Embracing Love (2 page)

Will didn
’t beg half as much. Maybe that’s why he cheated on me. Oh damn, Ashton is going to fucking cheat on me. That dirty bastard. I will break his neck if he does.

I normally wasn
’t a drinker, but I needed another strong drink right now. The one I had with Ads hadn’t kicked in yet. I just don’t understand why it is so hard for him to understand that I am not ready.

I went to find Addie but didn
’t see her or Eric anywhere. I got my drink and sat in the corner. It was a little strong; it tasted like fruit punch with a gallon of vodka. It was exactly what I needed right now. I just wanted to get the picture of Liam walking in on Ashton and me out of my damn head.

I see Savvy, the school slut, push a guy into the bathroom. Damn, she already has someone in there giving him a blow job. I have heard she is known for her blow jobs and that all of the football players have slept with her.

Liam noticed me and brought me a drink. I am glad he did as I needed another one. Damn, this one wasn’t as strong as the first one, maybe I will get a third one. “Lila, are you avoiding me?”

“
Liam, why would I avoid you?” “You just seemed to disappear after I told you how beautiful you were, then after walking in on you and Ashton um…doing what you were doing.”

“
No, nothing to do with you. Ashton and I weren’t doing anything, we had an argument.”

“
Oh is that what that was? Looked like you had your panties down to me.”

Oh fuck, he did see. I just wanted to run screaming now, and hide under the biggest rock I could find.

“Well, we argued after that. We weren’t having sex, if that is what you think. Ashton wanted to but I said no. We have never had sex. I’m a virgin.” Did I just say that? Great, what the fuck am I thinking? Oh god am I drunk already? I hope he didn’t think that was an invitation for him to fuck me. Damn, he’s laughing at me. “What’s so funny, Liam?”

“
Oh Lila, nothing, just the look on that beautiful face of yours.”

“
Beautiful, not having sex with Ashton is a good thing.” I just laughed. I am such a damn blonde for sure—why the hell would I tell him about my sex life? Wait, I don’t have a sex life. I am not drinking this shit anymore. I need Addison, where the fuck was she?

“
Lila, would you like to dance?”

“
Uh okay, I guess so.”

I hope Ashton didn
’t see us. I know he would be furious. He, for some reason, couldn’t stand when Liam talked to me. He was a good dancer, and smelled so good, different than Ashton. His hands were so soft, and he wasn’t trying to feel my ass. I leaned my head into his chest inhaling, knowing I could get lost in that scent. Oh fuck, he just laid his head on mine. Even his breath smelled wonderful.

“
So how did a beautiful woman like you, end up with that jerk cousin of mine?”

“
Ashton is a good guy, Liam, unlike some of the things I have heard about you.” Fuck me and my damn mouth.

“
Things about me…like what? Let me guess, Ashton has told you these things, correct?”

“
Yes, it’s nothing really, Liam.”

“
Hmm, nothing as in what? Come on, Lila, what has that ass been telling you about me?”

“
Well, he said that you basically use girls for sex.”

“
I use girls for sex?”

“
Yes, please don’t say anything to him, Liam!” He looked hurt by what I said.

“
Okay beautiful, only because you asked me not to. Have fun.” He then ran his finger across my cheek and disappeared. I looked for Addie again and couldn’t find her. I am going to kick her ass; she normally didn’t leave me alone like this. I decided to text her.

Me: WTF… where are you? I need you ;(

Ads: you ok? I left already, I thought you were with Ashton? OMG did he hurt you? I will kick his fuckin ass, Lila.

Me: No I am ok…I am leaving now!!

I started to leave and ran into Liam—again.

“
Hey beautiful, we have to quit meeting like this.”

I giggled then I almost fell backward.

“You okay there, L.”

“
I am fine, Liam, just a little tipsy I guess. I am going home; can you tell Ashton, please?

“
I will take you, Lila.”

“
No, I enjoy walking at night. I love watching the moonlight and stars.”

“
I know they are beautiful at night, but I am not letting you leave like this. I was leaving anyway.” Leave like what, damn, I guess I was kind of drunk, my head was spinning. “Where is your girlfriend?”

“
Lila, I don’t have a girlfriend, that girl was just a friend.” Ha! Friend yeah right, one of those fuck buddies of his. He smiled at me as he grabbed my hand and led me out the door. That smile probably got him all kinds of girls. He opened the door for me and fastened my seatbelt. God, he had a scent I had never smelled before—it was like heaven.

My stomach was hurting and I felt really nauseated.
“Umm Liam, I need to get out.” He had already started driving.

“
Okay Lila, are you okay? I can pull over.”

“
Please pull over!”

I jumped out of the car and ran to the back of it and yep, there it went…I got sick everywhere. I forgot I hadn
’t eaten anything since that morning and I drank all that alcohol.

“
Oh L baby, are you all right?” Liam came and pulled my hair back with his hand. “I…um, Liam, I am so sorry.”

“
Oh Lila, don’t apologize to me.” He smiled at me as I tried to wipe my face.

“
Can you grab my purse, please?” I knew I had tissues and hand sanitizer in there.

