Eternal Hearts (Incurable Hearts 2) (6 page)

“I bought Jas, your mother here once”

“Will you tell me about what she was like?” she asked.

“Did you ever try to Google her before coming here?” I asked, trying to find out what she already knew.

“I did, there were many photographs of her and some of you. I mainly found articles on her death and about Jasmine Enterprises. Nothing really about her”

“I know, I Googled her once and found the same, well obviously not about her death but all I saw was her career. I was approached a couple of years ago to tell my story of our life together by some guy who wanted to write a book, tell the world who Jasmine Collins really was”

“Why didn’t you do it?” she asked.

“Because I didn’t feel comfortable talking about our relationship and Jas would have hated it. She made it a point to stay private as much as she could” I told her.

“Makes her seem like a mystery”

“That she definitely was,” I muttered.

She didn’t know a lot so I was going to have to fill in the blanks after all.

“I don’t know where to start,” I admitted.

“Why don’t you start with how you met?” she offered.

I hadn’t spoke of Jas in depth to anyone since her death, I didn’t have to as they knew her but our daughter knows nothing. Somehow I’ll have to dig deep and fill her in on everything she deserved to know.

“First time we met was when we were growing up, we used to hang around with the same people. S
he left when she was sixteen, the next time I saw her was when we bumped into each other again after thirteen years”

“That is it?” she asked
raising her eyebrows, she seemed disappointed.

“Yeah, it was everything that happened after we met that turned into one hell of a story”

“You could start from the beginning” she enticed.

“There was an instant attraction between us, two days after we saw each other again we spent the weekend together, she was a completely different woman to the girl I used to know. She was strong, assertive, she had this power around her. Of course, I didn’t know about her illness, I fell hard and fast for her” I smiled.

It shocked me to feel good talking about Jas, it hurt to even think about her most of the time in the last three years.

“You are the exact same image of your mother when she was your age” I blurted out.

“I can see the resemblance myself from the pictures I have seen, do you have any photographs of her I could look at?” she asked.

“Sure, I have some of her when she was young too”

“Thank you”

It went quiet while our food arrived, it didn’t feel awkward though. Now I knew I was her father I couldn’t stop looking at her. She was a part of me.

“She mentions your family but nobody from her side. Do I have any other relatives?”

She didn’t know it yet but she had more in common with Jas then she thought, Lizzie was no good for Jas, there was no way I was introducing her to my daughter. As much as I wanted to I couldn’t lie to Ava.

“Her father died about ten years ago, her mother lives here in Cambridge. She once mentioned a cousin in Kent, apart from them she never spoke of anyone else”

“Do you think I could meet her mother one day?”

“She isn’t a very nice person and she has a drinking problem. She and Jas didn’t get along well at all. She uses people and turns nasty when she can’t get her way” I explained bluntly.

“I would still like to meet her, see for myself”

Most certainly like her mother, no matter what I said she would still do what she wanted.

“Fine” I relented, “But
I’ll come with you, I don’t want you meeting her on your own”

She silently agreed and began eating her meal.

“What about you, don’t you have to go back to London?” I asked.

“I don’t have anything to go back for,” she said.

“What about your aunt, won’t she be worried about you?”

“I’ve spoken to her on the phone, she understands why
I’m here”

“Good, so, what was it like for you growing up?” I asked intrigued by her life I knew nothing about.

“I was adopted when I was a week old, I don’t remember much about my adoptive parents but I do remember it was never kept a secret from me. My aunt raised me with her husband, I was always told when I was old enough they would help me find my biological parents but they didn’t have to as Mr Jones turned up at their house a few days after my sixteenth birthday and gave me more information I could have ever imagined. I read through it for weeks before deciding to come here”

“Does your aunt mind you being here, away from her on your own?”

I already didn’t like the thought of her being on her own anywhere and I’d only just met her.

“I didn’t really give her much choice, I want to know where I come from even if I don’t like what I find”

“Do you like what you have found so far?” I ask.

She genuinely smiled, it was the same smile I rarely received from Jas.

“Yes, your mum and Henry are really nice and I like Natalie, she has been to see me a few times. To be honest, you’re not what I was expecting you to be like” she laughed.

“What were you expecting?”

“I always thought when I did meet my parents, they would look older. You don’t look old enough to have a sixteen year old daughter,” she said, laughing again.

“I don’t feel old enough,” I laughed with her, “I have been meaning to ask you, why is your surname Collins if you were adopted?”

“As I told you, they never hid it from me, apparently keeping my mother’s name would help me feel myself as I would always have a link with her. They hyphened it with their name, Reed”  

“Why do you think she never told you about me?” she asked
, getting back to Jas. 

