Every One Of Me (33 page)

Johnny was yelling something to me, but I didn't hear him.
The roar in my head was deafening. Jake's eyes flickered over to me, obviously
wondering if he was getting away with the stunt he was pulling, and his face
paled when he caught my glare. It only took a few more seconds of speaking to
her before he scooted farther away from her in his chair and focused on the
announcer.

What had seemed like hours, had only been minutes. Frankie
was already in his corner loosening up and glancing around at the crowd with a
grin. He was a good looking guy, dark hair and eyes, bronzed skin showing his
Italian decent. Unfortunately for him, I was now having a really bad night. He
looked like a nice kid and like he really enjoyed the attention and the career.
I almost felt bad that I was going to mess up that baby face of his.

Next thing I knew, we tapped gloves and the fight began. We
circled each other for several seconds, measuring the other up and waiting for
the right time to strike. He still had a slight grin on his face. Confidence.
Good thing to have.

He struck first. A left jab that I narrowly avoided. He was
quick and I felt the slight breeze hit my cheek from the force of it. I swung
my leg out to drop him but he was quick to jump away. His grin got a little
wider and it looked like he was having the time of his life.

My eyes flickered over to my girl. She was watching me with
a heat in her eyes that I hadn't seen before. She tried to cover it up, but I
saw it. I winked at her then charged.

Poor Frankie never saw it coming.

Jessi

How Tessa did this was a mystery to me.

Charlie was a force to be reckoned with. He was beautiful,
the way he moved, so graceful and so… powerful. I couldn't take my eyes off of
him.

Neither could all the other women in the room.

The two sluts behind us were talking louder and louder the
more they saw me fume. Mon Dieu! What a pain in my ass. They had no respect for
themselves or Charlie… or anyone that was sitting around them that might be a
little protective of him.

Protective?

Yeah, definitely.

I wanted Charlie. I didn't
want
to want him, but I
did anyway and after fighting it for a month, I couldn't think of a better time
to just give in. Even if that meant changing the life I thought I knew,
completely. I had nothing to lose anymore. The life I thought I had, actually
didn't belong to me. It was surreal.

But I had everything to gain.

I had Tess, Benny, Charlie, and everyone else that came with
them. I had never felt that kind of closeness before. My life had been filled
with meaningless relationships that were only pursued for personal gain, not
always on my side of it, though. I had spent the majority of my time proving to
myself that I wasn't fragile, while I tried to keep the pieces of my soul
together.

Now, with these people who loved Tess more than anything and
therefore loved me, I could breathe a little.

That first time I saw Charlie, I thought I had made a
mistake. I never attempted to pursue a man who I could see myself with in the
future. I stayed away from them because I didn't want to be disappointed when
they ripped my heart out from being unfaithful or uncaring. The way he looked
at me didn't help in my effort to keep my distance. I was drawn to him and he
to me.

At least, that is what Tess had communicated to me. She
wrote about the friendship they had years ago and how she knew there was no
other man on earth who could love her the way he did.

I wanted that, too.

So, tonight, I decided that I would give this whole thing a
chance. He was a loyal man, a strong man who fought for what he wanted.

I needed to be like Tess. I needed to fight for what
I
wanted.

Tess would keep me safe.

Charlie wouldn't break my soul.

He wouldn't break my heart.

***

Charlie

The fight only lasted one round.

The first hit I connected stunned Frankie and after that it
was over. He couldn't defend himself once I got him to the ground. His fist did
connect with my bottom lip, though, and it was split open and bleeding as I
made my way to the backroom. The kid was a good sport. He gave me a weak hug
and that same cocky grin.

"Thanks for that, Mackenzie," he had said.

After looking at him in confusion for a few seconds, he
laughed, "Or is it
you
who should be thanking
me
? Guess
you're night is going as well as mine."

I didn't stick around much longer. I needed to stop Benny
from carrying out her ridiculous plan and I just had to pull Jessi aside and
talk to her.

Unfortunately, Benny and Trevor were quicker than I thought.
The two bimbos that had been sitting behind them were sitting on the couch
waiting for me looking like predators about to make their next kill. When they
saw me walk in with my team in tow, they launched themselves at me.

I felt bile rise up as their scent hit me. I think they may
have bathed in nothing but perfume and the strength of it was nauseating. That
headache I had been fighting back was now the only thing I could focus on.

"What a fight. You were so incredible out there, like,
totally insane. Watching you… wow! It seriously is like, so hot."

"Umm, thanks." I looked around frantically for
Benny and Tess… or Jessi, I guess, but they weren't in the room. Trevor was, and
he looked like he was about to run. "If you even think about it, you take
these with you."

He shook his head and started toward me. By then, the girls
had latched themselves onto each arm and were plastered against me. Hands were
roaming over me as I struggled to get away without hurting them.

"Please, don't. You ladies need to get out."

They both laughed like I had just told the funniest joke and
pressed closer. "We were told that we could hang out with you. Looks like
you need some company anyway. We are available and will take really good care
of you."

I tugged harder to get my arms out of their vise like grips.
They were surprisingly strong for how skinny they were and their bony fingers
were sure to leave bruises.

"Get off of me and get out," I said firmly.

"What the hell?"

I jerked my head to the door at the sound of her voice. Blue
eyes were looking my way.

"Jessi."

She was glaring at the two hyenas attached to my sides, but
when she looked into my eyes, I saw pain.

Trevor finally came to my aid and pulled one of the girls
off of me as I pushed the other away, making her fall onto the couch. I saw the
decision in Jessi's eyes before she took the first step. She flew towards the
girls with a fierceness that I had never seen before.

She was going to kill them.

