Fabio's Remorse (Hell Raiders MC Book 5) (15 page)

28

Justine

Fabio's kiss brought all kinds of memories, both good and bad, storming through me. I started to pull away, end the kiss, but he followed, threading his fingers through my hair to hold me steady. My senses reeled. God, I had missed him so much, for so long. My body responded to him, even while my fears sought to push him away.

Finally, he drew back a little, breathless, and leaned his forehead against mine. "Fuck, baby, I missed you so much. Stopping with just a kiss is killing me. I need so fucking much more of you."

My heart urged me to lean in, to encourage him, accept his touch. But terror stood stark in my way, reminding me, refusing to allow me to surrender to him. Still, when he came back for more, I didn't push him away. I might not be able to put it into words, but I had missed his touch, his taste, so much I ached for him now.

He deepened the kiss, exploring my mouth thoroughly, while his hand traced up and down my spine in a soothing pattern. How I wished I could just give in and enjoy him.

"Fahv-bio, is you and Justine making a baby?"

His mouth curved into a smile against mine. "No, Tyler, I'm just kissing her."

"Why?"

Fabio's shoulders shook with silent laughter as he turned, tugging me even closer and wrapping his arm around me. "You got the laser guns all ready?"

The little boy gave a serious nod, hair falling into his eyes. "Yep. I'm ready for the bad mans." He cocked his head a little. "I'm hungry."

Fabio glanced at his watch. "I think we're late for dinner. Would you like some of Mrs. Coleson's mac and cheese?"

Tyler gave an enthusiastic nod, and Fabio went to warm up what seemed like a favorite. Nicole came down a moment later, followed closely by Crank. The big biker took one glance at me, evidently noticed my kiss-swollen mouth. An expression I couldn't read crossed over his face, only to be quickly hidden. He disapproved of Fabio getting involved with me.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I would only end up hurting him all over again. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened. His sharing of some of his misery only made me feel worse. I had to be careful, not just fall back into his arms.

I stayed quiet and kept my distance while Fabio fed the kids, and Crank searched out something for himself. The tantalizing scent of meatloaf filled the room, reminding me I'd skipped out on the snack during our park excursion.

Fabio approached with two full plates and two bottles of beer balanced precariously. I hurried to help, rescuing the bottles before they could topple out of his grasp. "Thanks, that was a close call." He motioned for me to sit. "I hope you still like meatloaf."

"I'm not really hungry right now." Of course, my stomach had to growl like a bear coming out of hibernation.

His devilish half-grin confirmed he had heard. "Your stomach seems to have other plans." He passed me one of the plates. "Eat up." He followed his own orders and dug in. "Soon as the others get here, all that food will disappear like magic. Better get the good stuff now."

Happy with a safe topic of conversation, I started to eat. "When do you think they'll get here?"

"Trip texted. They'll start getting here middle of the night."

Anxiety pooled in my belly. The thought of meeting Fabio's friends made me uneasy. Did they know what happened in the past, how I treated him? Would they hate me for hurting him? Evidently they were the ones who picked up the pieces when he came home. Someday, I hoped to ask him how he became involved with a biker gang.

That thought prompted more anxiety. Weren't biker gangs criminals? I struggled to reconcile the responsible, law-abiding boy I knew with a man who joined a gang. Was he a criminal, too?

I gave myself a mental shake, determined to put those thoughts out of my head. It didn't matter. Despite everything I'd put him through, my feelings for him never changed. The biggest concern now had to be protecting him from me.

He seemed to sense my uneasiness. "A couple of the ol' ladies are coming along, too. Figured you could do with some female company, and they're as tough as their men."

My heart sank into my stomach. Not only bikers, but biker chicks, too? "Oh, okay." I didn't know what else to say.

His chuckle made something in my stomach flip. "Stop worrying. They're tough, but kind, too. Cherry's ol' man died a few years back, and she kind of adopted us all. She's not around as much as she used to be, but she still keeps us in line. Tanya, Trip's ol' lady, used a screwdriver to gut a bastard that helped kidnap her, and thought to rape her. They're wanting a baby, but the docs aren't giving them much hope."

When he put things in those terms, he made me think maybe the women wouldn't be so bad. I guessed I would just have to wait and see. "I'm not worried. Not really. Just meeting new people is sometimes rough for me."

His eyes darkened a little with concern, then he turned back to his plate. "Yeah, kinda figured. Crank is moving his computer shit to the basement, and he'll crash down there, so you can have the guest room. We figured you wouldn't be okay with sleeping on the sofa while people you don't know wonder in and out."

