e (29 page)

What time do you call this? We will have that chat at lunchtime.

	Simon Horne – 1/6/00, 11:43am
to:	Rachel Stevenson
cc:
re:	Liam O’Keefe

Please be informed that in recognition of his unstinting efforts of late I have decided to award Liam a lump sum bonus of £15,000.

Could you please note this in your own records and instruct the appropriate parties in accounts.

Si

	Simon Horne – 1/6/00, 11:49am
to:	Melinda Sheridan
cc:
re:	Tarantino

Melinda, precious, I am flattered that my name should be linked with his.

I am sure Quentin feels likewise.

But for the life of me I do not know from where this talk springs.

Rest assured that talk is all it is.

On a separate point, you would be advised to keep your department’s Sony Digicam under lock and key.

This is a valuable piece of agency equipment.

It must be kept out of irresponsible hands.

Si

	Liam O’Keefe – 1/6/00, 11:50am
to:	Lorraine Pallister
cc:
re:	pay dirt

Sold movie rights. Lunch. Think big (three courses
and
coffee).

	Rachel Stevenson – 1/6/00, 11:51am
to:	Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
re:	you and Zoë

I would prefer you stopped copying me on your rebukes to Zoë. If the pair of you are having personal problems, please sort them out between yourselves. If they persist, speak to me directly. Thank you.

	Letitia Hegg / [email protected] 1/6/00, 12:00pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Letty awaits

Darling, the ’95 is rooming and your favourite crab cakes are
en route
from Silk and Spice. I am slavering!

	Rachel Stevenson – 1/6/00, 12:03pm
to:	David Crutton
cc:
re:	Pinki and Liam

Simon informs me that he has re-instated Pinki Fallon, but I am not clear as to whether she was fired or resigned. From a legal standpoint this is a crucial distinction. There is another rather confusing issue. Have you sanctioned Pinki’s 20k rise and Liam’s 15k bonus? If the answer is yes, I will put the paperwork in hand. Can we talk please? Thanks.

	David Crutton – 1/6/00, 12:10pm
to:	Simon Horne
cc:	Lorraine Pallister
re:	crunch time

I will return from lunch at 15:30hrs. Then I’ll probably go for a piss, call my lovely wife, and then no doubt I’ll have my daily video-conference with our American cousins. So at 16:45hrs I should be free to see this amazing Coke campaign. You can also entertain me with the story of Pinki, Liam and thirty-five grand.

Lorraine, make sure he turns up.

	Lorraine Pallister – 1/6/00, 12:26pm
to:	Liam O’Keefe
cc:
re:	nosebag

Well done on your windfall. I’ve booked a cab to l’Odeon on Boss Man’s account. Fuck knows if it’s any good, but when I was doing his ex’s it looked bloody pricey. If we get a quiet table with an overhanging cloth, I’ll show you how a northern girl says congrats to her boy. See you in reception in fifteen. And get my knickers back – they cost me £25.

	[email protected] 1/6/00, 12:33pm (2:33pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	crunch time

How like the peas in the pods are we! I too am evacuating my bladder before I am speaking to my dear wife!

Your twin,

Pertti

	Liam O’Keefe – 1/6/00, 12:36pm
to:	Nigel Godley
cc:
bcc:	Lorraine Pallister
re:	Victoria’s Secret