Ever the Same (28 page)

“No.” No, he hadn’t. He hadn’t been driving, but….

“I love you, Daddy.” She rested her head on his chest so he felt her curly hair against his chin.

“I love you, Bumblebee.”

“I wish we could go somewhere, Daddy. Just you and me together.”

“Yeah. Me too.” He knew she missed being out and about, and God knew he did too. “I’m going to go to school to learn how to be blind better.”

“There’s a school for that?” The idea seemed to tickle her. “What do you get as homework?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t gone yet. You’ll have to help me with it, though. You and Audie and Grainger.”

“Okay. Can we get a Coke?”

“You want to share one with me?” She didn’t need a whole one.

“Sure. Can we have ice? I like it on ice.” She took his hand and hopped down from his lap.

“Yeah. Of course, let’s figure this out. Help me?”

“I can do that. We go this way to the kitchen.” She led him gently. Slowly.

“Thank you. The glasses should be beside the fridge.”

“They’re up high, Daddy. Audie showed me, but I can’t reach.”

God, the last time they’d been here she’d been too small to use a ladder like his mom had gotten her.

“I’ll reach. You direct.” He grinned in her general direction. “You do remember how to be bossy, right?”

“Yes!” Now she was bouncing, ricocheting off his leg. “Okay. Okay. Pick your hand up.”

He lifted his hand.

“Now, move it.”

He waved wildly, playing along. She giggled madly, which made Dixon proud of changing her mood.

“Daddy! Stop. Now, move so slow forward. So. Slow.”

He reached forward, hand barely moving.

“You can go faster, Daddy. It’s a long way.”

“Oh, okay.” He reached out, touched the cabinet. “Is this the right one?”

“It is. You’re doing good.”

“Okay. So. Where are the cups? Up? Down?”

“Bottom shelf, Daddy. The plastic ones are the other way.”

“This way?” He made sure to go the wrong way, and he felt her hair against him as she shook her head.

“No, Daddy.”

“No?” He found two glasses, handed one down. “Ice, please.”

“Yes, Daddy.” She went to the fridge, and her adorable grunts made him smile.

“Now. Is there a big bottle or little bottles or cans?”

“Cans. I think Uncle Audie doesn’t like the bottles.”

“Well, the cans are recyclable and automatic portion control.”

“Portion control?” she asked.

“Uh-huh. That means we know how much we’re getting, every time.”

“Oh. I brought you a can.” She pressed to his leg.

“Thank you.” He opened it. “Okay, we’re each getting half. Tell me when to stop.”

“Almost. Almost. There! Stop.” She sounded so pleased.

“Okay. Next glass, Bumblebee.” God, how could anyone want to take her away? Randi made him a better person.

“Here. On this side.” She was good at the physical tells.

“Good deal.” He poured and she stopped him right before the can was totally empty.

“It’s not even. More in the other one.”

He emptied the can in the other glass. “Better?”

“Yes. Can you hand me the glasses? I can put them on the table, and we can sit. One at a time, though.”

“That’s a good idea. Did Audie buy some cookies? Can you see?” His girl loved a bite of sweet.

“He got cupcakes and Oreos.”

“Oreos. One each.”

“Because they went to get lunch, right?” She huffed, a chair scraping across the floor.

“Yep, and because sugar makes you a beast!” He demonstrated, fingers curled into claws as he roared and growled.

She giggled madly. “I already did that today, Daddy.”

“Beasts!” He loved her so much it hurt, like his heart couldn’t hold all the love inside.

“Cookie.” She came back and handed him an Oreo.

“Thank you. Are we licking today, since we can’t dunk?”

“I think so.” She sniffed, clearly trying to sound uppity. “Twist on three?”

“Uh-huh. You count.”

“One, two, three.” In his head he could see the face she made when she concentrated.

He twisted the top off the cookie, then licked the cream. God, sweet. He just didn’t love that flavor anymore.

Still, he’d play along. He wanted to.

“Yummy!” She was bouncing.

“Yay, cookies!”

“Are you two ruining your lunch with cookies?”

Dixon shook his head. “Hell, no. Shh. Get Grainger an Oreo.”

