Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy) (26 page)

I shook my head, trying
 to shake my feelings off, and the water from my hair. My blouse was transparent from the wet, and I could see his eyes had dropped and were now feasting on my white lacy bra and cleavage. I tried to think of how I could get away, but he dipped his head forward, his face an inch from mine.

I could feel his breath
 cool when it landed on my lips. “Do you remember my kiss, that feeling when my tongue penetrates your lips into your hot mouth? Remember the feelings when I sucked on your tongue, Lily?”

My eyes dropped to his mouth, briefly flicked to his eyes, before they once again focused on his mouth. I did remember
, and it was arousing me just hearing him talking to me about it. “You’re so fucking beautiful, I can’t stand it,” he whispered.

There
 was friction again, as he grazed his denim clad erection over my mound again. I almost groaned, but managed to catch it and turn it into a small cough. I was so turned on standing like that with him.

Alfie
 was such an expert in seduction and so damned alluring. It was taking everything I had to control the urge to give in to him. I had very little immunity to him. I began to think of how great his mouth had been on me, and I ached to have him give me those feelings.

He ran his tongue over his bottom lip quickly to wet it, and I shivered.
He noticed and grinned, his eyes widening in recognition. “Look at you. You’re so fucking turned on right now. Do you want me to kiss you?” He smirked.

“Do you want my mouth on yours exploring you? Allow yourself
that one word, Lily, and I can make you feel so good.” At that moment I wanted that more than anything. Everything he said sounded so sexy and tempting. I struggled to resist him, it would have been so easy to just move that fraction of an inch and make contact with him.

He ran his tongue over his bottom lip quickly to wet it again, and I trembled in anticipation of what he would do next. He noticed and crouched slightly pressing his hips further into me, as he tried to make contact with mine.

When he did this, he chuckled softly, his eyes widening in response to the lack of control I was having on my body’s reaction to him. “Do you want me to kiss you? Do you want my mouth on yours exploring you?” he whispered again.

I was already resigning myself that he was probably going to kiss me, and was deciding whether or not I would kiss him back. It was like it was already a foregone conclusion.

I held my breath, waiting to see what his next move was going to be. I was scared to move, in case he thought I was making my mind up that he should just do it. He was still pinning me by my hips. I swallowed hard, my mouth felt parched. I licked my lips because they were so dry.

He bit his bottom lip again in response. His arms were slightly trembling, and I was distracted by this and almost leaned into him, but I eventually managed to squeak out, “No.” 
Shit,
 I was disappointed with how weak and pathetic my voice sounded.
I couldn’t even convince myself, so how the hell was I going to convince him?

He raised an eyebrow at me, and moved his
mouth until it almost touched mine, his forehead slightly brushing mine. He licked his lips slowly.
Kiss me,
I thought.

I couldn’t move. His breathing was uneven and hot on my face. I closed my eyes and… he pushed himself off of the door and moved away. He turned and traced a finger down my cheek as he swept himself around the other side of the door, disappear
ing out of sight.

I stood breathless
, exhaling through my nose, my legs shaking. My senses were battered from his touch, his smell, his smile, and all the familiar sensations he stirred in me.

Alfie had made me
 ache for him again. I was so turned on and full of want for him, engulfing anger, frustration, sadness and loss.

What the hell did he want from me? Was he punishing me because I didn’t want to continue with our arrangement?
  I wished at that moment that I wasn’t so attracted to him. But it was more than that, I felt a need for him that I hadn’t felt for anyone before in my life.

Somewhere along the line, I’d developed strong feelings for Alfie, which made him a dangerous sexual magnet for me.
 In my stunned silence, I became aware my cell had beeped. I had a text message.

Will: where did you go honey?

Lily: I’m in the building next to the car lot.

Will: stay there I’ll be right over.

Will ran toward me, his feet splashing on the saturated lawn and his hair still damp, looking in a better mood than when I first saw him this morning.

He smiled and said breathlessly, “Mandy has invited us over this evening, you up for that?
” I nodded, and wiped some water from his neck absentmindedly.

“Yeah, it’ll be nice just to hang out.”

Will looked a little embarrassed. “I don’t want Saffy to come, Lily.”

