Faith (Soul Savers Book 7) (3 page)

“Where am I?”
I asked, because this vast emptiness couldn’t possibly be
Heaven. Where were the golden roads and the walls made of jewels?
Where were the souls singing with joy? Where were my husband and son?
My team? My people?

“We’re in
the Otherworld.” Mom finally gave me a straight answer. Sort
of. The Otherworld consisted of an entire dimension, vaster than
Earth, perhaps larger than the universe. Full of many realms.

“But not in
Heaven.” I didn’t state it as a question. I felt too much
pain for this to be Heaven. Besides, I didn’t belong there.
“How do I physically
feel
when Tristan holds my body in
the Earthly realm? How am I even here?
Why?
”

“No, not Heaven,
but very near it,” Rina said, evading my other questions.

The fog shifted in the
distance, revealing a crowd of people. Stefan, Solomon, and Winston
had returned, along with other Amadis whose funerals I’d
attended. For as far as I could see behind them stood a sea of
people.

“Everybody’s
dead,” I whispered. Having seen the mushroom clouds on Earth
and the lifeless world before it had disappeared, this truth couldn’t
have been more obvious. Confirmed by prolonged silence.

Tears slid down my
cheeks as I stared at the endless crowd. A large group of women with
very similar looks—coppery hair, large, dark eyes, olive
skin—stood up front by the Amadis, glaring at me in return. At
once, they began to turn their backs on me as a thin cloud floated
in, erasing everyone from sight once again. The previous Amadis
matriarchs had made no effort to hide their disappointment in me.

They’d trusted me
to defeat our enemy and win this war. I’d failed them, like I’d
failed everyone else.

I swallowed hard. “So
if not Heaven, where are we?”

“We are close,”
Rina assured. “At the Gates.”

I glanced around but
saw nothing but whiteness. We couldn’t be that close.

“We’re as
close as a twitch of the hand,” Mom said. “As close as a
final decision.”

I understood her
implication—I only needed to make the choice for my soul. “Are
Tristan and Dorian already there?”

Mom’s lips curved
downward. “They do not belong there.”

My stomach plummeted,
and tears filled my eyes. I shook my head in denial. “No. This
isn’t right. If they don’t, then neither do I.”

“Darling …”

“
No
.”
No part of me could accept this. Not this fate. Not this place. Not
after what I’d done.

I rocked back onto my
butt, crossed my ankles, and pulled my knees to my chest. The big,
feathery wings that had burst out of my back in an explosion of pain
only moments ago wrapped around me, closing me in, as though
comforting and protecting me. I pressed my forehead to my knees and
squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t deserve to be here. I didn’t
deserve comfort and protection.

I most certainly didn’t
deserve fucking wings.

Not these kind anyway.
Not the huge, white, feathery kind that belonged to Angels. If I’d
earned any wings at all, they should have been thin and leathery and
accompanied by horns, a tail, and cloven hooves.

“Alexis, honey,”
Mom tried again, and the warm tone and term of endearment enraged me.

My wings flew back, and
I jumped to my feet, spinning around to face Mom, Rina, and
Cassandra, who’d suddenly appeared. They stood there with their
white leathery dresses, swords strapped to their backs, and huge
wings spread wide. Their wings weren’t white, as I’d
thought before, but a pearlescent color that gave off a pale lavender
hue. All three women were inhumanly beautiful, even with the grim
expressions on their faces. Expressions of displeasure I knew I’d
see.

“How could you
let this happen?” I demanded, waving my hand back toward where
I’d seen Earth and Tristan holding my dead body. “How
could you do this to me? To the Amadis, to humanity and the world?”

“Alexis,
darling,” Rina began once more.

I thought my soul would
explode into pieces as anger and hurt, and every emotion that had
been swirling together, built to a point where they could no longer
be contained.

“YOU LEFT ME!”
I bellowed at them, my hands balling into fists. “You said I
was ready for this. You said I’d never be alone. No matter how
many times I begged for help, no matter how many times I told you I
couldn’t do this, no matter how many times I failed, you
insisted. But you never helped! You never gave me messages in my book
with direction. You left me to fight a war I could never win. You
even took away my telepathy. My one advantage! You set me up for
failure, and that’s exactly what I did. And now look at what’s
left of the world. Look what I’ve done. You kept saying we’d
win, that I could beat Lucas and lead the Amadis to victory. But you
lied
. I failed. And now the entire world has paid for it.”