I let
out a heavy sigh before answering, I didn’t want her to hear the bad side of but in order to understand Jas, she had to know everything.

“She never felt she had anyone she could trust, her dad left when she was eight and she was the one who looked after her mother. I would have helped her if she had told me what she was going through but she was scared of being let down” I took a deep breath and continued, “The way her life was at the time, she struggled with everything. When she created Jasmine Enterprises she closed herself away completely. Everything you have read about her, her lifestyle, how successful she was,
etc., it was all a façade of who she really was. She was a very sad woman who worked every day, even Christmas so she didn’t have to be on her own”

“Until she met you again” she observed.

The pain of knowing I was the happiest time in Jasmine’s life still depressed me yet made me happy at the same time.

“Yes, once I got past the walls she had built up and found out the truth about her illness, she was happy. I never left her side”

I coughed trying to hide the choking in my throat and pushed my plate away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to up
set you. I have enjoyed hearing about her but we can talk about something else if you like?”

“I’m fine, it’s hard talking about her after all this time that’s all. I will tell you everything you need to know about her, maybe not all at once” I smiled weakly.

“Fair enough. Let’s talk about something different,” she said finishing her meal.

She was really easy to talk to. I found out what she was into at the moment, music, films, and books. Apparently she was big on reading and had loads of books back in London. It felt strange, I kept expecting Jas to turn up or I got the feeling I should call her, she should be here meeting our daughter but that was never going to happen, the pain shooting across my chest reminded me of that.

She was telling me about her writing, how she likes to write short stories. Who would have thought Jas and I could produce a girl like Ava? She spoke with certainty in her voice, she knew what she liked and what she didn’t. She came across like she wasn’t angry about her past, maybe she had come to terms with it, like she had said, she hasn’t been hidden away from the truth, that was just me.

Where we go from here I don’t know,
I’ll have to speak to my mum, all I do know is I want to get to know my daughter and I don’t want her going back to London.

Once we had both finished our meals,
I drove her back to my mums. She had been quiet during the journey, it was an awkward silence now and I didn’t know what to say to ease it.

“You can say no if you’re busy…or just no…Henry said he would come…I have an appointment with Mr Jones tomorrow, would you come with me instead?” she asked nervously.

“Sure I will,” I answered before it dawned on me where I would have to go. The last time I went to his office was the will reading.

“It’s at ten am,” she said.

“That is fine, I’ll pick you up from here. You should go inside, I know my mum will be dying to know how this afternoon went” I smiled.

“Are you not coming in?”

“No, I’ll see her tomorrow morning before we have to leave”

I had to get away and be on my own, talking about Jas, finding out I have a daughter was too much for today. I had to think things through.

“Okay, thank you for today, I appreciate you helping me understand”

She quickly got out of the car and knocked on the door, I waited until my mum let her in before I drove away.

I couldn’t believe I had spent the afternoon with my daughter. All these years I spent partying, drinking too much, only looking out for myself and then Jas for a short while, and along I had a big responsibility growing up without me. What was Jas thinking not telling me, especially in those last moments before she died when she wouldn’t have had any repercussions? I thought I knew everything about her, turns out I didn’t.

“How are you son? I was worried when you didn’t come in last night”

“I’m fine, I wanted to be on my own to think things through. Is she up?” I asked.

I arrived at my mum’s early so we didn’t have to rush off. I cleared my schedule for the day so I could spend it getting to know Ava some more and offer her support if she needed it after her appointment with Jas’s lawyer.

I was excited, the first time since Jasmine left me. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling happy when she wasn’t here to experience it with me but I still did.

“She hasn’t been down yet but I have heard her moving about”

“How was she when she got in last night?” I asked.

I was worried she would be overwhelmed by all of the different family members wrapped around her at the moment.

“She was very happy, she told me all about your time together. I get the feeling she is here to stay, to get to know us all better”

I could see her happiness flooding out of her at the prospect.

“Good, I want the same. She is very much like Jas, isn’t she” I stated.

It wasn’t a question.

“Listening to her speak is how I would imagine Jasmine would have sounded like if she didn’t have the illness hanging over her”

“I saw the same yesterday” I smiled.

“She is quite nervous about today, she is glad you are going with her”

Knowing she was already depending on me scared me a little. I didn’t know how to console a sixteen-year-old girl let alone one who was my daughter. I desperately wanted my mum to come with us, just to ease the situation if one should arise but I couldn’t depend on my mother for everything. I had to do this myself.