“
Thanks, Liam.” I tried to get everything out and clean my hands and face up. But it was Liam that wiped my face and hands. I just stared into those beautiful eyes of his. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“
Now let’s get you home, beautiful.

I let Liam drive me home. He walked me to the door and hugged me and gave me a light kiss on the top of my head. He was all I thought about the rest of the night.

Addie called me the next day. “Lila, are you mad at me? And what happened?”

“
No Ads, Ashton and I had a fight.”

“
Let me guess over sex, right?”

“
Addison Ellis, you know your brother so well.”

“
Lila, I told you he was a male whore, and not to sleep with him anyway, if you want to wait then don’t let that douche bag talk you into fucking him.”

“
You talk so nicely about you brother, Addison,” I laughed.

“
I just know that he has been around the block a few times, and I don’t want my best friend to be another number on his list. Now you do know that Liam is a good guy, and he really likes you!”

“
I am not going there, Ads, you know he is not my type.”

“
Lila, you just don’t know; he is a sweet guy. Ashton is just jealous of him so don’t listen to anything he says about Liam.”

“
Eric is calling me, Lila so I will see you tonight. I love you.”

“
Addie…hello?” She had already hung up. I wondered why she and Eric were keeping things from me? I am going to beat the crap out of them.

I decided to go to a party with Addie. I didn
’t know Ashton was going as well. I saw him getting drinks and thought I would go make things right with him. “Ads, I am going to go talk to your brother.”

“
Remember our talk, Lila.”

“
Ashton, can we talk about last night?”

“
What’s up, Lila, you ready to tease me some more?”

“
Ashton, that’s not fair and you know it.”

“
Oh what’s fair having the same girlfriend for months and she won’t do anything but kiss? Lila, you are not a child, you are a woman, don’t you have needs too?”

“
I will just talk to you later, Ashton!”

“
Lila, wait babe, I am sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“
No Ashton, you shouldn’t say a lot of the shit you say! But I am leaving, so you don’t have to worry about me teasing you tonight.”

“
Come on, Li.”

“
NO, Ashton, I am leaving!”

I was so tired and ready to leave anyway, I didn
’t want to drink after what happened last night. I couldn’t find Addie. Someone had said she and Eric were upstairs. I wasn’t checking. I really think something was going on with the two of them and I wasn’t walking in on it.

I just left without telling anyone. As I walked down the dark street looking at the sky, I heard someone calling my name.

“Wait, Lila!” Liam said, I will walk with you.” What the hell? How does he always come out of nowhere, is he a damn vampire?

“
Okay thanks Liam, but I am a big girl, I can walk alone.”

“
I know you are and can, but I don’t want you too! Lila, why are you with Ashton? He doesn’t deserve you, beautiful.”

“
Stop it, Liam. Why do you always say that?”

“
Because I know,” he says. “You know what?”

“
I know you deserve someone better than him. He doesn’t respect you at all. I see how he treats you, Lila.” I changed the subject and noticed that we had more in common than I thought. He wasn’t at all the man Ashton said he was. Maybe Ads was right, he is a good guy. I just didn’t understand why Ashton always talked bad about him. He never had anything nice to say about Liam to me. Was it because of me? Did he not want Liam talking to me?

“
We are here,” I said turning to look at Liam. He had this look in his eyes and I knew he wanted to kiss me. He grabbed my hand and stared into my eyes. “Lila, please remember what I told you. You are better than him.” He leaned in for a hug. Oh my god, those arms felt great. I could get used to his hugs. I kissed his cheek and went inside. Did I really just kiss his cheek? Damn, he is going to tell Ashton. What was all this shit about Ashton, did Liam know something I didn’t? I don’t have time for their damn games.

I lay in my bed, trying to go to sleep and all I could think about was Liam
’s hug. He was so strong and gentle and so damn sexy. He had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. He was really built, and tall.

I remember a couple weeks ago, we were all at the beach and I noticed how great his arms looked. He does have tattoos, not as many as Ashton though. But he had just enough to look perfect.

I have to admit, he is more attractive than Ashton. I am not sure, if it is his personality, or those damn eyes he has but something made me feel all warm inside. What am I saying, he is my boyfriend’s cousin!! I fell asleep dreaming of Liam again.   …SIGH…

I woke up with a good morning text from Liam.

Liam:

Good Morning Beautiful, How are you? I was glad you didn’t drink last night;)What do you say about going to a movie with me? I know Ashton won’t mind!!

Why wouldn’t Ashton mind, I thought. That was odd. He knows something about my boyfriend that I don’t. I am not as dumb as they think I am.

Thanks Liam but I have a lot of things to do today! Maybe next time ; )

Liam had texted me all week long, and even sat with Ashton and I at lunch. Ashton was still being weird and acted very distance. When I would ask what was wrong he would just say he was thinking about college.

I wondered if I should just break up with him now or wait till I left for New
  York. I was not ready to have sex with him and I knew that is all he wanted. It had taken me months to realize that, but now I could see exactly how he was. My feelings for him were starting to change.

Addison
’s parents were going out of town so she wanted to have a huge party. Since everyone was eighteen or older, her parents were okay with us being there. Eric and I normally just stayed over after the parties.

