Ever the Same (20 page)

“I can. I’m going to swim the best and go to the ’lympics and win medals.”

“Oh wow. We’d better start talking to the coaches at UT, huh?”

“Uh-huh. I’m the strongest girl, like you and Daddy Ron.”

“You’re the best.” He kissed her head. “Hungry?”

“Uh-uh. I want to show you my new baby doll. Can I?”

“Of course. You’ll have to describe her to me.” A lump rose in his throat.

“I’ll go get her, and you can hold her, and I’ll tell you her name.”

“I’ll wait right here.” He didn’t think he could face anyone else right now. He wanted to stay in here, hide. Rest.

Avoid any more interventions.

“You okay, Son?” His dad sounded sad.

“Fabulous. Just peachy.” Dad was the enemy too. He might not have participated, but he’d let them gang up on Dixon.

“I’m sorry, Son.”

“Yeah. Give me a few days to figure out what I’m doing, okay?”

“Of course. I just wanted to check in.”

“Daddy has to meet Susannah.” Randi was back, and she made him smile.

“Come tell me about her.”

She put the doll in his hands. “Be gentle with her. She’s only little.”

“I never broke you, did I?”

“Nope. I ’member. You and Daddy Ron were careful with me.”

“We were.” He traced the tiny doll features. “Hi, Susannah.”

“Her hair and skin are dark, like Daddy Ron’s. Isn’t she soft?”

“She is. So pretty.” He patted her dolly hair.

“She is. I love her so much. Grampy says he’s gonna make a bed for her.”

Because God knew Daddy couldn’t. That lump in his throat grew, threatening to choke him. “Well, your Grampy is good with his hands.”

“Uh-huh. Like you. You’re better, though, ’cause you make the guitar laugh.” She pushed in his arms, hugged him tight. “Oh, Daddy, I missed you so bad. Tonight will you play for me?”

“Of course I will.” He opened and closed his fingers on the hand not holding Susannah. He hadn’t played in weeks, it felt like.

“Good. I don’t like sleeping without your music, you know, Daddy?”

“I do. You’ve always had me to sing you to sleep.”

“I didn’t at Gram and Grampy’s. I wanted to call every night.”

“You should have. Next time I’ll call you at night.” Every single night. He promised.

“Thank you, Daddy.” She kissed his cheek. “I want a sandwich. Do you want one?”

His grown-up girl.

“I do. Can we eat them together?”

“Uh-huh. We can go to the side porch and be just us. Peanut-butter-jelly and a Coke?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Okay. Let me put Susannah in my bed and we’ll go.” She tromped off, and Dixon reminded himself that out of everyone, she was adjusting. No one knew what they’d lost but the two of them. Nobody really understood.

As long as she was with him, he could figure this out. They couldn’t take Randi away.

He’d fight it to the death, damn it. She needed her daddy, and he needed her. He needed to make sure she grew up well. That she knew her family, that she remembered Ron. That she had music.

That she had a daddy who loved her more than he feared living like this, forever.

That had to be worth a thousand interventions.

Now he just had to figure out what to do next.

Chapter 13

The phone
rang about two minutes after Audie plugged it in and slid into bed. He debated ignoring it, but no one called after ten at night.

It had to be important.

So he rolled out of bed and grabbed it off his dresser. “Hello?”

“Hey. You got a sec?” Shit, Dix was so upset he hadn’t recognized the man’s voice at first.

Audie nodded. Damn it, he had to stop that. “I got a lot of them. What’s up, babe?”

“They want me to give them Randi.”

“What? Who?” Shit, if someone was threatening Randi, Audie would kick their asses.

“Ron’s folks. I mean, my mom and dad want me to, too, but… I don’t know what I’m going to do, man. I can’t lose her. She’s my baby.”

“No. No one is going to take her away.” Good Lord, what were those folks thinking?

“They said it wasn’t fair—not to Randi, not to Mom and Dad.”

“Well, what do they know?” He was getting growly. “You need me to come over?”

“I don’t know. No. No, I just… I needed a friend, man. Someone to talk to.”

“Well, I’m here.” He settled back in bed. “You know I got your back.”

“I know. They want me to give her to them and go to the school for the blind.”

“Well, that’s stupid.” Randi was a daddy’s girl.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I said.” Dixon took a deep breath, let it out. “Shit, I said a lot of things, and most of them weren’t nice.”

“Well, they ganged up on you.”

“Yeah. They called it an intervention, for fuck’s sake.”

“Oh, babe. I’m sorry. You don’t need that.” An intervention? Seriously? Like Dix needed another fucking challenge. “Let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. You and Randi.”

“Yeah? She’d like that. She misses Grainger and you.”

“She misses Sarge.” He wasn’t stupid.

“That too.” Dixon chuckled. “I’m sorry if I bothered you. I just… I needed a friend.”

“You can call me anytime. I hope you know that. If you need me, you call.”

“I do. I… I admit, you were the voice I wanted to hear.”

“Good. I’m selfish enough to be pleased.” Audie wanted to be important to Dixon. His lover.

“I’m scared, man. What do I do if they take her?”

“Fight it. We’ll figure out something.” He did need to get Dix more self-sufficient. Surely there were classes. Training. Something. God, maybe Grace could help with her computer. Or…. “Do you have a computer, honey?”

“At home. My house, I mean. Austin.”

“Oh.” He chewed his lower lip. They could get Dix a laptop for now. Hell. “Well, we can figure out the details. But I want you to breathe.”

“Breathe, right. She asked me to play for her tonight. She crashed and burned.”

“Poor kid.” He knew Randi loved her grandparents, but a girl needed her dad.

“Yeah. She was happy to see me, I think.”