Just as I was declining an offer for breakfast, Ava walked in freshly showered and ready for the day ahead. She didn’t look nervous about seeing me again like I felt which put me at ease.

“Good morning, did you sleep well?” I asked as she sat across the table from me.

“Yes thank you, what about you?” she asked.

She had an easy breezy air about her this morning, it was refreshing.

“I slept well too, thank you” I smiled.

However, under the smile I had lied, not because I was upset with her in my life, the lack of sleep came from thinking about all the changes in my life that would now occur. It wasn’t the physical changes I was worried about, they were in sequential against the emotional changes I would have to make in order to be able to bond with my daughter. Bond enough for both Jas and myself.

“I thought we could spend the day together after your appointment with Mr Jones?”

My heart raced waiting for her answer.

“Are you not busy with work? I don’t want to disrupt your life anymore then I already have” she asked.

“You’re not disrupting anything, the guys can handle the work on their own”

And if they couldn’t, there would be trouble.

“Cool, would I be able to meet Lizzie today?” she asked, looking both at my mother and I.

“I don’t think that is a good idea just yet darling” my mother interceded on my behalf.

She seemed to be thinking something over before she spoke again.

“You guys have been so nice and welcoming to me, I’m hoping if she does turn out to be as bitter as you say, I would like to think I can rely on you?” she said.

Whenever she spoke, it was always with an assured certainty of what she wanted and just like her mother, I had the feeling I would never be able to say no to her.

“She really isn’t a nice person, I saw
first-hand of the way she treated Jasmine, I mean your mother. I wish you would wait a while before bringing her into your life” mum said, coming to sit with us at the table.

“That is why I want to do this now, get it over and done with”

“You’re just like your mother. She could never be swayed once she had got something in her head”

I watched the now two most important women in my life talking about the woman who has always come first and I felt something in me release. I could have this without Jas and still be happy. I wanted this.

“And as I imagine, he will do as you ask just like he did with your mother” my mum added raising her eyebrow at me, mocking me to gain a smile from Ava. It worked, and like that, they both knew I was putty yet again.

“I know where she will be, once you are finished with Mr Jones we can go and see her, but if she so much as acts like she did with Jas, we will leave immediately.” I warned her.

I couldn’t stop the pain she caused my wife but I’ll be damned if I let her do the same to my daughter.

“Sounds fair” Ava agreed.

“Okay, well, let’s get this over with”

The day lost some of its appeal knowing it would end with disappointment for Ava.

Flashbacks to the will reading flashed before my eyes. Mr Jones’s office was near enough the same apart from the colour of the walls had changed from white to a shade of dusky grey.

Ava looked too young to be having any business here, the chair she was seated in made her look smaller then she actually was.

“Mr Jenson, I trust you are well?” Mr Jones asked as he sat at his desk, which hadn’t changed at all, still scattered with files and papers.

“Much better than the last time I was here” I replied without much effort.

“Good, now, you have had some time to read through the papers I left with you, do you understand them
any better?” he asked Ava.

“I think so, I understand completely the large sum of money she left me but the part about Jasmine Enterprises I do not” she said.

Whoa, hold on, I thought Jenna was in full control of the business. I was there when it was handed over to her and the papers were signed. I should have asked to read what she had before we came here.

“When Mrs Jenson made this decision
, she wanted to make sure you never went without and had a continuous income. The ten per cent share she bequeathed you gives you a considerable income. You are a very wealthy woman” he smiled.

It made my blood boil with anger to hear Jas was actively thinking and making plans for Ava while she was with me and still said nothing.

“What do I have to do with the ten per cent?” she asked.

“Nothing, you have every right to attend meetings, things like that but you can be a silent holder if that suits you best”

“Why would she leave me so much?”

Mr J
ones didn’t answer immediately, when he did speak he kept flicking his eyes to me.

“Your mother was a very wealthy woman, although she kept her financial affairs private she was very generous with the ones she loved dearly. I know of her anguish over you, it was I who she turned to for advice. She very much wished to share her fortune with you personally but when her condition no longer made that possible, she had to know she could leave
you financially comfortable. In regards to how much you inherited, there is no doubt your children’s children will live just as comfortable as you, not adding the income from Jasmine Enterprises” He finished.

Christ, how much did she leave her?

“I can arrange for you to meet the woman who took over Jasmine Enterprises if you like, she can explain it better then I?”

“Yes, that would be good” Ava said smiling at me.

“Okay, I’ll arrange that for you. Is there anything else you would like to ask me about?” he asked making notes.