“
Lila, don’t you give into Ashton tonight, you hear me?”

“
Ads, I am not having sex with him.”

Addison wasn
’t a virgin, she had sex with some guy when she was sixteen, just to see what it was like. She never saw him again and she seemed to be okay with it and her choice. I just wanted my first time to be with someone I trusted and loved.

I didn’t see Ashton anywhere, he had hugged me and kissed me when I walked in earlier, but I hadn’t seen him since.

“
Hey there, beautiful, you want a drink?”

“
Thanks Liam, I will make sure I know my limits tonight.” He laughed. God, please don’t let me say anything stupid tonight.

“
Let’s dance, Lila.” Liam grabbed my hand and pulled me to the center of the floor. Every time he asked me to dance I got a weird feeling in my stomach. “I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz” came on. I wrapped my arms around him. God, his scent gave me goose bumps.

“
Are you having fun, Lila?”

“
Of course, this is a great party and I love this song.” He smiled. “I like it too and it is perfect.” The song stopped and he was still holding on to me.

“
Lila, I could just dance with you all night.” I smiled as I looked into his eyes; I saw something I had never seen before. I had to step back a little. “Lila, you okay?”

“
Oh I am fine, just drank a little too much, I guess. My head is spinning.”

“
Come with me, I will get you some water.”

He sat me on the counter and handed me a bottle of water.
“Take a few sips and you will feel better. Is your stomach, okay?”

“
Yes I am just not used to drinking a lot, I guess.” I drank the entire bottle straight down.

“
Feel better now?”

“
A little, thanks Liam you are so nice. I think I should go find Ads. I will be okay.”

“
Lila, Ads and Eric are well um…” I just laughed.

“
Well thanks, Liam, have you seen that boyfriend of mine?”

“
Nope, I haven’t seen him since he kissed you earlier.” What the hell was he stalking me? How did he know we were kissing?

“
Okay thanks again, Liam. I will be fine. I am going to look for Ashton now.” I wanted to talk to Ashton and make things right, and if doing things other than kissing was going to make him happy, then I would try to do whatever I could. A part of me also just wanted to end our relationship altogether but I really liked him. I was so confused. When I find him, I will just tell him all my feelings, maybe he will understand.

I went out to the guesthouse, to see if I could find Ashton. I thought everyone had left but as I looked through the window, I saw Savvy, the school slut. Oh hell no, she is fucking some guy. I could hear them moaning.
“A-A-Ash oh Ashton, right there baby. That’s the spot. Fuck me there. Oh Ashie, I love when you fuck me hard like that.”

Did she just call my boyfriend
’s name? And call him Ashie? I couldn’t really see if it was him but as I looked closer, it was Ashton!

“
What the fuck!” I yelled.

“
Holy Hell, Lila, wait it’s not what you think, baby. Wait, come on, baby.” Ashton yelled as he tried to pull up his pants, tripping over them. He still had the damn condom on!

“
Not what I think?” “Are you fucking kidding me, Ashton Ellis? Then what the hell is that on your dick? At least you wore one I guess.”

He looked down and finally got his pants pulled up. By the looks of things, he had a small ass package
—glad I didn’t give in.

“
If you would have given him what he needed, then he wouldn’t have to go elsewhere,” Savvy said.

“
Oh trust me, you skanky whore, that’s all he wants you for! How long have you been fucking my boyfriend?” I wanted to punch that nasty bitch in her throat—it wasn’t worth it though.

“
Lila, let’s talk about this!”

“
Fuck you, Ashton, you are such a ugh… I can’t think of anything that you are other than a douche bag mother fucker. I have nothing to say to you, except you can go straight to hell! Why didn’t you just break up with me? Why cheat? Oh wait, it’s because you still wanted to screw me too. Well you fucked that up, didn’t you?”

“
I am done with you. I was planning to break up with you and you just gave me the perfect reason to! Now go back to your, how do you say it?
FUCK BUDDY
, isn’t that what you say Liam does? So were you just referring to yourself? Not Liam.”

I think the entire block heard us yelling and cursing at each other.
Addison, Liam, and Eric came running out when they heard us yelling.

“
What is going on Lila?” Liam ran to one side of me and Addie to the other.

“
Oh Addison, you were right about your douche bag brother! I just caught this skank fucking him in your guesthouse.”

“
Lila, if you wouldn’t have been such a tease this wouldn’t have happened.”

“
Me being a tease made you do this, Ashton? You have just broken any trust that I had in you. You are a selfish cumquat!” Did I just call him a cumquat? I have to get the hell out of here. I can’t even think of any words to use. By now, I was crying so damn hard I couldn’t see shit. I kept blinking trying to regain my vision.

I hated to let him see how upset I really was. I was ready to just run so far away from all of them.

“Wait, Lila let’s just talk. Savvy doesn’t mean anything to me! Please listen.”

“
No you stay the fuck away from me, Ashton.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him.

“
Lila, it was nothing, let’s just work through this. I promise it won’t happen again.” He tried hugging me.

“
Ashton, I am done, now please leave me alone.”