Faith (Soul Savers Book 7) (8 page)

The
ascent lasted for eons, it seemed, even longer than it’d taken
to fall. Which, I supposed, was true for anything in life. Tumbling
down was easy. It was the getting back up and making the climb again
that required effort. I yelled and thrashed the whole way, hoping to
annoy the Angel until he turned around, but he acted as though he
forgot I was even there. Except his grip—it remained tight as
ever.

When we finally entered
the Earthly realm, I expected the Angel to drop me into my body since
I’d already been told I didn’t belong in Heaven, but we
zipped on through the realm without going through my body. In fact, I
never saw it or Tristan’s. For that matter, I didn’t
recognize where we flew through at all.

The crash of metal on
metal resounded in my ears, and I suddenly realized we’d only
passed by the physical realm. We hadn’t actually entered it. We
were still in the Otherworld, now in that space surrounding Earth
where the battle between Angels and Demons carried on. The Angel
dipped and lifted, twisted and swerved through it, narrowly avoiding
Angels’ swords and Demons’ claws. My foot kicked a
Demon’s horn, and it chased after us, but at the moment its
black nails scratched down my calf, two Angels ambushed it and
carried it away. Finally, we passed through a blinding band of white
light and then into the foggy area where I’d been before. The
Angel deposited me at Mom’s and Rina’s feet, and I
collapsed in a heap.

“Tristan!”
I cried as I pawed at the beautiful creature’s leg, trying to
latch back on. “We have to go back for him.”

The Angel shook me off
and replied in a deep, smooth voice, “He has what he needs.
Souls that do not belong there must make the choice themselves. He
must decide where his faith lies.”

My mouth fell open as I
stared up at him in disbelief for as long as he allowed me to before
he disappeared from sight. His words repeated what Tristan had told
me in Hell, but if they were true, why hadn’t he escaped yet? I
spun on Mom and Rina.

“We have to save
him!” I deplored.

When they opened their
mouths as if to respond, snakes tumbled out. Their eyes blackened,
and horns grew from their heads. I screamed until darkness consumed
me.

* * *

Monsters came at me
with enormous snake-like arms that wrapped around me, constricting my
lungs. I tried to fight them off, but the more I did, the more their
squeeze on me tightened. When I finally broke free, their faces
mutated to Mom’s and Rina’s, and I watched their bodies
fall to the ground as bullets punched a million holes into them,
spraying blood over the grass … which began to undulate, each
blade becoming a tentacle that tried to wrap itself around me.

“No!” I
tried to scream as the visions cycled back to the start, but the
noise that came out sounded like a toad’s croak.

“Alexis, it’s
us.” Mom’s voice carried over a great distance, and I
shook my head and squeezed my eyes closed because I couldn’t
stand to watch her die one more time. But even then, I saw it, the
memory playing on the backs of my lids. I’d never escape the
horrors of that night. “Alexis! Calm down!”

Something sharp hit my
face. No, not sharp, but it left a sting. I lifted my hand to my
cheek and peeled opened my eyelids. Mom’s and Rina’s
faces hovered in front of me, looking as beautiful as ever. And their
wings …

Winged beasts …

Fiery monsters …

“Alexis!”

I blinked.

Right. Not in Hell
anymore
. Then I bolted upright from whatever I lay on.
I have
to save Tristan. And Dorian! Is he still okay? Is he still with Noah?
I have to stop him!
My mouth opened to say all of this, but my
voice failed me. My tongue felt too large for my mouth, as though it
had suddenly become a snake …

Mom placed a hand on my
arm, but it wasn’t a hand. A claw, with red and orange marbled
skin and black, pointy tips. I jerked my arm away and stared at her
without seeing her. Satan’s face was before me instead. I
recoiled and blinked. Mom’s face returned. Her mouth moved as
she spoke, but all I heard were the desperate wails and howls of the
souls in Hell. They filled my ears, my mind, blocking everything else
out, the weight of them pressing on my mind, my heart, my soul.

Vises tightened around
my arms, my body shook, and my neck whiplashed. Hell disappeared
again, and my gaze bounced around wildly finding nothing, although I
sensed Mom’s and Rina’s presence. I couldn’t face
them, though. I couldn’t watch their deaths for the millionth
time.
No. Can’t see them like that again.
I looked
everywhere but at them.

