Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (30 page)

Bells rang in my ears and my stomach tightened as I remem-

bered Lincoln’s words.
I
just
wanted
you
to
be
prepared, have the
upper hand
.

No wonder rock climbing had been on his list of must- dos. I

thought back to my most recent attempt with Steph. I couldn’t

afford to be so reckless today. No safety rope and no angels waiting to catch me. I was quickly rethinking my hasty refusal to let

Phoenix escort me. I glanced at my phone screen; just over an hour till sunrise, too late to do anything about it now.

I surveyed the cliff face as best I could, looking for the most suitable route and assessing backup paths. A little reluctantly, I settled for working my way up the right- hand side of the escarpment. It appeared to have the best footing, as far as I could see anyway. Of course, there was a catch. The top third looked like vertical suicide.

I knew it would be a tough climb, but the other paths didn’t look as doable, with big crevasses cut out of the middle sections. With no buddy and no ropes, they would be impossible.

I pulled off my sweater and stuffed my phone into my pocket.

After trying a number of arrangements with the water bottle, I gave up. I drank what I could and left the bottle along with my sweater at the base of the rock.

The first third of the climb was relatively straightforward, and I kept a steady pace. But there was no avoiding that after already climbing the mountain, I was tiring quickly. I tried to take short breaks, but hanging on in midair soon felt like more of a hindrance than a help.

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At about the halfway point, the rock face shifted in angle,

becoming a more severe slope. Foot- and handholds became harder to come by and I slipped a couple of times, but managed to stay on course. At the base of the vertical rise to the top, there was a narrow landing where I could stand. I took the opportunity for a brief rest and also wriggled my phone out of my pocket to check the time. I had about twenty minutes till sunrise. My hands were so sweaty, a slippery film had formed over my fingers. I did my best to give each hand a thorough wipe on my pants while keeping balance on the

tiny ledge. I was running out of time, not to mention if I fell at this point…Let’s just say I wouldn’t be up for another try in a hurry.

I surveyed the next section carefully and picked out as many

footholds and handgrips as I could to map out my path.
Come on,
Vi. You can do this. Easy.
I sucked in a breath of champions and I was on my way.

I may have been able to fool my mind for a short while, but my

body wasn’t having it. My arms shook, weary from overuse and

supporting my entire weight; I didn’t have long before they would start to give out on me. Nausea swept through me as my muscles

burned and knotted with lactic acid. My mouth was rapidly oozing saliva that tasted of thin, metallic- like blood as my system tried to flush it through.

When my right hand finally grabbed at the top of the rock face

and struggled to find a grip, I couldn’t stop myself from wildly reaching, desperately seeking an end to the physical torment. My hands worked with a jerky urgency and my fingernails bent back

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and snapped as I scratched at the top of the rock until I found a good hold. My foot followed nicely into a previous handgrip and I levered myself up, folding my body over the top. Once I got

my knees onto the landing, I crawled frantically into a safe zone, desperate to be away from the edge.

I barely had time to pull myself onto all fours before I threw up.

Lying on the cool hard surface, I focused on what was most

important at that moment: remembering how to breathe. Though

every muscle in my body screamed at me, I managed to stand and

walk to the opposite edge of the cliff top. Strangely, I wasn’t even shocked when I saw the death drop that lay before me. Looking

down, the canyon was as deep as the mountain had been high…and

then maybe more. The leap would be certain suicide. Things weren’t looking up and it seemed I was only going down. A noise escaped my lips. I wasn’t sure if it was a laugh or a cry.

My phone no longer had reception but the screen still lit up

and reported that it was three minutes till sunrise. The sky glowed with the promise of daybreak, and birds throughout the forest

below were starting their morning songs. I looked out over the

surrounding forest. It was beautiful. I waited a moment, soaking it all up before I allowed acceptance to sink in. No matter how picturesque it looked, no matter what kind of peace I could draw from it, nothing was going to change the fact that I was about to leap off the biggest mother of a cliff I had ever stood on. Nope, I was all alone and I was screwed and…I knew it.

With only seconds left, I tried to clear my head and stop the

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panic. I let go of all the inhibitions I normally forced upon myself and my thoughts drifted to Lincoln. The sound of a beating heart thrummed through my mind.
Da- dum, da- dum, da- dum.
I knew it was his, knew he was still alive. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the too- slow rhythm of his heart, taking a deep breath, readying myself. I may not have had faith in much right then, but love or hate Lincoln, I had faith in
him
.

I slowly opened my eyes. The sun speared its first bright rays

of golden orange into the sky and I leapt from the cliff with the sorrowful knowledge that no matter what the outcome, at the very least, part of me would die that day.

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chapter
twenty- five

“For your sake, I hurry over land and water;

For your sake, I cross the desert and split the mountain in two,
And turn my face from all things,

Until the time I reach the place

Where I am alone with You.”

all haLLaJ

I couldn’t breathe. I was face down in something. Something gritty.

Th oughts of being buried alive burned through my mind.

