Eternal Hearts (Incurable Hearts 2) (4 page)

“Where are you staying Ava?” mum asked her.

“At a hotel in the city before I go back to London” she replied.

Again, so much like Jas, she could also speak with my mum easily. I didn’t like the thought of her staying on her own, she was only sixteen.

“Where
in London do you live?” I asked her. She sounded like she lived there a while.

“Greenwich”

“Is that where your parents live?” my mother asked her.

“No, they died when I was five, I live with my aunt and two cousins”

“Oh, I am sorry to hear that”

Before I heard
any more about this girl’s life I had to read this letter, see what Jas had to say to her. I couldn’t read it here with an audience though.

“I am going to read this letter, I’ll be back in a minute” I told them on my way out of the room. I made my way upstairs a
nd locked myself in my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath.

Dearest Ava,

Now you’re reading this, you’re old enough to hopefully understand. The day you were born was the hardest day of my life. My decision to give you up for adoption was the only option I had for you to have a normal, decent upbringing with everything I thought at the time I couldn’t give you.

I was assured the family you were going to were a good, stable, hardworking family who would love and look after you like you deserved.

I don’t want to flood you with lame excuses but I know with all my heart that if I were in a better place when you were born I would have kept you in my arms forever.  From the moment the nurses took you away I prayed for the day when we would see each other again.

Unfortunately that will never happen now, as I found out last year I have an incurable brain tumour. I am writing you this letter with not much of my life left because my hopes of seeing you again will never happen. I hoped I would be able to personally give you the answers to the questions I’m sure you have.

My name is Jasmine Elizabeth Collins. Jasmine Enterprises is my creation and when you are old enough, you will have a ten per cent claim to it. After you were adopted I threw myself into work shying away from anything or anyone who could hurt me. Then Karma came and slapped me across
the face and paid me back tenfold for all the wrong decisions I have made in my life.

You probably want to know who your
biological father is, his name is Christopher Jenson. The first thing you should know about him is he never knew about you, he didn’t know I was pregnant with you either.  Your father and I never had the love at first sight type of relationship, we were both young. I left everything and everyone I knew when I found out I was having you, as I didn’t want you to be trapped in the same life as I was.

However, in September 2010
, we literally bumped into one another again for the first time in thirteen years, he was still as gorgeous as I remembered and this time around we did fall in love. I knew of the pain I would cause him, as I couldn’t give him myself completely or for very long and the weight on my conscious keeping you a secret from him weighed excruciatingly heavy, every day I looked at him and saw you. Even when we were married I couldn’t tell him.

Once I was accomplished career wise I tried to get you back but because you
had been adopted I wasn’t allowed to try, that is why I never told your father about you because he wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it until you were old enough. He is a good man and if I knew back then what I know about him now, he would have been and still would be a great father to you. I truly hope you do try to find him. He will be angry with me for not telling him but I know he will love you. His mother, Fiona Jenson is a wonderful woman and will adore you, I’m sure of it. His brother Alex Jenson is younger than your father and at the moment he is in a relationship with Natalie Harrison and she is pregnant with their first child. The other two people in my life are Henry Robinson, he has worked for me for years but over time he became like a father to me, if you ever need help for anything this is the man
to find, he will do anything for you in my place. And there is Rose, again she has worked for me for years. I hope you meet them all, they are my only family and I love them all very much.

You might have a wonderful life and won’t need the help I can and will offer, which is what I wished for when you were adopted but if you accept, I can offer you a life beyond anything you could think of. Reading this means my lawyer Mr Jones has contacted you, I hope he explains everything to your understanding.

You might not believe me but I have loved you every day since we parted and I regret so much I’ll not be able to meet you and for that I will never forgive myself.

The only two people on this earth I have ever truly loved are you and your father. Even if you are angry with me, please if you want to, find your father.

All my love,

Jasmine Jenson nee Collins

Xxx

I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe I was sitting here reading Jasmine’s words about a part of her life, a big part, that she never she told me about, a life I have been connected to for the last sixteen years. A life she should have told me about.

Once again Jas didn’t just keep a minor secret from me. She may have kept her disease from me in the beginning but she did eventually tell me. However, she spent
every day with me for five months looking me in the eye, sleeping with me in the same bed, spending time with my family all the while purposely not telling me I had a daughter. We had a daughter.

Suddenly thinking of a conversation we had on our honeymoon, I remembered we spoke about a
‘what if’ future and us having children. We even gave them names, and Ava was not one of them but then why would it be? We already had a daughter named Ava.

As much as I couldn’t believe this was happening right now, I did believe Jas was telling the truth. Saying that, it would be ludicrous not to get a
DNA test done. Not just for my sake but for Ava too, she doesn’t have a mother, it is only fair to the girl to know for sure who her father is.

Part of me wanted this, a part of Jas still around with me but the other part was angry and confused
, making the plan I was beginning to form easier to carry out.

Ava and my mother were still sitting on the sofa where I left them to read the letter. Henry was nowhere to be seen. What I had to say concerned him as well so he needed to be here, I sat on the chair facing the both of them.

“Did you read it?” mum asked
, quietly.

