Elliot and the Pixie Plot (13 page)

And he didn’t at all like Harold the Shapeshifter telling him he couldn’t go home again.

Elliot dropped his bundle just as Harold was drawing in a large breath of air to change into something, probably a scary something. He grabbed Harold’s ear and held on tight.

“Stop that!” Harold said. “I’ve got to change into something that can kill you.”

“I’m sick of everyone in the Underworld trying to kill me lately,” Elliot said. “So it’s bad timing on your part. I’m not letting go.”

Harold grabbed Elliot’s shoulders and started kicking his shins. In turn, Elliot kicked him back, all the time keeping hold of Harold’s ear.

“That really hurts,” Harold said.

“It’s my ear I’m pinching anyway,” Elliot said. “You’re just borrowing it.”

“It’s your ear, but it’s on my body, and it hurts. Want to see what it’s like?” With that, Harold grabbed Elliot’s ear.

“Ow!” Elliot yelped. “You’re pinching harder than I am.” So he pinched Harold’s ear harder. In return, Harold began stomping on his feet.

“You can’t stomp on a king’s foot,” Patches said. She rolled up her sleeves and flung some magic toward Harold, who suddenly sank to the ground like all the bones had gone out of his body. Elliot, who had been holding tightly to Harold’s ear, also dropped to the ground, but he knew he still had bones, because they cracked against a rock as he landed.

“What did you do to him?” Elliot asked.

“I just zapped his energy for a couple of seconds,” Patches said. “An Elf taught me that trick a while ago.”

“Cool.” Elliot leaned in to Harold and asked, “So why do you want to kill me?”

“I’m in love,” Harold said. “We Shapeshifters sometimes do crazy things when we’re in love.”

“That’s stupid,” Elliot said. “Who are you in love with? My sister, Wendy? Because I’ve got news for you. You’re up there pretending to be me, so if you go and fall in love with your sister, that’s just creepy.”

“It’s not your sister,” Harold said, “though I must say it’s been nice to eat real human food after all this time. I’ve eaten so much of her food, it’s really surprised her. She says I’ve never been as nice to her as I have this week.”

Elliot groaned and Harold continued, “But, no, the girl I love is that beautiful human Cami Wortson.”

For a moment, Elliot’s brain went numb. He thought his heart had just stopped beating and that he’d faint and fall back into the gripping mud and sink to the center of the earth. And that would be fine, because not him or anyone who looked like him was ever supposed to even like Cami, much less claim to love her!

“No,” he finally said. “No, you can’t love her, because she’s out to destroy my life. Which means as long as you look like me, she’s out to destroy your life too. And if she finds out that you like her, she’ll use that as a weapon that may or may not involve her reaching down your throat and ripping out your guts and feeding them to a crocodile!”

Harold sat up on his elbows. “That seems a little extreme for the love of my life.”

Elliot shuddered. “Cami Wortson is not the love of your life. You’d have an easier time loving a toad. Trust me.”

“And she has a nice smile,” Harold said. “I don’t think toads can smile.”

Elliot had to give him that. He’d never seen a toad smile either. “Okay, listen,” he said. “I have to let go of your ear now, because this is getting really weird. But don’t try to change into anything that’s going to kill me, because Patches will just zap your energy again.”

“I can really only do that once,” Patches whispered to Elliot, but he shushed her and hoped Harold hadn’t heard.

Harold sat up. “I won’t change into anything that can kill you. But I can’t let you return to the surface again either. I’ve decided to remain as you for the rest of your life.”

Elliot shook his head. “No.”

“Why not? For your information, I’ve been a very good Elliot Penster. I’m probably better at it than you are.”

“You can’t be me, because nobody else knows the combination to my piggy bank. I’ve got my whole life’s savings in there, and you’ll never get it, because you don’t know the combination.”

“I broke the safe with a hammer and used the money to buy Cami some flowers,” Harold said.

“Oh.” That had been Elliot’s best argument. “But did you have to buy flowers? Why didn’t you just go ahead and propose marriage?”

Harold’s eyes lit up. “Do you think—”

“No!” Elliot cried. “Listen, I’m not going to be here much longer. I just have to get a couple of things from Kovol, and then I’m going home, so you’d better get back up there and make enemies with Cami again.”

“You’re going to make Kovol mad,” Harold said.

“Not if I don’t wake him up,” Elliot said.

Harold chewed on his bottom lip for a minute and then said, “How about this? I can change into a large bird and fly you to the border of Demon Territory in just a few minutes. It’ll save you days of travel.”

“No, thanks,” Patches said.

“Wait!” Elliot said to Patches. “I lost most of our food in the gripping mud, and I’d rather get this over with.”

“You shouldn’t trust a Shapeshifter,” Patches said.

Elliot turned to Harold. “Are you only flying me there so that Kovol can kill me faster and then you can be me forever?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Harold said.

Elliot looked back at Patches. “See? There’s no reason not to trust him. He’s telling the truth.”

“About wanting you gone.”

“Yeah, but it’s still the truth.”

“Okay,” Patches sighed. “Fine.”

Harold stood and drew in a deep breath. As the air moved inside him, he stretched his arms out wide. They expanded and grew into wings covered with long, brown feathers. His legs thinned and grew talons where his toes would have been. Finally, his nose stretched into a sharp orange beak, and his hair became smooth white feathers that covered his eagle head.