I fll exed a hand; more grit slid through my fi ngers. I pushed some weight onto my elbow to lift my heavy head, but my arm slid out from under me, sending me back for another ground kissing. I gasped for air and spat grit from my mouth, the sweat on my face providing the perfect glue for it to cling to. I forced my eyes open and glimpsed a slice of burning light before shutting them tight against the glare.

Th at voice, the one that you’re
really
supposed to listen to, screamed at me,
Get up, get up, open your eyes. GET UP!

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I managed to get on all fours and twist into an awkward sitting position. I opened my eyes again gradually. The burning light I had seen was the reflection of the blazing sun at full height, bouncing off the sand. Sand…but no beach, just desert. No trees, no cliffs, no rocks, no dirt, just sand and…me.

Right on cue, just when I thought I was completely alone, came

the sound of someone clearing his throat. Discovering a reserve of energy I had thought long gone, I found myself on my feet within a nanosecond.

To my right stood a man. He looked like he was on his way

home from a formal beach party— black pants and white shirt

open at the collar and untucked. No shoes. I tried to make out

his face while squinting against the sun. He was handsome, with honey- brown hair falling to his shoulders and what looked like a two- day stubble on his chin.

He was observing me patiently. He didn’t smile or frown; he

simply stood there, watching, feet resting lightly on the sand, hands by his sides.

He cleared his throat again, focusing on my stance. I was still holding a defensive position: feet apart, knees bent, hands at the ready. It took effort, but I slowly relaxed my pose, straightening my body, bringing my feet closer together, and letting my hands hang at my sides. It was less obvious, but I knew I still had a good footing. If I had to move quickly, I still had a fighting chance.

He just watched, expression unmoving.

Silence stretched and my already frantically beating heart found 256

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that it could, in fact, pound even faster. Was I supposed to say something? Frenzied thoughts collided in my head.
Did
Griffin
tell
me
I
was
supposed
to
say
something? Should I introduce myself? Should
I run? The sun is high— Lincoln! How long have I been here? How long
have I been gone?

“May I assist?” the stranger said. He didn’t have an accent so

much as he carefully enunciated each word.

“I…umm…I…what?”

While I grappled for something to say, a mist, not unlike the

one I had seen fall over Griffin and Malachi, seeped out of him and drifted slowly over to me, showering me in a glory of colors. As the tiny particles touched my skin, they disappeared.

The stranger’s power, for I assumed that’s what it was, surrounded me and continued to grow. The logical part of my brain demanded,
Run, run, run.
Of course, I just stood, a poster child for all things dazed and confused. Then…calm hit me like a river, running

through my body, extinguishing the anxiety that had taken over.

My heartbeat quieted, my breathing slowed, my muscles loosened.

I exhaled, basking in the instant relief.

“Thank you,” I said hesitantly. This wasn’t going to be the

smoothest conversation of my life.

“You have come to embrace?”

I swallowed. “Yes.”

“You hold unique power within you. You are not like the others.” His eyes twinkled with curiosity. I didn’t respond.

“You are not grateful for your gift?”

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The way he said it annoyed me. He may have calmed me, but it

clearly wasn’t an endless supply. “I had plans for my life and they didn’t involve dealing with AWOL angels.” I threw my hands in the air. “But here I am.”

He stepped forward, still allowing for a polite distance. The

sun was beating down unforgivingly and my skin blazed as he

inspected me.

“Perhaps that is why he chose you. My name is Uri. I am an

Angel Elect. I believe you refer to me as an angel of light.” He extended his hand in offer. I hesitated.

“It is quite safe,” he reassured me.

I took his hand. Unlike my dirty calloused one, it was soft and tender. I could feel the senses buzzing around me, but it was as if they were muted.

He released my hand and stepped back, flawlessly assuming his

previous stance. Sand glided over his feet like ripples of water. “So, you have found a reason suitable for your choice.”

“Did I ever really have a choice?” I asked, thinking about how

everything had kept circling back to this question, perhaps to

this moment.

“Of course. You chose how, why, when…even
where
to an extent.”

“What about
if
? Did I get a say in
if
?” He bowed his head, as if slightly impressed with my question.

“There is an element of your existence that was predetermined,” he confessed. “It is not that you did not get a say, rather that the foundations of your very being denied you the ability to reject 258

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your destiny at any cost. It was simply a matter of the right question being laid before you so that you could, in turn, make the right choice.”

“And if I hadn’t? If I’d let Lincoln die?”

“I cannot tell you what is not possible.” He tilted his head

toward the sun, looking right into its glare, and his eyes stayed wide and unaffected.

“I don’t understand.”

“It is beyond your comprehension. You should not try.”

“Well, I want to know!”

He turned back to me, showing mild interest at my snappy tone.

It lasted about three seconds.

“Your destiny was laid before you at the time of your birth. For that destiny to have changed, it would require a significant event that was not of your path and not of your own doing. You have

only ever experienced one such event, and though it has caused