Eternal Hearts (Incurable Hearts 2) (11 page)

“Stop worrying then, it isn’t like she is going to try and jump you in front of everyone” he joked.

“Piss off. You can cook on your own now,” I said, walking away from his apologies and pleas for me to keep him company.

I carried on walking past Megan taking the
cowards’ way out and pretending I hadn’t seen her. I found Jase in the kitchen surrounded by women cooing over Sophia. He saw me come in and swiftly joined me.

“Mate, I have been surrounded by women since I walked through the door” he said.

“And you think that is due to your charm? More like, because you’re holding a baby. Women love them don’t they?” I said, bringing him back to earth.

“I’m pretty sure it’s my charm too,” he said.

Sometimes, his old cockiness came through, he hadn’t lost himself completely when he settled down.

I wondered why Anna wasn
’t here today. I know she isn’t comfortable with Jase around the ladies, not after their past. He hasn’t given her any reason to doubt him since they became a couple, having Sophia has soothed her insecurities but not completely, hence, she wouldn’t be happy today.

“When does this party finish?” I asked
, already regretting coming in the first place.

“What? You’ve only just got here,” he laughed.

“I didn’t realise there would be so many kids about”

“It’s a
kid’s party, what did you expect?”

“Not so many of them” I stated, “I’ll catch you later” I told him, grabbing a bottle of beer on the way back out to the garden.

There were just as many kids out here as there were indoors. How can a one-year-old girl know so many people?

Alex was still flipping burgers, Ava was filling plates up of food with Nat, my mum and Henry were sat in the corner of the garden so I
went to join them before I got roped into helping in some way.

Another ten footsteps and I would have made it before Megan stepped in front of me.

“You’re really going to ignore me? I thought we left on good terms?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

“We did, I didn’t know you were here,” I said lamely.

“Really? So I didn’t see you look at me when you passed and ignore me?”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say” I admitted, “How have you been?” I asked taking a seat at an empty table in the corner of the garden.

“I’ve been well, thanks, you?”

“Busy” I smiled.

I know she has responsibilities, yet she was completely carefree in the way she spoke and with everything about her really.

Before I knew it we had been talking for a while and it was now time to sing happy birthday to Jasmine-Lily. The rest of the afternoon was a success, soon people started to leave, I would quite happily leave, it was nice spending time with Megan but the headache all the children caused was horrid, unfortunately Ava had offered to help clean up so
I was stuck here. Before Megan left, I quietly asked if she would like to go for another drink, I liked talking with her.

Jasmine-Lily was asleep in Alex’s arms when I joined him out of the way of being asked to help too.

“She’s worn out bless her” he said.

“I’m not surprised all that running about”

“Aren’t you angry that you missed out on doing all this for Ava?” he asked.

I hadn’t thought about it, there was so much I had missed out on while she was growing up
, I didn’t stop and think in detail about each milestone.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, “I haven’t given it much thought, I can’t imagine being a dad back then, it still feels weird I am now”

“You’re lucky she had a decent upbringing, and had a good family looking after her”

“I know,” I said
, turning to look at him.

I don’t know where all this was coming from today, but seeing the way he looked down at Jasmine-Lily he probably couldn’t understand not being there for her, which I could understand.

Jas doesn’t want me to be angry with her for keeping Ava a secret, to a point I’m not, but when situations like this arise, I do feel angry that I was never given the chance to be a dad from the beginning.

I understand why Jas did what she did, I just wish she would have trusted me to do the right thing.

“To be honest I was surprised you wanted to do this again” she said as she got in the car.

I was surprised too, it wasn’t only because Nat and Ava kept on at me to call her, I wanted too.

“I enjoyed myself last time”

It wasn’t much of an explanation but I didn’t know what else to say.

“Me too, so, what are we doing tonight?” she asked.

“I thought we could get something to eat, I know a nice place”

“Great” she smiled.

The night was going smoothly, there weren’t any awkward silences, and the conversation never ran dry. She was funny, I could banter with her and we both seemed to understand each other’s humour.

She had only been in one serious relationship, like me, and like me she had loved intensely and wasn’t the one to end the relationship. She told me how she has been on a few dates but cuts them short if she doesn’t feel they are going anywhere because of her son. She doesn’t want any negative energy around him. Each time I found something out about her, I liked who she was even more.

“So, I have told you a lot about me, how about you?” she said.

“What do you want to know?” I asked.

“Why don’t you tell me about Jasmine?”

I was taken aback, I wasn’t expecting to be asked about my wife whilst on a date.

“You don’t have to hide her, I understand how it is, there is no point in pretending we haven’t been in love and had lives”

“Okay, we knew each other when we were teenagers, when she turned seventeen she disappeared, nobody knew where she went or why she left”

I didn’t mind talking about her to Megan but she didn’t need to know all the details and I wasn’t going to tell her part of the reason she left.

“Then after nearly thirteen years we met again, she didn’t recognise me at first but a couple of days later we saw each other again, after one weekend together she changed my life” I tried to explain in as little detail as possible.

“I must admit, Nat has told me a little about it” she admitted then let me carry on.

“Until she told me the truth about her illness our relationship was very much up and down, she was completely different to how she was when she was younger, it turned out I was working on her house the whole time and I never knew. We got married a month before…she died, that is about it really”

“How long were you together?”