I nodded unable to look at Ava, it really was like looking at Jas. Although I couldn’t look at her I noticed my mum couldn’t take her eyes off of her. This was so fucked up. Henry walked back in and remained by the door. I
stood, cleared my throat and began talking.

“I read the letter and while I don’t disbelieve Jas’s words, I would still like to know for sure” I started, “The
re is no doubt you are Jasmine’s daughter and because of that I would like it if you would let Henry drive you back to the hotel. I would offer for you to stay here but I don’t think that is wise until we know for sure I am your father”

“Sounds fair,” she said quietly with a hint of sadness, maybe?

“I don’t want to sound like I don’t want you here, but if you turn out not to be my daughter I don’t think I would be able to cope again. I have only just got myself back on my feet after losing your mother” I explained, wanting her to fully understand what I was thinking.

“I don’t like the idea of her staying on her own at the hotel Chris, why don’t she come and stay with Henry and I?” mum asked.

I could see the begging in her eyes for me to agree. Although I didn’t want her getting too attached to this girl, I didn’t want Ava on her own either. She was so young, all I knew was I couldn’t have her here until the results confirmed Jas’s words.

Ava looked up, she didn’t look too worried about the proposition.

“It is Ava’s decision,” I said, sitting down on the chair opposite them.

“I would like that” she smiled.

My chest ached, her smile was the same as her mothers.

“I know this is messed up and me being here brings memories back to life for you but I hope you understand I need to know where I come from. Put the pieces of the life I should have had together
, so I can move forward myself,” she said directly to me.

My head was scrambled, I couldn’t think straight but I didn’t want her thinking she was a problem to me. I crossed the distance between us and knelt before her so she could see my honesty.

“I completely understand, we all need to know the truth and when we get that everything will move forward in a positive direction but until then, it is more simple for the both of us if we don’t get too attached in case the outcome is not what we have been told”

“That makes sense,” she agreed.

“We should get moving then. I will make the necessary arrangements first thing in the morning and get this matter resolved as soon as possible,” Henry said, standing to leave.

“Thank you Henry, are you going to be alright Ava?” I asked her.

“Yes”

Everyone stood to leave, my mother was satisfied, and I knew she would be waiting to leave so she can ask her a million questions. I had to keep reminding myself Ava could be her granddaughter and she had every right to.

Henry led mum out to the kitchen to get her things while Ava hung back with me.

“Are you sure you are going to be okay?” I as
ked again, she looked nervous and scared and I didn’t want her too.

“Yeah, it’s…I’m more worried in case you’re not my father, it means I have to start my search all over again” she admitted.

As she said the words I felt something in me change, I realised I wanted her to be my daughter, I wanted Jas to be telling the truth.

“Don’t worry about anything, if the worst is confirmed, we will help you. You won
’t be on your own,” I offered and she relaxed a little.

After they left I returned to the living room closing the door behind me. Tonight has been unreal, going home with my mum could be my daughter. Not just with some random woman either but with Jasmine. I never would have of thought any of this could be possible but just like when she was alive, she never ceased to shock me.

I realised I was still holding Ava’s letter in my hand, I re-read her words again like she had come back somehow.

Most of the time it was difficult to try and understand how Jas would think about things or how she would act in certain situations. She writes in the letter she didn’t tell me because there wasn’t any point, as I couldn’t meet Ava until she was old enough to make her own decisions, but she could have given me some warning. If she had told me I could have been prepared for tonight. Maybe even searched for her myself just to see what she was like. All the answers to my questions I would never know now, as the one person who could answer them was no longer alive. I reached out and took hold of the vase that stood on the small table next to the sofa, I went to throw it against the wall but stilled at the last moment. There was no point in venting my anger this way anymore, there wasn’t any good to come from it. I remember smashing my old kitchen to pieces the last time Jas revealed a big secret she had kept hidden from me, but that didn’t help, she still died.

I don’t know which one is bigger, her death or our daughter she never told me about? I always knew there was a reason she left the estate and that it wasn’t just down to Leigh and what he tried to do to her.

As I placed the vase back in its place Alex came back in, he looked stressed and a lot more sober than the last time I saw him tonight.

“They have gone then?” he said
, slumping down beside me.

“Yeah, she has gone back with Henry and mum”

“You believe her, don’t you?” he asked.

“She is definitely Jas’s daughter, you can’t deny that. As far as her being mine, Henry is going to arrange the necessary tests first thing tomorrow”

“I thought you were making progress getting over Jas, now you have the same look that has haunted you for the last three years. Even from her grave she still has some sort of hold over you. Some kid turns up claiming you’re her father because it says so in a letter from a dead woman and you all pander to her. She is mugging you off, if you were her father Jasmine would have told you about her when she was alive” he said, standing up.

I stood myself coming face to face with my little brother, he got away with a lot with me but when it concerned Jas, there was nothing anyone could say about her, not even Alex.

“Don’t talk about her like that, after everything she did for you and Nat, she never treated you like this” I reminded him.

There was no doubt he was looking out for me but he knew what happened with us, he knew Jas didn’t find it easy to share her life. Did it frustrate me, did she make me so angry I could have physically hurt something…hell yes it did, but she was who she was, she admitted herself she didn’t have enough time to change her ways.