Every One Of Me (34 page)

After hiding the ring in the drawer of my nightstand, I
stretched across the bed and lifted the book into my hands. It was opened to a
place in the middle of all the entries. One page was written in tall, elegant
handwriting, while the other page was written in short letters with sharp
edges. So different. I knew the short letters were Camryn and the tall was
Lydia. I read a few lines from each page, all explaining what had happened
during the switch. I flipped through a few pages until I got to Tessa's
writing.

Her letters were wide and curvy, much like a typical woman's
handwriting would be. What caught my eye was the large letters in the middle of
the page spelling out my name.

CHARLIE,

I know one day you will read this on your own without me
forcing you to. I hope by then, you haven't decided to leave all this craziness
behind, but I can't force you to stay.

I love you more than anything, Charlie, and I know you
love me. I know it in the deepest part of my heart and soul.

The girls love you, too, in their own ways. Each one of
them can love you in ways that I would never be able to on my own. Which seems
impossible to me, but I know it's true.

Love them back, Charlie. Show each one of them why I
can't let you go. Show them why
they
should never let you go.

Other people may think we are insane to pursue this. I
understand how it looks, I even understand how you might feel about it and I
won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. But I love you enough and
want to be with you enough to not ask you to constantly be waiting for me to
show up.

Do whatever makes you happy because no matter what that
is, I'm happy with you.

I love you.

Every one of me does.

I read over her words again and again, thanking God for
letting me have her.

The sound of the bathroom door opening caught my attention
and when I looked up, Tessa's chocolate caramel eyes were looking back at me
and she was smiling so brightly that I had a hard time taking in a breath at
the sight.

"Tess?"

She stepped toward me, cautiously, like she was approaching
a frightened animal, but she was still smiling.

"Baby?"

"Yes, Charlie. It's me."

"I missed you."

She hurried over to me and looked at what I was reading
before tossing the journal aside and sitting herself down on my lap. I
immediately buried my nose in her neck and wrapped my arms around her.

She kissed the top of my head and ran her fingers through my
hair. "Tell me everything."

***

Tessa

Charlie told me everything that had happened, including
Benny's ludicrous plan to get Jessi jealous enough to reveal her true feelings
for Charlie, which apparently worked, but not the way she thought it would.

I'm just glad it didn't backfire like it would have if
Charlie had played along. No way would Jessi put up with that. She had been
burned too much in the past.

It was Charlie's kisses that fixed everything. Knowing that
he saw
her
and
her alone
was the deciding factor. She loved
Charlie, deeply, but she had no intention of taking it further than that kiss,
which was a relief for me. I had the asinine idea that Charlie needed to treat
all of them as he would treat me, which meant making love to all of them, too.
I wanted him to love them and I wanted them to love him, but I didn't realize
they would respect me enough to leave it at that.

I felt Jessi when I came to in the bathroom, staring at
myself in the mirror. I even saw the blue of her eyes fade into the brown of
mine. I felt her relief and I felt her love for the both of us. She wasn't
going to interfere with that in any way. In fact, being in love and being loved
back was all she had really wanted.

Charlie and I ended up lying down facing each other while we
talked. He didn't stop touching me the whole time and ran his hand over my
body, gradually pulling me closer until we were pressed against each other from
chest to thighs with our legs entangled.

"I don't think I can do what you asked of me,
love."

I knew what he was asking, but I didn't respond. I wanted to
hear what he had to say before I told him that he didn't have to do what I
asked, because it wasn't the solution. The girls didn't have any intention of
being anything more to him than what they already were.

"I love Lydia and Camryn. I love Jessi. I love all of
them so much, but I love my Tess more. You are everything for me, baby. I know
they are a part of you and that's why I
do
love them, but they aren't…
you. You are the only one I want to give myself to in every way."

I smiled at him and ran my fingers over the worry lines on
his forehead. He moved his lips against mine in a gently, barely there, kiss. A
kiss that told me he would do
anything
for me, but that he couldn't do
this. It wasn't right.

"They don't want that from you, Charlie."

"What?"

"They don't want that part of you, baby. They want that
to be mine. I have taken care of them and lived the last few years sacrificing
for them. They don't feel right coming between me and the one man they all know
was made for
me
. Especially Jessi. She's not against you kissing
her…" I smiled at him to let him know I wasn't either. "She just
wants to protect herself, and me."

His relief was palpable and the look in his eyes told me I
had just made a horrible night the greatest of his life. "Thank God. I
wouldn't have been able to go through with it."

"I know."

"Listen, it's not a big deal for me to wait for you,
love. I'm willing to wait however long it takes to get you back to me. I waited
15 years to have you as my own. I can wait a few days here and there, if it
comes down to it."

He kissed me again, a little harder this time, and dipped
his tongue against my lips before pulling away again. "Right now, though,
I can't wait another minute."

He rolled away from me and opened the drawer on his nightstand.
I was a little confused at first. I was expecting him to rip off my clothes and
go for it because I couldn't wait another minute either. He closed the drawer
slowly after picking something up and closing it in his hand. He knelt down
next to me on the bed and looked like he had broken out in a sweat and I was
too busy watching his face to see that he had placed something between us.

When I looked down at the black velvet box, my heart pounded
against my chest as if it were trying to escape my body to jump into his. I
looked back up at Charlie, feeling a warmth cover every inch of my skin and a
sting behind my eyes.

"I know that we haven't been
together
for very
long, but I've spent the last 15 years of my life loving you and hoping to make
you mine some day. I'll wait another 15 years if you want me to, but it will
always be you, love. I know I'll spend the rest of my life being yours, but I'm
asking you to spend the rest of your life being mine."

He reached for my hand and it shook as he covered it in his.