“I don’t think so, I am still taking everything in to be honest” she replied.

“You can always get in contact again if you do think of anything” he smiled reassuringly, “I just need your signature on a couple of things and that will be all.” He said to Ava then looked at me. I had the feeling he wasn’t finished just yet.

“And for you Mr Jenson, I have one more letter for you from Mrs Jenson” he said digging around his files.

I couldn’t say anything, I was half expecting this, more like hoping she left me some answers.

My hand shook when I took the letter from him, it was in the same style envelope like my previous letter from her.

After fifteen minutes we were back in the car, Ava was quiet. She had a lot to think through so I left her be with her thoughts. I didn’t for one second believe she now understood her inheritance any better, fuck, I didn’t even understand it and I knew how Jasmine worked. As I parked the car in the pub car park, I went to ask her if she was okay but evidently she wasn’t as the tear running down her cheek betrayed her.

“Hey, don’t get upset” I murmured.

“I’m not upset, I’m angry! She knew she was going to die, did she leave me so much because she thought loads of money would make up for the fact she gave me away, then died on me before I could get to know her? There was always a possibility I would eventually have a mother but it’s like I’m being compensated for permanently having no mother” she spat.

I couldn’t blame her for thinking this way, I would have and I did in her position.

“All this money scares me. I couldn’t wait for the day when I could meet my parents, I didn’t for one minute believe you were all stinking rich and famous,” she added.

I couldn’t help laughing. For someone so young she had a good head on her shoulders, but she only saw the exterior of the situation. To change her way of thinking I would have to delve into a conversation I thought I would never have to speak of again.

“After everyone knew the truth about her illness, she thought everyone in the family hated her. I took her to my mother’s for lunch to show her how wrong she was. She took one look at the poor condition of my mother’s kitchen and took it upon herself to hire a woman to redesign the perfect kitchen for my mum. Another time, she wrote Nat a check for seventy thousand pounds so she could go to university and pay for childcare. They thought the same as you do, she was trying to buy their happiness, making their lives perfect, preparing them for when she died”

“What do they think now?” she asked interrupting me.

“You have to understand, I know now that between giving you up for adoption and the upbringing she had is what made her hard. When we got together, all the walls she built up very slowly came down again. She never done anything to show off her wealth or claim anyone by her money, everything she did was because she wanted to help and the only way she could do that at the end was her money. It seems between us, we are the only ones she really loved”

“How many millions did she leave you? If you don’t mind me asking,” she asked.

My words were having a positive effect as she was beginning to calm down, so I carried on with the truth.

“She didn’t. If she had her way she would have. She left me a loan, which I make repayments to a charity. I didn’t want anything from her, and I told her that, I didn’t find out about the loan until the will reading”

“That is more personal, she knew what you wanted. It hurts she will never know what I wanted?” she said beginning to cry again.

“What do you want?” I asked her, I wanted to see her smile again, I had no clue how to console her so keeping her talking seemed the best way to go.

“I want a family, I love my aunt Grace, she has always tried to put me first but there has been times where I have just felt in the way”

“Well, you have a family now. Jas isn’t here but surely you have noticed she is always around, she wasn’t a woman who disappeared just because she died.” I smiled weakly.

“I would like that.” She smiled, “Shall we go in?” she asked blowing out a nervous breath.

“Sure, remember what I said, if she upsets you we will leave” I reminded her.

She nodded swiftly and opened the door. Henry had text me earlier to let me know Lizzie’s whereabouts. To say I wasn’t happy about this was an understatement, I never want for Ava to feel like Jas did all those years ago. It was like walking back in time, Lizzie was still sitting on the same stool at the same position at the bar. Nobody else was in here so she turned when she heard the door open and close again.

Her looks had diminished considerably, she looked much older
than her years. I was embarrassed for her, Ava had to be as well. It didn’t surprise me she was already drunk at this time of day, I don’t think she has been sober for a very long time.

“CJ, what is going on?” she asked
, staring at Ava in shock.

“This is Ava, your granddaughter” I replied bluntly.

It was becoming uncomfortable when Lizzie just stood there staring at us. All of a sudden she turned pale, Ava noticed too and rushed over to help her sit back down.

“My name is Ava Collins-Reed. Jasmine gave me up for adoption when I was born.
I’m sixteen years old. It is very nice to meet you,” she said offering her hand.

It took my breath away how polite she was, especially standing here seeing her grandmother for the first time as drunk as she is on a weekday. Lizzie took her hand and kept it in hers
, never taking her eyes away from her.

“You look the spitting image of her,” she whispered in disbelief.