“Honey …”

My head twitched at the
patronizing voice that grated over my nerves. Something wasn’t
right.
I
wasn’t right. I sprang off the bed and searched
around for … I didn’t know what. There was nothing here.
Nothing but whiteness, a thick vapor surrounding us. My hands clasped
over my head; my fingers dug into my hair.
Think, Alexis! Where
are you? What are you doing?
Right. Okay. I was by Heaven’s
Gates again. Right? And if so, beyond that fog was Heaven in one
direction and the Otherworld—the common part where Angels and
Demons fought—in the other. And beyond that, Hell. I needed to
go back there. I didn’t want to go back there.
No, please,
no. Don’t make me.
I clutched at my head, trying to block
the memories before they came.

But Tristan … he
was still down there.

My head snapped up. My
voice found itself.

“I need to go to
Hell,” I announced.

“Alexis,
darling—” Rina began. Again with the lofty tone. I was so
sick of their condescension.

I held my hand up,
refusing to look at her. More because I was afraid to see the memory
of her death again than to show my contempt. “I need to save
Tristan.”

“Honey, there’s
nothing we can do,” Mom said.

“We can go after
him!” I spun on them, momentarily forgetting the horror I would
see. Blood poured out of a bullet wound in Mom’s head. I didn’t
bother shutting my eyes this time. I’d still see it—Satan
would mess with my mind forever. So I dropped my gaze, staring at the
floor and the ends of her wings that lay on it. “Call for the
Angel. He can go back and help Tristan.”

“Tristan already
has an Angel, yes?” Rina said.

“Only one. That’s
not enough. Not with the …” The horrors. Oh, God, the
horrors
.

The screams, the
shouts, the cries for help. I couldn’t help them. I couldn’t
help the souls down there. Just like I couldn’t help Solomon or
Mom or Rina or those children in the train car.

Screaming filled my
ears. My own. A hand pressed on my forehead, and darkness relieved
me.

But not for long.

I dreamt of monsters
with horned heads and spiked tails, and snakes trying to swallow me
whole, and ice and fire, and people shrieking, and people dying …
people I knew. People I loved. Lilith, Mom, Rina, Solomon, the kid in
London who’d gone and had himself infected thinking I could
convert him, Sheree, Owen, Vanessa, Blossom, Jax, Charlotte …
my sweet Dorian, oh God, my Dorian … and Tristan. I awoke
breathless. But I hadn’t been sleeping, and I hadn’t been
dreaming. Not really. Just reliving memories. Except, not all had
been experienced. Yet. At least, as far as I knew, not all were dead.
Not Dorian or Tristan, anyway. But it was only a matter of time for
either of them. Especially for their souls.

Because I’d
failed them. I had to fix that. I could save them.

I looked around. More
white nothingness. The air tasted and smelled clean and fresh. The
bedding under me was soft and silky to the touch. I wasn’t in
Hell, but I wasn’t in Heaven, either.

And I wasn’t
alone.

Movement above me. Mom
and Rina—the Angel versions, not the bloody ones—hovered,
looking down on me.

“Did he bring
Tristan back? Did you send the Angel?” I asked.

“I’m sorry,
honey.” The endearment set my teeth on edge. “There was
an Angel with him. No one else can be spared from the war. We need
all of the warriors we have to fight the Demons.”

“Well, there are
plenty of Demons down there to fight.” Anger boiled up in me,
and I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and jumped to my feet
with restless energy.

“That is their
home,” Rina said. “And one Angel is enough if Tristan
truly wants out. It is up to him.”

“Like it was up
to me to go down there?” I sneered. “The
Angel
told me I didn’t belong here. Pushed me down there.”

“You
don’t
belong here,” Mom said.

Panic momentarily
clawed at my insides with her words, and for a moment, I thought I’d
be shoved away down to Hell again. But I forced myself to keep
control, to not let the living nightmare overcome me. I needed to
focus. On Tristan, who was still in Hell. On Dorian … Another
thought occurred to me, wrapping me so tightly in terror, I thought
my ribs would crack.
Dorian!

If I didn’t stop
Dorian, Satan would eventually take my son’s soul, too. My
sweet, little boy, young and innocent, would be trapped in the fiery
depths of Hell, hiding his fear behind a mask of courage in his hazel
eyes. I could already hear him screaming for me in my mind.
Mom!
And I tried to yell back that I was coming, but I couldn’t
move. Couldn’t breathe.

