Essence of Desire (22 page)

Picking her up in his arms, he walked out of her kitchen and into her living room. He sat down on the sofa with her cradled tenderly in his lap.

“Okay, tell me what’s wrong, Felicia.”

Felicia’s face quivered as she tried not to break down again. For a short while, Trask’s kisses had made her forget. “They’re trying to take Austin away from me,” she said softly, not meeting Trask’s gaze.

Trask stared down at her, confused. He reached out and placed his finger under her chin and tipped it up so their gazes could meet. “Who’s trying to take Austin away from you?”

Felicia couldn’t stop the single tear that fell from her eyes. “Steven’s parents. Mr. Gardner came to see me today. He said I’m unfit and that they would take me to court to get Austin.” Tear glazed, pleading eyes stared at Trask. “But I won’t let them have him, Trask. I won’t.”

Trask pulled her closer into his arms and kissed her forehead. “Of course you won’t.” He gently rocked her in his arms before saying, “I arrived back in town around noon today. Why didn’t someone call and tell me what was going on? I saw Clayton before coming over here tonight, and he didn’t mention anything about this.”

Felicia released a deep sigh. “He doesn’t know. No one in my family knows. You’re the only one I’ve told.”

Trask stared at her, more confused then ever. “Why? You know they’ll help you if they--”

“But I can’t depend on them this time. I can’t let my family fight my battles forever. I will fight for my son on my own, Trask. I have to do this. Austin means everything to me and I won’t let them take him away from me.”

Trask couldn’t help but admire the courage and determination he heard in her voice. But little did she know that she would not be fighting anything alone. He would be there with her all the way. She was his woman, the woman he loved. And Austin had become the son he had always wanted.

“Even if you don’t want your family’s help, you should have consulted Clayton and Syneda for legal advice. I understand Syneda is one of the best family attorneys in the business, and that her specialty is custody and domestic relations. I’m sure she’ll know exactly how you should proceed with this.”

Felicia shook her head. “I really didn’t think about that. The only thing I could think about was that I didn’t want my family to come running to my rescue.”

“But they love you, Felicia, and that’s what being part of a big family is all about; knowing someone will be there when you need them. And that’s what love is all about, too; being there for the person you care a lot about. Remember that.”

He leaned and kissed her lips before placing her out of his lap and next to him on the sofa. “I’m going to give Clayton and Syneda a call and ask them to come over.”

He reached out to pick up the phone. Before dialing he turned to Felicia. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. No one is going to take Austin away from you. Trust me.”

***

Syneda Madaris was one sharp attorney, Trask thought as he watched her in action. She knew all the questions to ask, every bit of information to probe and each hypothetical situation to consider.

And then there was Clayton, who was a prosecutor’s nightmare. He was there to remind Syneda of moot points, irrelevant information, and possible objections. Together they made one dynamic team of lawyers. But what Trask really appreciated was the fact that they were straightforward and honest in letting Felicia know what she would be up against.

“I wish I could tell you the Gardners’ claim is frivolous and not to worry about it, but I won’t,” Syneda said sadly, but truthfully. “Custody battles aren’t cut and dry like they used to be. The mother doesn’t always win anymore.”

“But I love Austin and I’m a good mother. I’ve always put him first,” Felicia said in a small, quiet voice.

Syneda nodded, knowing firsthand that was true. Even when Felicia had lived a self-indulgent lifestyle, she had always put her son first. “That may be the case, but there are some who won’t see it that way,” Syneda responded honestly. “It really will depend on where the petition is filed. California is more liberal than most states, and your past lifestyle won’t be such a factor there. The main focus will be the present. But if it’s filed here in Texas, that’s another story. Most Texans are found to be conservative and moralistic. Your past history will matter, so you may as well prepare yourself for that.”

“So what are our options?” Trask asked when the room became despondently quiet. Just by looking at Felicia he knew she was clinging harder than heck to her self-control. He could tell that hearing what Syneda was saying was taking a toll on her.

“Well, if it came to that, we could pull in a bunch of character witnesses who can attest that Felicia is a good mother, but then...”

Trask noted Syneda’s hesitation.“But then what?”

Syneda released a deep, heavy sigh. “But then, that’s hoping the opposing side doesn’t find out about Austin’s near drowning incident. Although it was by no means Felicia’s fault, I can see them using it as the sole basis for their complaint.”

Trask turned and watched Felicia’s reaction to Syneda’s statement. Tears suddenly appeared in her eyes. “It wasn’t your fault, Felicia, and you can’t continue to blame yourself for it,” he said to her.

“But I should have been with him. I should never had gone out on a date that night and left him with a sitter.”

“Parents leave kids with baby-sitters all the time, Felicia,” Clayton added. “No court will fault you for that. All Syneda is saying is that evidently the Gardners are people who are used to others being intimidated by their wealth and power. They will try to use anything and everything against you. They won’t play fair, and you just need to be prepared for it. I know this may sound archaic, but it would probably help your case tremendously if you were married now. It would show a sense of commitment and an embracing of family values on your part.”

Felicia didn’t saying anything for the longest time. Her eyes were downcast and her hands were tightly clasped in her lap. When she did lift her gaze to them and began speaking, her voice was filled with all the dismay that shone in her face. “I’m frightened. Austin is all that I have. I can’t lose him. I can’t.”

Trask stood and walked over to her and knelt before her. He took her hands in his. “And you won’t. If it takes every penny I have, I’m going to help you fight this thing. You won’t be alone in this, sweetheart.”

He pulled her down to him, and when her body sagged defeatedly against his, he held her tight to calm her trembling. Pulling her closer, he kissed her hair. “You are a good mother to my son. Don’t ever think otherwise. We’ll do whatever we have to do. Even if it means getting married immediately. And considering the circumstances that may not be such a bad idea.”