I looked worriedly at him
. “Will?” He shrugged, and sighed heavily. He looked sad. “I just want a little space Lily. It doesn’t make me a bad person, does it? I just want to talk with people without accusations from her. I’m not looking to do anything wrong.” I understood his frustration.

We
 had found ourselves sneaking conversations with each other, on one occasion reverting to text messages to arrange a gig, because she was being obtuse with her jealousy.

I
 squeezed his hand in support. “You need to work it out though, Will. I don’t want to be stuck in the middle of this. You’re both my friends.”

He smiled and kissed my forehead
. “I knew you’d get me, Lily.”

We were very productive today at college and
 went to Mandy’s directly from campus. She had a very cute ground floor condo with a small private garden.

A garden was the one thing I missed about living in an apartment block. Mandy’s parents had sold their family home,
and bought this for Mandy, while her mother and father were working overseas.

She was a great little
 hostess and had made hotdogs, buns, burgers, and salad. Will devoured as much as he could fit in his stomach. No doubt about it, the man enjoyed his food. I was in awe at where he put it all because there was not an ounce of fat on him.

Neil arrived
, with a few other faces I vaguely knew, and we all sat on some stacking plastic patio chairs. The atmosphere was so relaxed, and conversations between us flowed easily. With all of us studying music, we had so much in common.

I felt happier than I had in weeks. When the doorbell chimed I wondered who else could be coming, because most of our
group was already here.

I swear I felt
 his presence before I saw him, but I was still shocked when I looked up and he was leaning against the patio door frame.

The effect he had on me, just seeing him
, was incredible. He stood there all casual with a beer in his hand, his eyes boring holes through me.

I flushed pink, but tried to continue the conversation I was involved in, conscious of him watching me. Will was sitting close to me, and as if on cue turned and gave me a slow smile. I returned this automatically.

He began teasing me about something that had happened during one of our sessions and grabbed me playfully by the neck, pulling my head down and into his chest.

Everyone laughed, and Will squeezed me in a hug, saying, “Only kidding, you know I love you, honey.” Alfie’s face darkened, his brows furrowing. He looked really unimpressed with both of us.

His beautiful plump lips were drawn into a thin line as he stared at me. I shrugged this off as him thinking that Will was my new ‘buddy’ in his sense of the word, and I largely tried to ignore him.

Mandy
 came through and turned her attention to Alfie, asking him something about the gig he had just performed at. He was forced to shift his focus, leaving me free to move around without him being able to follow me.

She then
 went around picking up paper plates and placing them in a garbage bag, still talking to him. She asked about the band he was supporting in a few days. I didn’t wait for his answer, pushing myself out of the chair, and using her distraction to make my way to the kitchen.

Will
 was right behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. I tensed, but when I turned and realized it was him I smiled. “Sorry honey, I couldn’t resist telling them about that, it was too cute when you did it at the time.” He grinned, referring to the story he told.

His hand lingered on my shoulder
, and he began rubbing circles absentmindedly while he was talking to me. I smiled widely at him and started giggling, because in hindsight it was funny.

It was nice
 that he made sure I was okay with him sharing the story. “It's fine, it didn’t bother me at all.” He cuddled me close in a bear hug, rocking me from side to side.

“You know it’s been lovely just to spend time with all of you without
 Saffy getting the wrong idea.”

I had to agree, it was, but it was sad about
 Saffy. I pushed myself from Will’s chest, and he was smiling at me when Alfie appeared in the kitchen, waving his empty beer bottle between two fingers, walking in our direction.

“You’re very tactile for
 friends.” He used quotation marks with his fingers on the word friends to accentuate his point. “Where do I find another one of these?” He waved his empty beer bottle at us.

Will moved away from me, looking a little stressed by his comment, and ran his fingers through his hair. “There’s plenty in the box over there.”

Will motioned with his head and signaled by pointing at the patio door that he was going back to the garden. He walked away, leaving me alone in the kitchen with Alfie.

I was about to move past him to follow Will when he slammed the palm of his hand down on the counter. It made me jump and effectively blocked me from leaving. My heartbeat picked up pace
, and my breathing was fast and shallow. I tried to control the feelings of both excitement and dread at being so near to him again.

“Excuse me, I want to
pass please?” Alfie bent to make eye contact with me, and I inhaled his scent. I missed it.

