Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy) (22 page)

“See!”
 Saffy spat at him, “You just contradicted yourself!”

Max looked confused
. “I did?”

S
he nodded, pointing at me. “Yup, one minute you were off getting laid, and the next, Lily was keeping you company.”

Max’s eyes were pleading with
 me, and I wanted to support him, so I gave him a slow nod and blushed. I scrunched my eyes up and pulled my shoulders to my ears as I waited for the onslaught when Saffy found out.

He
chuckled at me. Will rubbed the back of his neck and looked almost as awkward as I felt, as Max turned to Saffy. “Listen to me Saffy, I’m only going to say this once, so you need to listen carefully. I 
did
 get laid last night, 
fact
.”

He struggled to keep himself from laughing
. “Lily 
did
 keep me company. The two events don’t have to be mutually exclusive you know.” My heart stuttered as I waited for the onslaught of Saffy’s response when it sunk in.

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest
.
 Saffy’s head snapped round and she stared at me silently for what seemed like a 
really
 long time. Her facial expressions changing from disbelief, shock, horror, disgust, then settled on anger.

Will shuffled his feet, his eyes flicking between us
, and he looked like he wished he was anywhere else, except here. He seemed thoroughly embarrassed, his eyes darting between Saffy and me several times. I could see him cringe like he was hearing something he’d never recover from.

He was also staring
 at me as if he couldn’t believe I’d have intercourse with 
anyone
. Of everything that was going on, his face was the one thing I found the most amusing during this whole obtuse situation.

Saffy
 stood digesting Max’s disclosure. I was blushing, mortified that anyone was discussing me having sex. Her head swung round to Max. “Max Barclay. You fucking man whore. You fucked my friend, you piece of shit? You fucked my best fucking friend?” Her head snapped back in my direction.

“Lily?
 
Lily
! You let my brother fuck you?” She pulled her hands up and gripped her hair.

I knew
 she’d be disappointed with me, but I never dreamed she’d react this badly. I thought she was going to hit me she was so crazy.

 
I cleared my throat, but thought better of speaking, so I stood with my arm across my body holding my other forearm.

Will, who seemed to have recovered from the shock that I’d actually let a man do things to me, looked bemused and kind of smirked at me.

At one point I thought he was going to laugh, but he started stroking down both cheeks to his chin with his thumb and forefinger to hide this. Will’s eyes were darting between all of us now, taking in everyone’s reaction. I was betting that he would think of this as payback for what I did to him yesterday on the way home in the car.

Max pleaded, “Come on
 Saffy, Lily and I are consenting adults. I mean it’s not as if I tied her down or anything, although…”He smirked, then continued, “anyway, I don’t think I took advantage of her, do you think I did, Lily?”

I found my voice and said, “Not at all
. I am more than happy with what happened.”

Will’s
, “I bet,” fell out before he was conscious of it; his thinking voice falling out of his mouth.

Saffy
 turned and batted him on the chest, then snapped at him. “Shut the fuck up, Will.” Will shuffled his feet, biting his lip, and it was my turn to smirk.

Will cleared his throat, and seemed
to want us to see him sticking up for himself after she chastised him. “I think you just need to calm down Saffy, it’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything.”

She snapped her head back in his direction now, giving him a scowling look, but
Willbecame braver. “The thing is, honey, I think you’ve got no right to get on your high horse, we were at it all night. What’s good for the goose …” Max growled at Will, who had just admitted having sex with his sister.

I giggled at Will’s attempt to make it better, but instead, made it worse by putting himself further
in the firing line. It was becoming so ridiculous. What we had all had done was a natural adult activity by consenting adults. The way Saffy was behaving was like someone had committed a major crime.

I held my hands up.
 I couldn’t keep my face straight it was so absurd. “Will you all stop this?” I giggled, and tried to compose myself. I turned this back on Saffy. “If you hadn’t gone with Will, would Max and I have happened last night? Highly unlikely, I think.”

I rolled my eyes
 and glanced at Max’s smirking face. “Do I think we would have had sex some other time? I think so if the circumstances arose. Max and I have always had a kind of ‘thing’ about each other. We’re just old enough to see where it takes us now. We enjoyed spending time with each other and know that if it doesn’t go anywhere, we’ll still love each other because of our history.”

Max rubbed
 Saffy’s back and pulled her in for a bear hug, kissing her forehead. “You’ll get used to it Saffy. We won’t be in your face with this, but we don’t want to stop.” Saffy struggled to hold her gaze to me.