“Oreos!” Randi bounced away again.

“Dix!” Audie reprimanded.

“One cookie won’t kill them.”

“No, but it might kill us.” Audie put a hand on the back of his chair before bending to plant a kiss on his mouth.

Oh.

Oh God.

“Hey, love. How was your trek? Did y’all have fun?”
Did you really kiss me in front of your son?

“Yeah. We got Whataburger.”

“Yum.” All of a sudden he was starving, and he could smell burgers and chicken fingers and gravy.

“Yep. I got you chicken fingers. You want extra pepper?”

“Please.”

“Do you want me to help you with your plate, Mr. Dixon?” Grainger asked.

“I’d love it, Mr. G.”

Grainger giggled for him, the childish sound making him so happy. He smiled, letting the others flow around him.

“Okay, Mr. Dixon. You got fries and chicken and the gravy’s in the middle.”

“I have them, Grainger. Not got.”

“You have fries and chicken,” Grainger said.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Can I have my hamburger now, Daddy?” Grainger asked.

“You can. Randi, I got you chicken nuggets.”

“Thank you!” She sounded like herself again, his peaceful baby.

“What did you get, Audie?” Dixon asked. He liked learning what Audie ate at different places.

“Chicken fried steak fingers.”

“Ew!” Randi sounded like Audie’d said cockroaches.

Audie chuckled. “Be nice, or I’ll touch you with one.”

“No…. They look like dog poopies!”

“Randi!” He almost choked.

“They taste good, though. You like Texas toast, right?”

It was good to hear everyone interacting, to feel the good vibe they had.

“Uh-huh. Oh. Oh, Uncle Audie, can you make spaspettis with meatballs and Texas toasts?”

“I can sure try.” Audie was smiling. Dixon could hear it.

“Oh, I love spaspettis.”

“What else do you like to eat?” Audie asked.

“Queso. Waffles. Nachos. Oh. Oats. I like oats with peaches.”

“Do you like oats, Dix?”

It was amazing how little they knew about each other sometimes. They spent a long lunch, asking questions and laughing, eating and relaxing together around the table.

The kids ran off to play, and he reached for Audie. “It’s like our own family.”

“It is. They’re so damned cute.”

“They are. You happy?”

“I am.” Audie laughed. “A little nervous. I was looking at the newspaper. Not too many jobs for a guy like me.”

“Well….” Dixon rolled his eyes at himself. “What do you want to do, babe? I mean, like, what’s your dream job?”

“Oh, I want to raise horses. Cutting horses. Really well-bred, trainable. I’d like to help people train their ranch and competition horses too.”

“So you need land, huh? Okay. How much would it cost to get started?” It was embarrassing, how much he had to learn about his lover, his best friend.

“Oh hell, honey. I have no idea what land costs here.” Audie put a hand over his. “Ten, fifteen acres maybe? I’d have to go north or south of town, yeah?”

“I can write you a check for two fifty. Is that enough?”

Audie went quiet for so long Dix thought maybe he’d left the room. Had he said something wrong?

“Audie?” He moved his hand. No, Audie was still right there.

“I—I got no idea, babe. On the money. Grainger’s right. You are rich.”

Chapter 24

Audie was
too stunned to take it back. He wanted to, because the words sounded like an accusation. Still, he’d never seen two hundred fifty thousand in one place in his whole life.

“What?” Dixon looked totally gobsmacked.

“I mean, if you can just give me that kind of money. Shit, Dix, I make like, fifteen a year.”

“I have insurance. Ron made lots of investments. We wanted to make sure Randi wouldn’t need for anything.”

Audie was sitting very still. He just couldn’t make sense of that kind of money. “I’m not trying to be ugly.”

“Are you being ugly? You sound… scared, not angry.”

“I think I might be a little.” He was gonna try to be as honest as he could. “I mean, I need to know I can contribute something.”

“Audie?” Dixon stared into the distance. “What the fuck are you talking about? I need you. Contribute? You still have to help me find the fucking toilet.”

“It just never occurred to me. Even with the house and all.” He felt like an idiot. Who was upset when they found out their man had money?