“Is that what you
 
really
 want?” He gave me a seductive half smile. “You wouldn’t rather come back to my place and let me make you feel good, Lily?” My jaw dropped, just being near him did crazy things to my heart, and he stole my breath away every goddamn time he was in the room.

Pressing my hand to his hard chest I pushed him back. In my
heart, I wanted to grab his t-shirt and pull him closer, not push him away.

“Stop it.
 I’ve had enough of your games. I don’t want you Alfie,” I hissed, my eyes darting to the patio doors to make sure we weren’t being watched.

He grabbed one of my hands and placed it over his heart, as he reached out, invading my body again
, and placed his other palm over mine. It wasn’t a sexual touch. I couldn’t lie to him. My heart was pounding in my chest, as was his.

“Forgive
me, but I’m hardly convinced by that. We drive each other crazy with want.” He smirked, nodding his head toward his palm. He dipped his mouth to my ear and whispered to me. “I don’t think you’ve had nearly enough of me, sweetheart, and I know I’ll never get enough of you.” His soft breath brushed over my ear and my neck.

He smiled
 at me, his eyes holding that sensual gaze that usually melted me. He ran his small finger ever so lightly along my thumb, as he continued to hold my hand in his.

I flinched and tried to move
 it away, and he let his hands drop by his sides. He was right, of course. He knew exactly what he did to me. I turned to walk away, fighting back tears.

Grabbing my arm and
 swinging me around, he pushed me back into a corner of the kitchen with his body, out of sight of the window. He placed his palms on either side of me on the wall, again blocking my escape.

Alfie
 moved closer, slightly parting my knees, and leaned against me, hip to hip, his face bending toward my neck but not touching it. His breathing was ragged, and I could feel his arousal as he rubbed himself against my pubic bone.

He inhaled my hair, then my neck
. “I want you so fucking much.” Swallowing hard as he stared into my eyes. His words and the sensation of his touch became too much for me. I was being overpowered, and I could feel myself letting go. Melting into his body, my eyes closed in surrender to him.

His tongue traced up my neck, stopping near my ear, then again. “Say it, tell me to take you.” He rested his forehead on mine.
 I had stopped breathing, frozen.

Alfie
 pulled his head back and opened his eyes. We were looking intensely at each other. I could see the lust there in the hooded glint in his eyes, his breathing ragged. He bent forward, groaning into my neck again, moving his tongue up to trace my jawline as I fought to control the release of the breath I had been holding.

Removing a hand from the wall, he
 traced this down the front of my body. I inhaled sharply, my body reacting to the heat of his touch. I bit my lip and he licked his. “Oh yeah, sweetheart, you most definitely want me,” he murmured softly.

My
defenses were gone, his for the taking. All he had to do was kiss me. His fingers traced my lips with a featherlight touch. He leaned closer, and I closed my eyes expecting his kiss.

I waited…and nothing happened. I opened my eyes
 and saw Will. I was confused, Alfie was just here, and now he was nowhere in sight. Will was standing looking concerned at me.

“Are you okay? You didn’t come back.” He put out his hand to
lead me back and I let him, trembling. “Are you cold?” he asked.

“No, just tired.” I managed a weak smile. I
didn’t know how I faced being around everyone after that. We stayed another half hour, then I told everyone I was exhausted and needed to go home.

Will follow
ed me out to my car. I didn’t see Alfie again while we were there. We’d arrived in separate cars, and he walked me to mine when we left. We arranged to meet as usual in the morning, then he hugged me tightly rubbing my back.

“I’ve had a lot of fun this evening, thanks for understanding Lily.” I smiled tiredly at him.

“No worries.” My response was muted, but it was the best I could manage. He kissed my nose and sat me in my car.

“Remember, you haven’t seen me this evening.” He winked.

I felt bad because I knew that as soon as I saw Saffy, she was going to ask me about Will. It was a horrible situation and I was going to have to lie.
Why was everything so complicated here?

I stuck my car in gear and drove off feeling drained about Alfie.
 As I rounded the corner, he was leaning against his car, flagging me down. I was torn between running him over and stopping.

I stopped, sliding my window down partway. My heart was pounding at him being there again. “Truce?” he asked, tapping his
fingernails on the side of my car, smiling sheepishly.

“What is this, Alfie? This has got to stop. I can’t deal with this shit, you’re scaring me.” I swallowed hard. It was true his
behavior was freaking me out now.