Exclusively Yours (22 page)

“There’s still another two hours before the trail curfew kicks in,” he said. “Why don’t you jump up behind me and we’ll go out, just the two of us.”

She looked for a few seconds like she wanted to psychoanalyze him, then she shrugged. “Okay. I need to run up to the bathhouse first.”

Two weeks in the woods and he’d never managed to convince her to pee over a log, he thought, chuckling as she trotted off toward the closest toilet. She’d done okay for a city girl, though. Other than a lingering paranoia regarding raccoons, she’d acclimated herself to the dirt and the DEET pretty well.

“Going back out?” Kevin asked. He was walking around picking up the stray gloves and goggles the kids had dropped.

“Yeah, just for a little putt.”

“Gonna pop the question?”

Joe almost choked. “Geez, Kevin, it’s only been two weeks. Little premature, don’t you think?”

When his brother only shrugged, Joe shook his head. It was crazy to think two weeks isolated from day-to-day reality was any basis for thinking they could build a life together. Wasn’t it? “Do you think I should?”

“Dunno,” Kevin said. “But maybe you should wait and see if she sells you down the river to that bitch she works for.”

“She won’t do that.”

“You hope.” Kevin looked over Joe’s shoulder. “Here she comes. Try not to roll butt-naked in the poison ivy.”

“Funny.”

He leaned forward so Keri could climb onto the seat behind him, then waited until she’d buckled her helmet to turn the machine around and head back for the trails.

The trail was smooth and there was no tension in her body as her thighs hugged his and her hands rested comfortably at his waist. They rode for miles that way, the darkness broken only by their headlights and the occasional glimpse of house lights in the distance.

He took a side trail—one seldom traveled except by the most experienced riders—leading up to a scenic overlook she hadn’t seen yet. She fell back into the Heimlich habit a few times while he navigated the ruts and rocks, but it was worth it when they reached the top and he killed the engine. In almost absolute silence and darkness, they looked out over the twinkling lights of the town far below.

“This was worth almost dying on the hill back there,” Keri said as she pulled off her helmet.

“You weren’t gonna die. I was, if you’d squeezed any harder, but you were safe.”

They walked to the edge of the rock jutting out from the ground and stood, hand in hand, just looking.

Was this the moment? The perfect, romantic moment to ask her if she’d considering giving up her life in California and coming back to him? He had to ask. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t.

But she sighed and leaned against him so his arm wrapped around her and her head nestled under his chin and he couldn’t bear to risk ruining this moment. She would probably say no and he couldn’t go back and spend their last night with her with that between them.

At least if he kept his mouth shut for now, there would still be hope.

“I could stay up here forever,” she said with a sigh.

“I wish we could,” he said honestly. “But we can’t stay long. We’re already pushing being back in the campground before quiet hours kick in.”

She only wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled a little closer. The words were there on the tip of his tongue.
Will you come back to me?

But he swallowed hard and kept quiet, his eyes on the night sky. He looked up at the stars, wishing one would fall and offer him a wish.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there. At one point he heard Keri let out a shuddery breath and wondered where her thoughts were. Was she thinking about tomorrow? Would leaving him behind be as painful for her as letting her go would be for him?

Eventually he had no choice but to pull away and head back to the four-wheeler. If he didn’t get on the throttle a little, he was going to catch hell for breaking the rules, but it was worth it.

Dangling his helmet from his right hand, he climbed on and waited while Keri took a last look around. But instead of grabbing her helmet and climbing into the seat, she stepped up onto the floorboard and worked her leg between him and the steering column until she was sitting facing him, straddling his lap.

“Gonna be hard steering like this,” he joked, but the humor was a little lost in the roughness of his voice.

They were alone. It was dark. And, even if another rider ventured out after hours and headed for the same spot, they’d hear him coming a mile away.

Her teeth flashed white in the dark as she smiled. “Remember when we used to go parking behind the old cemetery?”

“How could I forget?” He slid his hands up her sides until he cupped her breasts, then rubbed his thumbs over her nipples. “It was a little creepy. That time you hit the heel of your foot on the horn almost killed me.”

“God, that car was ugly.”

He laughed. “I have fond memories of that car, babe.”

“Very brown memories, come to think of it. Ugly brown car. Ugly brown couch in your parents’ basement. Brown comforter on your bed.”

“Brown shag carpet in your parents’ living room.”

She yanked the end of her pink riding jersey out of her jeans and pulled it over her head, followed by the sports bra.

Joe had his mouth on her nipple before the clothes hit the ground, and the squirming that commenced on her part was almost his undoing. Straddling the machine’s seat tightened the jeans across his erection and, trapped under her, there was no relief.

Not that he was complaining. He switched to her other nipple while his fingers made quick work of undoing her pants.

“God, I wish I had a skirt on,” she said, the words dissolving into a moan as he worked his hand into her jeans until he could stroke her.

Joe’s thought process deteriorated almost immediately to
hot. Wet. Want.
He sucked harder at her nipple and her fingers threaded through his hair as she rode his fingers. Her breath quickened, coming in a harsh, rapid pant.