I suddenly lay flat on
my back. My back with no wings. At least
I didn’t have to worry about those any longer. The Angels must
have realized they’d made a mistake giving them to me.

“Focus on love.”
Mom’s voice sounded normal, soft, not grating, in my ear. Her
hand stroked lightly up and down my arm. “You can make
everything go away if you let love replace it. Let the light of love
push the darkness away.”

I closed my eyes and
tried to picture my two boys and me with love surrounding us, not
Hell. I saw us on the beach of Amadis Island the day Tristan and
Dorian had first met, my tow-headed little man running with abandon
for his father’s arms. I watched another moment on the beach as
the three of us fell into the sand together and Sasha bounced around
us, barking and darting in for sniper-licks. I brought back other
memories—Tristan and I making dinner while Dorian did
schoolwork at the table, the three of us practicing Aikido, our
family snuggled up and reading in bed. Back when the world had been
normal. At least, closer to normal than it was now.

“Save them from
Hell,” I murmured sleepily. “Bring them here, too.”

“This place is
not for them.”

“You said that
about me, yet here I am.”

“You are here so
the Angels may give you what you need.” Rina’s voice
floated from the end of the bed, by my feet.

I tried to comprehend
her meaning, but my mind was slipping away. Warmth spread across my
skin and into my flesh. Calming. Peaceful. My breathing came easier …
slower … Until I passed out.

I didn’t know how
long I dozed, but whatever the length, it must have been needed
because I felt much better, much stronger, much
clearer
when I
woke. I glanced around and found myself completely alone in the foggy
space of Heaven’s lobby. But not for long. Mom and Rina
instantly appeared.

I scowled and pulled my
arms tight to my chest with the way they looked at me. Pity? Or was
that loathing? Maybe a mixture of both. I turned away, needing to
keep my distance from them before they peered too closely. Before
they saw the ugly, dark stains on my heart, on my soul—the
blemishes left by Satan and Hell … shadows of the lives I’d
taken.

Not that they didn’t
have their own faults, with their lies and their secrets and their
insufferable, holier-than-thou attitudes. Funny how they stared with
repugnance at my darkness created by everything I’d been
through, but they were the ones who’d changed for the worse
since
ascending
.

“I assume Tristan
and Dorian aren’t here.” My tone came out harsh as I
threw up a defensive wall.

“No.” The
whisper was so quiet, I didn’t know who said it. It didn’t
matter.

“How do I get
them then?” I sat up and looked at them expectantly. “If
the Angels won’t help, I’ll get Tristan myself, and then
together we can stop Dorian.”

Rina’s hand went
to her throat. “You cannot return to Hell!”

I glared at her. “But
it was okay to go the first time?”

She blinked, probably
appalled by my tone. Or maybe by the accusation. I didn’t
didn’t know and didn’t care. “No.”

“But you sent me
there anyway.”

“That was not our
intention.”

I lifted a brow.

Mom hurriedly piped in.
“When we said before that you don’t belong here, we
didn’t mean you belong in Hell. The Angel didn’t mean it
either.”

“You do not
belong in Heaven, nor in Hell,” Rina added. “None of you
do. You do not belong in the Otherworld at all. You belong on Earth.”

I lifted my chin. “Are
you saying that’s where Tristan is? Or is he still in Hell?”

Their silence, as
usual, was my answer.
Unbelievable.

“So why do you
care if
I
return, if it’s okay to leave
him
there?” I stood up to be at their height and pointed at my
grandmother. “You, Rina, swore more than anyone that Tristan
was one of us. You of all people know he doesn’t belong there.”

“It only matters
what
he
believes, and if he believes that, he will return.”

“Unless he needs
a little help from me.” How many times had the evil monster
inside him tried to take over and I’d helped him overcome it?
Our love had beaten it. What if that was all he needed now? I grasped
at the leather collar of the black fighting corset I wore, slipped my
hand under it to press against the stone embedded over my heart,
hoping he could feel me. It warmed at my touch, but that did nothing
to calm me. The physical feeling wasn’t even real. “He
went down there for me! I may as well have killed him, and now he’ll
lose his soul. And I’m not supposed to do anything about it?
About Dorian? What the hell
am
I supposed to do?”