The idea made me nauseous. "You figured right." I took a sip of my beer, then tried to keep my voice casual. "You'll be upstairs, too?"

He shrugged a little. "I'll probably stay down here. I'm sorta getting used to sleeping on this piece of crap. And I don't sleep all that much, anyway."

Sudden panic struck. "I-I can't do that." My breath froze in my chest. "I have to go." I stood, nearly dropping my plate in the process.

"Whoa, there. Take a deep breath, and tell me what's wrong." He'd moved so quickly I didn't even notice, rescuing my plate, and bringing me to a halt.

"It's stupid." I shook my head. "I need to go."

"Justine, I know I said I wouldn't push you, but I have to on this. If I'm going to keep you safe, and I am, I need you near…Oh." His pupils dilated a little. "I'll stay upstairs with you."

I hated the gravitational pull he exerted me, but at the same time, I was helpless to resist it. When his eyes went dark like that, and his mouth softened, it didn't matter what I wanted. I leaned into him, despite the demands of my past.

He pulled me into his arms, and I didn't bother trying to maintain my distance. His big hand cupped my jaw, tilting my head to the angle he wanted, as he bent to claim my lips again. Lordy, this was becoming a habit, and I found myself with fewer objections each time. This time, he didn't bother hiding his arousal, pressing against me.

"Fahv-bio an' Justine is making babies." Tyler's announcement served as a dose of reality.

Fabio laughed. "Not at the moment, Tyler."

Crank cracked up. "Fabio, man, there's a perfectly good room upstairs. I promise, I didn't even drool on pillow too much."

"Eww!" Nicole's snort clearly declared her disgust at the idea. "Please, take it somewhere else."

Fabio raised a brow at me, and gave me that devastating smile. "No pushing?"

Embarrassment set my cheeks on fire, but I still allowed him to lead me toward the stairs. He'd promised not to rush into anything I wasn't ready for, and judging by my reaction to his kisses, I thought it might not take too much persuasion on his part.

All the way up the stairs, his words from earlier kept repeating in my mind.
I couldn't even manage to fuck another woman, Jus. It felt like cheating on you…
Could that possibly be true? I was no expert on men, but I always had the impression they needed release kind of regularly.

Of course, even if he hadn't been with another woman, it didn't mean he'd been celibate, either. Did Crank's disapproval of me have something to do with that? Neither of them really struck me as gay, but then, I'd never been around any gay men that I knew of, either.

He led me into the small guest room and closed the door behind us. "Don't let Crank fool you. I made him change the sheets. Who knows what kind of nastiness he's carrying around, fucking man-whore." He sat on the foot of the bed. "Come here, Jus."

The tremor that ran through me at his words nearly made my knees let go, but I caught myself at the last second. He reached out to steady me, and the sudden movement set off the alarms in my subconscious. I jerked back, out of his grasp, and my heart stuttered to a stop.

My already questionable balance failed, dumping me right on my butt at his feet. Fear forgotten, embarrassment set my face on fire.

He chuckled a little. "Are you okay?" This time, he offered his hands, and let me make the first move.

Cautious, I put my hands in his and let him help me to my feet. "I think so." At least nothing seemed broken. When he guided me to sit beside him, I didn't object, despite the sudden nerves that assailed me. What was I doing here?

"Stop overthinking, Jus." He read my easily. "Remember, I'm not going to push you into anything you don't want. Well, unless it's related to your safety. I won't draw any lines there. But I
will
keep you safe from that motherfucker." The force of his will felt like an irresistible force.

I had no doubts he would do anything and everything he felt necessary to keep me safe. "Okay." The same as earlier, his safety from me meant more. "I just…I'm worried, Fabio. When I called you for help, I put us in an odd circumstance. I hurt you before, badly. I don't want that to happen again."

Moving slowly, he pushed my hair back, then cradled my jaw. "Did you want to hurt me then?"

"Of course not!" That he could even think something like that offended me.

"Okay, then. Do you want to hurt me now?"

"Really?" His shrug was my only reply. "No, I don't want to hurt you now, either."

The pad of his thumb brushed over my lower lip. "Then let me worry about that part."

I looked away from the hypnotic power of his gaze. "But, you said, all this time you couldn't be with another woman. I-I can't risk hurting you like that again."