“I. Ron and I wanted to make sure that, if something happened, the other was okay. I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to….” Dixon trailed off, and he got it. What was Dix supposed to be sorry for? Having money? Having someone who cared enough to make sure that cushion was there?

“I ain’t mad, honey. I ain’t. Just surprised, is all.” He took Dixon’s hand in his, squeezed.

Dixon sat there, holding on to him, quiet as a mouse and ten times as still. Sometimes he wondered if that was new, the sitting there still.

Audie, well, he felt like an ass, but he couldn’t deny his shock. He knew Dixon wasn’t working, but…. He just assumed they were both in the same boat. Single dads trying to raise babies.

“I think maybe we need to talk on it, honey.”

“Okay. I didn’t mean to offend. I was just offering.” There was a hint of shame on Dixon’s face, something a little lost.

“Hey.” He stood before tugging Dix up into a hug. “I’m freaked out, but you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Dixon held on to him. “I’m still sorry. We were having a good afternoon.”

“We can still have a great afternoon. We’ll set a time, have a meeting. My mom used to do that with dad, since he’s always on the road.”

“Sounds good to me.” Dixon kissed his cheek. “Are the kids okay? I don’t hear them.”

“Shit.” He fought a flare of panic because the pool was full of water.

“Randi? Grainger? Where are y’all?” Dixon’s voice rang out.

“Up here, Daddy.” Randi called from upstairs. “I was showing Grainger my horses.”

“Oh. Good deal. Y’all be careful on the stairs.”

“We will. When can we swim?” Grainger asked.

“When the filter runs a whole cycle,” Audie called out. “I’ll tell you.”

“’Kay, Daddy! Guess what? Randi has stinky markers!”

“Those make me dizzy!”

Dixon chuckled softly, shook his head. “Crazy kiddos.”

“They’re good kids.” Audie tugged Dix out of the kitchen and headed for the game room. They sat on the big leather couch, and he tugged Dix into his lap.

God. He was doing this. He was sitting here with his lover in his lap.

Audie chuckled softly, his heart racing. “I’ve never been able to do this in a house. Hell, cuddling has been in short supply.”

“I could touch you for decades. It feels magical.”

This did feel magical. If all they had to do was this all day, everything else would fall away. He kissed Dix’s temple.

“Mmm.” That was a happy sound, and he loved the way Dix wiggled on him.

“Better, huh?”

“Yeah. Yeah, love.”

“Sorry about all that.” This was normal, right? People had to learn about each other.

“Don’t worry about it. I won’t.”

“Good.” He hoped that was true. He doubted it, though. Dixon worried a lot, and he had tons of time to roll things around in his head.

Hell, Audie wouldn’t soon stop thinking on how he hadn’t even thought about money and them in the same idea.

How much money did Dix have? To write a check for a quarter of a million? To offer like it was nothing.

The whole idea made him nervous. Dix’s folks seemed down-to-earth enough, so the money had to come from the other groom. God, he didn’t know anything about Ron really at all. How did he not know anything about Dixon’s…. Was he an ex?

“You’re obsessing,” Dixon said, his voice teasing.

“Am I? I’d rather kiss you.”

“You are. I’m just Dix, your Dix.”

“Yes.” Okay. That settled his soul, and he turned Dixon’s face up to his to take that kiss he wanted. Dixon opened up for him, tongue sliding against his.

Yum. Oh, that was so much better than thinking.

“Daddy? You’re kissing Dixon again.”

“I am. He needed it. Did you like Randi’s horses?” He held out a hand to Grainger to come sit with them, wanting to make it as normal as he could. He wouldn’t push, though.

“I like the markers. She shares her color books. She falled asleep though. Are we going to watch TV together?” Grainger climbed up and settled in with him.

“We are. The cable is back on now.” Audie hunted the remotes.

“Cool.”

It felt good to see Dixon’s arm around Grainger, Grainger snuggled in. The comfort was there, the ease, and it warmed his heart.

He found cartoons, and soon Randi was there too, her blanket in hand, and she crawled into Audie’s lap, back to sleep in a second.