Like a thick, hot
waterfall, grief crashed over me and drenched me in misery. I fell to
my knees again.

“Alexis, it is
not over, though.” Cassandra’s voice remained calm in
contrast to my rage. She’d moved to float right above me, and I
lifted my head to glare at her.

“It is,” I
said through a tight jaw. “It’s
all
over. Lucas
and the Daemoni have won. I just want to be with my son and my
husband and be done with it. I know I don’t deserve any favors,
but can you please bring them here? Or take me to them?”

“They cannot be
here,” Rina said. “They do not belong here.”

My chest rumbled.

“I’m here,
aren’t I?” I snapped. “If that’s possible,
surely they can be here, too. They certainly don’t deserve to
be in that Hell down there.”

“They still have
a purpose to serve. As do you,” Cassandra said.

I huffed out a breath.
The phrase, the idea of it, the philosophy about serving one’s
purpose that had been driving me for so long sounded so contrite
anymore. No, more like a joke. The insane urge to laugh bubbled up in
my chest, but died instantly.

“I have no
purpose now,” I said flatly.

“You do. It has
not changed.”

My gaze snapped up to
her. “How can you say that? There are no souls to save. No
humans to protect. Lucas has grown to insane levels of power,
consuming anything left as we speak.”

“No, Alexis. The
war wages on.” Cassandra swept her arm out, clearing away a
thick fog behind them, and revealing a scene like none on Earth.

A fierce battle
encircled the entire world, seemingly in a layer hidden between the
troposphere and the ozone—between where I was now and the
Earthly realm—and every one of the warriors were winged. Some
had magnificent white, feathery wings that glowed, although there was
really no light in this space. These were creatures of majestic
beauty with powerful bodies that fought with finesse and skill. The
others were no different than the Demons that had invaded
Earth—horned, bat-winged, and terrifyingly ugly. The beauties
and the beasts fought each other with a ferocity that could only
exist between Angels and Demons.

Swords swished through
the air, clanging against each other. Maces swung, and their spiked
ends lodged into shields or flesh. Fangs were bared, and jaws
snapped. Claws struck out. Silver and black blood splattered and
mixed together. The hand-to-hand combat resembled bloody battles of
the past, between Vikings or Romans and their enemies. I couldn’t
help but duck when a long blade swung toward my head, not knowing
whether it could reach me here or not.

Cassandra’s hand
descended, as though closing a window shade to hide the scene once
again. Our surroundings returned to the soft glow of white
nothingness that was near the entrance to Heaven, like its foyer or
ground floor. Since
I
was here, probably more like its
sub-basement.

“The Angels and
Demons have been at war in the Otherworld since the beginning of
mankind,” Cassandra said. “They fight for human souls.
The Demons try to ensnare the souls before their time, and the Angels
protect them until the humans decide their eternal fate. Never have
they fought with such fierce passion and determination as now.”

“Maybe someone
should tell them it’s over,” I suggested.

“But it’s
not,” Mom said.

My head flinched back.
“But there are no humans left to fight for. There’s
nothing
left to fight for.”

“There is
everything
left.” Cassandra’s mahogany eyes
sparked with the same resolve that filled her voice. “But the
outcome has never been more at risk than now. The consequences have
never been so dire. The future of the world, of humanity, is at
stake.”

Her tone had turned
into one of urgency, borderline desperation. Her eyes and expression
pleaded with me, as though I could do anything to solve the problem.
My heart squeezed for her pain, but I lifted my hands in the air.

“I’m
sorry that you put your bets on the wrong daughter. I really,
truly am. But I warned you, and now I’ve destroyed whatever
hopes you might have had, along with the entire world. What more can
you possibly expect from me?”

“We expect you to
keep fighting,” Cassandra said simply, as though that were
obvious.