“Please
 Saffy, be okay about it.” She sighed.

“I don’t ever want to lose you because of a bad relationship with my brother, and I don’t want you not to have a relationship with Max if it makes you both happy either.” She sniffed.

“Saffy, we are very cool with what happened, we’re just going to see where it takes us. Nothing’s changed.” I hugged her affectionately.

Max said, “True Lily, nothing has changed, except we had some incredible orgasms
.”

I threw Max a you’re-dead-when-I-get you-on-your-own glare
, and Saffy slapped Max hard on the arm. “That’s way too much information Max! TMI.”

Will
 raised an eyebrow at me, and I couldn’t help but think that someday this conversation would be used to get his own back for the prank I pulled on him about his sex life. He winked and grinned at me.

“What’s the female version of a stud?” he asked, teasing me before chuckling again.
 I had been doing really well, but now that the focus was more about the sex, I blushed again.

Max and I
 continued to have a great time together in the following few days. When Sunday arrived, it came too quickly for the both of us. We lay tangled in each other, him holding me tightly, stroking my arm, after a tender lovemaking session.

We
 had stayed awake all night talking, not wanting to waste time sleeping when we could share it with each other, enjoying the darkness, and watching the daylight creep in.

I drove him to the airport, and we stood holding each other and staring ahead at the security desk that would take him airside. My stomach sank when his flight was called.

We had a torturous parting, with Max coming back to kiss me deeply twice, pained about leaving me
, while I was trying to be strong and not cry.

I stood biting my lip, until Max told me to stop or he’d drag me to
a bathroom for another farewell session. I looked up at him, with tears welling in my eyes, and went up on tiptoe to peck his cheek.

He kissed my nose one last time
, and I watched him looking back at me. He looked as torn as I felt. He cleared security and disappeared out of sight. I sighed and a single tear ran down my face. My heart squeezed when I could no longer see him.

Driving back, the radio was full of music that did nothing to lighten my mood. It was dark by the time I arrived ho
me, and the apartment was empty.

I was thankful for that at least, I didn’t feel like talking and went
for a hot bath, filling the tub with bubbles. The smell of the bath oil was intoxicating but it didn’t make me feel any better.

Saffy
 was staying with Will again, and Holly was working. I hadn’t seen her in days. I crawled into bed and tried to do some homework for college, but my mind was still with Max. My cell buzzed in my purse, and I leaned out of bed to reach for it, almost toppling out of it.

Max: Lying here, remembering your sweet face.

Lily  me too, not that your face is sweet…it’s handsome.

Max: You like what you see, huh?

Lily : Nah, honestly…you’re a troll.

Max: LMAO My time with you was wonderful, Lily, thank you.

Lily : I had a great time…it sucks we didn’t have more of it.

Max:  True, but I will try to repeat, I don’t want you to sit waiting for me though.

Lily : You mean I should see other people? Not sure we’re on the same page with that.

Max: If we don’t put boundaries in place, then we’re less likely to get hurt if one of us isn’t strong.

Lily : Hmm… I guess…Night Max x

Max: Sweet dreams honey, mwahx

Max’s text made me feel uneasy. It was almost like been there done that, but you don’t have enough to hold my attention. It was a complete contrast to what he was saying when he was here.

He told me he really wanted to try to have something between us, that it was only the distance that made him hesita
nt. His texts didn’t read that way at all. I made a note that the next time we spoke, I would need to clear this up with him.

I was exhausted
 by the time I finished texting. I hadn’t had much sleep this weekend. I clutched my cell phone in my hand and placed it under my pillow and snuggled down to sleep. I woke with it buzzing against my cheek. It was 7am.

Will: meet me at 8:15  I’ve snagged a recording booth for two hours.

Lily: sleepy, can we do 8:30am?

Will: Nope, see you at 8:15am. Aren’t you energized from your ‘fitness regimen’ this weekend?

I rolled my eyes and stretched out, groaning. It was easy to see that Will was going to milk my situation for his own amusement. He was going to give me as much shit as possible over his observations of what went down with Saffy, Max, and I.

I stepped into the shower,
and the temperature was only tepid, so I didn’t linger. Once I’d had a quick scrub in all the important places, I threw on some cropped jeans and a crisp white Ralph Lauren crew neck t-shirt.

I grabbed a
 small red wooden beaded necklace, and pulled it over my head to hang down in front, breaking the plain effect, and began to gather my stuff to leave for campus. Holly was arriving home from her night shift and looked gray with tiredness.
 