I stepped in front of her as she careened towards the one in
Trevor's grasp. She crashed into my chest, but pushed and shoved as she tried
to claw her way to the woman. I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and
lifted her off the ground before she could get away. She was screaming in
French so I had no idea what she was saying, but from the sound of it, it was
filthy.

I hauled her out the door and into the room across the hall,
kicking the heavy door shut behind us and turning the lock before setting her
down.

"Let me go! I need to teach those sluts a lesson!"

Her cheeks were flushed and her brow was scrunched in anger.
The fire in her blue eyes was blazing, much like the inferno in Tessa's eyes
when she got mad.

It was gorgeous.

"After I'm done, you can do whatever you want. Just let
me go out there and--"

I silenced her with a hard kiss and pulled her into my arms
again. She went stiff for a few seconds until I swept my tongue over her bottom
lip, then she melted against me and started to move her lips against mine.

My cut lip stung with the force of the kiss, and I knew it
was going to start bleeding again, but I ignored it. The pain was nothing.

I slipped my tongue into her mouth and she made a whimpering
sound that sent electricity coursing through my veins. I pulled her tighter
against me and she wrapped her arms around my neck, tugging on my hair to get
me closer.

I felt myself starting to lose control and realized that I
had completely forgotten that this wasn't Tess. I tore away from her leaving
both of us panting.

"Charlie. What… why did you do that?"

I took a few deep breaths, willing my body to calm down,
before I answered her.

"Why wouldn't I?"

She shoved a hand through her long hair and turned away from
me. I knew what I had to do. Tess would want me to do it before I lost her
completely.

"I love you, Jessamyn. You may not know why and I don't
know how to explain it, but I do."

"You do?" Her eyes were wide and frightened and I
could see the beat of her pulse in her slender neck. I wanted to feel that
rhythm with my lips, but I didn't move. I stayed in front of the door so she
couldn't leave before I was finished.

She looked down at her feet, wringing her hands together
nervously. She spoke so quietly that I almost couldn't hear her. "You are
the only man I feel safe with. The only man I could ever see myself…"

"See yourself what?"

She changed her mind about whatever she was going to say and
turned away from me again. "How is this possible? How can you love Tess
and still love the rest of us?"

"Because that's what Tess wants. She doesn't want to
live her life as four different women. She wants all of you to be able to live
that life
with
her. I don't want her to be afraid, though, if that
doesn't work out."

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I don't understand what you
say."

Her accent was getting thicker as her emotions started to
crash around her. I could tell that she was about to lose it and I wasn't sure
why.

"You are a part of Tess. A part she created to deal
with the worry and fear she has about being with me for the rest of her life.
You are her strength in her love for me. Without you…"

She stepped closer to me as I thought about my next words.
My heart raced and my fingers twitched with the urge to grab onto her and never
let her go.

"I don't want to lose
any
of you. I see how each
of you are a piece of her. A strength for her that she may not believe she can
have herself." I stepped toward her, close enough to feel the heat
radiating off of her. "That makes her strong in ways other women can't be
all at once. Therefore, Tess is the perfect woman because she has all of
you."

Her lips twitched, fighting a smile. I lifted my hands and
held her face between them.

"I've got a lot of holes in my soul, Jessi. You all
make up the perfect woman to fill them."

Her blue eyes pierced through me as she looked into my eyes,
like she was reaching into the missing pieces of my soul and mending them
together.

"I have never been in love before, Charlie. Is that
what this is?"

I kissed her lips softly then pressed my forehead to hers.
"This is so much more than just being in love, but since there isn't a
word strong enough to describe it, then yes. That is what this is."

She closed her eyes and sighed. This was the moment Tess was
telling me about, the moment she asked me to take advantage of when the time
came, but watching her open her eyes and seeing blue instead of my favorite
chocolate caramel, I felt doubt. I loved them all, but Tess had my heart
completely.

"Can we go home?" Her usual sharp voice waivered
and I knew she had come to a decision. What that was, I had no idea, and it
terrified me either way.

I kissed her again, because I just couldn't help myself, and
nodded. "Of course."

An hour later, we were sitting in front of my house,
our
house, with the car turned off and silence surrounding us.

"Is it difficult for you to identify with all of
us?" she asked shakily.

I entwined our fingers together and kissed her hand.
"Not anymore. Your blue eyes give you away, but you all hold yourself
differently."

"I wish I could meet her, Charlie. Really speak with
her and find out why she needs me."

"I do, too. She occasionally gets to be with Lydia and
Camryn. Maybe one day she will with you."

She didn't respond, but smiled shyly.

We walked hand in hand through the front door and up the
stairs to our room. She paused just outside the door, looking unsure. She
glanced down the hallway at the guestroom before turning back and walking into
the bathroom while I changed into some sweats and a t-shirt. It was late, and I
was exhausted, but not knowing what was going to happen was going to keep me
awake.

Tess wanted me to treat the girls like I would treat her. If
it was Tess in that bathroom, I would storm in there and take her on the
counter. Instead of doing that, I sat on the bed with my head in my hands. I
know she was okay with it, but it still felt like I would be making love to a
different woman.

I grabbed my pants off the floor and reached inside the
pocket, pulling out the small velvet box encasing the ring I had gotten for
Tess. Obviously, with everything that happened tonight, there wasn't a chance
to ask her to marry me. I wasn't sure how long before she switched back, but
when she did, I wasn't going to wait any longer.

I strained my ears to hear what she was doing in there, but
there was complete silence. I looked around the room, smiling when I saw her
touches on the dresser and the pictures on the wall. All of them were of the
two of us from different times in our lives. When I looked at her nightstand, I
saw her journal lying there, opened. It wasn't necessarily her journal, but it
was where she spoke with the alters and told them her deepest thoughts and
feelings. She told me I was welcomed to read it, but I never did so myself. She
had always just read pieces of it to me.