My fingers pressed at
my forehead as an ache set in, and I squinted at her. “Fight
who? The Demons?”

Cassandra’s head
nodded once. “Yes, the Demons. And Lucas and the Daemoni.”

My hand dropped to my
side and hit my thigh with a soft thud as I stared at her. “But
why
? Humanity is already lost. Wiped off the face of the
Earth. Lucas and the Daemoni have already won.”

“No, they have
not. Not yet.”

I stared at the very
first matriarch, apparently sent to be the messenger on behalf of the
Angels. Her words, their request didn’t compute. Were they
unable to see through the veil for some reason? Were they blind to
the complete destruction Lucas had caused?

“You must not
give up,” Mom said. She moved closer to me and took my hands
into hers. “We still need you.”

I closed my eyes and
blew out a long breath as I slowly shook my head. “I’ve
caused enough loss and devastation. I won’t cause any more.”

“The
Angels
need you, darling,” Rina added.

Cassandra moved closer
to me, and her voice softened. “There is still hope, Alexis.
There is still love, which you know is worth fighting for. You only
need to have faith, and we will be victorious.”

The insane laughter
that had threatened before bubbled up and out of my chest, tumbling
across the warm, clean air of Heaven’s lobby. Laughter in
Heaven should have sounded like ringing bells, but mine was more like
a Chihuahua’s bark, sounding as ugly and foreign in this place
as I was.

The laughter died out.
My body, with these ridiculous wings, sagged, feeling so heavy that I
was surprised I didn’t fall through the floor. Faith? I had
none left. Everything I’d believed in had died with my body …
with the world.

“I can’t
fight for you,” I said.

“You can,”
Mom insisted. She grabbed my upper arm and gave me a shake, yanking
me to attention as she leaned into my face. Her finger jabbed at my
chest. “
You
are our hope, Alexis. The Angels depend on
you
to do your part. All of the souls of Heaven and Earth need
you
. You are the
only
one who can finish this war.”

I shook my head and let
out a humorless chuckle. “I’m the
last
one who can
do it.
Angels
and
Heaven
? They mean nothing anymore. I
can’t fight for those things.”

With a blast of air
that lifted my hair and wings, our surroundings returned to the
Otherworldly battle, only now we were smack dab in the middle of it.
When a mace swung at my shoulder, it actually hit me, and the force
knocked me back a few steps. I ducked as it came at me again.

“You
must
fight,” Cassandra ordered as she drew her sword, twisted
around, and stabbed a Demon in its chest.

Confused and
bewildered, I gestured behind me, to the limitless, empty space that
was supposedly at Heaven’s Gates where we’d just been.

“But I don’t
even belong here!” I shouted.

An Angel several times
my size with blond hair and the face of Adonis turned from the Demon
he’d just decapitated and faced me. With a heated glare, he
raised his powerful arms out to the side, a sword in each hand. I
cowered backwards, stumbling over my feet as I stared up into his
brutal but perfect face that looked familiar, like one of the angel
statues that used to hang at the top of the meeting room in the
Amadis Council Hall.

“Alexis
Katerina,” his voice boomed, “you are correct.”

His hand came toward
me, his sword barely missing my face as his fist shoved into my
chest.

“You do
not
belong here!”

His voice echoed in my
ears and brain as I began to fall.

Away from him. Away
from my mom and Rina and Cassandra. Away from Heaven’s Gates.

“I know,” I
whispered, and the feeling of falling changed into the sensation of
being swept away and pulled downward.

I didn’t fight
the tug. I didn’t try to use these wings on my back that maybe
could have provided a means of escape. I knew very well I didn’t
belong in Heaven or anywhere near it.

After passing through
heavier white fog, the Earthly realm surrounded me with its dirty air
and the pungent odor of life being torched. My wings broke and bent,
extracting a scream as I fell into my body, but I didn’t stop
there. I was dragged through it, instead. I stared into Tristan’s
face, his eyes closed and his head lolled to the side as he still
held me pressed against his body. I lifted my arms and tried to reach
out for him, to touch him, to hold on to him or on to my corporeal
self or on to
something
in the real world, but my hands only
grasped at air as I passed through.