Her hands dropped to his shoulders, her fingernails digging through his T-shirt as she came against his hand.

As soon as the tremors stopped and he withdrew his hand, she tucked her thumbs into her jeans and started to shove them down before realizing that wasn’t going to work.

“It’ll take me forever to get my boots off.” She stood and tried to get her leg free.

Oh, he had a solution for that. Fortunately he’d given this little situation a lot of thought over the last two weeks and now those sleepless hours imagining would come in handy.

“Kneel in the box, babe,” he told her. “Facing backward. And hold on to the back of the seat.”

When she did that, he climbed back on, facing backward, too. By standing on the running boards, everything lined up just the way he wanted it to. After fishing a condom out of his back pocket, where he’d been keeping one just in case, he grabbed the waistband of her jeans and panties together and jerked them down over her hips. Then he dropped his pants as far as he could and managed to get the condom on while treated to the best damn view he’d ever seen.

He put one hand on her hip, and she rocked back to meet him as he guided himself into her. Her fingers dug into the padded backrest and she pushed back hard, taking all of him with one hard thrust.

Screw finesse. This was fantasy time. With his hands on her hips to keep her from sliding on the seat, he pounded into her. Harder. Faster. Until she was whimpering
oh God yes
how much she liked that.

He liked it, too, and as soon as her orgasm hit, he let loose with a few more driving thrusts before giving in to his own with a guttural growl. As the aftershocks rocked him, he leaned over her, resting his forearms on the passenger box’s arms so he didn’t crush her.

“Holy…shit,” she gasped.

He totally agreed. And if he could ever catch his breath he’d tell her so. Instead he nodded his head, figuring she’d feel it, and panted.

Until her body jerked under his. “I think a mosquito just bit my ass.”

With a sigh, he reluctantly withdrew and moved so she could pull her pants up. It was then he realized in his many imaginings of this incredibly hot scenario, he’d left out one little detail. What the hell was he supposed to do with the condom?

One thing the Kowalskis didn’t do out on the trails was litter. You carry it in, you carry it out. But he wasn’t about to put the damn thing in his pocket. He thought about burying it, but that would be awkward.

In the end he settled for shoving it back in its torn wrapper the best he could and putting it in the machine’s storage box. By the time he got that all settled, Keri was fully dressed again, right down to her helmet.

He was a little disappointed. He would have liked to kiss her once or twice or a dozen times before they went back, but it was probably for the best. She climbed into the seat and he climbed on in front of her, only the right way this time. He fired up the engine and turned the ATV around to head back.

When she wrapped her arms around his waist and turned her head to rest her helmet against his back, he smiled. It wouldn’t be comfortable long, especially with a rocky stretch coming up, but he’d take what he could get. For as long as he could get it.

He slid out of bed, careful not to wake Keri, who didn’t seem to be passing any more of a restful night than he had. After dragging on a pair of sweats, he stood in the middle of the cabin and wondered what he was supposed to do. If he turned the light on, he’d disturb Keri. If he booted up the laptop, he’d stare at the blinking cursor until he lost his mind.

Should have stayed in bed and stared at the ceiling, he decided. But he’d see how quietly he could sneak out the door and water a tree before climbing back under the covers.

When he got closer to the door, however, he heard a scratching sound from the front porch. Quietly, he sidestepped until he could see out the window. By slowly parting the curtains, he could see the raccoon rummaging through the toiletry bag he’d accidentally left on the porch.

A faint creak behind him made him to turn to find Keri up, walking toward him. While her nakedness was enough to render him dumb, he managed to put a finger to his lips and then beckon her over.

Her eyes got big when she peeked through the curtains in time to see the raccoon tossing aside the dental floss. He didn’t have any interest in disposable razors, either, though he at least sniffed the deodorant before tossing it off the porch and into the dirt.

After a few more seconds he—or she because who could tell—grew bored with toiletries and turned his attention to the items thrown over the porch railing to dry. In particular, the colorful wrap thing Keri always wore down to the pool. The raccoon rubbed it against his face, then dragged it off the railing and gathered it into a little ball.

Then he calmly climbed off the porch and started walking down the drive, purloined wrap clutched in his little hands.

“He’s stealing my wrap!” Keri exclaimed. “I
told
you the raccoons were criminals up here!”

“Do you want me to get it back?” He hoped not. There was not a doubt in his mind if he went chasing barechested and barefoot after a scarf-stealing rodent, he’d run into one of his brothers and have to hear about it at every campfire for the rest of his life.

She sighed and shook her head. “He can have it. Or she. Probably a she, and one with very fine taste, I have to admit. That was Dolce Gabbana.”

“She’ll be the envy of the entire gang.” He looped his arm around her very naked waist and pulled her close. “The family won’t be up and making coffee for another hour or so.”

“I’m up now. No sense in going back to bed.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he growled, nipping at her earlobe.

A while later, when the sun was peeking through the curtains and they were curled—a little sweaty and a little out of breath—under the covers, Joe felt her silent tears on his chest and his heart breaking.