"Look at me, Justine." He waited until I complied. "I said I couldn't fuck another woman. I did not say I was a saint, or something." He sighed. "I tried, several times, to build something with another girl. I learned a lot of ways to satisfy a woman, and myself, but I never learned to put my cock in another pussy." He paused for a second. "Jus, do you like when I kiss you?"

The impulse to say no occurred and faded in a heartbeat. If he were going to be honest with me, surely I owed him that much. "Yes. I like it very much."

"Good. Because I plan on doing it a lot. Starting right now." He dipped his head, giving me an instant to object, and brought his mouth to mine.

This time, when he asked me to open, I didn't hesitate.

29

Fabio

Her mouth softened under mine, allowing me entrance, and I took what she gave, greedy for her taste. The silk of her inner lips fascinated me, and I took my time exploring. Her breath quickened, assuring me she enjoyed it.

Wary of spooking her, I let my hand trace her back. As much as I wanted to strip her and experience all of her, I knew I had to take my time. She had to get used to me again, learn she had nothing to fear in my touch. I planned to spend as much time with her as possible, with my hands and mouth on her body, while she got used to me again. So I could give her the time she needed.

I believed her when she said she hadn't intentionally hurt me, and I didn't think she would do it again. Had she not been attacked, that would never have happened. Still, I had to remind myself, a lot of time passed. She and I both changed. Physical contact seemed the most immediate personal obstacle, but what if one of us had changed in some way the other couldn't tolerate?

The thoughts started getting in the way of my enjoying her kisses, so I pushed them away forcefully, and let my tongue dance across hers. "I'm going to move us up on the bed where we can be more comfortable, and I'm going to keep kissing you." Warning her of my intentions turned out to be wildly erotic. My dick threatened to break through my zipper, and forced me to adjust myself.

"What are you doing?" Alarm tinged her voice.

My pulse jumped into the danger zone. "Let me have your hand. I'll show you." She paused a beat, then let me take her hand. With only a little resistance, she allowed me press her palm to the front of my jeans. I groaned into her mouth. "See? You have my cock so hard, I had to move a little." The sensation of her small hand, even through my jeans, made me twitch.

She started to pull away, as if burned, but I kept her hand in place, rolling my hips a little. I caught her shocked gasp in my mouth. When I released her hand and guided her further onto the bed, she gave no objection.

We settled in the middle of the bed, and I kept her close, making sure she could feel me, while I teased her lips. Eventually, I deepened the kiss again, taking my time to reacquaint myself with her mouth. And the whole time, I stayed still, even though my dick was signing out death warrants on me for not moving things along. I kept one hand on her back, tracing small circles, trying to keep her relaxed.

She brought her fingers to my shoulder, and trailed lightly up to my neck. Waves of need rolled through me, taking my breath and weakening my resolve to give her time. Her participation in her seduction drove my instincts to take her, but I kept reminding myself. Those bastards had been between us long enough. Rushing things would spook her and bring them back.

In the meantime, my balls tightened and tension coiled in my belly. I ran through every boring, non-sexual thing I could think of in an effort to get a little control.

"Fahv-bio!" Tyler's voice outside the door did the trick. "Will you tuck me in?"

"Yeah, li'l man, you get in bed, and I'll be there in just a minute." I leaned my forehead against Justine's and tried to catch my breath. "I won't be long. Wait here?"

She nodded as I pulled back. Fuck, she was beautiful! Eyes dark with want, cheeks flushed, lips swollen from my kiss. I wanted to stay and look more, but the sound of Tyler's running footsteps as he headed for his bed reminded me of other responsibilities. I stood, forced to adjust myself yet again, and left her on the bed.

Crank met me in the hallway, a knowing smirk spread over his face. "Sorry, man."

"Yeah, right. You sent the little squirt." I couldn't help but grin, though. At least there was something going on to interrupt. More progress than I expected, really.

"Yep, sure did. Can't have you getting laid while I'm stuck with a massive case of blue balls."

"Damn, what'd you do, hump some old lady up against the wall at the funeral home?" Figured. If there was a willing female with a mile, Crank would be all over her.

The faint flush that spread over his face told me I hit a mark. "Nah, not some old lady. Sarah Channing."

Surprise dropped my jaw. I knew he wanted her, but she hardly seemed the sort to go for a biker. "Huh. It's the quiet, uptight ones you gotta watch."

Crank nodded agreement. "Now, I just have to convince to have dinner with me again, or something, kid-free. I've been chasing her too damn long, time to seal the deal and get her out of my system." He shook his head and muttered something about stubborn females.

