Faith (Soul Savers Book 7) (10 page)

“See what?”
Rina asked, sounding genuinely bemused. “We see a community of
Normans who are trying to make the best with what they have.”

“No. What was
just there. The cavern full of carnage.”

They all stared at me
as though I’d lost my mind. I scowled.

“When you return
to Earth, you can help those souls,” Cassandra said. “You
will
help them. Right?”

I glanced at the people
in the cavern beyond the veil. “If it were possible, of course.
But it’s not. In the end, they’ll be Daemoni food. And
their end is soon. There’s not enough of them to fight the
creatures that are coming for them. Can I go now?”

The women stared at me,
blinking, their jaws unhinged.

“These are not
the only ones,” Cassandra finally said, and she changed the
view.

She showed other
clusters of Normans around the world who’d found a place to
hide and survive underground, creating their own miniature societies
as they figured out how to continue on in this new world. Some
focused on food and water, and others on weapons. Some looked
well-prepared and might have been crazy enough to try to take on the
Daemoni. But all turned into corpses before my eyes, screaming my
name, asking me how I could do this to them, weeping for their souls.

When I felt myself
slipping into the madness of Hell, though, I put a stop to it.
Perhaps a permanent breakdown would make the Angels realize I was not
their saving grace, but then they’d probably lock me up in some
weird Heaven asylum, and I’d never be able to go after Tristan.
I needed him to help me save Dorian because apparently he was the
only person left who cared about our son. So I held on to my sanity
as best as I could.

“There are still
plenty of Amadis, too, working for the cause,” Mom said as
Cassandra showed us another scene from Earth—Amadis in Asia
working to convert a couple of Daemoni vamps. Yay. Two new souls
saved, yes, but when it came to war, they were only two more vamps
against thousands … hundreds of thousands. I couldn’t
help but imagine their demise that was inevitable.

“Well, at least
their souls will be saved, because their bodies certainly won’t
be,” I muttered.

Mom scowled at me,
growing impatient with what she’d called my stubbornness at one
point. But I wasn’t being stubborn. I didn’t
want
to see all of these people dead. I didn’t
want
to feel
their agony and hear their cries for help. But I saw it and heard it
over and over again, threatening to break me once and for all.

“I can’t
help that that’s what I see,” I said. “It’s
more truth than what you’re trying to throw at me. Going to
Hell will do that to you—open your eyes to the horrors your
pure
souls refuse to believe possible. But they
are
possible. Lucas proved it.”

Cassandra tilted her
head to the side as I said this, studying me closely. The light of an
aha
moment seemed to switch on in her eyes. “You
honestly do see only evil happening to these people.”

Hallelujah. Someone
finally understood. Except I suddenly wanted to hide. She not only
grasped what I’d been trying to tell her, but she saw right
through me—saw that dark blemish of Hell stamped on my heart,
on my soul that changed everything I knew. But at least now we could
move on, to how we could save my husband and son.

“That’s
what I’ve been trying to tell you. So how can you ask me to
forsake Tristan’s and Dorian’s souls for
that
? I
can’t believe you’d do it at all, although it wouldn’t
be the first time, but especially not for a world that’s
hopeless.”

“Hopeless?”
Cassandra pronounced the word as though she’d never heard it
before, weighing it on her tongue as though she’d never spoken
it either. She glanced around for a moment before her eyes landed on
me. “Alexis, you do know the story of how I began the Amadis,
yes?”

My brows furrowed at
this abrupt change in subject. “Yes, of course. Jordan gave you
the potion that he thought had given him eternal life, and the Angels
enhanced it, giving you powers so you could start their army on
Earth. So instead of becoming evil like him, you remained good. Are
you saying you have a potion to give the Daemoni that would
automatically convert them?”

She sighed. “No.
That would be too simple.”

“Then why are we
wasting time on this?”

She ignored me. “You
have given the abridged version. Do you remember what set my twin
brother and me down very different roads to start with?”

Their story had been in
my leather-bound book that told the history of the Amadis all the way
up to the present day. I’d memorized everything in the book
before it was stored in the Sacred Archives where the Angels, I
assumed, kept it up to date. I briefly wondered now if the Sacred
Archives even existed anymore, along with the matriarch’s
mansion or Amadis Island, for that matter. I realized now that while
sharing scenes from Earth, Cassandra hadn’t shown Amadis
Island. If the island no longer existed, then that told me there was
no future for the Amadis. Just as I’d been saying.

“It started with
my father’s death,” Cassandra said when I didn’t
answer her.

My full attention
landed on her as I realized where she was going with this.

“Right. You
didn’t know he wasn’t human until then, when he rose from
his bed with wings. And you saw him as an Angel, and Jordan saw him
as a Demon.”

“Correct.
Jordan’s vision of our father sent him down a road to the
Daemoni and Hell, while my vision gave me hope, which kept me going
when I thought my world had ended. Without that hope, I would have
given up and lived out my days in that hut in the meadow. I would
have never found my true love again, given birth to my daughter, or
started the Amadis.”

“But you were
right,” I said. “Jordan was wrong when he thought he saw
a Demon.”

“He would
disagree with you. Until the very end, he was convinced he was right.
He believed with every ounce of his soul that he saw our father as a
Demon. For the rest of his life, that is where he put all of his
faith.”

“So you’re
saying that seeing is believing. And I know what I saw out there.”
I nodded in the direction of the Earthly realm. “And I know
what else I’ve seen with my own two eyes, experienced with my
own life.”