Harold looked at Elliot and cawed to get on his back. Elliot climbed on, then turned to Patches. “Listen, he’s going to take me all the way to Demon Territory. I want you to go back home. I’ll come back with your father in another day or two.”

“No, wait!” Patches said, but it was too late.

Elliot had already climbed onto Harold the Eagle’s back. As Harold lifted off the ground, Patches leapt into the air and tried to grab hold of Harold’s tail, but Harold shook her off and back to the ground.

“Hey!” Elliot looked down. Patches was standing and trying to yell at him, but they were already too far away for him to hear her. He knew she’d be angry about his leaving so fast, but at least she was okay.

The view of the Underworld from the air was better than anything Elliot could have imagined. He could easily see back to Burrowsville, which from here looked like it was made of small mounds in the ground that served as the Brownies’ homes. Then he stopped himself. The Brownies’ homes
were
small mounds in the ground. Far in the distance he could see the Glimmering Forest. He wondered if Mr. Willimaker was being held somewhere near there by the Fairies.

Elliot was pretty mad at the Fairies and still mad at the Pixies. He was mad at Harold too, for wanting to take over his life, even though Harold was doing him a big favor right now. Of course, Harold was only doing him the favor so that Elliot could get killed faster. Then Harold, pretending to be Elliot, could declare his love to Elliot’s worst enemy.

On second thought, Elliot seemed to have a lot of enemies lately. If he included Tubs, Grissel, the Fairies, and the Pixies, Cami was only his second or third worst enemy.

Harold cawed again and aimed a wing ahead of them. Elliot looked down at what appeared to be a long, black hole. Although it was late in the morning, it looked blacker than midnight in that spot.

That was Demon Territory. Somewhere in the middle of the blackness was the worst Demon in the history of time. And Elliot had to take a hair from his head. And now, one of his socks too.

They neared the territory and Harold flew lower to the ground, preparing to land. By now, Elliot couldn’t see Burrowsville anymore. He couldn’t see anyplace he recognized. The thought occurred to him that even if he somehow survived in Demon Territory, how was he going to get back to Burrowsville again?

He put his mouth close to where he thought Harold’s ear would be, if giant birds had ears. “Will you wait around to fly me home when I come out?”

Harold shook his head so roughly that a few feathers fell free. Elliot didn’t blame him. He wouldn’t want to wait around either.

They landed in a clearing not far from the entrance to Demon Territory. Elliot slid off Harold’s back, and soon Harold changed into the human boy he’d talked to on the surface.

“Okay, listen,” Elliot said. “I had time to think up there, and I’ll make you a deal. If I don’t come back, then it’s okay with me if you want to live out the rest of my life. Just promise never to tell my parents. My parents can be old-fashioned, and hearing that their son is really a Shapeshifter named Harold—well, they’d have a hard time with that.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed that human parents are very strange about Shapeshifters taking over their children’s lives.”

“They love me,” Elliot said. “But as long as they think you’re me, I guess they’ll love you too.”

Harold kicked at the ground. “Now, why did you have to go and be nice to me when I’m clearly trying to help you get killed?” His eyes narrowed. “But in a way, being nice only makes me feel guilty for wanting you killed. It’s not at all nice to make someone feel guilty.”

Elliot shoved his hands into his pockets. “I have to go in there now, with or without your help. So don’t feel guilty. Just go back and be a good me. Be a better me. I wasn’t very nice to my family before I left them.”

“It’ll be hard to be better than the Elliot Penster I know,” Harold said, “but I’ll try. I’ll be the kind of boy Cambria Dawn Wortson can love in return.”

That pretty much ruined the moment for Elliot. He rolled his eyes and said, “Don’t get too comfortable, though, because I am planning on coming back.”

Coming back? Crazy thing to say, considering he didn’t even know how to get in there first.

Elliot started to walk off, then with a smile turned to look back at the Shapeshifter. “I bet you can’t get me inside Demon Territory.”

“Bet I—” Harold stopped. “You’re trying to trick me, aren’t you?”

“Who, me?” Elliot raised his hands to show his innocence. “I just think it’ll be too hard for you to get me into Demon Territory. I bet you’re not that clever.”

“Bet I am,” Harold said, walking up to Elliot. “And I know you’re tricking me, but I don’t care, because it just so happens that I want to take the bet. I’ll show you just how clever I am.”

Elliot turned to look at Harold, but Harold had changed again. He was now an Elf. Probably. Based upon the Elves Elliot had seen in a lot of movies, Harold was not how he figured Elves would look.

Elliot had always thought Elves would be smaller than him, like most Underworld creatures seemed to be. But Harold was tall, very slim, and very handsome. He had pointed ears on the side of his head, and his skin was pale in color.

“You’re an Elf now?” Elliot asked.

“Elves are the caretakers of Demon Territory,” Harold said. “No humans can get through.”

“That’s fine for you, but how do I get in?” Elliot asked.

Harold sighed. “Do I have to do everything? Honestly, you’d think I was the only one who wanted to see you killed today.” He rubbed his hands together, then ran them along the edges of Elliot’s ears. Elliot felt a tickling sensation in his head. When Harold removed his hands, Elliot touched his ears. They were pointed, like Harold’s.

“You can change my shape?” he asked.

“I can only change a few small things, and those won’t last more than five or ten minutes, so we’ve got to hurry. Are you ready for this, Elliot? Because after the next step you take, it’ll be too late to turn back.”

Elliot held his breath, closed his eyes, and took the next step.