So had she because, during the idyllic and slightly surreal last few days, her old life—no, her
real
life, dammit—had seemed to fade away. “I think I’ve got everything I need. There’s really nothing left to ask about that fits within the parameters you set.”

As she’d no doubt hear about within two minutes of her piece crossing Tina’s desk. Then again, the woman was such a mad fangirl of Joseph Kowalski’s, maybe she
would
find it fascinating he put mayonnaise on his hot dogs.

“Time for my question then, huh?”

“Yes, and it’s your final shot, so make it a good one.” She braced herself for some outrageous question. Had she ever masturbated in public or some such ridiculousness. Even Joe would have to think hard to top whether or not she’d ever faked an orgasm or if she’d pretended past bedmates were him.

But there was no smile, no dimples. “Would you stay if I asked you to?”

Keri felt as if the air had been sucked, if not from the entire room, at least from her lungs. “I don’t…what?”

“I’m asking you to come home and give us a chance, babe. A second chance.”

“My home is in California,” she said in reflex, without thinking first.

Joe sighed and leaned against the bunk bed frame. “Your
job
is in California. You have a residence there. But the people who love you are here.”

People like him? If he was trying to get away with confessing his love without actually saying the words, she wouldn’t let him weasel out of it. And, honestly, even if he said those three small and scary words out loud, would it make a difference? Could it?

“There are a ton of newspapers and magazines out of Boston, you know.”

“And you can sit in front of your computer anywhere. If you’re so sure we have a future, why can’t you move to Los Angeles?”

The depth of sorrow in his eyes widened the crack in her breaking heart. “I can’t be that far from my family. I love you. There, I said it. I love you, but I can’t move to California.”

I love you, but
… Keri took a deep breath, then stared down at her hands. “And I think I might be in love with you, too, but I can’t walk away from the woman I worked my ass off becoming.”

Keri was amazed the words coming out of her mouth sounded like those of a reasonably rational adult while inside she was a teenager again, sobbing into her stuffed animals while Lisa Lisa sang about being all cried out. Even though Keri had done the leaving, she thought at the time she’d never be all cried out.

“Well,” Joe said in a flat voice, pushing away from the bunks, “at least this time I asked you to stay.”

“And I asked you to go with me.” In an effort to keep the impending tears at bay, she double-checked the bags waiting to be carried to her midget rental.

“Keri.” Joe grabbed her wrist and didn’t let go until she looked him in the eye. “I don’t
think
we have a future. I
know
we do. I want to marry you and have kids and be a stay-at-home writer dad while you take Boston journalism by storm. I want to wake up beside you every day for the rest of my life.”

The tears broke through her will and flowed over her cheeks. Being Mrs. Kowalski and so-and-so’s mom and
babe
didn’t sound as bad as it had almost twenty years ago. But she wasn’t sure she was done with being Keri Daniels yet.

She hadn’t been faced with a choice this confusing and potentially devastating since the last time she’d left Joe. And the worst part was not having the slightest clue whether or not she’d made the right choice then. If not, wouldn’t she be an idiot to make the same mistake again? But she’d been pretty happy—more or less—in California, right up until she’d been tossed unceremoniously back into the bosom of the Kowalski family, so how wrong could it have been?

Her temples started throbbing and Keri buried her face in her hands—maybe to stem the tears or maybe to block out the kicked puppy look in Joe’s eyes.

“I’ll put your bags in the car,” he finally said, and the moment for choices seemed to have passed. “You should dry your eyes and then say goodbye to the family. We’ll be a few hours yet loading everything up.”

Saying goodbye to the Kowalskis was excruciating, and it took every ounce of her willpower not to break down again. The hugs and kisses were hard enough, but Bobby not understanding she was going back to Los Angeles almost killed her.

“But I told Mommy to invite you to my birthday party. It’s next week.”

“I know sweetie, but you know I live in California. That’s all the way on the other side of the country.”

“But you’re my friend and friends go to birthday parties!”

She was about to dissolve in a puddle of tears when Lisa put her hand on Bobby’s shoulder. “We’ll send her an invitation and maybe she can try to make it. We’ll see.”

We’ll see
. Keri had forgotten that magic maternal phrase from her youth. The noncommittal way to get out of a situation that wasn’t going to end the way the child wanted.

She handed Terry one of her business cards and was surprised to find herself wrapped in a fierce hug. She wrapped her arms around the woman who’d been her best friend and let a few tears through.

“I’d be so pissed off at you right now,” Terry said in her ear, “but you’re hurting as bad as he is.”

Keri nodded, unable to squeeze any words out of her throat. Then she broke free of Terry’s embrace and sent a final wave and a wobbly smile in the family’s general direction.

It took her three tries to fasten her seatbelt and it was a miracle she kept the car on the road because she couldn’t see a damn thing through the tears.

It would pass, she tried to tell herself. Just like it had before. Once she was back in her chic apartment with a spa day behind her and a promotion ahead of her, the pain would fade into slight, nostalgic longing.

She hoped.