“I know what I
saw, as well,” Cassandra said. “Just as I know that I saw
my father as an Angel. In today’s Earth, I see humans who
continue fighting for their lives because as bad as everything is,
they believe it can be better again. I see Amadis protecting them
while also converting Daemoni, because they have hope, too. Whether
or not they believe you have left them, they continue to fight. They
continue to put their faith in their belief that good will win.”

Mom’s head
bobbed. “I see that, too.”

“As do I,”
Rina agreed.

I sighed internally. I
really wished I could see what they did—my heart and soul
ached
to believe there was hope for humanity and the world. But I couldn’t
just flip a switch and somehow magically believe. Not after all I’d
seen and been through.

“I’m sorry
that I don’t. If I did see any hope, I’d do everything I
could to help them. I swear I would! But I’m not enough.
Together, we’re not enough. There is no real hope.”

Cassandra moved closer
to me, taking my hands into hers. “Alexis, I ask that you
please dig deep in yourself and find that hope. It is there, I
know
it is, not to be seen with your eyes, but felt in your soul. I beg
that you not follow my brother’s path out of refusal to open
your heart again. Please be willing to consider that your view might
not be the real one.”

Mom gave me a sad
smile. “You used to be so full of love, hope, and faith.”

I snorted. “Yeah,
well, time in Hell—on Earth and the real thing—will do
that to you.”

“Honey, don’t
let Satan ruin everything for you. You have the chance to restore
goodness in the world. Don’t let him take that away. Don’t
let him win.”

I pursed my lips
together and looked away from the trio. Conflicting emotions swirled
through me, twisting everything up inside.

“Trust in your
Father,” Cassandra said, and my eyes flew back to her as I
raised an eyebrow. “Not that evil creature on Earth. He was
merely a means to an end—you. I mean your true Father. He is
taking care of you. Of all of us. He has His will and a plan, and you
are part of it.”

Heh. God had left the
building. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Trust in Him,
Alexis, and He will equip you with what you need,” Rina said.

“Or … be
like Jordan and place your faith in Satan, and like him, suffer the
consequences,” Cassandra said. “Our hope is that you
won’t abandon your people and the whole race of humanity when
they need you most.”

I suppressed a growl.
I’d never abandon my people or humanity! Not if I could believe
there was any chance of saving them. But, at least from here, I
couldn’t see that possibility. I couldn’t see anyone left
to
save. I couldn’t even trust that what Cassandra had
shown me through the veil depicted any semblance of truth,
considering they never fully disclosed anything to me. For all I
knew, they showed me nothing more than propaganda.

Cassandra placed a
finger on my chest. “Where you place your faith—that is
your
decision, Alexis, and only yours.”

“I have no faith.
You guys have pretty much shot that to Hell. Literally.”

“You believe in
something
, honey.”

“Like what?”
I demanded. “
You?
The Angels?
God?
”

She frowned. “Start
somewhere, and you will find your faith.”

Yeah, well, I wasn’t
sure where to start because I didn’t know what I believed in
anymore. Everything and everyone I’d trusted in before had
broken their promises. God, the Angels, Mom and Rina, the power of
the Amadis … they’d all betrayed me.

Everyone except
Tristan.

I still believed in
him. In us. In our love.

And our son. I still
believed there was hope for Dorian.

Then there was my
extended family—Owen and Vanessa, Charlotte, Sheree, Blossom
and Jax. Heather and even Sonya. But I had no idea if any of them
were still alive. Cassandra hadn’t shown me where they were, so
that could only mean one thing, and I didn’t want to see that.

So my husband and my
son appeared to be all that was left worth fighting for. Would I
fight for others? If I could, I would. Of course I would! But the way
things looked, Tristan and Dorian had to be enough for me to believe
in to carry me through what I had to do. Were they? My heart nearly
burst with the love I had for them. Hell, yeah, they were enough. I
just had to figure out how to save Tristan and then our son. As for
the rest of the world? Their souls were no less valuable, but I
didn’t know what could be done. For now,
they
were my
world.

And I couldn’t
save either as long as I was here.

“Okay.” I
lifted my hands, palms up. “You’re right. I know what I
have to do.”

Mom, Rina, and
Cassandra eyed me carefully.

“You will do what
needs to be done to save Earth’s souls?” Cassandra asked.

If there are any
left
. But I was done arguing with them, so I nodded. “Yeah.
But not because it’s my
purpose
. But because, unlike any
of you, I value
all
of their souls and would never purposely
leave anyone behind.”

Rina pressed her lips
together. Mom narrowed her eyes. Cassandra only nodded. They couldn’t
argue with me. Too many times they’d sacrificed one soul for
the “greater good.” Too many times in the past they’d
asked me to do the same. Asked me even now. I’d never given in
before and never would.

“God is with
you,” Cassandra finally said.

“Find your faith,
Alexis,” Rina said.

“I love you
always, no matter what,” Mom said.

Then the bottom dropped
out from underneath me, and I fell.

When I
found her soul down here in Hell, I’d wanted to kill her. My
own soul filled with joy to see her, of course, even if it was her
essence in the Otherworld rather than her whole self in the Earthly
realm. At least we were together. But finding her in Hell made me
think she’d gone and done something stupid again, as she was
known to do. It wasn’t her fault—she hadn’t had
time to learn the rules like the rest of us had. We were born into a
different world than her, even Rina and Sophia, who’d come from
a different time. We often took for granted what we knew. With new
challenges thrown at us nonstop, I’d been unable to give Alexis
the lessons I’d gained in my hundreds of years. She’d had
to learn as we went, trial by fire, so she was bound to make
mistakes.