Felicia pulled back out of Trask’s arms to look at him, stunned by the words he’d spoken and the offer he had made. Surely he wasn’t serious. But one look in his eyes told her that he was. In the three weeks that he spent with Austin, he had come to care deeply for him. Just as Austin considered Trask his daddy, Trask had begun thinking of Austin as his son. That was something neither Steven nor Charles had ever really done. And at that moment, she knew he was right. She would not be alone in her fight against the Gardners. Trask would be there with her because he felt he had a personal stake in the outcome as well. He would do anything, even alter his lifestyle for her child. He had already done that by volunteering to be Austin’s holiday dad.

Tears glistened in Felicia’s eyes as she continued to look at Trask--really look at him. And what she saw went deeper than his handsome outside features. She saw a man who genuinely cared. She couldn’t think of the words to say to tell him just how much claiming Austin as his meant, or how touched she was at his offer of marriage to help win her case. Cupping his face in her hands, she leaned down and kissed him.

Across the room Clayton and Syneda watched the tender scene unfolding before them, doubting very seriously that Trask and Felicia remembered their presence. Clayton held open his arms to his wife and she walked into them.

“I think it’s time we left. We’ve done all that we can for tonight,” Syneda whispered to her husband.

“Yeah,” Clayton said, shaking his head at the couple, who were still kissing. When it didn’t appear they were going to come up for air anytime soon, he decided to clear his throat to get their attention. Both pairs of eyes swung to him and Syneda when the couple remembered they were not alone. But neither Trask nor Felicia had the decency to look embarrassed, just annoyed at the interruption.

A slow smiled curved Clayton’s lips. “Seems like you’ve been playing in Houston’s dirt, Trask.”

At the bemused looks on Felicia’s and Syneda’s faces, Clayton’s smile widened as he explained, “It’s a private joke.”

***

Trask let himself into his condo feeling tired and strained. He had left Felicia’s house not long after Clayton and Syneda. Although he had read the invitation to stay longer in her eyes, he had placed her needs before his. It was apparent that she needed to rest. Today had definitely been a bear for her. Here it was two days before Christmas and she had to deal with the possibility of losing her son.

He had kissed her thoroughly before leaving. The flavor of her mouth, the distinctive fragrance of her perfume, and the way her body had fit close to his rammed his memory, making him take a slow, deep breath. Walking away and leaving her tonight had been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.

Trask checked his watch before picking up the telephone to make a call. He then dialed the number.

“Yeah?”

“Alex, it’s Trask. I need your expertise.”

“For what?”

“I want you to do a little investigative work into the background of a man from California by the name of Andrew Gardner.”

He could hear his brother’s sleepy yawn before he asked, ”What exactly are you looking for, Trask?”

Trask thought about Alex’s question. It was time to show Andrew Gardner that he wasn’t the only one who could make power plays. He smiled as a word Clayton had used tonight suddenly came to his mind. “Dirt. I want dirt and plenty of it.”

Felicia woke up bright and early Christmas morning, thinking that this would be a day Austin remembered for a long time. Although he had had a number of presents under the tree, she knew he considered his best gift of all to be the one he had received early: a daddy for the holidays.

She released a long, deep sigh as she got out of bed. She had made a decision to push Andrew Gardner’s visit to the back of her mind and not let the man ruin her holidays. She simply refused to let him take away her joy for the season. Worrying about his threat would be a waste of energy, and she needed all of her energy for a little boy who would wake up in an hour or so, excited and happy.

As Felicia went into the bathroom she thought about Trask-- a man who she had always considered nothing more than a thorn in her side . . . until recently. In the last two days, he had become her mountain of strength, someone she could lean on.

A warm contented feeling swelled inside her when she thought about the tall, broad-shouldered, powerfully built man who had shown nothing but gentle kindness to her son. A man who two nights ago had offered himself to her in a way no other man had ever done--honorably and unselfishly--when he’d suggested they marry. She considered it amazing how their relationship had changed. Even her uncles had noticed the harmony between them at Austin’s play the other night.

All of them had watched her and Trask with curious and cautious eyes, as if they were seeing it, but not believing it. Everyone was so used to them constantly sniping at each other. Her uncle Lee had informed her that everyone was assuming she and Trask had called a truce for the holidays because of Austin. They just hoped and prayed that none of them were around when the truce ended and things with her and Trask got back to what they considered normal.

Liquid heat gathered low in Felicia’s abdomen when she thought of the kisses they’d been sharing recently. In her opinion, the kisses were no longer enough. It seemed that each and every time they kissed things got hotter and heavier, and their passions flared fast and furious.

Like last night.

After he had put the last training wheel on Austin’s bicycle, he placed his tools aside, stood, and turned to her. She had been standing against the doorframe of the living room, watching him and, all the while, appreciating the look of his big, muscular body.

“Come here.”

Without any regard for the slight command in his voice, she had walked into his arms for the kiss she knew awaited her there. His taste had been dark. It had been alluring. It had been seductive. No man had ever made her feel the way Trask made her feel, both physically and mentally.

Realization suddenly gripped Felicia, almost staggered her when it dawned on her just why she felt that way. She had fallen in love with Trask. She struggled to catch her breath and knew it would be useless to go into cardiac arrest about it. She should have been smart enough to read the handwriting on the wall weeks ago when he had become a nightly invader of her dreams.

And if she were real smart, she would admit she probably loved him for quite some time. What other reason could there be for sniping at him all those years unless it had been to hide her true feelings. She had been the one to start a scrapbook on him when he’d first begun getting media recognition in high school, and she kept it updated since. She had been the one who had cried a river of tears on Trask’s mother’s shoulder the night he had gotten injured in that game against the Broncos. And she had been the one to bully and harass him into enduring the many months of physical therapy that had followed.