitch!!!!!!

What the
fuck
have you been saying to Rachel? She’s just had me down there for
fucking
half an hour, talking to me about the importance of the job of PA to a CEO! What am I? A
fucking
idiot? I know how important this job is and I can do it standing on my
fucking
head which is more than can be said of you,
you fucking self-important, precious bitch!!!!!!!!!
I’m more professional, discreet and trustworthy than you’ll ever be in a million years!!! And you know I’ve got a funeral tomorrow. This is a really bad time for me and I’m really upset and have only stayed on at work today because of my professional attitude!!! And don’t try and deny that you’ve been slagging me off! She wouldn’t’ve known about me being off tomorrow if you hadn’t’ve told her!!! As for people slagging people off behind their backs, I wouldn’t be so
high and sodding mighty
if I was you!!!
Simon thinks you’re a useless twat and I know that ’cos he told someone who told me.
Given how discreet I am, don’t bother to ask me who it was either. You’re just
a jealous bitch ’cos
I’m working for David and I’ll be more important than you!!
Shove it up your arse, Susi, you vicious fucking cow.