“Only for five months”

“Such a short amount of time, life isn’t fair, is it?”

“It certainly isn’t, but I wouldn’t change anything, well, apart from the ending,” I admitted.

“As you got in contact with me this time, does it mean you are ready to move on?”

“Before she died she told me she wanted me to be happy, I’m ready to move on, starting with getting to know you, if you don’t mind?” I said hoping my words were true.

“I would like that very much, your kind of the first guy I have wanted to see again,” she admitted with a slight blush.

“Why don’t we agree to take things slow and see where it goes?” I suggested.

Megan hadn’t suffered the heartbreak I had but she had suffered in her own way, from what I understood about her is that she doesn’t want to rush anything, which is good for the both us.

“Sounds good,” she agreed.

We finished our drinks and walked back to the car, I jumped when she held my hand. When she went to pull her hand away in embarrassment I held onto it harder. From the apologising look I gave her I knew she understood. As I was driving her home, the atmosphere felt different, I felt different. I pulled up out front of her house and cut the engine.

She took hold of my hand again, her hands were soft and delicate. For once I wanted another woman’s touch, I wanted Megan’s touch. She knew about my past and understood my need for patience. For once, I didn’t compare her to Jas, I was in the moment with no guilt, only need.

My natural instinct was to take her here in the car, instead, I leaned in towards her, supporting her head with my free hand and pulled her into me. Her lips were just as soft as her hands and she was kissing me back. The way she flicked her tongue against mine was killing me, the more we kissed, the more I had to have her. From the way she was trying to get closer to me, I knew she felt the same.

“Would you like to stay?” she asked breathlessly.

“Yes”

Before either of us could say another word, we were both out of the car and she was unlocking the front door.

Her home was in complete darkness and I didn’t see the toy truck that was left lying on the floor, luckily I had my boots on otherwise it would have been painful. It did remind me she had a son.

“Where is your son?” I asked, as she turned and wrapped her arms around my neck. 

“At his dads”

She took the lead and led me up to her room, I didn’t only have the lust and the normal horny emotions, it was strange, I realised I genuinely liked Megan.

I woke suddenly, I could smell women’s perfume, I knew I wasn’t dreaming and there was certainly a woman lying beside me, and from the skin on skin contact I felt, she wasn’t wearing a lot. Within seconds last night came back to me, I had stayed at Megan’s.

I didn’t move a muscle, fearing I would wake her, I wasn’t ready for the next morning chatter just yet.

I couldn’t stop myself, my first thought was of Jasmine. It was stupid, I had every right to move on, to find happiness where I can. But, like always, she was always close by in my head.

It wasn’t fair to Megan to see me like this
, I gently rolled out of her bed and crept from her bedroom, careful not to wake her as I retrieved my clothes. I could breathe a lot easier once I was out on the landing. I felt terrible for leaving before she woke up but I had to get out of here. I found some paper and a pen and left her a note saying I had to get back for Ava and that I would call her later. I meant it too, maybe I should text her in a couple of hours just to show her I am not like the other men she has dated, like the man I used to be.

Ava was staying at Nat’s last night so I was positive she wouldn’t be here. I wasn’t worried about the early hour, my mum has always been an early riser. I walked around to the back of the house to the kitchen where I knew she spent most of her time, especially in the mornings. I prayed Henry wasn’t around, he keeps telling me to move on, but it would still be awkward, and I can’t be dealing with any awkwardness this morning.

My preys were not answered, both Henry and my mum were sitting at the table drinking coffee. My mum jumped up when she saw me and immediately looked worried. Surely I don’t give her that much grief she has to worry when I show up unannounced.

“What are you doing here so early?” she asked, checking me over for any signs of physical harm.

“I’m fine mum, I need to talk to you, can you give us a few minutes please Henry?”

He frowned when I asked but he left taking his coffee with him.

“What’s going on Chris?” she asked
, as I pulled out a chair and slumped down.

“Something happened last night that has changed everything,” I murmured.

I didn’t want to specifically speak with my mother about this, but she is the only one I can talk to comfortably.

“With Megan?” she asked.

I should have known Natalie or Ava would have told her about my second date.

“Yes, we had a good time, we get along really well and neither of us want to rush into anything”

“That sounds like a good thing” she commented.

“It is”

“So, what is the problem?” she asked confused.

I couldn’t help confusing her, I was confused myself.

“I…like her, really, like her” I admitted for the first time out loud.

“I see, and you automatically feel guilty because you feel like you are betraying Jas?”

“Not exactly”

“Then you are scared. This Megan is the first woman you have took a liking to since Jasmine, it was never going to be easy but you must really like her enough to get you acting like this” she said.

I didn’t know what to say, I do like Megan and I do want to see her again.

“Stop over thinking it, you can’t compare this woman to Jas. Nothing can take away what you shared but if you can’t get over this then you will be alone for all days, and I don’t want that for you” she said
, squeezing my hand.

“I do know this, I guess I just wanted to hear it from you” I said.

“Aw, it doesn’t matter how old you get, you will always need me boy” she laughed.

“Alright, I’m leaving.” I said standing up, “I’ll pick Ava up on the way home”

“Chris, don’t think too much, life has a way of choosing for you sometimes, relax and enjoy your-self,” she said before I closed the door.

“Thanks mum”