I laughed a little. "Good luck, Brother."

Tyler's room had vehicles everywhere, like some kind of theme. Alexis must have spent a damn fortune. He waited in his bed, sitting up with a book and a dump truck pillow. "Reads me a story?"

It seemed like a reasonable request. Kids like bedtime stories, right? I sat down on the edge of his bed. "Sounds good. What story you got there?"

His smile faded. "Me and Mommy and Daddy maked it." He handed it over.

Poor fucking kid. I flipped the book open to a photo of him standing next to a backhoe, wearing a construction hat. Underneath, Alexis had written a little verse about Tyler and the backhoe. The other pages all held similar images, some with one or both of his parents, and similar verses, each with a different vehicle.

"This is a special book, Tyler. We have to make sure it doesn't get torn."

He nodded, serious. "I gots a box." He pointed, and I spotted the decorated box at the foot of his bed. With great care, he took the book, slipped it into the box, and closed the lid. Leaning down, he slid the box under his bed.

"Want to read something else now?" I didn't like the wistful look on his face. Kids shouldn't hurt like that.

His enthusiastic nod took care of it for the moment, though. He bounded off the bed, grabbed a book from one of his shelves, and bounced back. "This one!"

I took it. Dr. Seuss. I could handle that. "Soon as you're under the covers and tucked in, we'll get started."

He settled in quickly, eager for the story. We ended up reading it twice, but I didn't mind at all. His eyelids drooped when I finished the second time, so I slipped away, turned the light off, and left him to sleep.

After a quick pit stop in the bathroom, I returned to the guest room. Justine lay on the bed, just as I had left her. Her relaxed position and even breathing told me she slept. Despite the temptation, I decided she needed rest, and headed quietly down the stairs.

Nicole sat curled up in a chair, watching TV and talking on the phone, so I bypassed the living room and went searching for Crank. I found him outside on a step ladder, doing something over a window.

"Something wrong?" My words startled a curse from him.

"Nah, figured we could use some electronic security though." He finished up and came down. "Anyone comes near, I want to know who it is. That remark that bastard made about her biker friend set off all kinds of red flags for me. Fucker's been watching her, knew she was with you."

Fuck! "I should have noticed that. So it's just a matter of time before he shows up here."

Crank nodded. "That would be my guess. He's escalated to the point of tearing her panties up and all that fucked up shit, next step is probably direct contact."

Ice ran through my nerve endings, while dread sank my heart into my feet. "I can't let that happen, man. I'm making progress with her, getting her back. I won't let some rapist motherfucker take her from me again."

He gathered up his shit and headed into the garage, motioning me to follow. "Fabio, you know I'm not one to question where you put your dick, but are you sure this is a smart move for you? Chick destroyed you, man."

I leaned against a workbench while he put tools away. "Yeah, I know. No, I'm not sure at all. But I know now why she did it, and I get her reasons." I lifted my hands in a gesture of confusion. "I know I'm still fucking head over heels for her. I don't know, man."

"She could hurt you bad again." He hung the ladder on hooks.

"Yeah, she could. Easily. But I feel like I have to see this through." I took a deep breath, needing some courage. "You probably heard gossip from some of the girls at the clubhouse."

He gave a noncommittal nod.

"I can't bring myself to fuck another chick. Everything else is no problem, but I can't do that."

"Shit, man." He shook his head. "Some of the girls talk a little, but I hadn't heard that. So, you mean to tell me, all these years, you ain't put your dick in any of the girls you've had crawling all over you?"

"No, I haven't. And not for lack of trying. Don't matter if I'm sober as a judge, fucked up, drunk, stoned…Every time I get right there, I fucking go soft." The confession hurt like fuck to make. Bragging about sexual exploits was part of club life. Revealing impotence would bring on all kinds of nasty jokes and remarks.

He looked at me with something between fear and awe. "Dude, you are seriously fucked." He gave his head a quick shake. "She was your first?"

Unable to speak, I just nodded.

"All that adult nonsense about exclusive relationships worked a number on your head, I guess."

"I don't know what did it. But she's it for me. I need her like I need air." I sighed. "Fuck, that just sounds weak as hell."

He chuckled. "No argument there. Well, I guess we make sure nothing happens to send her running again, then."

"Fuck, I hope we can do that."

"No problem, man. If that fucker shows anywhere near here, I'll blast his ass to kingdom-fucking-come." The resolve radiating from Crank came as no surprise. I knew he would have my back without question.