“Well, sure she was.” God, he didn’t know what to do any more than Dixon did, but he’d be damned if he let on.

“Thanks, Audie. For listening. I…. You’re a good guy.”

“Shit, Dix. I’m your fucking lover. Who else would you call?”

Dixon went quiet for a second, and then he took a deep, deep breath. “Oh. Cool.”

“I do. Am. Love and shit.” Suave, Audie. Smooth.

“Good, because me too, and it’s not a fucking rebound. It’s you.”

“Yeah?” His smile hurt, it was so wide.

“Yes. I swear.”

“That’s good to hear, Dixon.” His heart thudded against his ribs. “I’ll help brainstorm about Randi, huh?”

“Yeah? Thank you. I… I need someone to help.”

“I can do that.” He had no idea how, but he would. He loved Dix enough to fight for him.

“I’ll make it up to you. I swear. I won’t be useless forever.”

“Babe, you are so far from useless. I can think of a hundred things you could do if you were here.”

“You’re good for a guy’s ego.”

“Hey, you make it easy to want you, babe.”

“You should have known me before.”

“I love you just as you are.” Dixon needed to hear it, and Audie meant it, so he’d keep saying it.

There was a long pause, then a whispered, “Thank you, love.”

“You’re welcome. You want me to read to you?” He’d done that more than once now, and Dix didn’t seem to mind the cowboy books.

“Do you mind? Just for a few?”

“Nope. I was reading anyway. So, we were on what, chapter eight?”

“Yeah, Martha Ellen had just cut Wendell down from where they’d tried to hang him.”

“Lord, they do have troubles.” He chuckled, flipping open the book. When he glanced up, Grainger stood in his bedroom doorway. “You mind if Grainger sits in too?”

“You readin’ to Mr. Dix?” Grainger grinned and headed right over. “Hey, there! Is Randi home?”

“She is.” He helped Grainger up on his bed. “We’re fixing to do chapter eight.”

“Chapter eight. Okay, Daddy. Mr. Dix, you ready?”

“I am, Son. I’m listening.”

“Okay.” Grainger snuggled up, and damned if the dog wasn’t up there with them in no time.

Audie settled in and started reading, and the only thing that would have been better would have been if Randi was awake and both she and Dixon were sitting with them.

That was a nice thought. All of them together, maybe having supper and settling in to watch TV or read.

A normal thought.

Did that even exist? Normal? He didn’t know if guys like him got that.

Still, it was something worth wishing for. Worth working for. He began reading, keeping his voice even, easy to listen to.

When Grainger and Dixon laughed together, at the same part, he stopped wishing and started praying.

Chapter 14

“Daddy? Daddy,
where are you?”

“Sitting in the front room. You want to have breakfast with Audie and Grainger?” He was listening to the television with half an ear, ignoring the smell of coffee and the disapproving rattle of pans from the kitchen.

“Yes!” Randi bounced into the room, her feet hitting the floor like a thundering herd of elephants.

“Cool. They said to text when we were ready.”

“I’m dressed. You need to change your shirt.”

“Do I? What’s wrong with it?”

“It has a stain, Daddy.”

“Good to know. Help me pick one.” He stood, sliding around the coffee table.

“Sure.” She took his hand, skipping along next to him.

“Happy to be home, Bumblebee?”

“Happy to be with you and Sarge.”

“Wow, good to know I rank with the horse.” He winked, hopefully in her direction.

“Sarge is way cooler than you. He doesn’t make me eat broccolis.”

“No, I bet he would eat them for you.” He took the shirt she handed him and changed it out.

“He would, but carrots are better. You’re skinny, Daddy. Have you been doing sitting ups?”

“Yep.” For hours. Sit-ups. Push-ups. Anything he could do in his room.

“Well, you need to eat more.” She poked his belly. “Text Mr. Audie.”

“You don’t think it’s sexy?” he teased.

“Ew! Daddy!”

Dixon laughed, pulling his phone out and hitting the button. “Text Audie.”

When he got the beep, he said, “Come get us. I need french toast. Send text.”

Audie’s text tone sounded almost immediately. When he asked for playback, it just said, “On our way.”

“They’re coming. Wanna wait outside?” Avoid Momma and the drama.

Oh, that rhymed. Rock on.

“Sure, Daddy.” She swung his hand on the way out.

He had his wallet and his phone, and he’d be damned if he was going to ask permission to leave, to take his daughter to breakfast.

They wanted him to be independent, right?

Audie pulled up about fifteen minutes later, and he heard Grainger first. “Randi! Want to see my knee? I skinned it bad.”

“Yeah! Did it hurt? On your bike? Can I touch it?”

Audie chuckled, coming to help him down the steps. “Lord. How’s it going, babe?”

“Long night. Glad to be taking a ride.” Unfuckingbelievably glad. “How’s you?”

“Okay. I skinned myself up pretty good too. We had a bit of a hay bale issue.”

“Yeah? Where?” He let his hand slide, up and down, searching Audie’s arm.

“Out in the little shed. I was trying to move a couple of square bales, and we all went down.” There were scrapes there, still soft, not scabby much.

“Ow. Rough and tumble cowboy.” His rough and tumble cowboy. God, Ron was in heaven laughing his ass off.

“I know, right? So, french toast, huh?”

“French toast. Syrup. Butter. Possibly bacon.” He needed bacon.

“Sausage, Daddy.”

Dixon snorted. “She’s on a sausage thing.”

“Well, we can surely do that,” Audie said.

“What about you, Grainger?” he asked. “Bacon or sausage?”

Grainger laughed. “I want pancakes!”

“Carb-loading.” Audie managed the words through his laugher.

“What Daddy?”

Dixon waited, ready for the explanations.

“It means you like your bread, kiddo.”