"Will you marry me?"

The tears I had been holding back spilled over and my cheeks
ached from the strength of the smile on my face.

"Yes, Charlie. I'm yours forever."

His mouth came down on mine and his body covered mine. He
groaned when I wrapped myself around him and kissed him with everything I was
worth. I heard the tiny box fall to the floor, but didn't stop kissing him.

"You want to see it?" he asked as he moved his
lips down my neck to my collar bone.

I did, but I didn't want him to stop, yet.

"Maybe later?" I said breathlessly as his lips
touched the sensitive curve of my breast.

I heard him chuckle, then felt cold air as he pulled himself
off of me and grabbed the box off the floor. He wasn't gone long. He covered me
again and slipped the ring on my left hand.

"You can look at it later," he mumbled and
returned his mouth to my chest, "but I want to make love to you wearing it
for the first time. Proving your really mine."

He slid up my body and kissed my deeply.

I forgot about the ring immediately when his hands lifted my
shirt over my head. All I could focus on was the feel of him against me. The
thought of him loving me for the rest of my life.

Every one of me.

1 year later

"So, what now?" Benny asked as she tapped her pen
on the back of her chair.

"No idea," I replied. I stuffed the last of my
clothes into my new duffel bag and shrugged. "I guess I'll just take it a
day at a time."

She scoffed and quirked an eyebrow. "Really? You are
one week overdue, T. Can't they go in there and pull her out or
something?"

I laughed and looked down at my swollen belly, feeling my
little girl kick hard against my ribs. It was still so amazing to feel her
moving inside of me, even when I felt like my ribs were going to break.

"Charlie looks like he is about to snap any second, T.
I think his hair is falling out. He keeps pulling on it and he's going to be
completely bald by the time you deliver."

I laughed again, harder this time because she was telling
the truth. Charlie's hands were pretty much glued to his head, constantly
worrying about whether or not I was going to go into labor, or if I was moving
around too much, or if I wasn't completely packed and ready to go to the
hospital when the time came. Therefore, the reason I was zipping up my bag and
setting it by the front door. I had been packed and ready for the last two
weeks, but Benny kept switching out my comfortable clothes with things that
were extremely impractical. Like lingerie and a tight black dress that she had
found to wear to our rehearsal dinner and wanted me to wear when I left the
hospital. She didn't understand that my body wasn't going to fit in any of that
stuff for a while.

She thought I was being negative.

I thought I was being normal. I was also confused at how she
even got to my bag in the first place. She must have been sneaking in while we
weren't home.

"Hey, babe? Do you know where I put that onesie? I
thought I packed it in my bag, but I can't find it anywhere." Charlie
burst into the room with his arms full of pinks and yellows. "It's not in
any of her drawers either. That's the one I wanted her to wear when we came
home. I just can't find it."

Benny was shaking her head and palmed her face in
exasperation.

I just giggled and unzipped by bag, pulling out the tiny
onesie that said 'Daddy's Little Fighter' in bright pink letters on the front
and pink boxing gloves on the back.

He had it made after the first time he felt her kick hard.
He was holding me in his arms with my belly pressed against his when she kicked
against him. He had been glued to me for the remaining months of my pregnancy,
not wanting to miss a single movement from her.

"I'll keep it in
my
bag, Tess. Otherwise Benny
might replace it with something stupid."

"Excuse me?" Benny sneered.

"Not now, you two," I laughed. The two of them
were constantly bickering at each other, but they loved each other. Charlie
said his love for her had something to do with that first time I saw him fight
in New York. Benny said her love for him had something to do with his credit
card.

I didn't even care enough to figure it out.

We were married two and a half months after he asked me that
night, neither of us wanting to wait very long, and he had convinced me that it
was a good idea to go off of my birth control. We both wanted kids, but I was
still worried about being a good mother. He convinced me and the girls that we
would never know unless we tried.

So now, I was a week over my due date, feeling like a
balloon about ready to pop. Benny and Trevor were still together, but both of
them were worried about taking the next step. Mom kicked Benny out shortly
after the wedding hoping to speed some things along with them. Nothing worked,
but they seemed happy.

Charlie had opened up his gym and stayed busy training a
couple of fighters here and there, but he focused on the young kids who came
there to stay out of trouble. It was a huge success. I helped him with
paperwork since he wouldn't let me get a job anywhere else that he couldn't
keep an eye on me. I didn't mind so much and lately, we were all just
anticipating the baby's arrival so everything else fell on the back burner.

I walked into the bathroom to make sure I hadn't forgotten
to pack my deodorant and felt a gush of warm liquid run down my legs.

"Well, what do you know?" I muttered to myself.

I felt a pull in the back of my mind as I looked down at the
floor.

"About damn time," Lydia's voice rang out from my
lips.

"No kidding. I'm tired of feeling like a balloon,"
Camryn rasped.

"Okay, girls. You keep quiet. I'm not missing this,"
I replied.

"Nous resterons à proximité, Tessa," Jessi
whispered. "We will stay close."

"Thanks girls."

I felt the disconnection fade, but the euphoria of what was
about to happen was welcome.

Charlie walked into the bathroom mumbling about his little
girl being restricted from ever wearing mini-skirts when he saw the look on my
face.

"Tess?"

"Yeah, Charlie, it's me."

He looked down at the puddle I was standing in and his face
paled as he realized what was happening.

"I think I'm going to pass out," he said and
scrubbed his hand through his hair.

His bright green eyes started to water and I couldn't stop
myself from cupping his face and kissing those perfect full lips that were mine
forever.

"Time to go, love."

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me hard, then
pressed his lips just behind my ear, in the spot that drove me crazy, and
whispered to every part of me, "Let's go ladies."