I felt bad for her.

I hugged her, picked up my guitar and rucksack, and shoved some toast in my mouth as I ran out of the door. Will squ
eezed me tight when I arrived at the car lot at college.

We settled in the
 recording booth and got straight to work on an arrangement he had put together the night before. He asked about yesterday with Max, and I mentioned his strange comment in the text he sent me.

Will sighed.
 “Sorry, honey.” He looked awkward.

“For what?” I
asked confused.

Will exhaled. “Max.” I sighed sadly thinking he meant about Max having to go.

“Well, we like each other Will, but the distance and where we are in our lives right now…” I hesitated, “we’ll see how it goes.”

By the look on Will’s face I
realized that wasn’t what he meant. Will was moving the gravel around under his foot. His eyes flicked to mine, and he exhaled heavily again before he spoke.

“So you’re still going to do the long distance relationship thing with him? Try to keep your relationship going?” I nodded
 and gave him a weak smile, because after Max’s text I wasn’t confident it would work.

“
Well, yeah, that’s the idea… that’s what he said. He’s going to try to be here once a month.” Will’s brows bunched together, and he shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“What’s the matter with you, Will?” He pursed his lips into his mouth and shook his head
but didn’t give me eye contact.

He rubbed his eyes with one hand.
 “Nothing.” The defeated way he said it told me it definitely wasn’t.

I searched his face
. 
“
Will, I think I know you better than this by now, come on out with it.”

Will exhaled loudly
. “Aw, well, shit! Lily.”

I waited, but when he didn’t say anything I asked quietly, “Did you and
 Saffy break up?”

Will took my hand in his
. “No!” He inhaled sharply, shaking his head, and his voice took on a much softer tone. “No, honey it’s nothing like that.” He exhaled in a controlled way. I watched his face.

He chewed his lip and huffed, still struggling to look at me. Eventually, his eyes met mine and held my gaze. I’ll never forget the look of pain in them.

“Well, what is it? You’re scaring me Will.” He stroked my hand, then my cheek.

“Lily… in the time I’ve known you…”
He took a deep breath.

“Ok
ay, out with it, just say it,” I snipped. “My nerves can’t take any more of this shit, Will.” His eyes fell to the floor.

“If I tell you Lily, I don’t want it to affect our relationship or yours with
Saffy.” His eyes looked dull and concerned. I knew whatever he had to say wasn’t good. I watched his body language prepare to tell me something that he knew I didn’t want to hear.

“Will, whatever it is, you can’t keep it to yourself now. I promise to try to keep our relationship as it is, you and
 Saffy are like family to me now, so I figure that whatever it is, we’ll weather it.”

Will inhaled
 deeply, and I could feel his angst. The atmosphere between us was very tense. “You sure you want to hear this?” he asked giving me a sideways glance.

“Just tell me.” I was getting really annoyed now.

“Okay, here goes nothing.” He sighed. “On Saturday night, when we were at dinner, and I went to the bathroom, do you remember that?” I nodded. Will struggled with his thoughts, then continued, “Okay, well, Max… he was on his cell…In the hallway I mean.”

I waited, holding my breath. “He was talking to a female saying, something like,
‘it’s been a pain to be away from you, won’t be long now Kelly. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow’. I thought I’d heard him wrong, then he said, ‘I’ve missed you too, babe.’ I was going to confront him, but then he said, ‘Okay, we’ll get some time and meet with them, talk soon’ and hung up.” I had felt there was stuff that Max avoided, but now it made perfect sense.

Max was reluctant for me to visit him in Nashville when I tried to pin him down
with a date during one of our conversations at the airport. 
How stupid am I?
Of course Max would have a girl, and he cheated on her with me. I felt devastated that he could betray me like that.

Will enveloped me in his strong arms and
 squeezed me, resting his head on mine for a moment, before letting me go. “Lily, I know I’m not wrong. I’m a guy, from how he was speaking to her, I don’t think it was just a friend. Kelly’s his girl.” He looked terrible at having to tell me this, and I could see he cared about me. I felt that the last thing he wanted was to hurt me.

“There was something else.
 He was texting a few times on Friday to someone when we were on the boat, and he was smiling kind of wistfully when he was reading the replies. You were looking at your phone were you texting with him?” I shook my head. “I thought he was texting with you, but when you stopped, and he kept going, I kind of realized he wasn’t texting with you at all.”